What’s the Gift in Not Being Where You Want to Be?

Have you ever noticed when your self-judgment is part of a bigger pattern?

You self-judgment could be about anything, but let’s just use weight as an example.

For instance, you overeat, beat yourself up, and then feel so bad you overeat again.

Or perhaps it’s getting on the scale every morning, and berating yourself because the number isn’t going down, or isn’t going down fast enough.

Perhaps it’s looking at yourself in the mirror and only seeing the flaws.

Perhaps it’s thinking that your body is somehow different from all the others on the planet and it’s impossible for you to lose weight.

Those underlying thought patterns have probably been going on a long time. How well have they gotten you to where you want to go?

What if breaking those patterns–and getting different results–begins with changing the underlying thoughts?

One way to do that is to pay attention to when self-judgment is surfacing and ask yourself, “What is the opportunity for me here?”

Perhaps the opportunity is to learn to better care for yourself so you have more to give to others.

Perhaps the opportunity is to figure out Who you really want to be, and to grow into being that person.

Perhaps the opportunity is to stop what you’re doing and make a different choice.

Perhaps the opportunity is to start valuing yourself, Who you are, and the gifts you have for others.

Perhaps the opportunity is to begin to accept the less-than-perfect aspects of yourself and to love yourself anyway.

Self-judgment is always a signal that there is an opportunity for you, if you stop the action, quiet your mind, and look for the answers deep within. It can be scary and hard to look, but when you do, you’ll find riches instead of persecution. You’ll find solutions, gifts, and a different perspective.

Every experience and part of you has value, even the ones you judge to be “bad” or “negative.” The key is to look for the value—the opportunities—to learn, grow, make different choices, and love Who you are now—and Who you are becoming.

What can you do to begin to ask yourself, “What’s the gift in not being where I want to be?” How can you begin to change those patterns? How do the results you are getting begin to change?

Together we can do it!

Photo from www.freedigitalphotos.net

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Let Go of Perfection

Opps! I completely forgot to do my ab workout yesterday. It wasn’t until I was writing down my workout this morning that I wondered where abs fit in. Right! I was supposed to do it yesterday.

The good news? I do not have to be perfect to meet my goals for the Transformation Mastery Challenge I’m doing. In fact, this provides me with the opportunity to overcome obstacles and persevere.

But it wasn’t too many years ago, that had I slipped up like this, I might have given up—either working out altogether or just blowing off the rest of my workouts for the week.

My thinking may have been along the lines of, “Well I messed this week up. I’ll just have to start fresh on Monday.”

I’m not alone in having had that “All or nothing,” thinking. This is one of those thought patterns that trips people up again and again.

Typical “All or nothing” thinking includes:

  • I have to do my diet perfectly, or I’ve failed.
  • I have to do my exercise perfectly, or there’s no point in continuing.
  • I have to see weight loss every day, or there’s no way I’m going to meet my goals.
  • I know I have something coming up this week where I won’t be perfect, so I might as well not even try.

When you bring this kind of thinking out into the light-of-day, it’s a little easier to see how invalid it is. But as long as you leave your thoughts unexamined, you may struggle and not understand what’s getting in your way.

You can challenge this kind of inaccurate thinking with questions like:

  • ‘What evidence is there that this thought might not be true?’
  • “What is the effect of my believing that thought and what could be the effect of changing my thinking?”

You can also begin to shift—almost retrain—your thoughts.

Here’s an example:

What would happen if you shifted your thinking after missing a workout to something like, “Wow, I totally missed that. It’s over and done, and I’ll get back on track with my work out tomorrow, and I won’t have any excuses for not giving it my all.”

You can also ask yourself, “What would someone else say about what I did or how successful I am?”

What I am doing is focusing on all the things I did “right,” which included getting in a fabulous back and chest workout yesterday and pounding my jump-training workout this morning. My nutrition was also spot on yesterday, and I’m focused on eating healthy again today. I’m still going to get two ab workouts in this week and I am going to use those workouts as an opportunity to focus and bring as much intensity to them as I can.

As Bill Phillips always says, “Progress not perfection.”

You do not have to be perfect to meet your goals. What can you do to begin seeing every challenge as an opportunity to overcome obstacles and persevere?

Together, we can do it!


Photo by Danilo Rizzuti / FreeDigitalPhotos.net