Don’t Let Them Stop You

While I’m in Charleston, South Carolina, this week participating in and presenting a couple of workshops, I thought I would share a few of my favorite blogs.

This one is from the fabulous Kristin Barton Cuthriell.

“Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing. “


You have a purpose.

There is work to be done.

You can do it.

There is fun to be had.

You can have it.

There are people to love.

You can love them.

There are quiet moments to enjoy.

You can enjoy them.

There is love to be received.

You can receive it.

There is life worth experiencing.

You can experience it.

No matter what you do, there may always be someone out there who finds fault in you.

The truth is… we all have faults.

The truth is… we can always find a critic.

Are you going to allow those critics or the critic that lives within you to hold you back from living your best life?

Work hard, play hard, take time to rest, pray, and let life in.

When you live with integrity, you can ignore the critic.

Related articles

• Appreciation Is The Language of the Soul (

• The love you give is the love you receive. (

• The inner Critic (


Kristin Barton Cuthriell, M.Ed, MSW, LCSW

Kristin is a licensed psychotherapist and educator currently working in private practice, counseling individuals, couples, and families. She utilizes a hope based cognitive behavior approach to therapy and other empirically validated treatments to help individuals suffering from depression, anxiety, relationship issues, and difficult life transitions. Prior to entering the mental health field, Kristin spent a decade teaching first, third, and sixth grades. She received a BA in Education from Virginia Tech and went on to earn her Master’s in Education and her Master’s in Social Work. Kristin also enjoys speaking and writing and is currently working on a book designed to help people live more fulfilling lives.

You can read her blog at

What’s Your Purpose?

While attending a workshop in Sedona, Arizona, over the next few days, I am sharing a few of my favorite blogs that you may have missed.

“What is my purpose in life?”

I get that question a lot from clients. Inevitably, they’re searching for What they should be doing.

The more important question to ask yourself is, “Who are you?”

What are your core values? What makes you tick? What are your beliefs? Who do you want to show up as, and how closely are you showing up as that person? How are you connected to the All-That-Is (God, Source Energy, The Universe, Higher Coach–whatever belongs to you)?

When you have a clear picture of Who you are, you then find clarity in figuring out What your passions are and What you want to spend our time and energy on.

This is because your true purpose in life is to be the absolute best possible version of you!

There’s a reason that no one else on the planet has had the exact same experiences you’ve had, or sees the world in exactly the same way as you do. It is your diversity, not your sameness that makes you special.

The song that you sing on the planet and in the Universe is absolutely unique. Your tune is beautiful on its own, and adds to the greater symphony of life.

But it is only by allowing yourself to wholly produce your special melody that you are fulfilling your reason for being on this planet.

How can you shift your thoughts from What you should be doing, and start paying more attention to Who you really are? How can you start showing up as the bigger and brighter version of you? What difference do you think that would make in the world?

Together we can do it!

Connecting Spirit to Mind and Body

Mind Body SpiritWe’ve all heard of the mind, body, spirit, connection, but how much spiritual energy do you bring to your wellness goals? Do you make the connection between optimal wellness and your sense of life purpose and meaning?

For most people, the answer is not so much. Wellness, to many, is about diet and exercise.

This makes perfect sense, when you think about it. We can easily see the connection between doing physical things and the impact it has on our physical body. For example, the fewer calories you take in and the more calories you use typically results in a reduction in weight.

Only, for most people, it’s not that easy. There wouldn’t be millions spent on diets and workout gadgets if it were.

One of the reasons it is so challenging is that if people don’t feel a purpose in what they’re doing, or it’s not in some way connected to their values, they aren’t going to take much positive action. Without engaging spiritual energy, people may even take counter-action to sabotage themselves.

I’m sure no dieters out there can identify with having a hard time sticking to a food plan, or bingeing, or just plain giving up.

Tapping into your spiritual energy is about connecting what you are doing to create optimal wellness (diet and exercise) with Who you believe you are, and how your purpose, vision, goals, values, and desires affect it.

The more you integrate your inner beliefs and purpose with your actions, the more spiritual energy you will have to succeed.

One of the ways that I tap into spiritual energy is that I believe my body is a gift for which it is appropriate to be grateful. While it is mine to create as I wish—and every creation is beautiful—I believe that enabling my body to function optimally fully allows me to express my authentic best and be more fully Who I am meant to be.

After all, how well can you serve or take care of others if you have no physical energy to give? How well can you create the life of your dreams if you don’t feel physically well?

What personal values might you express or honor when you eat healthy foods and exercise? How do your beliefs and values about your body affect how you take care of it? How does your desire to make a contribution impact your choices? How might tapping into spiritual energy help you meet your wellness goals?

Together we can do it!

Photo by kongsky /

Wellness Tip of the Day


Wellness Tip of the Day: Align your wellness goals and spiritual beliefs. Finding a bigger purpose for eating healthy and moving your body will inspire action.

The Power of Vulnerability

The other day, someone I love shared with me that they thought I was making myself vulnerable by being so open about my shortcomings in my blog. Perhaps people would use it against me?

This perspective didn’t feel right to me. It feels important to be authentically me—even if other people see that as weakness. Allowing myself to be vulnerable and trusting that everything is always working out for me feels like the best way I can connect with you fabulous readers and share how to learn and grow anyway.

But it was a feeling. There was nothing concrete that I could point to.

How awesome that the next day, I received this TEDxHouston presentation by Brene’ Brown, who studies the human connection—our ability to empathize, belong, and love. In this poignant, funny talk, Brown shares a deep insight from her research that expanded her personal perception and changed the way she lives, loves, works, and parents.

According to Brown’s research, connection is why we’re here. Connection is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. In order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be fully and truly seen. We have to allow ourselves to be vulnerable.

She says this is the most important thing she has learned in a decade of doing research. Vulnerability is opening ourselves up to shame, fear, and the struggle for worthiness, but it is also the birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging, and love.

And it is shame that is at the root of being unwilling to be vulnerable. Research defines shame as “the fear of disconnection.” It is that feeling that there is something about you and if other people see it, they won’t love and accept you.

The feeling of vulnerability is so painful, that people do everything they can to “numb” themselves. Brown believes this is one reason we are the “most in debt, most obese, most addicted, and most medicated adult cohort in U.S. history.”

The problem is you cannot selectively numb emotion. If you numb fear, embarrassment, and shame then you also numb joy, gratitude, and happiness. That sets up a cycle where you just keep reaching for another doughnut.

When Brown interviewed what she termed “Whole-Hearted” people who were willing to be vulnerable, the common denominator was a sense of worthiness. Those people had a strong sense of being worthy of love and belonging.

What it all boils down to is believing you are worthy.

Other elements that “Whole-Hearted” people had in common were a sense of courage, meaning they tell the story of Who they are with their whole heart. They have the courage to be imperfect. They are willing to let go of who they should be and be Who they truly are. They fully embrace vulnerability, believing that’s what makes them beautiful.

And they have the compassion to be kind to themselves first. Brown notes that you cannot act with compassion towards others if don’t have compassion for yourself.

The great news is that I am proof that a belief in worthiness can be learned. You don’t have to be born with it. You don’t have to have a tribe of close relatives and flawless family relationships. You can grow up excruciatingly insecure, suffer through years of depression and anxiety, and be perpetually aware of your flaws and imperfections—and still come to realize that you are worthy of love and belonging.

For me, that sense of worthiness comes from my connection with All-That-Is (God, the Universe, Source Energy, Higher Coach—whatever works for you.) Somehow I “got” that no matter what I do, say, or how I show up in this life, I am loved beyond my ability to comprehend love.

And so are you!

So my message today is simple. You are loved. You are adored. You belong. No matter what, you are worthy.

What can you do today to show up as more of Who you really are? How does being honest about who you are—the good, the bad, and the ugly—help you connect with others? How does that help you find your purpose?

Together we can do it!

You Have Response-Ability

I’ve been struggling with writing an article all week. The more time I spend on that article, the further I fall behind on meeting my other deadlines, which results in a feeling of stress that zaps my energy and makes writing the article even harder.

How often do you get caught in this same kind of negative catabolic-energy spiral? Maybe what you want to accomplish is working out, but you’re too tired or busy and you miss it, and then you start beating yourself up, which makes getting in your next workout even harder. You can insert any task that you’re struggling with into this type of catabolic-energy loop.

It’s time to stop this crazy train!

What I know is that I have the response-ability for bringing my purpose, commitment, and spiritual connection into everything I do. So yesterday, I put aside the article for a bit and thought about how I want my sense of purpose to support me in this task. I also wrote out a list of all the reasons I love writing for a living.

Taking the time to shift my perspective helped generate a more positive anabolic outlook that allowed me to tap into and be supported by my spiritual beliefs and connection. Taking the time to do that helped bring me some clarity and focus, so that I was finally able to make some significant progress on the article, which I will finish this morning.

The task I was faced with didn’t change. What changed was how I felt about doing it.

It doesn’t matter if the task you’re facing is a mountain of laundry, a million-dollar deal, or being the best parent you can be to a rambunctious kid. Think about how you can bring your purpose, commitment, and spiritual connection into everything you do.

When you stop expecting the task or situation to change or go away, and instead use your response-ability to shift your energy, focus, and feelings, you begin showing up as the person you want to be.

Together we can do it!

Photo by Suat Eman /