3 Easy Tips to Create a Slimmer You in 2013

ScaleOver this holiday week, you may have found yourself eating, and eating, and eating!

And you may be beating yourself up about it.

But telling yourself how horrible you are truly is NOT helpful—and it could very well end up making you feel so bad about yourself that you unknowingly sabotage your future efforts to lose weight. 

It will probably go something like this:

You feel fat. You may even feel desperate to lose weight. Every time you feel how tight your clothes are, all you can think about is how much you hate your body.

You know you need to diet and exercise so that you can drop some weight, but it’s the end of the year, right? Why start now?

You make a New Year’s Resolution to lose weight. You decide that on January 2nd you are going to start dieting and exercising.

Between now and then you keep eating, and eating, and eating. You are trying to cram in every food you love to prepare for months of hunger and deprivation.

You feel bloated, headachy, and slightly sick.

And you hate yourself even more. You feel ashamed that you’ve let your weight get out of hand—again.

On January 2, you force yourself to work out and you start a diet that drastically cuts the amount of food you’ve been eating.

Each day gets harder and harder.

Maybe your diet lasts for a day or two, or for a week or two, or maybe you are even successful at meeting your goal.

And then you feel your control slip.

You just can’t maintain the rigid diet and exercise “rules” you’ve set in place. You’re tired of being hungry. Your tired of feeling deprived. Your tired of feeling like you aren’t fully living your life.

Before you know it, you’ve regained the weight you’ve lost—and then some.

This time next year, you find yourself putting “losing weight” at the top of your list of New Year’s resolutions—again.

It’s time to say, “ENOUGH!”

There is another way! And you don’t have to follow rigid rules, feel hungry and deprived to get the body you want. (Honestly!)

The first tip  is to ease up on the self-criticism.

This makes sense when you think about the the foundation principle that Energy Attracts Like Energy (also known at the Law of Attraction).

If you spend all your time thinking about the fact that you don’t have the body you want, you are actually creating more life experiences where you are unhappy with your body.

Begin using this Universal Law to work for you instead of against you! 

Start today by focusing on what you can appreciate about your body. By focusing on what is working and what you do like, you will create more opportunities to appreciate and love your body.

The second tip  is to ease up (just slightly!) on the food intake.

This is not the last time you will be able to eat your favorite foods. (I promise!) When you take off the pressure of “never being able to eat this again!” there is not the frenzy to shove everything in now before the “diet deadline.”

Eat what actually feels good. What you really want in this moment. What you can really savor.

There is more than enough. There is plenty. You can still eat your favorite foods AND lose weight. 

Taking the self-imposed pressure off means you will eat less, enjoy more, and start the year maybe not quite as heavy and physically hung-over as you would be otherwise.

You will feel better and have some momentum going on January 2, so beginning to implement some healthier eating doesn’t come as such a shock to your system.

The third tip is to take baby steps.

If going to the extreme of implementing rigid rules and drastically reduced calories is going to make you feel deprived and resentful—and ultimately send your efforts to create the body you want on the skids—then why go that route?

What if instead you committed to eating a little bit healthier today? Or getting in a 10 minute walktoday? And you celebrated what you did, instead of what you didn’t do? Would making that same commitment be a little easier tomorrow? What would your wellness journey look like next week? Next month? In six months?

“A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.”

Lao-tzu, Chinese philosopher (604 BC – 531 BC)

What step are you willing to take on your wellness journey today?

When you just keep taking those small steps, it’s not too much time before you have achieved your New Year’s Resolution and have created the body—and lifestyle—you want!

Together we can do it!

I’m offering a FREE tele-class to help you revolutionize your weight-loss resolution (so it finally works)!

Transform Your New Year’s Resolution

to Lose Weight!

Make 2013 the Year

You Finally Get the Body You Want  

 

January 2, 2013, 8 p.m. USA Eastern

In this content-rich seminar you’ll discover:

  • The Top 5 Ways You are Unknowingly Sabotaging Your Efforts to Lose Weight
  • Why Your Weight is Still a Struggle for You and How to Break the Rebound Weight-gain Cycle Once and For All
  • The Surprising Power You Have to Successfully Lose Weight and Improve the Life of You and Your Family
  • 3 Easy Tips to Transform Your New Year’s Resolution and Turn it into a Reality
  • An Exciting NEW Opportunity to “Love Your Way Slim”
  • Plus Much More…

Simply register by filling out the form at loveyourwayslim.com/transformyourresolution/ and you’ll receive access to this free call.

 

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Wellness Tip of the Day

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Wellness Tip of the Day

 

Wellness is making better choices—eating, moving, being kind to yourself and others. It’s about taking care of you for the long-run

 

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My blog is moving! To keep following my posts after January 15, you will need to follow my new blog, at LoveYourWaySlim.com. I look forward to continuing the journey with you!

 

Beyond Tragedy: A Wake Up Call

Many people are emotionally reeling from the events that happened Friday in Connecticut.

In yesterday’s blog, I shared my deeply personal story about the self-healing power of forgiveness—even if we belief the actions of someone are unforgivable.

Today, I wanted to share a blog written by my coach, Kendra Thornbury, that outlines how to move forward and create meaning during this challenging time.

While these steps are particularly powerful right now, many of these are the same steps you will need to take to clear any internal blocks—including those that are keeping you from getting the body you want.

Love Yourself

There’s a deep cry that will likely go unheard and get lost in the reactions to the shooting.

It’s the cry of the shooter. As horid as his actions were, to not look to the cause of such actions isirresponsible and, frankly, a disgrace to the lives that were lost.

It’s imperative to recognize that what transpired is an outcome of a systemic problem. The awful outcry is a demonstration of fear based beliefs gone totally out of control.

How do we move forward? How can we create meaning from this?

It begins with accepting responsibility for how we each play a part in creating our world.

This means…

  • Take full responsibility for being an empowered, whole, at-choice member of our human family.
  • No longer tolerate the kinds of choices and behaviors, even on a small scale, that lead to such eruptions.
  • Raise your standards.

It starts with you.

1) Eradicate the violence toward yourself.

The truth is that most of us commit acts of violence toward our selves almost every day.

  • You talk negatively, even violently, to yourself.
  • You judge yourself.
  • You tolerate less than the ideal.
  • You put up with stress & anxiety.
  • You engage depleting habits.
  • You ignore your soul’s desires.
  • You dismiss your dreams.
  • You eat processed & non-nutrient dense food.
  • You abuse your body.
  • You resign to relationships that aren’t an honorable match.
  • You live in fear.

Commit to be a co-creator of peace by stopping any and all acts of violence toward yourself!

First, GET REAL about how you are violent within yourself.

What acts of violence do you carry out toward yourself each day?

What critical, condemning thoughts do you repeat about yourself?

What habits do you allow that are less than loving (if not abusive) to your body?

What choices to you make that suck the life from your soul?

Then, DECIDE you are worth more.

Lastly, CHOOSE to replace the old beliefs & habits with loving and peaceful ones. Nothing less will do!

2) Integrate Your Shadow.

We all have parts.

I am devoted, on purpose and generous.

I am also self-serving, lazy and protective.

Our complexity and dimensions are vast. Yet we all walk around pretending to be “perfect”, keeping up the persona we believe we need to keep in order to belong.

When parts of you that you deem as being unworthy go unacknowledged or unexpressed, they go “underground”.

(These can be parts of you that you are embarrassed or ashamed of.)

What happens is that they become unconscious, shadow aspects. And rather than going away (which you are trying to make them do), they end up running you.

What you run from runs you.

My appeal to you is to get radically honest about your shadow parts and learn to accept and integrate them. As Debbie Ford says, shadows teach us that there is gold to be mined in every experience.

3) Make It Sacred To Feel.

The oppression of emotion DOES NOT WORK. Our emotional intelligence system has been relegated to a weak place. We’ve collectively dismissed emotions, resulting in unconconscious and destructive behaviors. (The Shadow)

It’s natural to feel. Yet every day we deny feelings exist.

My invitation to you is to make it sacred to feel. Choose to hold emotions with reverence and respect.

This is what I’ve done. And in the last 5 days I’ve allowed a spectrum of emotions to move through me. Without this, I would go crazy. I would be boiling just beneath the surface, vulnerable to burst at any unpredictable moment.

surrender to my feelings and let them inform me of a richer reality that does not exist when I pretend and numb out.

After you choose to make your feelings sacred, learn how to be with, express and manage them in a healthy and constructive way.

4) Own Your Projections.

Here’s the “not-so-pretty” way of getting to the point here. People are barfing their stuff on each other all the time.

Mostly we believe it’s “justified” because we feel hurt or victimized by what another says or does. But really, it’s time to grow up and recognize that NO ONE is responsible for our reality.

The truth is that you are powerful and you are the creator.

So stop making others’ responsible for how you feel and what results you get and take charge of reality.

5) Forgive.

It’s time.

Built up resentment and anger is toxic.

The wounds. The betrayal. What he did. What she didn’t do. How you were wronged. The love you didn’t get. The hurts that happened 10, 20, 30 years ago.

Let it go.

Receive the lesson.

And let it go.

6) Love More.

It all comes down to love.

The challenges I pose to you above are ultimately acts of self-love.

And in loving yourself, you will naturally and readily extend the unconditional and heart-centered attention that our people and planet are in such desperate need of right now.


KendraKendra E Thornbry, MA, is an international highly acclaimed coach, spiritual guide, speaker, facilitator, humanitarian and entrepreneur. She’s on the cutting edge of spiritual thought and conscious business practice, blazing a new trail & wealth revolution.

She has served as a board member for the Women’s Business Exchange, Woman’s Way Red Lodge and has been President for the Washington Chapter of the International Coaching Federation.

A personal growth junkie, Kendra’s latest adventures in challenging the status quo include packing her belongings in storage and travelling for 16 months (and still counting).

Labels aside, she considers herself a human being simply doing her best to walk a path of authenticity and integrity while making a much-needed difference.

You can sign up for Kendra’s blog at www.kendrathornbury.com

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My blog is moving to my new website LoveYourWaySlim.com. To keep following my posts after January 15, you will need to follow my new blog. I look forward to continuing the journey with you!

Open Your Heart to Get the Body You Want

Love yourself leanHave you ever shut your heart to someone?

I know I have. Withholding love is a very common reaction when people are not living up to your expectations, or you truly believe what they are doing is wrong.

With what happened in Connecticut last week, you may believe that there are things that people have done that are plain unforgivable.

It can be easy to feel justified in judging the culprit as unworthy of your love.

I totally get that.

When I was a kid, I was emotionally and physically abused by my father. And I doubt that many people had any idea of the pain being inflicted on me, my mother, and brothers behind closed doors. It took him almost killing my mother one night for us to find the courage to leave him.

At the age of 15, I severed all connections with my father.

I think most people would say I was justified in withholding love from him. And I did for a long time.

While it was the absolute best decision I could have made to protect myself from any future physical and emotional harm, not forgiving him only hurt me.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

–Buddha

Shutting your heart down—even for the best of reasons—does not actually punish the other person. And it is far more detrimental to you.

The negative reaction is felt in your body, not theirs. And it is causing you physical harm.

This is why practicing forgiveness and unconditional love is so powerful.

By allowing yourself to give love—no matter what—you’re providing yourself with constructive, positive energy that actually boosts your immune system and helps heal and rebuild your body at the cellular level. And yes, helps you get the body you want.

Over the years, I let go of the anger, hurt, and pain that I experienced in the relationship with my father. Not only did I come to forgive him, but I began to see there was actually nothing to forgive.

You see, I learned so much about myself and what I wanted as a result of those experiences.

  • I learned that I had a powerful voice when twice he came to my bed—and I said “No.”
  • I got crystal clear on what I didn’t want out of a relationship, which I think was necessary to figure out what I did want. That clarity is absolutely the reason I chose the amazing man who has been my husband for 20 years.
  • I became who I am right now—and that is a strong, powerful, loving woman who has so much to offer the world.

From where I am now, I truly value those experiences—and my father.

On Saturday, I received news that my father had died.

What I felt was peace.

I could feel the last little bit of my with-holding love relax as I envisioned my father on the other side experiencing the pure positive love of All-That-Is.

From now on, all I will ever give to—or receive from—him is love.

The timing of my learning of my father’s death felt meaningful to me. Many of you may be experiencing significant grief and anger from the events that occurred on Friday. And certainly, women who struggle with their weight often carry the wounds of abuse.

So I’m sharing my story with you, not to make you feel like you need to find forgiveness, love, and peace today, but to let you know it’s worth striving for. It’s worth feeling the pain and moving through it. That you can let go of the hot coal, and that your life will be so much more wonderful than you ever imagined as a result.

Where people often get stuck is feeling like loving someone anyway is the same as condoning that awful behavior.

This is where it is helpful to remember that the Universe (God, Higher Power, All-That-Is–whatever works for you), is involved in that other person’s life, too, and that each of you is receiving guidance.Your job is to pay attention to your reactions and move towards the bigger part of you. Your guidance will always lead you to the best outcome for you.

Begin to notice when you are shutting your heart down. Pay attention to how uncomfortable that feels.Recognize that it’s up to you to change your reaction.

Where in your life are you withholding love? What can you do today to open that door in your heart just a little bit? Notice how much better that feels.

Together we can do it!

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My blog is moving to my new website LoveYourWaySlim.com. To keep following my posts after January 15, you will need to follow my new blog. I look forward to continuing the journey with you!

Take the Time to Transform Your Relationship With Your Body

Self LoveHave you ever been in a relationship with someone who was a “Taker?”

You went above and beyond giving your time, energy, support, maybe even gifts and money—and you never even got a thank you? 

You gave and gave and gave—and still, more was expected of you? 

If you know what I’m talking about, this may be challenging to hear.

You may be “the Taker” in your relationship with your body.

Because what you have going with your body is a relationship in every sense of the word. Your relationship with your body is the longest—and most important—of your life. There is no reconciling from that divorce!

Chances are you don’t appreciate your body and how hard it’s working on your behalf. And you’re probably actively dumping on it and criticizing it for not doing more.

You may constantly tell your body it’s:

  • Ugly
  • Too fat.
  • Too weak.
  • Too sluggish.
  • Too slow to heal.
  • That there’s something wrong with it.

You may constantly tell your body how much you hate it.

Plus, you may be giving it low-quality fuel, little to no water, and vacillate between too little movement and too much.

How long would a person stay healthy in a relationship like that? Is it any wonder your body begins showing up overweight, aching, and breaking down with illness?

The fact is, billions—if not trillions—of cells are giving their lives for your wellness and well-being right now.

Your body is literally giving you everything its got.

Without your having to think about it at all:

  • Your heart is beating in and out.
  • Blood is pumping through your veins.
  • Life-giving oxygen is flowing into your lungs.
  • Your brain is functioning well enough for you to read these words.
  • Nutrients and fluids are being processed in your digestive system.
  • Your bones are supporting every part of your body.
  • Your feet and legs are carrying you everywhere you want to go.
  • Your hands are helping you accomplish everything you want to do.
  • Your hips are supporting you as you sit and read this.
  • Your spine is holding you upright.
  • Your immune system is in overdrive working to heal everything from a scrape to disease.
  • You’re able to register some sensation, be it touch, taste, smell, sight, and hearing.
  • You can smile at someone you love.

How often do you stop and really appreciate everything your body is doing on your behalf?

How often is your only response to criticize it, give it food with little nutritional value, and to sit for long periods of time?

Just think about how healthy you are despite what you give—and what you say!—to your body.

I know. Because for 35 years, I was a “the Taker” in my relationship with my body.

When I finally “got” what I was doing to my body with my constant barrage of criticism, my binging on unhealthy food, and my sedentary lifestyle, I was blown away that it was still functioning as well as it was.

Our bodies are truly amazing and deserve our appreciation and praise, as well as generally supportive food and movement.

Stop being “the Taker” in the relationship with your body.

Begin to look for all the ways your body is supporting you, instead of focusing on all the ways it’s letting you down.

Become more aware of what you’re feeding it, and begin to choose more nourishing foods. Pay attention to how much you move it—is it enough or too much?

Your body will tell you what it needs if you will begin to listen. 

Trust that your body wants nothing more than to have a wonderful, loving relationship with you. Just imagine what it will give back to you when you give it the loving support it needs.

Together we can do it!

Design Your Future

 

My blog is moving to my new website LoveYourWaySlim.com. For the next month, I will post both here and there. To keep following my posts after January 15, you will need to follow my new blog. I look forward to continuing the journey with you!

Flip the Mental Switch to Get the Body You Want

lightbulbDo you focus more on what you like about your body, or what you don’t? What feels good about your body, or what doesn’t? What you want your body to look like, or all that’s wrong with it right now?

If you are like most people, you put the majority of your attention on what you don’t want.

This is being problem focused and it just gets you more of the problem.

While it is important to have a clear understanding of the problem, you then need to shift your attention to the solution—to what you do want.

You want to become solution focused.

Einstein Intuition and SolutionBeing solution focused is looking at the body you will have rather than what is, or was. It’s thinking about why you want a healthy body. It’s putting your attention on what’s working, what feels good, and all the reasons you can get the body you want, instead of all the reasons you can’t.

The reason for this lies in the underlying energy. Focusing on the problem creates negative catabolic energy, while focusing on the solution generates positive anabolic energy.

Just think about the feelings you have when you are standing in front of the mirror looking at what you don’t like about your body.

You may feel:

  • Disappointed in yourself.
  • Betrayed by your body.
  • Shame that you and your body aren’t perfect.

Those negative feelings generate catabolic energy that impacts your body down to the cellular level—actually making it easier to gain and harder to release weight. Feelings such as fear, distress, and anger are all catabolic.

When you’re in a catabolic emotional state, harmful chemicals and hormones and other physical reactions actually impacts your mind’s ability to think creatively, generate ideas, or even recognize solutions.

You literally need to release the problem and shift your focus to the solution, like flipping a switch from off to on.

The problem, however, is often so compelling and distressing, that you’re stuck thinking about how much you hate your body. It’s almost as if you’re afraid to take your eyes off of how bad your body is because it might get worse when you aren’t looking.

If you think about it in the context of the principle “Energy Attracts Like Energy” (also known as the Law of Attraction), you can see that focusing exclusively on what you hate about your body generates more things about your body to hate.

When you ignore catabolic emotions over a long time, your body begins to register the destructive internal processes as illness. Headaches, back pains, and other physical problems often begin to appear. We may associate these with stress, which is basically just an umbrella-term for all the catabolic physical processes generated by a variety of negative thoughts and emotions. When these thoughts and emotions continue to be left unchecked, those catabolic physical reactions can escalate to bigger problems, such as heart attacks.

Of course things like diet and exercise play a role, but there is scientific research that associates almost all aspects of wellness to stress.

And catabolic energy impacts your minds ability to literally see obvious wellness solutions.

By shifting your focus to the body you do want and why you want it, you then begin to allow yourself to see the path to getting it.

Now imagine standing in front of the mirror focusing on a part of your body you do like. Let’s say you’re appreciating your beautiful hair, the curve of your lips, your elegant nails, your shapely calves, or the new muscles developing in your thighs.

Think about the feelings you are having.

You may feel:

  • Confident
  • Attractive
  • Strong
  • Powerful
  • Sexy

Those positive feelings generate anabolic energy that helps your body rebuild and regenerate—and yes, makes it easier to release weight.

Begin to pay attention to where you focus more on the problem than the solution, and try to shift your perspective.

When you shift to more positive thinking, the solutions began to appear. A friend asks you to be an accountability partner, or you have the opportunity to ensure some healthy foods are on the menu, or you recognize that 10 minutes is long enough to jump on the treadmill or go for a walk around the block.

When you release catabolic energy and shift to a more anabolic state, you truly allow All-That-Is (God, the Universe, Source, Higher power—whatever works for you) to provide the solutions you could never create on you own—and often couldn’t even imagine.

You shift your level of consciousness.

How much do you focus on what you don’t like about your body? What can you do to shift your attention to the body you do want and why you want it? What difference does that make in how you feel, and the energy you have to get the body you want?

Together we can do it!

 

Are You Being Selfish if You Take Care of You?

christmas-meditatorAre you taking care of you?

Often women are reluctant to make caring for themselves a priority. This is particularly true during the holidays.

You may feel like there is just too much to do.

All the shopping, decorating, socializing, cooking, sending out holiday cards—the list goes on and on. Plus, you may be focused on creating a magical holiday experience for your kids and family.

You may feel that taking care of you is being selfish.

The Truth is that you have to take care of yourself first to have the stamina and energy to take care of others.

Ask yourself, “Are you the best partner, mom, daughter, friend you can be if you’re over-tired? How much harder is it to get everything on your to-do list done if you don’t feel physically well?”

A common response to the idea of establishing a routine of self-care that includes getting enough sleep, exercise, healthy foods, and quiet time for self-reflection or meditation is, “I don’t have time to do those things.”

The Truth is you don’t have time NOT to do them.

Making your self-care your highest priority—even if it’s only 15 minutes a day—will give you extra energy and vitality that will enable you to be the partner, mom, daughter, and friend you want to be.

And it helps you “do” more in the time you do have.

If you only have 10 to 15 minutes a day to take care of you, what should be highest priority?

If you can do just one thing, figure out how to move your body in some wayeven if it’s just 10 minutes a day.

Exercise is powerful medicine. The list of its benefits is long and incredible. Study after study shows that exercise plays an important role in promoting sound physical and mental-health, as well as emotional well-being  If the effects of exercise could be put in a pill, everyone would want to take it.

This doesn’t have to be a long, full-blown workout. Even going for a walk around the block makes a difference and provides stress relief. It could even be vigorous vacuuming! Get creative and count everything you do.

Other simple but powerful things you can do are:

  • Take 3 deep breaths. It sounds simple, but you’ll be amazed at the shift in energy it provides. And you can do this anytime, anywhere.
  • Meditate or sit quietly or take a bubble bath for 5 to 15 minutes. Quieting your mind for just a few minutes boosts physical energy, and also makes solutions easier to see.
  • Focus on appreciating not only the blessings in your life—but also of the people in your life. This is like blazing a mental trail for how you want your life and relationships to be.
  • Take a nap! Even 10 minutes can rev up your energy and help quiet the mental strain for the rest of the day.
  • Be picky about the treats you eat. Is it really calorie-worthy? Choose healthier foods or smaller portions—most of the time—and then really enjoy the treat you do eat.

These small actions boost your wellness and well-being—and your ability to be there for the people you love. 

Establish a simple and doable routine of self-care. Actually schedule it in your calendar and do your best to work everything else around it.

Make taking care of yourself your highest priority so you have the energy and vitality to take care of others.

Together we can do it!