Wellness Tip of the Day: You are not your mistakes. Who you are is intrinsically valuable and worthy of love. Allowing yourself to feel loved is key to wellness.
While I’m in Charleston, South Carolina, this week participating in and presenting at a couple of workshops, I thought I would share a few of my favorite blogs.
This one is from the fabulous Kristin Barton Cuthriell.
Today I will live with integrity.
Today I will reflect on what it is that I truly value.
Today I will make an effort to make my actions match my values and beliefs.
Today I will remind myself that living with integrity brings peace of mind.
Today I will not dwell on mistakes that I have made in the past, but I will acknowledge the lessons that I have learned.
Today I will open my eyes to the good things that surround me.
Today I will pause long enough to appreciate today.
- Suze Orman: How to Be Happy Every Day (everydayhealth.com)
- ‘You’re off to great places, today is your day. Your mountain is waiting, so get on your way.’ Dr Seuss #quote #inspiration #taolife (the1minuteblogger.wordpress.com)
- inspired by the rain. (belovelive.com)
- Today! (magicalportal.wordpress.com)
- One More (sociallyfitblog.wordpress.com)
- How to get the inspiration (speedupyoursuccess.net)
- Inspiration today (weheartfun.wordpress.com)
- Inspiration: All Is Well… (eof737.wordpress.com)
- 101 Most #Inspiring #Quotes of All Time (kymies3.wordpress.com)
- Inspirational Theme for the Day =) (livethelist.me)
Kristin Barton Cuthriell, M.Ed, MSW, LCSW
Kristin is a licensed psychotherapist and educator currently working in private practice, counseling individuals, couples, and families. She utilizes a hope based cognitive behavior approach to therapy and other empirically validated treatments to help individuals suffering from depression, anxiety, relationship issues, and difficult life transitions. Prior to entering the mental health field, Kristin spent a decade teaching first, third, and sixth grades. She received a BA in Education from Virginia Tech and went on to earn her Master’s in Education and her Master’s in Social Work. Kristin also enjoys speaking and writing and is currently working on a book designed to help people live more fulfilling lives.
You can read her blog at http://letlifeinpractices.com/
One of the things I love about stepping outside my comfort zone is that my shadow side may show up. That’s the part of me that is insecure, defensive, judgmental—you get the idea. It’s an amazing opportunity to practice showing up as authentically me—regardless of the people or situation.
The authentic me is loving and accepting. The authentic me sees my value—and the value in each person and situation. The authentic me knows that there are no mistakes and that the diversity of people and opinions is what makes the world go round. The authentic me knows that speaking my truth with ease and grace will be a gift to others, even if it doesn’t seem like it in the moment.
If I am acting out of anger, frustration, defensiveness, fear, judgment, or condemnation, I’m not being authentically me—and I have the opportunity to make a difference choice.
The onus is on me to stay connected to my Higher Self (God, All-That-Is, Universe, Source—whatever works for you) and to pay attention if I am coming from a place of love or a place of anger, a place of appreciation or a place of fear.
One way for you to stay authentic and maintain your connection to your Higher Self in relationships—particularly if you have a history of pushing each other’s buttons—is to actively focus on all the good qualities of the other person. To literally practice seeing them in the best light.
There are a couple of ways to do this.
Create a list of all the things about the other person that you appreciate, and read and add to it every day.
Practice a visualization. See yourself bathed in a golden light that feels like joy and love, and then expand that light to include other people. First extend the light to the people you love and get along with easily. As the light grows brighter and more powerful, expand it to include more challenging people.
You may think that it’s the other person who needs to change so that you all can get along, but you are contributing just as much to the difficult dynamics. It’s up to you to show up differently.
The only person you can control is you. Choose now how you want to show up. Practice showing up authentically.
And if you do react in a less than ideal way—as I guarantee that you sometimes will—the primary thing to do is forgive yourself. You don’t have to be perfect. Just pick yourself up and keep practicing being the best possible version of you so you show up more authentically the next time.
Together we can do it!
In yesterday’s blog, I wrote about what’s behind the desire to wave a wand and have all your excess weight magically disappear.
Today, I’m going to talk about some of the reasons it’s worth the weight—to share the true value in experiencing the step-by-step process of releasing your excess pounds.
Because believe it or not, there is value in every experience. What you are thinking and feeling is part of Who you are, and the process you will go through to release the weight once and for all is about your becoming more powerful and true to yourself and Who you want to be.
I know this from experience. My weight and negative self-perception was an issue for me almost my entire life. I began hating my body at a very early age. I focused almost exclusively on its flaws, and what was wrong with me.
My negative self-perception—and my resulting struggle with my weight—raged for more than 35 years. Those negative thoughts bled over into all areas of my life. I was often depressed. I shied away from taking leadership roles at work. I had a hard time making close friends. I didn’t feel sexy or attractive with my husband.
And my struggle with my weight wasn’t because I didn’t know what to do. I taught myself about nutrition and exercise, and several times I got into incredible shape. I ran—finishing one half-marathon and doing all the training for another. I lifted weights. Several times I got down to a size 6. I knew what to do.
Even though I would lose weight, emotionally I didn’t feel any differently. All those problems that I thought would magically be solved by being thinner were still there.
This was because I wasn’t making the changes on the inside. I wasn’t aligning with what I wanted and why I wanted it. I didn’t feel confident in being accepted as the true me, which goes a lot deeper than just how I look. What it boils down to is I didn’t feel lovable because I didn’t love myself.
Because I was making these changes through sheer willpower, it didn’t take much for me to fall back into the pattern of regaining not only the weight I had just lost, but then some.
What ultimately had to change was what was going on the inside. What had to change were my thoughts, emotions and beliefs about myself, what I was capable of, what I deserved.
So in addition to consistently moving my body and eating healthy foods, I began looking for inaccurate thinking and practicing new thoughts of appreciation, praise, and support for my body—and myself. And I began tying this process to my spiritual journey. Accepting the love of All-That-Is (God, the Universe, Source Energy, Higher Coach—whatever works for you) was the path that lead to loving myself.
Successfully making these internal changes helped me not only get down to where I am today—between a size 4 and 6—but to keep the weight off now for more than two years.
Not only do I feel vibrant and alive, and have more fulfilling relationships in all areas of my life, but more importantly, those same internal changes have given me the confidence and self-empowerment to go after the life of my dreams, and reach out to help many, many women feel lean and sexy on the inside so they can be lean and sexy on the outside.
The process of releasing your weight is so worth it because it is a journey of self-discovery. It is reconnecting with your true self. It is embracing your power to create the life of your dreams.
Today I am grateful for all the struggles and challenges, and yes, even pain that I experienced over all those years. Every moment of it helped me be Who I am today, and makes me uniquely able to relate to other women who are using the path of releasing their weight for self-discovery.
If you are in the midst of the pain, you may not be able to feel, hear, or believe this right now, but I promise you, the end result is so worth the weight.
Together we can do it!
Photo from www.freedigitalphotos.net
Wellness Tip of the Day: Being present and appreciating what you have in your life right now is the best way to see the value of what you already have.
Since I’ve had a couple of non-perfect moments recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about perfection.
In the past, I thought that if I were living the life of my dreams, I—and everything else—would be perfect. There will be no more problems, everyone would shape up and act as I thought they should, and life would be easy.
This vision seems particularly good when you are constantly getting steamrolled by life. It takes a heck of a lot of energy to fight the rapids, and just the thought of getting bashed up against one more rock can leave you feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.
For life to really get really good, however, what changes isn’t the path and intensity of the river; it’s learning to go with the flow of the current instead of fighting against it. It’s adopting new ways to use the oars so you’re prepared when a rock emerges. It’s finding the beauty and exhilaration of where you are on the trip, instead of focusing on the rocks you’ve already encountered, or the ones you’re afraid are ahead.
While perfection seems like it would be good on the surface, it is truly not what any of us want. If the purpose of life is to expand and grow, what would be the point of never being able to decide what you want more of? What would be the value of never having a new experience from which to gain a new perspective? Why would any of us want to strive to do and be more?
For me, one of the key elements of relaxing and enjoying the ride was taking a close look at my beliefs about the Universe (God, Source Energy, All-That-Is, Higher Coach—whatever works for you.)
“The most important question you’ll ever ask is whether the Universe is a friendly place.”
There was a time I absolutely believed that the Universe was an unfriendly place and that it was out to get me. I couldn’t seem to get a break. Life was unfair, and the world seemed hard and pretty bleak.
That’s a depressing and painful place from which to approach life.
This perspective began to change when I learned about the Foundation Principle that “Energy Attracts Like Energy,” also known as the Law of Attraction. As I began to understand what that actually meant for my life, my perspective slowly changed so that I could see that indeed the Universe is every person’s biggest ally. The more I took responsibility for my thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and actions, the more I began to see my life change. And still do!
Today I see the Universe as a very friendly place. And I embrace another Foundation Principle, “There Are No Mistakes,” which means that everything we see as a problem, obstacle, or challenge is really an opportunity that when embraced can help us be the person we most want to be.
Making those changes takes practice, dedication, and focus. It means letting go of the need to be perfect and for life to be perfect, and to begin embracing Who you are and the life you have created.
If you feel the need to be perfect or to have life be perfect, how is that impacting you? Is it generating positive anabolic energy, or negative catabolic energy? What can you do today to help you believe that you are living in a friendly Universe?
Together we can do it!
Photo by stock.xching
What do you see when you look in the mirror? What are your thoughts about yourself? How much praise is there compared to criticism?
Would you speak to someone else the way you speak to yourself? How would they feel if you did? What if you said those things to a child? Would it nourish them, or make them tremble?
Often, what we say to ourselves would get us arrested if we said them to a child. If it’s not OK to say to someone else, why is it OK to say to yourself?
One of my client’s biggest limiting beliefs—and one that I used to share—is believing that they are less than; less valuable, less important, less smart, less beautiful, less worthy, etc.
I wish that I had a mirror I could hold up so that you could see the Being that you truly are. To help you see that you have intrinsic value—no matter what you do or don’t do.
In this mirror you would see that you are as unique as a snow flake. There is not anyone else in the world that has had the exact same experiences as you, or who sees the world in exactly the same way. Your unique perspective adds value to this world. It is important to All-That-Is.
You are more powerful than you can even imagine. You have complete creative control over your life if you will just take it. All it requires is shifting your focus to where you want to go, knowing that it is an absolute fact that you will get there, and releasing control of how you arrive at that place. Simple, but not necessarily easy.
You are uniquely gifted. Your gifts add to this world the way an instrument adds to a symphony. Your instrument sounds beautiful all on its own, and adds to the whole when it is joined with others. Your instrument only sounds flat and out of tune when you are being less than you truly are.
You are resourceful and are much greater and wiser than you appear to be. Your solution to any problem is always there if you will but take your eyes off the problem long enough to look for it.
And you are loved more than you can possibly imagine. Not only by your families, but by people whose lives you have touched as no one else has, and by the Source of All-That-Is.
Allow yourself to begin seeing yourself this way. There are no reprimands or limitations in your mind other than the ones you shackle yourself with. No angry hordes will come after you with pitchforks for acknowledging that you are unique, powerful, gifted, resourceful, and loved.
In fact, that spark of good feeling, that sense of upliftment, that outright feeling of joy is letting you know that you are speaking the Truth about yourself—maybe for the first time.
This Truth can only come from the inside out. You cannot depend on anyone else to see or confirm it. But I see it. I know this is who you are. And when you allow yourself to see it, too, you will be empowered to live as who you are meant to be.
Together we can do it!