Empower Yourself to Take Control

I caught myself mid-bite.

We had been out to dinner with fabulous friends and had gone back to their house to play Sequence, laugh, and have fun together.

And they had put out a lot of snacks. Cookies, candy bars, and bowls full of pretzels, dry roasted peanuts, and peanut M&M’s.

We’d already eaten a full meal and had shared a dessert at the restaurant.

As they put out the snacks, I joked with them that they were evil for providing such temptation. And then I continued to think that as I snacked away, along with thoughts like:

“I just can’t help myself.”

“If it’s in front of me, I will eat it.”

“I have no self-control.”

That’s when I realized I was in Victim Mode.

I was “at the effect of” the food. I was giving away my power and indulging in behavior that was not moving me towards my goals. And I was blaming it on my friends, the food, my weakness, etc., etc.

In reality, no one else was in my head. No one was lifting my hand and forcing me to put the food into my mouth. The food was certainly not having its way with me and forcing itself into my mouth.

The truth is no one and no-thing is making you—or me—eat anything.

Even when it feels like that cookie is moving towards your mouth against your will, it is still you doing it to you. Even if you are stressed out and are comforting yourself with food, it is still you putting the food in your mouth. Even when someone cooks a special treat and puts it in front of you, it is still you making the decision to eat it or not—based on putting someone else’s wellbeing ahead of your own.

You have the power to take back control.

Being aware of what you are doing is the first step. Recognizing that you have a choice is the second step. And making a conscious decision is the final step.

It doesn’t even matter what the decision is. The important thing is to Decide what you want and the best way to meet your needs and goals, and follow through by aligning your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

I had already eaten enough last night that it had become my free meal of the weekend. (I give myself a free meal—or sometimes a free day or weekend—so that I never feel deprived. That if I ever have a craving, I know that I will be able to enjoy it later.)

What I decided last night was to continue to nibble so I felt like a part of the fun, but to watch how much I ate and what I ate. After that, I ate a few pieces of pretzels, a couple of peanuts, and three peanut M&Ms. I declined the offered wine and stuck to sparkling water. I ignored the cookie that was dropped in the bowl in front of me. And fortunately we all ignored the candy bars.

By taking back control over my thoughts and empowering myself to make a decision and follow through with action, I felt good at the end of the night. And this morning I made a new decision to give my workout my all, and to plan a healthy choice from the menu tonight as we head out with other friends.

When you take full responsibility for the foods you eat, the exercise you do, and the thoughts you think, you truly begin creating the body—and life–you want.

Together we can do it!

Do You Believe That’s Possible?

On this day of your life, I believe God wants you to know that how bad things may look right now means nothing. It’s how good you know they can look with God’s help that counts.

Neale Donald Walsch

Are you focused on the problem or are you focused on expanding your belief and knowing that everything is always working out for you?

If you said, “Yes, but” or wanted to explain to me how things really aren’t working out for you, then you’re focused on the problem. And you are getting more of what you’re focused on.

Achieving anything first begins with the belief that it is possible. If you don’t believe it, how hard are you going to work? How much are you willing to try before you give up? How much will you sabotage your own efforts to prove yourself right?

One of the most famous examples of this is Thomas Edison. It would take him almost two years of failed attempts, new discoveries and prototypes before he would find success in creating the carbon filament light bulb.

After Edison’s seven-hundredth unsuccessful attempt, he was asked by a New York Times reporter, “How does it feel to have failed 700 times?”

He responded, “I have not failed 700 times. I have not failed once. I have succeeded in proving that those 700 ways will not work. When I have eliminated the ways that will not work, I will find the way that will work.” It is said he tried over 6,000 different carbonized plant fibers looking for a carbon filament for his light bulb.

Do you think he would have continued undaunted if he didn’t believe that he would ultimately find the solution that would work?

How can you begin stretching your beliefs to accept that wellness and wellbeing—or the essence of whatever it is that you want—are possible?

There are many, many ways, but here are a few:

  • Disregard what others have told you. Unless it is a Universal Truth, meaning it is true no matter who, no matter where, no matter how, then it does not have to be true for you.
  • Stop struggling. Relax and just accept that where you are is just where you are in the journey. Things are shifting and changing, even if you can’t see it.
  • Expect a different outcome. Just because you’ve tried something in the past doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try again. Analyze what didn’t work before and try again with the new information.
  • Have a little faith. Trust that All-That-Is (God, the Universe, Source Energy, Higher Coach—whatever works for you) not only has the power to make the planet rotate so perfectly that we can predict when the sun will rise and set and the pattern of stars across the night sky, but also can bring about the solution that is best for everyone involved.

What can you do to begin stretching your beliefs to accept that what you want is possible? What happens to your actions when you begin to believe and then know? How much more fun is the journey to where you want to go?

Together we can do it!

Photo from www.freedigitalphotos.net

Wellness Tip of the Day


Wellness Tip of the Day: To create optimal wellness and wellbeing begin stretching your beliefs to accept that it is possible.


We all know that stress has an impact on our health, relationships, and general wellbeing, but what is stress and what, if anything, can we do about it? As I’m headed out of town for the weekend, I wanted to share a recent blog that Leadership and Parent Coach Diane Dempster wrote for the Impact ADHD Parenting Community that shares some great information on what stress is, how it impacts us, and how to manage it.


The other day, while I was preparing the presentation for an upcoming event, I began to notice an interesting and familiar phenomenon. I started to get a little anxious! Before I knew it, I was over-thinking, over-trying and over-doing. Ultimately, I got to the last minute before my deadline and sti…

Look for the Opportunity

Experiences that show us what we don’t want are incredibly valuable for helping us learn about who we are and who we want to become.

And I had one of those experiences last night.

Every evening as we are getting ready for bed, my husband and I put out vitamins, supplements, and medications that we take morning and evening. While I may take something for allergies or headaches, most of what I take are vitamins and supplements to support my wellness. Because David has Rheumatoid Arthritis, he has some serious medications that he takes daily.

We had a busy evening last night, ate a late dinner, and I was a little flustered. Instead of being present and focused I was in my head thinking about things I needed to do and going over the events of the day. I was on auto-pilot when I took my pills.

When David reached for his, they were gone!

Opps! What did I just take?

Fortunately it was not his Methotrexate, but was a sleep aid, muscle relaxer, and pain pill. So I decided against calling the Poison Hotline, or running to the store for some expellant, and just went to bed.

While I would have assumed those medicines would have knocked me out, I had a difficult night and dragged myself out of bed late this morning feeling groggy, fuzzy headed, and slightly dizzy. Not how I like to start my day.

My first reaction was to start judging my intelligence for this error, but instead, I chose to look at the opportunity this experience is providing. And there are actually a lot of them.

It’s reminding me how important being present, aware, and mindful is because something I did in a split second could have had serious consequences. And who I want to be is someone who is present, mindful, and aware.

It’s reminding me to be grateful for my wellness and wellbeing. Who I want to be is someone who is experiencing optimal wellness and is thriving.

It’s helping me be flexible in planning out when I will get my workout in today, since I didn’t think getting on the treadmill feeling dizzy was wise this morning. Who I want to be is flexible and able to go with the flow.

It helped me evaluate the priority that writing my blog is. Instead of going back to bed to sleep this fuzzy feeling off, I chose to come in and write. I want to be someone who honors my priorities and goals.

And I know that getting up and getting my blog written will help lead me to having a better-feeling day. And I want to be someone who feels good, is productive, and enjoys what I am doing.

One of the foundation principles for life is that “There Are No Mistakes.” There are only different ways to experience life and remember who we are. Not being present in the moment and taking those pills was just a product of old thinking habits, and is giving me the opportunity to evaluate where I am, think anew, and further commit to who I want to be.

Every experience gives us valuable information about who we are and who we want to become. The next time you make a “mistake,” instead of directing energy to the past and beating yourself up, ask yourself, “What is the opportunity in this experience?” Use it to determine who you are and who you want to become.

Together we can do it!

Photo by YaiSirichai / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

On the Eve of the Year 2012

On the eve of the Year 2012, I wish for you much love, laughter, wellness, and wellbeing. May you be present to the adventure of right now, and delight in delving into each opportunity—even if others call them hardships, problems, or obstacles.

May you marvel at what you have and maintain your confidence in what you are becoming. My you tackle each endeavor with enthusiasm and eagerness—from washing dishes, to typing an email, to relaxing on vacation, to engaging in your truest passion.

May your mind be mostly engaged in reflecting on the good things that happen and all that you appreciate. And as you lay your head on your pillow each night, may you look forward to tomorrow with happy anticipation.

These things I also resolve for myself.

Happy New Year! May this be the year where you allow all your dreams to come true!

Together we can do it!


Photo by Felixco, Inc./freedigitalphotos.net


A Fabulous New View of Surgery

I had an energy shift yesterday. The situation didn’t change, and there was no specific thing that happened, or that anybody said or did. I can’t pinpoint the cause, or the exact moment the shift happened. It was an internal change—a change in my thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.

It was a sudden awareness that I wasn’t just focused on the all the reasons the hysterectomy I’m having next week is going to be beneficial, or my plan to rebound as quickly as possible, or even how much humor I can find in the situation. It was a feeling of genuine excitement about the opportunities this surgery is presenting not only for my physical wellbeing—but for me.

I am actually looking forward to the new situation, new sensations, new environment, and new people I am going to encounter—regardless of how pleasant or not I might judge them. My view of the surgery and hospital stay has shifted to an adventure rather than something I know I can endure for 24 hours. And there is an eagerness to see how determined I can be, how focused, and how well I can use the skills I’ve learned to aid my recovery. It almost feels like a game, or an experiment where I get to see what works best in the moment.

What was interesting was the limiting belief this new feeling made me aware of—that you’re not “supposed” to be excited about experiencing something as “bad” as surgery. It made me reluctant to want to share this new perspective. It brought up my fearful Gremlin, who pointed out that things can happen in even minor surgeries that can result in death, or that the benign fibroid tumors being removed could really be cancer.

Yep, that’s all true. And it doesn’t matter. My spiritual beliefs help me see death as a positive experience. (It’s the folks left behind that have the hard time.) And should there be something else that comes of this, I know I can handle it because everything is always working out for me.

This life we are living is a miracle. There is no guarantee that we have anything but this very moment in which to be present and alive, and to enjoy the incredible colors, sights, sounds, and textures all around us.

I’m not sure how long this new perspective will last. My energy around this may bounce up and down. But for now, I’m going to enjoy this space. I’m going to bask in how much this constructive anabolic energy is aiding every cell in my body. I’m going to think about all the new things I will experience and how much about life I can appreciate from this new vantage point. I’m going to revel in my knowing that well-being is the dominate basis of All-That-Is.

Should my energy drop back down to anxiety, I’m going to remind myself that I was here—and that I can be here again. That I can allow myself to feel this good about something that so many judge as “bad.” I’m going to look for as many ways to have fun as possible.

And I am going to be grateful for the miracle of this moment. This fleeting time and space that will never be again. It is a miracle that the sun comes up every day and that the rain falls from the sky. It is a miracle to be able to see how each moment is unique and utterly new—the clouds in the sky will never be the same again. The birds and animals will never be in the exact same place. The cars and people moving around in their day are in totally new perspectives and positions from one another. The people we see and talk too are different, and even the words that we say to the people who are most consistent in our lives will be different. This is truly a new day and it is a gift for which I am so grateful.

Every situation is an opportunity to learn, grow, and live life to the fullest. How good you allow yourself to feel is up to you.

Together we can do it!

Weird—and Wonderful—Ways to Work-In Wellness

Many people are so focused on the time that they don’t have for wellness that they miss all the small opportunities they do have to work physical and emotional wellness into their day. Taking advantage of these tiny moments can boost physical and mental energy, and generate a sense of well-being.

Here are some ideas for slipping in your wellness fix—just don’t worry about what some people may think. Isn’t your wellness more important than a few seconds of potential judgment from a stranger, friend, family member, or co-worker?

Minutes Matter

Do you ever stand there and wait for your lunch to heat up in the microwave, or that pot of water to boil, or cup of coffee or tea to brew?

Don’t just stand there! Even doing a few minutes of exercise can give you an energy boost. And those minutes add up. Do them throughout the day and before you know it, you’ve gotten in a 15 to 20 minute workout. Take that minute or two and do counter push ups, lunges, toe raises, and squats. You can also dance or march in place.

I only got caught once dancing in front of the microwave in my work break-room. At the time my co-worker thought I was a little weird, but she also noticed when I started losing weight.

You can do these and other exercises at work while on conference calls if you have a headset or speaker phone. Just do your push up off your desk. You can even throw in some planks. If you’re wearing a skirt or a dress, however, you might want to have an office door to shut!

A mini-stepper or pedal exerciser can fit under your desk and are also great to do while you’re on the phone.

House Work Aerobics

Have you ever worked up a sweat cleaning the house? You can make it even more aerobic by doing lunges while vacuuming, or each time you head up or down stairs, go up and down an extra time. You can do single shoulder presses with your bottle of cleaning solution as you walk from surface to surface.

Be creative—but safe—as you make your house sparkling clean.

More Wellness While You Wait

All the time we spend waiting in line adds up, so take advantage of it. Meditate, pray, or practice appreciation while in line at the grocery store.

What can you appreciate? How about the sheer abundance of food that we are blessed to choose from, or all those workers who keep the store clean, the shelves stocked, and those check-out lines moving? How about your favorite foods? There’s a lot to appreciate at the grocery store if we just take the time to look for it.

And if you are willing to look a little weird, you can also get in stretches, toe raises, or lunges while you wait.

You can also meditate while waiting for your doctor or mechanic. Feeling a little tired? Shut your eyes and rest for a few minutes as you wait.

Doing the dishes and other repetitive tasks are also a great time to clear you mind and tune in to your spiritual side.

Tube Time

How much time do you spend sitting and watching TV? How about taking each commercial break to get in a few sets of exercise? Keep some dumbbells, balance board, or other fitness gear nearby to make it easy. Or sit on a stability ball and build your core strength as you watch your favorite show. Why not throw in some crunches during the commercials?

Reconsider Lunch

Lunch is a great time to get in a workout, but you may not have time to hit the gym. What can you do?

Bring your workout gear, change clothes in the bathroom, and plug an exercise DVD into your computer. No time or place to change? Are there stairs in your building? See how many times you can go up and down them in the time you have.

Or strap on your walking shoes and head outside. Even a walk around the block can clear your mind and bump-up your productivity in the afternoon. Grab a co-worker to get in some social time, too.

Post Positive Messages

Wanting to shift your mindset, but no time to journal? Post affirmations, things you appreciate, and other positive messages on your computer screen, bathroom mirror, or above the kitchen sink. Every time you see them, remind yourself to take a moment to breathe and shift to a more positive thought.

What’s the Alarm?

Set the alarm on your cell phone or computer to remind you to drink water, eat a healthy snack, focus on an affirmation, take a moment to clear your mind, or do 10 jumping jacks.

When you start looking for time to work wellness into your day, you may be surprised at all the time you really do have.

I’d love to hear how you work wellness into your busy day.

Together we can do it!