Wellness Tip of the Day: Nobody’s journey looks the same, or follows the same path. How you do it will be as unique as you are. Only compare yourself to you.
Nobody experiences or sees the world exactly the way that you do. Because every moment of life is new and ever-changing, all of the individual perspectives in the world are constantly changing and being shaped. The person you are in this moment will be slightly different in the next as you take in these words and the environment around you.
Not only are you influenced by outside experiences, but in this moment you can also consciously choose your perspective, thought, and reaction.
The uniqueness of each individual and their journey is one of my favorite things to ponder. But what does it really mean for our day-to-day lives?
One of the things it can do is help you recognize and accept your innate value. You have value because your experiences and how you see the world are slightly different from anyone else on the planet. You add to the greater whole.
But that’s still pretty esoteric. What does it really mean?
It means that you matter. It means that the greatest gift you can give the world is to be the absolute best possible version of you.
So often, people get caught up in their lives and doing and caring for others that they forget Who they are. They don’t take time to think about what makes them tick? What are their values? What do they enjoy? What’s important to them? How do they want to spend their time? Who do they want to spend time with?
Instead of consciously choosing your path, you may be buffeted along in the hubbub of day-to-day life until you wake up one day and realize you don’t like where you are and that you no longer know the answers to those questions. It’s typically not a pleasant day.
You can also lose sight of Who you are by constantly comparing yourself to other people. If gazing over at someone else’s experience is inspiring, that’s great! Keep doing it. But more often than not, people use the life of another to judge or criticize themselves, their contributions and progress, and their value. You are never going to be able to authentically live another’s life, and trying to do so never feels good.
Other than being somewhat unpleasant, neither of these paths is “bad” or “wrong.” They will still help you create the irreplaceable you, and ultimately taking the scenic route can be very fulfilling.
It’s just that focusing on being the best possible version of you throughout your journey can be a lot more fun and robust. It like catching a wave and riding it into shore versus paddling the whole way.
What does being the best possible version of you mean? Who is that person? What small step can you take today towards being that person?
Together we can do it!
Wellness Tip of the Day: Nobody’s journey looks the same, or follows the same path. How you do it will be as unique as you are.
Wellness Tip of the Weekend: Nobody’s journey looks the same, or follows the same path. How you do it will be as unique as you are. Only compare yourself to you.
It used to be that when I had a problem, I talked to everyone about it. I hashed it and rehashed it, and asked everyone’s advice. What should I do?
Often, people would want me to do things that I really didn’t want to do, which created even more stress and struggle. Sometimes even making small decisions—like where to go to dinner—was laborious and emotionally draining. Typically when the time would come to make a decision, I still wouldn’t make one—which is in itself making a decision—and I would just let events and situations play out.
Talk about giving up all my personal power! It was a painful and unhappy way to live.
Part of the process of taking back my power was to stop talking about the problem. Talking about the problem can feel like we are looking for a solution, but truly it is just making that problem seem more stubborn and feel more insurmountable. You cannot see the solution while you are so intensely focused on the problem.
Shifting your focus to finding the solution takes energy away from the problem and opens your mind to possibilities that you would otherwise be blind to.
So how do you shift from focusing on the problem to focusing on the solution?
Being solution-focused is really being future-focused. You have to look away from “What was” and “What is,” and instead look towards “What will be,” and even more powerful, “How you would like it to be.”
Part of it is also trusting, believing, and knowing that there is always a solution to every problem. This is one of those Universal Truths that people don’t always believe because they are so problem-focused that they often miss the solutions, so they think there wasn’t one. Being solution-focused does take a certain amount of faith or confidence that the solution is there and that you will find it.
Taking responsibility for the choices and decisions you are making is another piece. For instance, if you want to reduce your weight, you have to take responsibility for the food you eat. While your eating can feel out of your control, it isn’t. No one else is forcing you to eat anything. Whether you are conscious of it or not, there is always a thought and emotion behind that action. Until you take responsibility for it, you give up your personal power.
And finally—and probably most challenging—is you have to stop looking outside of yourself for the answer. Sure you want to analyze data, understand the problem, and do your research, but people often get stuck in that analysis phase thinking the solution will magically appear. That’s still being focused on the problem. Once you have a good grip on it, turn your focus towards looking for the future-solution. This is when you want to stop asking other people for their opinions of what you should do.
This is where a coach is helpful. A well-trained coach is not going to give you advice, but instead is keenly aware that you have the answers for you, and helps you find them.
Your path is your path. No one else can walk it. When you take your focus off the problem and instead look for the solution, the absolute best step for you will become clear.
Together we can do it!
Photo by Evgeni Dinev / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Our thoughts are often our worst enemies. We hear the negative messages offered up by our inner critic and we accept them as true. And we feel bad.
Stop yourself right there!
Engage your logical side and ask yourself, “How true is this?” Chances are those flimsy arguments offered up by your inner Gremlin will begin to cave-in and collapse. Search through this mental rubble with the bright light of Truth—those Universal Truths that are true no matter what—and you will discover the issue the Gremlin was trying to lead you away from.
Now you can choose a different—better feeling—thought that creates an entirely new path.
I was surprised to encounter my Gremlin during the night Saturday. My first tipoff was negative emotion—which always means negative underlying thoughts.
What I was feeling was . . . guilty! There was also lazy. Where were these emotions coming from?
My recovery from a full hysterectomy on Wednesday is going so well that I’m having to sit on myself not to do too much. (Do you know how hard it is not to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk? And I’m going to have to do this for four to six weeks?!)
My Gremlin was speaking up because I feel good enough to help out around the house more, but I’m not. There’s also part of me that feels like if I do too well I won’t have the “excuse” to be lazy and I’ll have to do more than I want, which was swinging me back to guilt.
Geez! The nonsense we can put ourselves through. Fortunately I know this is not the voice of reason speaking, so I’m thanking my Gremlin for its input, but am disregarding its message.
The Universal Truth here is it’s OK to slow down, relax, and let my body heal.
I’m trying to remind myself that the bruises on my stomach are a pretty good indication that healing is going on. And wouldn’t I rather heal while I’m feeling good then have to be in pain?
I’ve talked to my husband about it and asked him to remind me of when I need to rest (he reminded me before he left for work this morning not to take the dogs for a walk, which I was absolutely planning to do), but I’ve also asked him to encourage me to do more when that seems reasonable. (He let me know that I didn’t even have a toe on the side of not doing enough.)
My follow-up appointment with the doctor is next week and I am hopeful that I will be doing so well that I can get early release to get back to my usual activities.
So my new thoughts are to celebrate that I feel good, and to allow myself to relax and take it easy. That’s what this time that I’m taking off is for. I am having a wonderful recovery, and by taking some time now, I will be back to my full activities more quickly. All is well and everything is unfolding just as it should.
This new mantra gives me a feeling of well-being—and that good feeling lets me know I’m on the right track.
When you catch yourself feeling a negative emotion, use that as a cue to look at your thinking. If you think it’s your Gremlin talking, reason your way through its messages looking for Truth. Then choose a new better-feeling thought that moves you forward.
Together we can do it!