The Missing Piece for Lasting Weight Loss

 

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

-Albert Einstein

 

If you are like most women who have lost and regained the same 30 pounds over and over again, you know how to diet. You may even have the exercise piece down.

But even if you are able to consistently eat healthy foods and move your body, you still continue to struggle to maintain your weight.

Clearly, diet and exercise alone are not getting you the results you want.

What is the missing piece?

What is it that you need to do differently to get different results?

The answer almost seems too simple.

You may want to ignore it or even discount it. But it is truly what is holding you back from having the body—and life—you want.

What has to change is what is going on inside. What has to change are your thoughts, emotions, and beliefs about yourself, what you are capable of, what you deserve.

Ultimately what it boils down to is that you have to work through your fear.

Every feeling is either a derivative of love or fear. What has happened over time is that you have emotionally caged yourself in with fear.

Fear of being judged by others, letting people down, not being good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, making mistakes, not being loved or lovable—the list goes on and on.

It may have gotten bad enough that when something really good does happen in your life, you can feel a part of you holding back from fully enjoying the experience. You may have thoughts like, “Something bad might happen,” “It won’t last,” or “They’re going to find out I’m a fraud.”

What’s actually happening here is that you are so afraid of experiencing pain that you are in reality holding yourself in it—and refusing to let yourself fully experience joy.

And the biggest fear of all?

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Marianne Williamson

The good news is you can begin right now to let go of fear and embrace love–to embrace the magnificent you that is afraid to let her light shine.

Here is a simple exercise to practice love. I would suggest doing this just before going to sleep, but it can be done any place you can sit quietly, relax, and focus.

To begin, bring to mind something that you totally and completely love. This may be your spouse or partner, pets, children, etc. Sit a moment and envision them totally enveloped in love. Get creative here. See them in a warm golden light, a big hug, or whatever feels like being embraced by the biggest expression of love you can imagine.

Then bring someone or something else that you love into the picture. As you stay in that feeling of love, start to include more and more people and things—and even places—that you love. Eventually you want to work up to having the entire planet embraced in your vision of love.

Here’s an example:

I envision my husband being surrounded by a warm, golden light that is pure love. That light expands to include our pets, our families, and our friends. It spreads to include our home and everything in it. It expands to include my job and all the people I work with. It grows and encircles our town, and all the places where I have ever lived. It expands to cover the states where I have lived, and spreads to the whole country. It then moves around the world embracing everyone and everything. It encompasses the planet itself and everyone and everything is enriched and enhanced by this feeling of love.

You can make the exercise last a long time, or just a few minutes. Practice this daily and watch for examples of more love coming into your life.

The more love you allow yourself to feel, the more healthy actions you are inspired to take, and the more your body begins to respond down to the cellular level.

You begin to naturally want an apple more than you want cookies. You begin to find the fun in your workout. Eating healthy foods, moving your body—and maintaining your weight—becomes a way of life.

What can you do today to transform a thought of fear to a feeling of love?

Together we can do it!

 

 

Where Are You Playing Small?

I was having lunch yesterday with business coach Mandy Wildman when she asked me a question about one of my business practices. When I explained it, she very nicely let me know that not only was I playing small, but I was allowing my clients to play small, too.

Mandy was absolutely right. Even though my intention was to be of service to the most people, the reasoning behind it was a limiting belief.

This is why even coaches need coaches!

And it brought to mind this quote by Marianne Williamson:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

The challenge becomes recognizing when we are playing small.

As I clearly demonstrate, playing small can hide in the best of intentions. If we are only focused on the surface of our thoughts and don’t probe them for depth of meaning and the feeling behind them, we can easily miss where we are limiting ourselves—and possibly others.

Because we think an astonishing number of thoughts a day, it is often easier to discover where we are playing small by focusing on how we are feeling. Negative emotions are a tipoff that we have some inaccurate thinking going on.

If I had truly stopped to probe how I was feeling around that business practice, I would have detected just a whiff of fear. Like a bloodhound catching a scent, that should have been enough to stop me in my tracks and begin digging for where that catabolic emotion was coming from.

But I had ignored that emotional guidance because I had heard other coaches talk about similar business practices. On the surface it seemed to meet my values, so I just plugged the policy in without examining it. This is easy to do because we generally assume that everyone else knows better than we do, which in itself is a limiting belief. Even expert advice may not be right for you.

If we take the time to examine—and question—our thoughts and beliefs we can discover weaknesses. Much like you can’t keep doing the same physical exercise the same way forever and expect to continue to get the same results, you have to look for beliefs that are no longer working and reach for new thoughts that better help you move forward.

And finally, you can talk to a coach who can help point out those thoughts and beliefs that you’ve accepted as true for so long that you don’t even recognize that they are actually hindering your progress in becoming the best possible version of you.

What can you do today to pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs and make sure they’re strong, well-developed, in alignment with your core values, and are taking you in the direction that will help you meet your goals?

You are not meant to play small. You make yourself small by thinking you are less than you truly are. How you play in life is a choice.

Together we can do it!

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