Tips for Changing Your Mental Habits

There is power in feeling good.

Think about how much you get done when you are excited, eager, and looking forward to something. Now think about how hard it is to make progress when you are dreading something, don’t want to do it, resent it, etc.

While you can move forward and get stuff done while you are feeling negative catabolic emotions, consciously shifting to positive anabolic thoughts before you begin a task is like putting on rocket boosters.

And not only is your power to get things done greater, but it’s easier and more fun.

Most of what makes day-to-day living “hard” are just your mental habits. You have  thoughts about how hard it is to get up and go to work that you have repeated for so long that you don’t even realize there’s another way to look at it. You have practiced dreading Mondays. You have developed a mental rut on many topics that are not serving you.

These are just some catabolic habits of thought you have going on. Thoughts are made of energy, not marble. They can be changed!

Why do you want to go to the trouble of creating positive, life-building anabolic mental habits, you might ask?

Because anabolic thoughts result in emotions that feel good. Those emotions make your heart sing. When you are feeling anabolic emotions, you know that things are always working out for you. When there’s a problem, you see the solution. You laugh more. You relax more. You are happy to be alive.

All you have to do is create some new mental habits.

And here’s a bonus. Creating anabolic mental habits makes creating healthy physical habits easier. So instead of hating to work out, you enjoy it. You love the taste of fresh vegetables. You easily make the decision to turn off the T.V. and go to bed so you will wake up rested and refreshed. It’s easy. It feels like the choice you want to make.

One way to create new mental habits is to tap into anabolic energy before you do something.

Here are some quick and easy ways to change the energy of your thinking and create new mental habits:

  • Take 3 to 10 deep breaths
  • Meditate, quiet your mind, pray, or center
  • Take a nap
  • Take a bath or hot shower
  • Read some inspiring quotes
  • Look at pictures of cute animals or things you love
  • Look out a window and focus on a tree, bird, or other bit of nature
  • Create a list of all the things you love or appreciate and read it
  • Journal
  • Light a candle and focus on the flickering flame for a few minutes
  • Count your blessings
  • Think of other explanations for the situation
  • Think about how you want to feel, or how something you are working towards will make you feel
  • Pet your dog or cat
  • Let yourself believe that a solution is possible

These are things to do before you do your workout, before you make that phone call, before you write that email, before you do anything–especially anything that you have developed a negative pattern of thought about.

Often people will use the excuse that they don’t have time to practice anabolic thinking. Truly, you don’t have time not to! By taking a few minutes on the front end to shift your energy, you will more than make up with ease and efficiency, and have fewer problems resulting from your catabolic approach to clean up.

And the more you practice anabolic thoughts and energy, the easier and more fun your life becomes. And the more anabolic mental habits you create.

What is one thing you can begin to do regularly to shift your mental habits? What difference does that make in creating the body—and life—of your dreams?

Together we can do it!

You Have the Keys to the Queendom

Here are the top 10 ways people give away their power:

1. Asking others what they should do.

2. Thinking God decides who gets what.

3. Worrying about how their dream will come true.

4. Thinking they have dues to pay.

5. Attaching to unimportant details and outcomes.

6. Believing in soul mates.

7. Thinking karma or spiritual contracts are absolute.

8. Fear of anything, especially falling in love.

9. Waiting for their ducks to line up before acting.

10. Choosing to be unhappy.

Understand the truth, little bird, and you will soar.


The Universe

To be happy or not is always a choice.



Do you think it’s hard to make changes on the inside?

Do you believe your life is somehow separate from your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs?

Do you feel that those negative internal patterns are stronger and more powerful than your desire to change?

These are all signs that you are not being the leader of your body and life.

It’s time to step into your role as the alpha female of you. It’s time to accept your power. You are hereby granted sole proprietorship of your inner Queendom.

The key is deciding–deciding to take responsibility, deciding if it’s going to be hard or easy, deciding to be steadfast and persistent in your internal leadership role.

The internal changes may not be instantaneous, but little-by-little, decision-by-decision, moment-by-moment, each time you focus on what you want, who you want to be, and how you want to live your life and then make the decision to reach for that regardless of the fear or negative self-talk, you will be changing your interior landscape to one that will support and celebrate your self-leadership.

It is only when you take responsibility for and control over your daily thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that lead to your actions that your inner landscape changes. You do have power over your subconscious, your thoughts, and feelings–but you have to step into the leadership role.

How willing are you to be the leader of your own life? How willing and committed are you to take the consistent action needed? Only you have the answers for you. How hard or easy it will be ultimately depends on what you decide.

Together we can do it!

Take Back Control

I wasn’t the best possible version of myself last week. Suffice it to say that my being physically and mentally tired is a prime opportunity for me to take my Gremlin’s trash-talk seriously. By Saturday, my inner-two-year-old was in full control and I literally threw a temper-tantrum. (Sorry about that Honey!)

The good news is I knew it was time to take back control. Not only did I get plenty of rest over the weekend, but I spent a good part of yesterday meditating and reconnecting with my Higher Self.

If I was a computer, it would have been the equivalent of rebooting.

One of the insights I had was that I had slipped into looking outside myself for confirmation of my progress and success.

This is exactly how so many of us get in our own way of creating the life of our dreams.

The only true barometer of success is how you feel.

Positive anabolic emotion is your notice confirming that you are inviting the Universe (God, Source Energy, All-That-Is, Higher Coach—whatever works for you) to work miracles on your behalf.

You only have to look to your body for physical evidence of the power of this energy. Anabolic energy generates positive chemical processes that literally rebuilds cells and generates cell-to-cell communication that facilitates healing and optimal health.

Negative catabolic emotion is your shut-off notice. It’s the message from the Ultimate Power Source that you have cut off service. It’s your declaration that you are going to go it alone.

Catabolic energy generates stress hormones that literally attack and destroy your cells and immune system. Chronic catabolic energy can lead to heart-disease and stroke, and other serious illness.

Most of us are so conditioned to catabolic emotions that we’re not even aware that what we’re focused on is generating negative emotion. If we were—and truly understood what it was doing to our body, minds, and spirit—we would shift our focus pronto. But we’ve gotten used to it. It feels normal. As a result, we’re confused when our bodies start screaming at us to change our focus and we take an aspirin instead.

And it can be easy to fall back into those patterns. I was doing it last week. When my Gremlin started telling me I wasn’t good enough, instead of thanking it for it’s input and sticking to what I know is true, I started focusing on what’s missing from my life and what I was doing “wrong.” I was beating myself up for things that are outside of my control, which made it that much harder to move forward on the things that I can control, and I got caught up in that negative spiral that just feeds on itself.

This is why being focused on your goals is tricky. If you are focused on them with confidence and knowing that your success is already a done-deal, get out of the way! You’re leveraging the power of All-That-Is on your behalf. But most of us focus on our goals and notice that we don’t have them, yet, and that they’re hard to achieve. We spend a lot of time looking for signs that we’re making progress, only to get frustrated and discouraged when they don’t come fast enough.

If you stop and notice how those two perspective’s feel you can detect the anabolic and catabolic energy. Being in catabolic energy doesn’t mean you won’t meet your goals, but it means you’re picking the much harder road, and the journey will take a significant toll on your body, mind, and spirit.

So we can meet our goals and consistently feel good and supported, or we can meet our goals and consistently feel tired and frustrated, and like the Universe is out to get us.

I don’t know about you, but I choose to feel good!

Together we can do it!

Photo by markuso /

Look for the Solution

It used to be that when I had a problem, I talked to everyone about it. I hashed it and rehashed it, and asked everyone’s advice. What should I do?

Often, people would want me to do things that I really didn’t want to do, which created even more stress and struggle. Sometimes even making small decisions—like where to go to dinner—was laborious and emotionally draining. Typically when the time would come to make a decision, I still wouldn’t make one—which is in itself making a decision—and I would just let events and situations play out.

Talk about giving up all my personal power! It was a painful and unhappy way to live.

Part of the process of taking back my power was to stop talking about the problem. Talking about the problem can feel like we are looking for a solution, but truly it is just making that problem seem more stubborn and feel more insurmountable. You cannot see the solution while you are so intensely focused on the problem.

Shifting your focus to finding the solution takes energy away from the problem and opens your mind to possibilities that you would otherwise be blind to.

So how do you shift from focusing on the problem to focusing on the solution?

Being solution-focused is really being future-focused. You have to look away from “What was” and “What is,” and instead look towards “What will be,” and even more powerful, “How you would like it to be.”

Part of it is also trusting, believing, and knowing that there is always a solution to every problem. This is one of those Universal Truths that people don’t always believe because they are so problem-focused that they often miss the solutions, so they think there wasn’t one. Being solution-focused does take a certain amount of faith or confidence that the solution is there and that you will find it.

Taking responsibility for the choices and decisions you are making is another piece. For instance, if you want to reduce your weight, you have to take responsibility for the food you eat. While your eating can feel out of your control, it isn’t. No one else is forcing you to eat anything. Whether you are conscious of it or not, there is always a thought and emotion behind that action. Until you take responsibility for it, you give up your personal power.

And finally—and probably most challenging—is you have to stop looking outside of yourself for the answer. Sure you want to analyze data, understand the problem, and do your research, but people often get stuck in that analysis phase thinking the solution will magically appear. That’s still being focused on the problem. Once you have a good grip on it, turn your focus towards looking for the future-solution. This is when you want to stop asking other people for their opinions of what you should do.

Other people don’t know who you are, what your experiences have been, where you are on your path, and where you want to go. They know what they want and that is not the same thing.

This is where a coach is helpful. A well-trained coach is not going to give you advice, but instead is keenly aware that you have the answers for you, and helps you find them.

Your path is your path. No one else can walk it. When you take your focus off the problem and instead look for the solution, the absolute best step for you will become clear.

Together we can do it!

Photo by Evgeni Dinev /

Empowerment is Shifting How You See Yourself

What do you see when you look in the mirror? What are your thoughts about yourself? How much praise is there compared to criticism?

Would you speak to someone else the way you speak to yourself? How would they feel if you did? What if you said those things to a child? Would it nourish them, or make them tremble?

Often, what we say to ourselves would get us arrested if we said them to a child. If it’s not OK to say to someone else, why is it OK to say to yourself?

One of my client’s biggest limiting beliefs—and one that I used to share—is believing that they are less than; less valuable, less important, less smart, less beautiful, less worthy, etc.

I wish that I had a mirror I could hold up so that you could see the Being that you truly are. To help you see that you have intrinsic value—no matter what you do or don’t do.

In this mirror you would see that you are as unique as a snow flake. There is not anyone else in the world that has had the exact same experiences as you, or who sees the world in exactly the same way. Your unique perspective adds value to this world. It is important to All-That-Is.

You are more powerful than you can even imagine. You have complete creative control over your life if you will just take it. All it requires is shifting your focus to where you want to go, knowing that it is an absolute fact that you will get there, and releasing control of how you arrive at that place. Simple, but not necessarily easy.

You are uniquely gifted. Your gifts add to this world the way an instrument adds to a symphony. Your instrument sounds beautiful all on its own, and adds to the whole when it is joined with others. Your instrument only sounds flat and out of tune when you are being less than you truly are.

You are resourceful and are much greater and wiser than you appear to be. Your solution to any problem is always there if you will but take your eyes off the problem long enough to look for it.

And you are loved more than you can possibly imagine. Not only by your families, but by people whose lives you have touched as no one else has, and by the Source of All-That-Is.

Allow yourself to begin seeing yourself this way. There are no reprimands or limitations in your mind other than the ones you shackle yourself with. No angry hordes will come after you with pitchforks for acknowledging that you are unique, powerful, gifted, resourceful, and loved.

In fact, that spark of good feeling, that sense of upliftment, that outright feeling of joy is letting you know that you are speaking the Truth about yourself—maybe for the first time.

This Truth can only come from the inside out. You cannot depend on anyone else to see or confirm it. But I see it. I know this is who you are. And when you allow yourself to see it, too, you will be empowered to live as who you are meant to be.

Together we can do it!

Photo by luigi diamanti /