Choosing Thoughts of Love


Visiting with my brothers this past weekend.

I’m feeling the love.

This weekend—and this month really—I’ve had the awesome opportunity to reunite members of my family who hadn’t seen each other in close to 30 years. Just contemplating this fills my heart with love.

These reunions are making me even more aware of how important healthy relationships are to overall wellness. Expanding your circle of love and support taps you into positive anabolic energy that literally boosts your body at the cellular level.

But I’m also aware of the value of challenging relationships. As Esther Hicks says, “Every person with whom you interact is a part of the person you are becoming.”

What this means is that even the most challenging relationship gives us the opportunity to decide Who we’re going to be. Just because someone is withholding love from us doesn’t mean we have to withhold love from them.

And it is our decision to offer or withhold love that impacts our wellness—just as the other person’s decision to offer or withhold love impacts their wellness. It is what we are doing to ourselves that impacts us—not what the other person is doing “to us.”

This doesn’t mean that you have to maintain or stay in negative catabolic relationships. You can choose not to be a part of someone’s life, and still move towards forgiveness and even love in your own heart. You can value the opportunity to become more of the loving person you want to be.

Too often we give our power to other people. We think if they behave in X manner the only response is Y. By taking responsibility for your own reactions and choosing a different response—turning the other cheek—the wellness you impact is your own.

This can be particularly challenging when we judge another’s behavior to be “bad.” You may not be able to move from observing their “wrong” actions to loving them in an instant. In those circumstances, reframe your thoughts around the situation just enough so that you feel a sense of relief.

Let’s say someone cuts you off in traffic and instead of getting really angry, you remind yourself that this person isn’t intentionally making your life miserable. They don’t even know you. And perhaps you give them the benefit of the doubt by thinking, “Maybe they just broke up with someone and are upset, or they have a sick child that they’re rushing to get home.” Reach for whatever thought feels better to you. And then just keep doing that a little bit at a time.

Look for reasons to appreciate every interaction you have today. Consciously decide Who you want to become as a result of each encounter. Be more of the person you want to be.

Together we can do it!

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9 thoughts on “Choosing Thoughts of Love

  1. Thank you for a wonderful posting today.
    I chose to “opt out” of someone’s life who was an incredibly close relative this year. An uncle suggested it to me. It has been so incredibly healing. I realized that I can still love and forgive that person but not longer feel the need to carry the guilt load, which they placed on me constantly.

  2. Hanna, thank you so much for this amazing post. So true, and perfectly timely. I look forward to re-reading this one a few more times! Thanks again. ~Gina

  3. Also very timely comments for me this week! I think I was doing this anyway, but it’s good to know why it felt better to do it than to choose the opposite. Thank you!

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