Take Care of You to Take Care of Others

15837s3rsga1hfaYesterday’s events in Connecticut may have left you reeling emotionally.

While it may feel selfish, now more than ever you need to focus on your own self-care.

This includes gently moving your body, getting enough rest, reaching for some highly nutritious foods, and taking some quiet time for meditation, prayer, or reflection.

And the number one thing you can do for your own wellness?

Ask for the support you need.

  • You may want to go it alone.
  • You may not feel comfortable asking for help.
  • You may be embarrassed by your emotions.

Much of holiday stress is feeling like you are in this alone.

And that’s a really tough, and painful road.

This is not the time to tough it out by yourself.

Study after study shows that having at least one person support you in meeting your wellness goals will dramatically increase your chances of success.

Having support helps you:

  • Normalize what you’re going through—You realize that everyone gets emotionally stressed, overwhelmed, overeats, and has moments of weakness. You are not a failure or a freak.
  • Notice and honor what you are doing for your self-care—Having someone to share the positive steps you are taking helps keep you motivated to take more steps.
  • Problem solve— You’ve got someone on your side who can see your situation more objectively and can help you brainstorm ways around any obstacles.
  • Re-find your inner peace—going it alone makes it easier to get caught in the negative thought spiral going on in your head. Having support helps break the inner patterns enabling you to refocus on the present and the blessings you have in your life.

Where can you find help?

  • Ask a friend or family member—Choose someone who is consistently positive, good at problem solving, and will be uplifting and inspiring.
  • Join a group—There are a number of on-line and in-person support groups. One such site is transformation.com. This incredible free community recognizes that emotions play a big role in wellness.
  • Hire a coach—Consider working one-on-one with a certified professional health or wellness coach who can help you stay focused on your self-care.
  • Go to a counselor–If your fear and grief are so intense that you are having trouble functioning, seek out the help of a professional counselor or therapist.

Taking care of yourself no matter what enables you to take care of others.

And if you have the inner resources to give, reach out to someone and offer unconditional support and encouragement—even love. The result is you both feel better—body, mind and spirit.

What can you do this weekend to reach out for—or give—support?

Having at least one person helping to cheer you on, boost morale, and problem solve will make it easier to take care of you, even in the face of really difficult circumstances.

Together we can do it!

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My blog is moving to my new website LoveYourWaySlim.com. For the next month, I will post both here and there. To keep following my posts after January 15, you will need to follow my new blog. I look forward to continuing the journey with you!

Five Tips for Practicing Appreciation

If all you did was just look for things to appreciate you would live a joyous, spectacular life. If there was nothing else that you ever came to understand other than just look for things to appreciate, it’s the only tool you would ever need to predominantly hook you up with who you really are. That’s all you’d need.

Abraham-Hicks

 

I’ve had a number of clients recently who wanted to start meditating, but didn’t know where to begin.

They know they want the benefits of clearing their mind, tapping into positive anabolic energy that benefits their bodies down to the cellular level, and connecting with All-That-Is (God, the Universe, Source, Higher Coach—whatever works for you). But they struggle with their thoughts, finding the time, and having a peaceful moment to call their own.

  • What if you could get all the benefits of meditation, but you could practice it anywhere?
  • What if you could get so good at it that you could do it standing in line at the grocery store, waiting for your dentist appointment or cable repairman, taking a shower, or traveling on an airplane?
  • What if practicing it could literally help you create the body you want?

This miraculous tool? Practicing appreciation

While many people think that gratitude and appreciation are the same thing, appreciation is actually higher on the positive anabolic energy scale. 

This is because gratitude often is still linked to the problem.

For instance, you might be grateful for a really difficult week because it taught you that you could deal with challenging emotions. While that’s an awesome way to begin shifting the negative catabolic energy and emotions you have been experiencing towards a more positive anabolic state, it’s still tied to the negative event or situation.

As I have heard Abraham-Hicks describe it, appreciation is different in that it focuses purely on what you want, what is good, what is working, what is beautiful, what is loved, what makes life vibrant and something that you want to enjoy.

For instance, you may purely appreciate your pets, the clouds that will never look the same in the sky, the abundant sunshine on this beautiful day, easy access to an abundance of clean water, and just the fact that you are alive.

Practicing appreciation generates positive anabolic energy that builds your immune system, and supports your heart and muscles. And it significantly impacts your metabolism and other weight-related systems making it easier to release weight. 

Here are five tips for practicing appreciation.

  • Start small and build from there. Perhaps all you can think of to appreciate is the cup of coffee that you’re drinking. As you take a moment to focus on that, you may realize that you appreciate coffee because of the energy it gives you, the comforting routine of having it every morning, the interaction you have with the staff at the coffee shop, the warmth it gives you on a cold day, etc. Before you know it, you have generated a pretty lengthy list of appreciation.
  • Do it in bed. (This may not be what you think!) Some of the best times to practice appreciation are just before you go to sleep and just after you wake up. This is a great way to set the energy for the day.
  • Make lists. One of the best ways to begin practicing appreciation is to literally write lists of things you appreciate. This can be once a day, or throughout the day. I have one client who keeps her list of appreciation on her phone. Not only does she review it during her daily commute, but she adds to it every time she has a flash of appreciation. Another client has her phone set to chime at a certain time to remind her to focus on appreciation.
  • Use downtime. Anytime you’re waiting is a great time to practice appreciation. And typically, there are lots of things to appreciate during those times if you just stop to look. For instance, just think about all the glorious food at the grocery store! Look around at the abundance of fresh fruits and vegetables, the rows and rows of food to choose from, even your favorite Greek yogurt in the dairy section. A great exercise while waiting in the checkout line is to mentally walk through the store appreciating your favorite foods.
  • Make it a game. What could you possibly appreciate sitting in traffic? Make it a game to try. It could be that you have a heater on cold days, the opportunity to listen to your favorite music, that it’s a good time to people watch. Who knows what you might find to appreciate if you look for it in odd places.

As you practice, look for changes in your body—and life.

  • Is it easier to say “No” to that extra piece of pie?
  • Did you have the energy—and the desire—to move your body?
  • Are you less stressed when you get to work?
  • Did you refrain from yelling at your kids when they seemed to be dragging their feet?
  • Did you let go of what someone says that in the past you might have taken as a slight?
  • Are you quicker to cut the checkout person a little slack?

All of that is helping you create optimal wellness.

Today and every day, reflect on the good things that happen and all that you appreciate. Then look forward to tomorrow with anticipation.

Together we can do it!

 

My Secret to Extreme Exercise Commitment

I had lots of excuses I could have used to skip my workout this morning.

My folks are in town and our guest-suite encompasses my usual workout area. We have a full schedule with more family visits planned. I have stayed up past my usual bedtime most of this week, and there is work to get done before I can fully relax and enjoy the weekend.

But I was committed and I woke up at 3:30 a.m. and did a 30 minute meditation before getting up at 4 to get my hour-and-a-half workout underway by 4:30 a.m.

My guess is that many of you think that is just plain crazy.

So I asked myself, “Why am I so committed to getting my workout in?”

There are definitely things that contribute—I’ve set a physical and time-focused goal that I want to meet, I want to be an authentic example of striving for optimal wellness for all you fabulous readers and my clients, and in all honesty, I want to maintain and improve how I look.

But the true reason that makes my eyes flutter open at 3:30 a.m. without the aid of an alarm clock and gets my bum out of a very warm and appealing bed is the anabolic physical energy I get from moving my body, which impacts every single area of my life.

Feeling physically well has not been something I’ve been able to take for granted since I was about 10 or 11 years old. I was a sickly and sensitive kid that suffered from food allergies, and later chronic back problems and migraines.

Truly this was a gift in disguise as it forced me beginning in my early 20s to begin learning to pay attention to my body and the role and responsibility that I had in creating wellness. In the quest to feel better, I learned about nutrition and exercise, but the challenge was not in learning what to do, it was in the doing.

Typically, out of sheer willpower and often desperation, I would make what felt like austere changes long enough to start feeling better—and then I would slip back into the old, more comfortable patterns, only to start the cycle all over again.

The most obvious symptom of this was that my weight regularly vacillated 20 to 40 pounds.

Why wasn’t I able to make the changes stick?

Because in order to create the physical energy that enables me to do and be the best possible version of me, I had to shift my emotional energy—my thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about Who I was, what I was capable of, and what I deserved. I had to tap into my spiritual energy—my sense of purpose and the meaning of my life.

But ironically, I also needed the physical energy to effectively tap into the emotional and spiritual energy. While I had worked on the different elements separately, it wasn’t until I brought them all together that I began to see true changes in my body, mind, and spirit.

For me, it is my physical energy that has the greatest impact on what I can accomplish in my day, how I show up in the world, my ability to respond instead of react, to see the big picture and let go of the outcome, to have absolute faith and confidence that everything is always working out for me—and you.

When my body gets out of balance and my physical energy slips, so does everything else. Physical energy truly is the foundation of my life. My commitment to healthy eating, moving my body, and rest impacts everything.

What can you do to look at the affect physical energy has on your life? What is one small change that you could make that would boost how you physically feel? How does feeling better impact your ability to be the best possible version of you?

Together we can do it!

Photo by graur razvan ionut / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Harry Potter and the Key to Happiness

While off celebrating my 20th anniversary, I’m sharing a few of my favorite blogs that you might have missed.

My husband, David, and I visiting the Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios in October 2010

I’m a huge fan of Harry Potter. There is a scene in the climax of the first book, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, where the three heroes climb through a trap door and land on a plant called Devil’s Snare.

The moment they land, the plant begins to twist around them without their noticing. As soon as she realizes what it is, Hermione admonishes Harry and Ron to, “stop moving.”

“The two boys fought to pull the plant off them, but the more they strained against it, the tighter and faster the plant wound around them.”

 

Much like Devil’s Snare, our thoughts can hold us fast in the very place we don’t want to be as we struggle and complain, try to control life, and push against what we don’t want.

It seems counter-intuitive, but the way forward is to relax and let go of the struggle.To accept where we are and to appreciate what we do have. The more we relax and appreciate, the more we allow Universal Energy (God, Source, All-That-Is, Higher Coach, whatever works for you) to bring us all the things we want and have asked for.

Letting go of the struggle, even for a few moments a day, can make a huge difference in our lives. Some ways to practice this is through meditation, prayer, and exercise that allows you to quiet your mind, such as yoga or even running.

What can you do today to practice letting go of the struggle? Not only will you immediately feel better, but you truly begin creating the life of your dreams.

Together we can do it!