It’s All Fun

I have a lot on my to-do list today as we are hosting dinner for friends this evening.

In the past, my default setting has been to get stressed. To get so focused on all that I had to do that not only did I become harsh with myself, but I was sharp and unpleasant to the very people who were helping with the preparations. (Sorry about that honey!)

I’m getting much better at steadily moving ahead to achieve realistic goals with ease and grace. I’m seeing the power of focusing on being gentle and kind in my thoughts and words–to myself and others–and eeking out every ounce of pleasure that can be found in each moment, from the preparations to the time with friends (and dogs as this will be a gathering of all of our Keeshond companions, as well.)

Buffy (left) and Willow are relaxed and eager to spend tonight with three other Keeshonden and a Pomeranian–as well as their respective humans.

People often feel like they don’t have time to be mindful and relaxed when faced with a deadline.

But why does feeling horrible automatically equate with being more productive?

What I’m finding is that moving forward deliberately instead of rushing, and focusing on how I want to feel in the moment—rather than just defaulting to how I have just always reacted—certainly does not take away from my productivity. It actually seems to help me accomplish more than I planned.

Even if how much I get done is the same, it sure feels a heck of a lot better!

So tell your inner task master to ease up. Put the incredible power of your attention on what you are doing in the moment—and enjoy the heck out of that. Find and feel the confidence that everything that needs to get done, will.

And then see how much fun you can have throughout the process of getting all the preparatory work done. The fun doesn’t have to begin the moment your friend’s push the doorbell. The fun you have getting ready also makes the time you have with friends that much richer.

What can you do to practice being gentle with yourself, moving with ease and grace, and softening your thoughts and words? How does that help you achieve your goals? How much better does that feel?

Together we can do it!

Photo by Hansje Gold-Krueck

Isn’t Life Delicious?

DELICIOUS adj \di-ˈli-shəs\

1: affording great pleasure : delightful

2: appealing to one of the bodily senses especially of taste or smell

Merriam-Webster

Why do you eat?

For very few people is it just to give their bodies the vital nutrients they need to sustain life.

For women who struggle with their weight, eating is often their primary source of pleasure, comfort, satisfaction, and even experience of love.

This is why diets cause such feelings of deprivation.

Who wants to live a life void of pleasurable feelings? Certainly not me!

And you don’t have to!

All that’s happened is that over time—and for a variety of valid reasons—you have shut yourself off from sources of satisfaction, comfort, and love because they have also been sources of pain, dissatisfaction, and loneliness.

The lover who broke your heart, the friend who betrayed you, the parent or boss who tried to control you sent you to the one obvious and consistent source of comfort—food.

It was a totally normal reaction. Food is delicious. It’s pleasurable, satisfying, and comforting. And it’s easy.

But it’s also betrayed you.

It’s caused you to gain weight. It’s negatively impacted your health. It’s momentary comfort is completely outweighed by the overwhelming feelings of guilt and self-loathing that it now causes.

It’s no longer giving you what you were seeking in the first place—those pleasurable feelings.

It’s time to begin looking for these feelings in the only place they will be given consistently. From the only place you can truly count on them being there 100 percent of the time, no matter what you do, say, or be. Where you know you are absolutely loved and adored.

The Source of pleasure, satisfaction, comfort, nourishment, and love is All-That-Is (God, the Universe, Higher Coach—whatever works for you). And your thoughts are what help you tune into these feelings—or not.

No one else is “making” you feel anything. It was not your boyfriend who made you feel unworthy—it was because you believed him.

Thoughts of your unworthiness feel so bad because they are not true. In the eyes of All-That-Is, you are utterly and completely perfect.

But because you have taken the word of a lot of people with limited perspectives over the knowing of All-That-Is, you have pretty well convinced yourself that you are unworthy. You may even have a strong negative reaction to the very idea that you are perfect.

Remember the infant “You” that was in your mother’s arms? Would you judge the infant “You” as anything other than perfect? Would you ever have been “bad” if someone else who had been told they were “bad” hadn’t perpetuated the inaccurate assessment?

Most of what was judged “bad” by others was simply eagerness, exuberance, and joy that was seen as inappropriate by someone who you believed knew better than you.

When your thoughts about yourself are in agreement with what All-That-Is knows about you, your heart sings. You love life. You love other people. You want to give generously. You want to receive all the gifts that life is offering.

Life is delicious, not just food.

At first, changing your thinking feels like walking out on a lake that has frozen over in winter. You aren’t sure how stable and solid the ice is. You don’t trust if it will really support you.

You begin by tentatively sticking a toe out and testing the strength of the ice. If that holds, you then add the weight of your whole foot, and slowly, you venture out further and further until you know that the ice is so strong, you could drive a car out on to it. Once you know how solid and stable it is, you then frolic freely.

So start with thoughts that are the equivalent of tapping your toe to test the ice.

Gratitude is a great place to start. Begin being grateful for the small things in your life that are stable and solid, such as your pillow as you go to sleep, the comfort of a hot shower, the feel of a soft shirt on your skin.

As you practice those thoughts and get more comfortable, begin to look for and savor life experiences that give you pleasure, comfort, satisfaction, and love. Fill up on those experiences instead of food.

For me, having a client experience an “a-ha” moment is absolutely delicious. I feel satisfied when I wake up with a kitty snuggled and purring in the crook of my arm. I savor moments of laughter with my husband. I am nourished by the wind blowing through the leaves as I walk in nature. I feel comfort in quiet moments with friends and family.

Life is juicy and delicious. How can you begin to look for and feel for each and every luscious moment? How does your finding more satisfaction in life change your need to seek comfort from food?

Together we can do it!