Wellness Tip of the Day: What is the minimum you can do today that will make you feel like you are making progress? Focus on that. Count that. Celebrate that.
While I’m in Sedona, Arizona, attending a business mastermind retreat, I’ve asked a few fabulous coaches to step in with blogs. Today’s guest blog is by Denise Hedges. While Denise is a business development coach and marketing strategist, her insight on mindset absolutely applies to weight loss.
I’ve coached a lot of people, and the contrasts between them is striking, but nothing has more influence over how successful they’ll be and how rapidly they progress than one particular factor.
From this one aspect, I can tell if they’re going to proceed normally toward getting what they want … facing just the usual challenges of life and business … or they’re really going to struggle. What is that?
I can focus it and personalize it best by asking a question.
How much time and energy do you spend arguing for your limitations?
In other words, how much of the conversation you have with yourself in your head, not to mention with others, sounds like: I can’t do this … that’s impossible … nothing’s gonna work … it’s all too hard … I don’t deserve it?
Sound familiar? Well, that’s where the contrast occurs. Really successful, happy people don’t do this.
Look, most of us do at least a little bit of this on a bad day. I get that, but what I’m talking about here is a habitual, reflexive pattern of approaching life this way. Warning: It’s not a harmless indulgence. It’s toxic … to you and your dreams.
The quality of your internal communication matters more than anything, because it’s so absolutely fundamental. If it’s reflexively negative, not only can you not run at full speed, you can’t even really get out of the starting blocks, because you don’t really believe good things are possible for you. That’s a bad place to be.
And if you want to get out of that bad place and get on with the business of having what you want, that’s where you have to go to work first.
It can be a challenge for me as a coach, because most people want to get on with making plans and creating strategies, thinking that strategizing and taking action is what’s going to make them successful where they haven’t been successful before.
These things won’t help if the dialogue in your head is negative, resistant, and blocking. They’ll only help if the path of possibility is open.
And it doesn’t even have to be wide open. What matters is not so much that someone is blazingly optimistic or free of doubt or fear, it’s just that there’s an absence of the quicksand that is self-defeating self-talk.
Simply put, just don’t erect your own roadblocks and when you do encounter real ones, don’t amplify them, and you’ll be fine.
Now, please, please, please don’t think this is some kind of holier than thou message. Ha! Hardly. I grew up negative. If there were an Olympic event for embracing negativity to the fullest, my family would have taken the gold!
And don’t think that if you’re currently disposed to thinking this way that you’re doomed. It just means that before you can make serious progress toward your goals, you have to transform your mindset.
I’m here to testify that it can be done.
A year after my husband died, a friend who was truly concerned about me gave me a book by Louise Hay … You Can Heal Your Life. I read it and then read it again … every day, sometimes several times a day. I realized I had to reset my default state of mind. I took it on as a project, as if my life depended on it … because it did!
The key is consistency. You can’t just read a book once and be done. It’s about consistently taking in the message and internalizing it.
Two years later, I was talking with another good friend in my car and she volunteered out of the blue that I was “the most positive person she knew.” I almost drove off the road! Confirmation!
Do I still have to work at it? Yeah, each and every day.
Okay, so what do you do if you’ve identified yourself as a negative self-talker who argues for your limitations and you want to change the default state?
Here are some terrific books and CDs that’ll help:
Success in anything starts between your ears. The trick is to make sure what’s in there is empowering.
All the best,
Denise Hedges is a business development coach and marketing strategist with over 25 years experience in sales and marketing. As the co-founder of Business BreakThrough Institute, she’s created the world’s foremost attraction-based sales and marketing system. Denise specializes in working with women business owners, helping them move past any doubt or uncertainty about sales and marketing, attract more clients and customers, and make more money!
Denise is a Professional Certified Coach and a member of the Coach University Faculty, training personal and business coaches all over the world.
Check out her website at: http://www.BusinessBreakThroughInstitute.com
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Wellness Tip of the Day: You’re more powerful than your bathroom scale. It doesn’t reflect your true progress. Use it as a tool, not to weigh your value.
Wellness Tip of the Day: Change requires persistence, practice, and patience. Recognize that each step is progress on your journey.
It’s the mindset of, “I want to be a size 4 and I want it today.”
This impatience is really being focused on the fact that you don’t have what you want, which means you are fighting the forces of the Universe and will struggle to lose weight.
What does it really matter if it takes a little time to achieve your goal? It’s the pain factor, right?
It’s looking in the mirror everyday and suffering from body shame. It’s feeling deprived as you turn down that piece of chocolate cake while everybody else digs in. It’s dreading the dressing room and trying on 50 swimsuits to find one that you might be willing to wear in public. It’s the risk of having your partner see you as unsex-worthy because of your sagging stomach.
You want to just wave a magic wand and make it all go away.
These thoughts are all symptoms of what has caused you to gain weight in the first place. At their heart is the fear of judgment and a lack of self-love. This is why so many diets and exercise programs fail. For lasting results, you have to change your core thoughts and beliefs along with eating healthy foods and moving your body.
Here are three tips to let go of the thoughts that keep you from living lean.
- Focus on a body part you can appreciate. How often do you look in the mirror and criticize your stomach, butt, or thighs? When you catch yourself doing this, shift your attention to something you can compliment. Maybe it’s your hair, your ankles, or your fingernails. Just find something you can consistently shift your focus to and praise.
- Make peace with the process. You didn’t gain the weight overnight, and you won’t lose it overnight. Recognize that life is meant to be lived and this includes living the experience of losing weight. Choose an eating and exercise program that you actually enjoy and that gives you some flexibility.
- Celebrate your daily progress. Did you eat on plan today? Woo hoo! Did you choose an apple over pie? Awesome! Did you walk five minutes longer than the day before? Fabulous! Focus on all the things you are doing right and ignore the rest.
What can you do today to begin shifting from wanting immediate results to thrilling in moving towards your dream?
Together we can do it!
Wellness Tip of the Day: You didn’t gain the weight overnight, and you won’t lose it overnight. Choose a process that you will enjoy. Thrill in the daily progress.
Wellness Tip of the Weekend: What is the minimum you can do today that will make you feel like you are making progress? Focus on that. Count that. Celebrate that.