Wake Up to Life to Get the Sleep You Want

While I’m in Sedona, Arizona, attending a business mastermind retreat, I’ve asked a few fabulous coaches to step in with blogs. Today’s guest blog is by Jodie Rodenbaugh. As a coach who works with widows, Jodie embodies the importance of self-care in the face of life’s biggest challenges.

While talking to someone yesterday they asked me, “What keeps you up at night?”

I thought about this for a second. I know many people who don’t sleep at night or wake up in the middle of the night–and honestly I used to be one of them.

Before my husband died, I would toss and turn while he lay there sound asleep. He’d wake up excited for the day at the crack of dawn ready to take it on, saying things to me like, “Come on Babe, it’s a beautiful day to be here. Get up, love me, and be happy!

My response would be something short of a grunt, and his “happy dance” irritated me even more.

I never knew how he could fall asleep so fast, stay asleep, and pretty much sleep wherever he laid his head.

I never knew why I couldn’t fall asleep, stay asleep, or why the perfect sleeping environment was so important to me.

I never knew any of this until I the moment I woke up like I’ve never known awake before. The day my young, vibrant, alive husband was accidentally killed during a “routine” local block anesthesia procedure prior to shoulder surgery.

I went to bed that night and slept.

Through that first week I wondered why I was able to sleep at a time like this when I had such a difficult time sleeping before. I wanted to know why my biggest fear had become my reality and could sleep when I hadn’t slept before.

Was it because the things I thought that mattered before didn’t actually matter? I realized that there was not much in those weeks after he died that I could control but the one thing I could control was what I chose to feel.

That was a new concept to me because over the years, after many other smaller hurts, I got pretty good at hiding my feelings—or even ignoring them all together.

Becoming a widow was so sudden. It left me standing there completely vulnerable and naked. The only thing I knew for sure is it felt worse than any pain I had ever known and I didn’t want to stay in that feeling.

On the other hand, I recognized the beauty in feeling the emotions that I had shut out for so long. I learned that by ignoring my negative emotions—like sadness, shame, anger, resent, and blame—that I was blocking the positive emotions—like peace, freedom, love, and pure joy—from entering my heart.

I learned I was hiding from vulnerability and when I found myself completely vulnerable—feeling as though I had no choiceI learned that I really do have a choice.

I could ignore those feelings I was really good at hiding OR I could embrace them, show them, and receive them. I could open myself up to choosing life and loveand that’s exactly what I did. 

After four years, I still have struggles with trying to control an outcome or person, and worrying that something “may” happen in the future. I sometimes wonder what I “should” have done in the past, or what others think.

But the difference is I feel it, I allow it, and then I start digging.

I know the behaviors that tell me I’m ashamed or feeling alone, and those behaviors are pretty simple: hiding, blaming, complaining, shaming others, not completing tasks or committing to things. When I catch myself I have to ask:

  • “Why is this bothering me?”
  • “What am I ignoring by trying to control the things I cannot control?”

What I find is real, raw, and sad pain–and I let it come. The vulnerability that comes from feeling alone, like you don’t belong in the world, or plain old shame that comes from feeling “not good enough” or standing out in a crowd when others are afraid of your bright light.

Finding the “cause” quiets those thoughts down and I have an opportunity to sleep.

No one’s going to die if you go to sleep. More money or time isn’t going to magically appear if you stay awake and the problem will not go away in the morning, because you still see it as a “problem.”

Problems and struggles are only problems and struggles because you see them as problems and struggles. Start looking at things as opportunities to grow and ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen if I go to sleep now?”

Jodie xo

Jodie Rodenbaugh inspires young, widowed moms who feel overwhelmed, alone, and uncertain to catapult beyond their existence in the “widow” status so they can allow themselves to know and adore who they are, be confident in what they want and feel empowered to love and live a life they never knew could exist for them. 

Jodie holds a Masters in Education and spent 16 years dedicated to teaching children the love of learning and eventually expanded her practice to coaching teachers. Her decision to leave education, a Masters degree, and a full-time paying job in which she was comfortable enough not to ever worry about money came from the experiences she had after suddenly becoming a young, pregnant widow. 

She followed her heart and the many clues she was given from God and the Universe and took the biggest leap of faith—in herself—as she resigned from education to share her lessons and passion for life. She helps widows untangle from their fears, overwhelment, and pains that are suffocating their hearts and controlling their thoughts so that they are free to live and love again. 

Learn more about Jodie and read her blog at www.widowfindsloveagain.com

Are you struggling with your weight?

Are you worried about holiday weight gain?

Are you ready to get the body you really want?

I have 2 coaching spaces open to help you love your way slim. If you are serious about transforming your mind and body so that:

  • You create the holidays you really want and never feel deprived.
  • You start the New Year energized and feeling fabulous.
  • You break the cycle of losing and regaining weight—once and for all.

Secure your spot now by emailing me at hannagoss@goss-coaching.com by November 11 to schedule your complimentary breakthrough session. These powerful and empowering sessions are available on a limited basis.

Don’t wait till Jan 2 to take inspired action. Start creating the body—and life—you want today.

 

Painful Lessons: What I Learned from a Bulging Disc

While traveling for the next few days, I thought I would share the inspiring words of some other fabulous coaches.

Today’s blog is from my friend and fellow coach, Jodie Rodenbaugh.

As a certified personal trainer who lives and breathes wellness, it’s both frustrating and exciting to deal with the pain of an injured back. Frustrating for the obvious pain and helplessness, but exciting to have the opportunity to feel what numerous others go through when dealing with back injuries so I can empathize a little easier.

For more than two months, I was at the mercy of my body—a victim of sorts. I’m used to working out hard and fast five days a week and consider myself to be pretty strong. I’m not the patient who sits all day and has no core strength and stability, but I am the patient who didn’t listen to her body when it was trying to tell her she had to pause and pay attention.

The first eight weeks I went to a chiropractor and a massage therapist three times a week with no improvement. So I decided it was time to find someone else and by the miracles of the Universe, the instant I made that decision, a man showed up on Facebook and lo and behold he was a chiropractor!

He got to the root cause in the first visit and by the second visit I was not only seeing hope, but also getting a glimpse of feeling myself again. The physical cause—my muscle imbalances were pushing my hips out of alignment until they couldn’t support one another.

What a relief this was to me! I now have a cause and when we have a cause it’s easier to fix, right? Putting a Band-Aid on something will only take the pain away for a little while, but the pain will continue to seep out if we try to mask it in some way.

My muscles were a mess; tight in some areas but overstretched and weak in others. If I didn’t pausing to figure out why I was feeling these warnings from my body and actually do something about them, the effect–pain–was still going to be the same.

I’d been fooling myself when I thought the problem would go away if I didn’t acknowledge the warnings. I’m not really sure if I was afraid to see the pain, “Oh, no, this isn’t happening to me! I’m going to put blinders on,” or if I just felt put out enough to ignore it, “Ugh, I can’t believe this is happening to me. I am getting old and my body is breaking down. Poor me,” or if maybe it was a combination of the two.

Either way, the body doesn’t like to be ignored, and mine said enough! My imbalances were bad enough and were ignored for long enough that when my back finally said, “No more!” I had a bulging disc in my lower back.

Now, having said all that, there’s another side to the story that I feel is important. As a Core Energy Coach and someone who knows thoughts create feelings, which then produce outcomes, I have been well-versed in the concepts of “what we think we feel” and how it has a tendency to show up in our bodies.

I believe my thoughts were contributing to my pain, but it’s not always easy to figure out what our thoughts are telling us because some thoughts are not in the conscious part of our minds. I had no idea what I was telling myself, so I sat with it for a while thinking of what was going on in my life and testing ideas out. “Well it could be… or maybe it’s…” But, nothing was standing out to me so I knew the thought had to be locked down deep in my subconscious possibly something I’ve been hiding from or avoiding.

Wanting to explore my current back pain and the mind-body connection, I was drawn further into the research of Louis L. Hay. She is known as one of the founders of the self-help movement. Her first book, Heal Your Body, was published in 1976, long before it was okay to discuss the connection between the mind and body.

Louise explains how our beliefs and ideas about ourselves are often the cause of our emotional problems and physical maladies, and how by using certain tools we can change our thinking and our lives for the better.

She has found there to be two common beliefs that cause lower back pain. The first one is a fear of money and the second is lack of financial support. The affirmation she suggests is, “I trust the process of life. All I need is always taken care of. I am safe.”

Now, I know this may sound a little crazy, but it totally makes sense for me and I can’t wait to dig deeper to untie this knot that has been holding me back. (Literally!). And even crazier still, I’m kind of grateful for this injury. It has given me some valuable insight into my own mind-body connection and helped me relate to the pain of others.

Pain is such a beautiful mess!

 

Jodie Rodenbaugh holds a Masters in Education and spent 16 years dedicated to teaching children the love of learning and eventually expanded her practice to coaching teachers.

Her decision to leave education, a Masters degree, and a full-time paying job in which she was comfortable enough not to ever worry about money came from the experiences she had after suddenly becoming a young, pregnant widow.

She followed her heart and the many clues she was given from God and the Universe and took the biggest leap of faith in herself as she resigned from education to share her lessons and passion for life. She helps others untangle from their fears, overwhelms, and pains that are suffocating their hearts and controlling their thoughts so that they are free to live and love again.

Learn more about Jodie and read her blog at jodierodenbaugh.com.