You Are Worthy of Optimal Wellness

Control Change

I’ve had encounters with two big stories from my past this weekend.

While I am thrilled at how my response has changed to these old experiences, my emotions have still been up and down. Frankly I’m feeling a little vulnerable.

Do you see that as a weakness?

I don’t. Surrendering to how things are unfolding, allowing myself to be vulnerable, fully feeling and acknowledging where I am, being extra committed to my self-care, and trusting that everything is always working out for me feels like the best way I can move through this experience AND stay connected to the foundation of love that only comes from my Higher Self.

Feeling—and exposing—this vulnerability reminded me of a TEDxHouston presentation by Brene’ Brown, who studies the human connection—our ability to empathize, belong, and love.

In this poignant, funny talk, Brown shares a deep insight from her research that expanded her personal perception and changed the way she lives, loves, works, and parents.

According to Brown’s research, connection is why we’re here. Connection is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. In order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be fully and truly seen. We have to allow ourselves to be vulnerable.

She says this is the most important thing she has learned in a decade of doing research. Vulnerability is opening ourselves up to shame, fear, and the struggle for worthiness, but it is also the birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging, and love.

And it is shame that is at the root of being unwilling to be vulnerable. Research defines shame as “the fear of disconnection.” It is that feeling that there is something about you and if other people see it, they won’t love and accept you.

The feeling of vulnerability is so painful, that people do everything they can to “numb” themselves.

Brown believes this is one reason we are the “most in debt, most obese, most addicted, and most medicated adult cohort in U.S. history.”

The problem is you cannot selectively numb emotion. If you numb fear, embarrassment, and shame then you also numb joy, gratitude, and happiness. That sets up a cycle where you just keep reaching for another doughnut.

When Brown interviewed what she termed “Whole-Hearted” people who were willing to be vulnerable, the common denominator was a sense of worthiness. Those people had a strong sense of being worthy of love and belonging.

What it all boils down to is believing you are worthy.

Other elements that “Whole-Hearted” people had in common were a sense of courage, meaning they tell the story of Who they are with their whole heart. They have the courage to be imperfect. They are willing to let go of who they should be and be Who they truly are. They fully embrace vulnerability, believing that’s what makes them beautiful.

And they have the compassion to be kind to themselves first. Brown notes that you cannot act with compassion towards others if don’t have compassion for yourself.

The great news is that I am proof that a belief in worthiness can be learned. You don’t have to be born with it. You don’t have to have a tribe of close relatives and flawless family relationships. You can grow up excruciatingly insecure, suffer through years of depression and anxiety, and be perpetually aware of your flaws and imperfections—and still come to realize that you are worthy of love and belonging.

For me, that sense of worthiness comes from my connection with All-That-Is (God, the Universe, Source Energy, Higher Coach—whatever works for you.) Somehow I “got” that no matter what I do, say, or how I show up in this life, or who else loves or doesn’t love me, I am loved beyond my ability to comprehend love.

And so are you!

So my message today is simple. You are loved. You are adored. You belong. No matter what, you are worthy.

What can you do today to show up as more of Who you really are? How does being honest about who you are—the good, the bad, and the ugly—help you connect with others? How does feeling worthy change how you want to care for your body—and yourself?

Together we can do it!

Tomorrow is my last blog here! To keep receiving my posts, follow my new blog, at LoveYourWaySlim.com. Thank you for all your support here at Goss Coaching. I so appreciate each of your fabulous readers. Blessings to you!

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Tap Into Your Inner Power to Get the Body You Want

Dumb Bells Working OutHow empowered do you feel right now?

One thing I’ve noticed is that women who are struggling with losing and regaining the same 30 pounds over and over again are often in victim mode.

This means you frequently feel that you are at the effect of outside circumstances that you believe are outside of your control. You feel powerless.

This can look like:

  • Feeling unappreciated by your boss and coming home and eating a pint of ice cream.
  • Being overwhelmed by everything you have on your to-do list, and falling into the chocolate.
  • Dreading the work project you are facing, and mindlessly eating an entire bag of chips.

Some element of life is coming at you, and you are coping by eating a food that will trigger a temporary hormonal reaction in your body that makes you feel better.

The problem is that once the physical reaction subsides, feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing take over, driving up negative chemical reactions in your body—and perpetuating unhealthy habits.

What’s happening here is your negative thoughts are generating catabolic energy that releases the stress hormone cortisol, adrenaline, and other chemicals that literally can cannibalize your body. Over time, this catabolic energy can cause everything from painful trigger points in your shoulders, to inflammation, to heart attacks.

It can even impact your metabolism and other weight-related systems making it easier to gain and harder to release weight.

Feeling energized, alive, and powerful creates positive anabolic energy that releases endorphins, testosterone, and body supporting hormones that help your body heal, rebuild, and flow with physical energy.

And yes, makes it easier to release excess weight.

One way to tap into positive anabolic energy is to consciously shift your thoughts and feelings about who you are, what you are capable of, and what you deserve.

Another way to feel more empowered is to move your body.

And it can be as simple as changing your posture for as little as two minutes!

In this fabulous TED talk, social psychologist Amy Cuddy shares that body language can affect not only how others see you, but also can change how you see yourself.

She says that “power posing”—standing in a posture of confidence, even when we don’t feel confident—for just two minutes can affect testosterone and cortisol levels in the brain improving your chances for success.

What this means is that our bodies can change our minds.

So if standing in a power pose for two minutes can have a profound impact on your body chemistry, imagine what happens when you lift weights for 30 minutes? Or run, or dance?

Everyone who has ever worked out consistently knows how awesome you feel afterwards. It is often that empowered feeling that keeps exercisers coming back for more.

You can tap into that feeling of empowerment before, during, and after your workout.

You can do that right now by thinking about how it feels after your workout, actually feeling empowered, or even power posing for two minutes.

How will this benefit you?

Cuddy shares that the minds of powerful people have common characteristics. She says that powerful and effective leaders are more assertive, confident, optimistic, win at games of chance, are better at thinking abstractly, and take more risks.

They also have more testosterone and less of the stress hormone cortisol.

In other words they have a lot of positive anabolic energy.

Our thoughts and feelings—and body movement—literally impact our wellness at the cellular level.

Before your workout, begin thinking about how energized, alive, and powerful you feel afterwards. And then use your thoughts, feelings—and body—to tap into that feeling of empowerment throughout the day.

Not only will this make doing your workout tomorrow easier, but it improves your success in all areas of your life.

Together we can do it!