Take Care of You to Take Care of Others

15837s3rsga1hfaYesterday’s events in Connecticut may have left you reeling emotionally.

While it may feel selfish, now more than ever you need to focus on your own self-care.

This includes gently moving your body, getting enough rest, reaching for some highly nutritious foods, and taking some quiet time for meditation, prayer, or reflection.

And the number one thing you can do for your own wellness?

Ask for the support you need.

  • You may want to go it alone.
  • You may not feel comfortable asking for help.
  • You may be embarrassed by your emotions.

Much of holiday stress is feeling like you are in this alone.

And that’s a really tough, and painful road.

This is not the time to tough it out by yourself.

Study after study shows that having at least one person support you in meeting your wellness goals will dramatically increase your chances of success.

Having support helps you:

  • Normalize what you’re going through—You realize that everyone gets emotionally stressed, overwhelmed, overeats, and has moments of weakness. You are not a failure or a freak.
  • Notice and honor what you are doing for your self-care—Having someone to share the positive steps you are taking helps keep you motivated to take more steps.
  • Problem solve— You’ve got someone on your side who can see your situation more objectively and can help you brainstorm ways around any obstacles.
  • Re-find your inner peace—going it alone makes it easier to get caught in the negative thought spiral going on in your head. Having support helps break the inner patterns enabling you to refocus on the present and the blessings you have in your life.

Where can you find help?

  • Ask a friend or family member—Choose someone who is consistently positive, good at problem solving, and will be uplifting and inspiring.
  • Join a group—There are a number of on-line and in-person support groups. One such site is transformation.com. This incredible free community recognizes that emotions play a big role in wellness.
  • Hire a coach—Consider working one-on-one with a certified professional health or wellness coach who can help you stay focused on your self-care.
  • Go to a counselor–If your fear and grief are so intense that you are having trouble functioning, seek out the help of a professional counselor or therapist.

Taking care of yourself no matter what enables you to take care of others.

And if you have the inner resources to give, reach out to someone and offer unconditional support and encouragement—even love. The result is you both feel better—body, mind and spirit.

What can you do this weekend to reach out for—or give—support?

Having at least one person helping to cheer you on, boost morale, and problem solve will make it easier to take care of you, even in the face of really difficult circumstances.

Together we can do it!


My blog is moving to my new website LoveYourWaySlim.com. For the next month, I will post both here and there. To keep following my posts after January 15, you will need to follow my new blog. I look forward to continuing the journey with you!

Harry Potter and the Key to Happiness

While off celebrating my 20th anniversary, I’m sharing a few of my favorite blogs that you might have missed.

My husband, David, and I visiting the Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios in October 2010

I’m a huge fan of Harry Potter. There is a scene in the climax of the first book, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, where the three heroes climb through a trap door and land on a plant called Devil’s Snare.

The moment they land, the plant begins to twist around them without their noticing. As soon as she realizes what it is, Hermione admonishes Harry and Ron to, “stop moving.”

“The two boys fought to pull the plant off them, but the more they strained against it, the tighter and faster the plant wound around them.”


Much like Devil’s Snare, our thoughts can hold us fast in the very place we don’t want to be as we struggle and complain, try to control life, and push against what we don’t want.

It seems counter-intuitive, but the way forward is to relax and let go of the struggle.To accept where we are and to appreciate what we do have. The more we relax and appreciate, the more we allow Universal Energy (God, Source, All-That-Is, Higher Coach, whatever works for you) to bring us all the things we want and have asked for.

Letting go of the struggle, even for a few moments a day, can make a huge difference in our lives. Some ways to practice this is through meditation, prayer, and exercise that allows you to quiet your mind, such as yoga or even running.

What can you do today to practice letting go of the struggle? Not only will you immediately feel better, but you truly begin creating the life of your dreams.

Together we can do it!

Situations for Appreciation

Admittedly, I don’t watch a lot of television, and I watch even less sports on television. But thanks to social media, even I know something of Tim Tebow, the quarter back for the Denver Broncos who has been cheered and jeered for getting down on one knee and offering up a prayer of gratitude every time his team scores.

Last night, my husband had on a football game that I was ignoring as I read when all of a sudden the game had my full attention. Tebow and his teammates put a sudden end to their playoff game against Pittsburgh with an 11-second throw, catch, and run that accounted for the quickest overtime win in the National Football League’s history.

And I got to watch Tebowing—as Tebow’s prayer in the end-zone is now known—for myself.

Religious debate aside, it is brilliant on so many levels and has lessons for all of us to learn.

Focus On What You Want

If you consider that one of life’s foundation principles is that “Energy Attracts Like Energy,” also known as the Law of Attraction, what is more powerful than focusing your energy on what you want? And in Tebow’s case, what he wants is to score and win. By kneeling down and offering up a prayer of thanks every time his team scores, Tebow puts his energy—mind, body, and spirit—into what he wants.

It doesn’t get much better than that.

The Power of Gratitude and Appreciation

Our emotions are way more powerful than people often realize. They literally affect our bodies, minds, beliefs, and spirit.

If you are focused on negative, catabolic emotions, you are generating destructive chemical processes in the body that literally eat away at your cells. They generate thoughts of self-doubt, create negative expectations, and shut you off from who you truly are and the energetic support of All-That-Is (God, the Universe, Source, Higher Coach—whatever works for you).

Positive, anabolic emotions generate constructive chemical processes in the body that build and support your body. They generate self-confidence and belief in your abilities, open you up to becoming the best possible version of you, and help you tap into Universal Source Energy.

At the top of the vibrational list of anabolic emotions are love, joy, and appreciation. Imagine what you would create in your life if you looked at everything as a situation for appreciation.

Link Your Thoughts, Feelings, and Beliefs with Action

Apparently, Tebow is aligning his thoughts and beliefs about the importance of giving thanks to God for the good things that happen to him with the action of kneeling and prayer and playing the game and scoring.

As we see in Life Coaching, aligning your thoughts, feelings and beliefs with action truly transforms your ability to achieve outer goals with extraordinary and sustainable results.

Don’t Worry About What Other People Think

“It is better to follow the Voice inside and be at war with the whole world, than to follow the ways of the world and be at war with your deepest self.”

Michael Pastore

If Tebow begins paying attention to all the critics out there, he will no longer be focused on what he wants, be feeling gratitude and appreciation, and aligning his thoughts feelings, and beliefs with action. If that happens, you can bet his game will be off. It is only by doing what he believes to be right—and letting go of what anybody else says, thinks, or does—that he is stepping into his true Power.

Now I’m not saying that you need to start Tebowing, but I would suggest you use Tim Tebow as an example of the power of focusing on what you want, appreciating what you have, linking your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs with action, and letting go of what other people think.

How can you focus more on what you want? What can you use today as a situation for appreciation? How can you better align your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs with action? And how can you let go of what other people think?

Do this, and you will be creating amazing plays in your life, too.

Together we can do it!

Photo by markuso / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Thank You for All the Support!

I am doing amazingly well after having a full hysterectomy on Wednesday. Even the doctor’s and nurses commented on how well I was doing before they sent me home yesterday. Other than being very sore, I feel good. And the soreness is no worse than how I have felt after a really intense workout.

The doctor’s orders are to walk 4 times a day, and I have already completed my first 10 minutes on the treadmill, am showered, and feel like getting in a short blog. My big plans for the rest of the day include watching at least one Christmas movie, doing some light reading, and napping. Even though I’m feeling good, I don’t plan to overdo it.

While I think being in good physical shape before the surgery and positively focusing on wellness have a lot to do with my recovery, I also believe the incredible support I have gotten from family, friends, and my fabulous readers has made a huge difference.

Seriously, I have been blown away by the positive thoughts, prayers, and messages coming my way. Thank you all so much. I can’t tell you how much it has meant to me.

Not only is this positive support a boost mentally, but there have been studies showing the power of prayer and intent. (If you are curious, check out The Intention Experiment: Using Your Thoughts to Change Your Life and the World by Lynne McTaggart)

I have no doubt that the gifts you all have been giving me have made a huge difference to my wellness and wellbeing.

One of the things I’ve run into as a coach is that many people are really good at giving, but they have a hard time receiving.

How we receive gifts is a pretty good indication of how well we allow the Universe (God, Source, All-That-Is–whatever works for you) to work in our lives. If we won’t let others support us, we often are not letting the Universe support us, either.

Open your heart and mind to allowing yourself to receive the gifts that others want to give you. And then watch as other blessings flow into your life.

Together we can do it!