Does This Blog Make Me Look Thin?

While off celebrating my 20th anniversary, I’m sharing a few of my favorite blogs that you might have missed.

Have you ever lost weight, but after you met your goal you still felt fat? When you looked in the mirror, all you saw were the flaws?

How quickly did you gain back the weight?

Our thoughts and feelings are much more powerful than most people understand. When you take into account the Foundation Principle that “Energy Attracts Like Energy,” also known as the Law of Attraction, you begin to understand that how you see yourself and where you put your focus can make a difference in how well you maintain your weight loss.

To truly be a lean, strong, and fit person, it’s incredibly helpful to see yourself as a lean, strong, and fit person—at least most of the time.

One of the reasons is that when you feel thin you begin to take on the behavioral characteristics of someone who is thin.

For instance, how much easier is it to resist those chocolate chip cookies if you are feeling confident and excited about being lean, strong, and fit versus seeing yourself as fat with no hope of ever having a beautiful body?

Most people see themselves through filters of self-criticism, limiting beliefs, assumptions about past experiences repeating themselves, and self-created interpretations about their lives.

Diet and exercise alone doesn’t alter those self-perceptions. Those changes have to come from the inside out.

Removing those negative, catabolic filters and shifting your self-perception so you can truly see yourself living the life you want takes time, energy, and practice, just as creating a healthy lifestyle takes time, energy, and practice.

When you practice both the internal and external changes you begin consciously creating the life of your dreams.

How can you practice feeling thin, along with healthy eating and moving your body? How much more effective is that at helping you lose weight–and keep it off?

Together we can do it!

Photo by Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Love Yourself to Health

While I’m away at coach training for a few days, I’m running a few of my favorite blogs that you may have missed.

Do you love your body? Do you love the food that you eat? Do you love the exercise that you’re doing, and the feeling of moving your body? Do you love to sweat?

What emotions did you feel when you read those questions? Did they bring up strong positive or negative reactions? Since our bodies and our lives are a reflection of our predominate thoughts, feelings, and beliefs, does your emotional reaction match the experience that you’re having with your body right now?

I used to hate my body and spent much of my time feeling horrible about how I looked. I hated exercise. I was a picky eater and I never appreciated or truly enjoyed what I was eating in the moment. Is it any wonder that I struggled with a weight problem my entire life and was a sickly kid? My body was emotionally and physically abused—by me!

It wasn’t until I truly understood that we are what we think, feel, and believe that I began to change my thoughts about my body. I started with gratitude, finally appreciating how hard my body was working for me despite how I fed it poor-quality food, didn’t move much, and was incredibly harsh in my criticism. It really was a miracle that my body was as healthy as it was.

I began to focus on consciously appreciating and enjoying the food I ate. I focused more on why I wanted to eat right and exercise than on all the reasons I didn’t. Over time, eating healthy food and exercising began to be something I enjoyed.

The more I began shifting my thoughts and feelings to what I wanted, the easier it became to do those things that would move me to towards who I wanted to be and the life I wanted to live.

Today, I love and appreciate my body. I love being strong, fit, and lean. I love being active. I love eating mostly healthy foods and how good I feel as a result. And I love to really get after a workout and sweat.

Pay attention to how you feel about your body, diet, exercise—really, your life. How much are you loving or hating it? How can you shift your thoughts and emotions towards feeling just a little bit better?

Do that, and it won’t be long until you are exactly where you want to be.

Together we can do it!

 

Photo by Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

Time for Self-Respect

While I’m away at coach training for a few days, I’m running a few of my favorite blogs that you may have missed.

An old boss of mine had a sign on his door that read, “The floggings will continue until morale improves.”

It was a joke, of course. But how often do we try to motivate ourselves with the whip of internal insults, slurs, and condemnations?

Does telling yourself that you’re “ugly, fat, stupid, and lazy,” really make you want to get up and do your workout, or forgo the potato chips?

If spoken aloud, many people’s internal dialogues might be deemed verbal abuse. Sometimes this abuse can go on practically nonstop, every day. What do you think this does to that person’s self-esteem and belief that they can achieve their goals?

Pushing through this line of thinking to create action takes incredible energy and strength, much like rolling a boulder up a hill. And while progress can be made, without changing our underlying thoughts, emotions, and beliefs, one moment of mental fatigue or flagging self-discipline may result in our watching that boulder roll back down the hill, and our not only regaining all the weight we lost, but then some.

Changing our thoughts, emotions, and beliefs about ourselves, what we want, and our ability to achieve it helps break us out of this cycle of self-punishment. It creates a boost of momentum that makes our push towards wellness a lot more fun and sustainable.

A general rule of thumb is, “If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, it’s not appropriate to say to yourself.”

Begin treating yourself with the respect you deserve. Focus on all the reasons you do want to move your body and eat healthy foods. Focus on all the things you are doing to move yourself forward. Speak to yourself with kindness and encouragement, and celebrate each small sign of progress.

By doing the internal work along with the external work, you can achieve the life of your dreams.

Together we can do it!

Photo by Suat Eman / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Look for the Solution

It used to be that when I had a problem, I talked to everyone about it. I hashed it and rehashed it, and asked everyone’s advice. What should I do?

Often, people would want me to do things that I really didn’t want to do, which created even more stress and struggle. Sometimes even making small decisions—like where to go to dinner—was laborious and emotionally draining. Typically when the time would come to make a decision, I still wouldn’t make one—which is in itself making a decision—and I would just let events and situations play out.

Talk about giving up all my personal power! It was a painful and unhappy way to live.

Part of the process of taking back my power was to stop talking about the problem. Talking about the problem can feel like we are looking for a solution, but truly it is just making that problem seem more stubborn and feel more insurmountable. You cannot see the solution while you are so intensely focused on the problem.

Shifting your focus to finding the solution takes energy away from the problem and opens your mind to possibilities that you would otherwise be blind to.

So how do you shift from focusing on the problem to focusing on the solution?

Being solution-focused is really being future-focused. You have to look away from “What was” and “What is,” and instead look towards “What will be,” and even more powerful, “How you would like it to be.”

Part of it is also trusting, believing, and knowing that there is always a solution to every problem. This is one of those Universal Truths that people don’t always believe because they are so problem-focused that they often miss the solutions, so they think there wasn’t one. Being solution-focused does take a certain amount of faith or confidence that the solution is there and that you will find it.

Taking responsibility for the choices and decisions you are making is another piece. For instance, if you want to reduce your weight, you have to take responsibility for the food you eat. While your eating can feel out of your control, it isn’t. No one else is forcing you to eat anything. Whether you are conscious of it or not, there is always a thought and emotion behind that action. Until you take responsibility for it, you give up your personal power.

And finally—and probably most challenging—is you have to stop looking outside of yourself for the answer. Sure you want to analyze data, understand the problem, and do your research, but people often get stuck in that analysis phase thinking the solution will magically appear. That’s still being focused on the problem. Once you have a good grip on it, turn your focus towards looking for the future-solution. This is when you want to stop asking other people for their opinions of what you should do.

Other people don’t know who you are, what your experiences have been, where you are on your path, and where you want to go. They know what they want and that is not the same thing.

This is where a coach is helpful. A well-trained coach is not going to give you advice, but instead is keenly aware that you have the answers for you, and helps you find them.

Your path is your path. No one else can walk it. When you take your focus off the problem and instead look for the solution, the absolute best step for you will become clear.

Together we can do it!

Photo by Evgeni Dinev / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Do What Feels Good

You have set the goal and intention to reduce your weight and improve your health so that you can be the best parent, partner, and person you can be.

What feels better—to get up and do the workout, or to stay in bed?

While you may assume that staying in the warm and comfy bed feels better—does it really? Can you honestly say you don’t’ feel discord, both in that moment and later when you get up? How do you feel about yourself throughout the day when you think about that missed workout?

How did you feel when you got up and did the workout anyway?

Now if you were truly at peace and it felt good to stay in bed, you probably needed the sleep. But if you listen to your heart, you can always feel if your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and actions are in alignment—even if you are taking an action that on the surface seems like it would feel way harder.

This is true whether you are reducing your weight, improving your life, or standing up for something that you believe in. Your emotions are your direction, gauge, guidance, indicator, litmus test letting you know if you are moving towards who you are meant to be, or are taking a detour.

My Mother taught me this from her example. In 1957, she was a student at Little Rock

My mother in the late 50s.

Central High School when it was first integrated by nine African-American students. She did what she felt was right. Simple things, liking sharing her desk and math text book with one of the incoming students on their first day. Smiling and offering encouragement throughout the year.

And for this, she was spat on, harassed, and sent threatening notes on almost a daily basis. The other white students made her last year of high school a living hell. And yet she did not waver.

To this day, I don’t think she feels better about anything else she has done in life. If anything, her regret is that she didn’t do more.

But clearly she did enough. During one of the anniversaries of the integration, Oprah Winfrey asked the Little Rock Nine, as the students came to be known, if any white students had helped. My mother was the only one they remembered. Oprah flew my mother out to her studios and reunited her with the student with whom she had shared her book, and he let her know how very important her smile across a room had been.

Doing what feels good, what feels right, what feels like it is in alignment with who you are, what you value, what you believe, and who you want to be may be damn hard. But the reward will always be absolutely worth it.

Doing what feels good does not necessarily mean doing what is easy. Nothing feels better than doing the work to meet your goals, or facing the challenge.

Together we can do it!

Photo by Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Accountability

Aside

Accountability for December 30, 2011

After falling into the cookies, on December 20, I committed to being accountable through the New Year to you Fabulous Readers about my diet and exercise as I recover from surgery.

 

Weighed this morning and I have maintained over the holidays, surgery, and recovery. Woo hoo! It’s clear I will meet my goals of maintaining my weight and feeling great on January 2.

In addition to 20 minutes of walk/jog intervals, I got in two short walks yesterday. Also ate well with the only splurges at dinner out with friends being half a cocktail, two bites of apple cobbler, and two peppermint hard candies. I’ll take it!

Today I will do a low-weight upper body workout and will get in at least one short walk. Tonight’s New Year’s celebration with friends will be my free meal for the week, and I will be back on track tomorrow with our area’s traditional New Year’s day meal of collard greens and black-eyed peas.

Thank you Fabulous Readers for helping me meet my post-surgery diet and exercise goals!

 

Are you making New Year’s Resolutions and have a goal on which you would like to be held accountable? Feel free to use the comment space on each of my accountability blogs, and I will cheer you on. Just let me know what your goal is, what you will be doing to meet it, and how often you will be reporting in.

 

Resolve to Feel Good

I’ve been reading a lot of blog posts about the importance of setting goals and resolutions for the New Year. All of them are right that focusing on new desires is important and gets the life-juices flowing.

But one of the reasons that New Year’s resolutions are often dead by February 1 is that unknowingly, people are focused more on not having the thing they so desperately want. They don’t have enough money, aren’t thin enough, aren’t fit enough, aren’t healthy enough, aren’t organized enough—what they want is missing from their lives and they will finally be happy when they meet their goal.

And even though they set the resolution to get out of debt, lose weight, get fit, healthy, or organized, the majority of their thoughts and energy are still focused on the fact that they lack whatever their resolution is focused on.

When you think about the foundation principle that Energy Attracts Like Energy (also known at the Law of Attraction), you can begin to see that thoughts are our mental capital to invest wherever we want, with the dividends being our future life-experiences.

For instance, when you invest the majority of your mental capital on the fact that you don’t have enough money, you are actually building the account that creates more life experiences without enough money. If you invest that mental capital in the belief that you have more than enough money to meet all of your needs, your account includes an increase in life experiences of having more than enough money.

It’s often difficult to recognize where you are investing your thoughts. It seems like if you are focused on money—regardless if it is lack or abundance of money—you should get more money. It can be incredibly frustrating and discouraging to think you are focused on more money only to continue to get lack of money. But your life experiences are always letting you know where you are investing most of your mental capital.

A good way to tell where you are investing your thoughts and energy is by paying attention to how you feel. Focusing on lack feels like yearning or even desperation. This is why wanting often gets a bad rap; people confuse wanting with yearning. A feeling of lack always feels bad.

Wanting is a feeling of confidence that you will get the thing you desire. It’s knowing the goal you have set is yours. It’s enjoying the thought of what you want and being thrilled as you watch the process of life shifting to help you achieve your goal. It’s feeling engaged and excited to do the things you can do to bring your request to fruition and letting go of what you can’t control with an absolute knowing that the Universe (God, All-That-Is, Higher Self—whatever works for you.) is happily engaging all of its incredible resources on your behalf.

But it can be hard to shift your focus from yearning for something to thriving in the process of life that will bring you to your goal. Often it is easier to move yourself forward by shifting your mental capital from the account of money (or whatever your goal is) and to instead invest it in more general life accounts, such as feeling good most of the time, loving and laughing more easily, and enjoying your life more.

You are still investing your mental capital where you would like to build your life experiences, but there is less risk that the investments aren’t going into the account you truly intend. You can tell if you are investing more wisely because you feel good.

If you want to make New Year’s resolutions, by all means do it. Just pay attention to how you feel, and think about diversifying you mental and energetic investments so that you get a better return. You can tell you are putting your mental capital where you want because you get the immediate bonus of feeling good and having more fun right now.

Together we can do it!

Photo by Grant Cochrane / FreeDigitalPhotos.net