It used to be that I was so busy feeling unlovable that I couldn’t have named anything about myself that was special—much less have appreciated those characteristics.

What a painful place I existed in most of the time. In my heart I knew that I was supposed to be happy, but I kept thinking the world had to change and everything had to align perfectly before I could find happiness.

I am so grateful that I discovered that I held the key to happiness all along. That key was choosing to be happy now regardless of the circumstances. To let go of the expectation that anyone or anything had to change to make me happy. To begin appreciating my life as it was—and to begin looking at those things about myself that I could appreciate.

The more clearly I could visualize me at my best—the me I wanted to become—the more I was actually able to show up as that person. And the more I could stop beating myself up when I wasn’t the best version of me, the quicker I was able to return to that happier place.

The assignment for day 18 of my Gratitude Challenge is to write about all the things that make me lovable, and to appreciate my personal style, talents, and charm.

Interestingly, while I can do this pretty easily in the privacy of my own journal, sharing this publically is bringing out that old gremlin that feels like there’s something wrong with self-love—meaning that you fabulous readers might judge me for having a “big head” or being egotistical.

I love that I know that old fear is false and that this exercise is helping me expand and evolve as a person. Even if someone does judge me, I know that self-love is necessary to unconditionally love others, and that this is the path to creating the life of my dreams.

One of the things that makes me lovable is that I am loving. I strive to look for things to appreciate about other people—and tell them what makes them shine. I am self-aware enough that I typically know when I’m not showing up as the best possible me, and if I can’t shift in the moment, I will come back to it later and figure out how to shift that energy.

Maintaining my connection to Source (God, the Universe, Higher Coach—whatever works for you) is my primary intention. I am a good listener and am truly interested in what others have to say. My intuition is active and gives me great insights into what people aren’t saying.

When I find something really amusing, I cackle and snort, which usually makes me laugh even harder. I have simple, but elegant taste for how I dress and present myself. I’m a good writer, and I love it most when my words inspire someone else.

Beauty is important to me, and creating beautiful spaces and appreciating beautiful places, people, and things gives me delight. My core values include freedom, integrity, and joy. I have an awesome ability to see the connections in disparate-seeming information and experiences.

It is always my intention to be a vibrant and beneficial uplifter to myself and others. I am capable, confident, energetic, powerful, and engaged. I am becoming more and more flexible and am learning to more easily go with the flow. One of my greatest gifts is my unshakable knowing that wellbeing is the dominate basis of All-That-Is.

While it may seem odd–or even wrong–to sing your own praises, if you think about the fact that Source loves and adores you exactly as you are, than all you are doing is agreeing with All-That-Is. You are praising what your Higher Coach praises. By unconditionally loving yourself, you are opening your heart to unconditionally loving others.

Try it today. Let go of the need to be perfect or self-critical, and look for those things that make you lovable. Acknowledge how good it feels, and then share that love with another.

Together we can do it!