The Non-Negotiable Key to Success

While I’m in Sedona, Arizona, attending a business mastermind retreat, I’ve asked a few fabulous coaches to step in with blogs. Today’s guest blog is by Denise Hedges. While Denise is a business development coach and marketing strategist, her insight on mindset absolutely applies to weight loss. 

I can tell within 10 to 15 minutes. It’s so obvious.

I’ve coached a lot of people, and the contrasts between them is striking, but nothing has more influence over how successful they’ll be and how rapidly they progress than one particular factor.

From this one aspect, I can tell if they’re going to proceed normally toward getting what they want … facing just the usual challenges of life and business … or they’re really going to struggle. What is that?

I can focus it and personalize it best by asking a question.

How much time and energy do you spend arguing for your limitations?

In other words, how much of the conversation you have with yourself in your head, not to mention with others, sounds like: I can’t do this … that’s impossible … nothing’s gonna work … it’s all too hard … I don’t deserve it?

Sound familiar? Well, that’s where the contrast occurs. Really successful, happy people don’t do this.

Look, most of us do at least a little bit of this on a bad day. I get that, but what I’m talking about here is a habitual, reflexive pattern of approaching life this way. Warning: It’s not a harmless indulgence. It’s toxic … to you and your dreams.

The quality of your internal communication matters more than anything, because it’s so absolutely fundamental. If it’s reflexively negative, not only can you not run at full speed, you can’t even really get out of the starting blocks, because you don’t really believe good things are possible for you. That’s a bad place to be.

And if you want to get out of that bad place and get on with the business of having what you want, that’s where you have to go to work first.

It can be a challenge for me as a coach, because most people want to get on with making plans and creating strategies, thinking that strategizing and taking action is what’s going to make them successful where they haven’t been successful before.

These things won’t help if the dialogue in your head is negative, resistant, and blocking. They’ll only help if the path of possibility is open.

And it doesn’t even have to be wide open. What matters is not so much that someone is blazingly optimistic or free of doubt or fear, it’s just that there’s an absence of the quicksand that is self-defeating self-talk.

Simply put, just don’t erect your own roadblocks and when you do encounter real ones, don’t amplify them, and you’ll be fine.

Now, please, please, please don’t think this is some kind of holier than thou message. Ha! Hardly. I grew up negative. If there were an Olympic event for embracing negativity to the fullest, my family would have taken the gold!

And don’t think that if you’re currently disposed to thinking this way that you’re doomed. It just means that before you can make serious progress toward your goals, you have to transform your mindset.

I’m here to testify that it can be done.

A year after my husband died, a friend who was truly concerned about me gave me a book by Louise Hay … You Can Heal Your Life. I read it and then read it again … every day, sometimes several times a day. I realized I had to reset my default state of mind. I took it on as a project, as if my life depended on it … because it did!

The key is consistency. You can’t just read a book once and be done. It’s about consistently taking in the message and internalizing it.

Two years later, I was talking with another good friend in my car and she volunteered out of the blue that I was “the most positive person she knew.” I almost drove off the road! Confirmation!

Do I still have to work at it? Yeah, each and every day.

Okay, so what do you do if you’ve identified yourself as a negative self-talker who argues for your limitations and you want to change the default state?

Here are some terrific books and CDs that’ll help:

Ask and It Is Given – Esther and Jerry Hicks

Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting – Lynn Grabhorn

Wishcraft…How to Get What You Really Want – Barbara Sher

The Attractor Factor – Joe Vitale

You Can Heal Your Life – Louise Hay

decide ~ believe ~ dream & The Power of Attraction – Denise Hedges

Success in anything starts between your ears. The trick is to make sure what’s in there is empowering.

All the best,


Denise Hedges is a business development coach and marketing strategist with over 25 years experience in sales and marketing. As the co-founder of Business BreakThrough Institute, she’s created the world’s foremost attraction-based sales and marketing system. Denise specializes in working with women business owners, helping them move past any doubt or uncertainty about sales and marketing, attract more clients and customers, and make more money!

Denise is a Professional Certified Coach and a member of the Coach University Faculty, training personal and business coaches all over the world.

Check out her website at:

Are you struggling with your weight?

Are you worried about holiday weight gain?

Are you ready to get the body you really want?

I have 2 coaching spaces open to help you love your way slim. If you are serious about transforming your mind and body so that:

  • You create the holidays you really want and never feel deprived.
  • You start the New Year energized and feeling fabulous.
  • You break the cycle of losing and regaining weight—once and for all.

Secure your spot now by emailing me at by November 11 to schedule your complimentary breakthrough session. These powerful and empowering sessions are available on a limited basis.

Don’t wait till Jan 2 to take inspired action. Start creating the body—and life—you want today.


Love Your Way Slim

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”

-Lucille Ball

Often, women who struggle to release weight are love-starved.

Oh, you may have plenty of people who love and adore you, but you don’t feel loved.

Perhaps you’re so afraid of being judged that you refuse to completely open your heart to others. Or you have expectations of how people should love you that aren’t being met. Or you’re so self-critical, that you believe yourself to be unlovable.

Overeating is often an attempt to find the love you crave and fill the void in your heart with food. It is another way of looking in the wrong place to feel comforted and loved.

At the root of this is the mistaken belief that love is something that is given to you, or that you have to earn or be worthy of. That love comes from outside of you. That expressions of love have to meet certain criteria before you will accept them as love.

What many women don’t understand is that they are intrinsically valuable and worthy of love. That love is the very core of Who they are.

Remember the infant you in your mother’s arms. What did you have to do to earn love? What conditions did you put on the love you were receiving? What did you have to change about yourself to be worthy of love?

Regardless of what you have said and done in this life, what you have experienced, or how you have been treated, you are just as loved, lovable, and loving as the infant you.

Allowing yourself to feel loved is key to getting the body–and life–you want.

To see lasting changes in your body, it’s important to begin to crack that shell of protection you have created and allow love to trickle in from alternative places—from All-That-Is (God, the Universe, Source Energy, Higher Coach—whatever works for you) and from yourself.

Here are a couple of proven ways to begin to feel the love.

A powerful way to feel the love is to begin appreciating yourself. Not only can you turn your attention to those physical parts of you that you can appreciate, but also the internal parts. Begin to appreciate Who you are. Are you generous? Funny? Dedicated? Focused? Pay attention to and compliment yourself on your good qualities.

You can also appreciate the things that you do. Is the garden you have been tending overflowing with beautiful flowers? Did your kindness or compliment make someone smile? Did you get in your workout or stick to your eating plan? Count all the things you can appreciate about yourself—inside and out—and acknowledge and celebrate those things.

As you appreciate yourself, you begin to grow the love you have for yourself. You also grow the love you have to give to others.

Truly, loving yourself enough to take care of you—body, mind, and spirit—is what gives you the physical and spiritual capital to spend on others. 

“Life is here for you to live to the fullest. Take your courage in your hands and move out into Life. Ask for what you want. Believe that you deserve it, and then allow Life to give it to you.”

Louise Hay

Together we can do it!

Painful Lessons: What I Learned from a Bulging Disc

While traveling for the next few days, I thought I would share the inspiring words of some other fabulous coaches.

Today’s blog is from my friend and fellow coach, Jodie Rodenbaugh.

As a certified personal trainer who lives and breathes wellness, it’s both frustrating and exciting to deal with the pain of an injured back. Frustrating for the obvious pain and helplessness, but exciting to have the opportunity to feel what numerous others go through when dealing with back injuries so I can empathize a little easier.

For more than two months, I was at the mercy of my body—a victim of sorts. I’m used to working out hard and fast five days a week and consider myself to be pretty strong. I’m not the patient who sits all day and has no core strength and stability, but I am the patient who didn’t listen to her body when it was trying to tell her she had to pause and pay attention.

The first eight weeks I went to a chiropractor and a massage therapist three times a week with no improvement. So I decided it was time to find someone else and by the miracles of the Universe, the instant I made that decision, a man showed up on Facebook and lo and behold he was a chiropractor!

He got to the root cause in the first visit and by the second visit I was not only seeing hope, but also getting a glimpse of feeling myself again. The physical cause—my muscle imbalances were pushing my hips out of alignment until they couldn’t support one another.

What a relief this was to me! I now have a cause and when we have a cause it’s easier to fix, right? Putting a Band-Aid on something will only take the pain away for a little while, but the pain will continue to seep out if we try to mask it in some way.

My muscles were a mess; tight in some areas but overstretched and weak in others. If I didn’t pausing to figure out why I was feeling these warnings from my body and actually do something about them, the effect–pain–was still going to be the same.

I’d been fooling myself when I thought the problem would go away if I didn’t acknowledge the warnings. I’m not really sure if I was afraid to see the pain, “Oh, no, this isn’t happening to me! I’m going to put blinders on,” or if I just felt put out enough to ignore it, “Ugh, I can’t believe this is happening to me. I am getting old and my body is breaking down. Poor me,” or if maybe it was a combination of the two.

Either way, the body doesn’t like to be ignored, and mine said enough! My imbalances were bad enough and were ignored for long enough that when my back finally said, “No more!” I had a bulging disc in my lower back.

Now, having said all that, there’s another side to the story that I feel is important. As a Core Energy Coach and someone who knows thoughts create feelings, which then produce outcomes, I have been well-versed in the concepts of “what we think we feel” and how it has a tendency to show up in our bodies.

I believe my thoughts were contributing to my pain, but it’s not always easy to figure out what our thoughts are telling us because some thoughts are not in the conscious part of our minds. I had no idea what I was telling myself, so I sat with it for a while thinking of what was going on in my life and testing ideas out. “Well it could be… or maybe it’s…” But, nothing was standing out to me so I knew the thought had to be locked down deep in my subconscious possibly something I’ve been hiding from or avoiding.

Wanting to explore my current back pain and the mind-body connection, I was drawn further into the research of Louis L. Hay. She is known as one of the founders of the self-help movement. Her first book, Heal Your Body, was published in 1976, long before it was okay to discuss the connection between the mind and body.

Louise explains how our beliefs and ideas about ourselves are often the cause of our emotional problems and physical maladies, and how by using certain tools we can change our thinking and our lives for the better.

She has found there to be two common beliefs that cause lower back pain. The first one is a fear of money and the second is lack of financial support. The affirmation she suggests is, “I trust the process of life. All I need is always taken care of. I am safe.”

Now, I know this may sound a little crazy, but it totally makes sense for me and I can’t wait to dig deeper to untie this knot that has been holding me back. (Literally!). And even crazier still, I’m kind of grateful for this injury. It has given me some valuable insight into my own mind-body connection and helped me relate to the pain of others.

Pain is such a beautiful mess!


Jodie Rodenbaugh holds a Masters in Education and spent 16 years dedicated to teaching children the love of learning and eventually expanded her practice to coaching teachers.

Her decision to leave education, a Masters degree, and a full-time paying job in which she was comfortable enough not to ever worry about money came from the experiences she had after suddenly becoming a young, pregnant widow.

She followed her heart and the many clues she was given from God and the Universe and took the biggest leap of faith in herself as she resigned from education to share her lessons and passion for life. She helps others untangle from their fears, overwhelms, and pains that are suffocating their hearts and controlling their thoughts so that they are free to live and love again.

Learn more about Jodie and read her blog at