Choosing to Work for the Body You Want

While I’m in Sedona, Arizona, attending a business mastermind retreat, I’m sharing one of my favorite past blogs.

Last night I took a look at all the things that are pretty commonly thought of as requirements for being healthy.

Things like eating healthy foods, exercise, drinking water, getting enough sleep, etc.

What was different was that instead of evaluating how well I am doing in each category–which leaves plenty of room for self-judgmentI looked at how I am approaching each thing.

  • Is it something I “won’t” or “can’t” do?
  • Is it something I “have to” do?
  • Is it a “need to” do?
  • Or is it something I “choose to ” or “choose not to” do?

This may sound like semantics, but in truth, the positive anabolic energy generated in approaching everything as a choice is like putting a rocket launcher on your ability to achieve your goals.

When you make working-out something you “choose-to” do, you are empowered. Even when you choose not to exercise today, you cut out all the guilt and self-punishment, and are still empowered.

Telling yourself you “can’t or “won’t” exercise removes all choice and generates negative catabolic energy that bogs down your momentum like wheels getting stuck in mud.

Feeling like you “have to” workout is only a little better because your ability to choose is still limited.

Telling yourself you “need to” work out gives you more of a choice and starts to shift your momentum.

Choosing your actions gives you total control.

It was empowering just looking down this list with my fabulous mentor coach Jennifer Barley and seeing that in eight out of 12 categories, I am functioning at not only a “choose to” level, but a strong “want to!”

Taking out judgment left me feeling confident about my ability to achieve my wellness-goals.

For instance, it doesn’t matter that I am choosing to decrease the intensity of my workouts for the time being because of tweaking the muscles in my back (something I have been judging myself for).

What is important is that I am still choosing to work out five to six times a week for a minimum of 30 minutes doing what I can do. I’m still empowered and moving towards my goal; more slowly perhaps, but still forward.

That left only four categories that I feel I “need to” be doing to be healthy.

Instead of judging my overall wellness based on some room for improvement, I can separate out those few categories and work on shifting my thoughts around them from “Need to” to “Choose to.” That feels much more doable and like something, well, I “want to” do!

Here’s how to do this exercise for yourself.

  • What is your wellness goal?
  • Make a list of all the things that you believe you “have to” do to achieve it.
  • Then rank how you are approaching those things.

Are you closer to the disempowered “have to” or the empowered “choose to?” What can you do to move any low-energy areas to things that you “want to” do? How different does that feel?

Together we can do it!

Are you struggling with your weight?

Are you worried about holiday weight gain?

Are you ready to get the body you really want?

I have 2 coaching spaces open to help you love your way slim. If you are serious about transforming your mind and body so that:

  • You create the holidays you really want and never feel deprived.
  • You start the New Year energized and feeling fabulous.
  • You break the cycle of losing and regaining weight—once and for all.

Secure your spot now by emailing me at hannagoss@goss-coaching.com by November 11 to schedule your complimentary breakthrough session. These powerful and empowering sessions are available on a limited basis.

Don’t wait till Jan 2 to take inspired action. Start creating the body—and life—you want today.

 

Time Keeps on Slipping, Slipping, Slipping….

This morning, my husband David and I are giving an Energy Leadership workshop to 100 students in Western Carolina University’s Project C.A.R.E. (Committed to African-American Retention in Education), so I’m sharing a blog from my fabulous friend and mentor, Jennifer Barley.

It is hard to believe how fast time flies. In just a blink of an eye, it’s Saturday, August 25, 2012.  How did it all happen so fast?  Where does the time go?

Habits can easily enter our lives or disappear from our lives. We may have had the best routine going and then all of a sudden, it’s been two months since you tracked your food, ate healthy, got in a good workout.

Often we “awful-ize” the whole kit-and-kaboodle saying things like, “I can never get back in that routine,” “I can’t get my mo-jo back,” or “Once I lose my groove, I can never find it.”

That is so untrue.

A new habit is ready to bloom. You just need to start. Today. Yes, start today. And repeat tomorrow. And then again on day three. 

Time is going to go by anyway.

What new habit are you willing to start? Go ahead and make the commitment by posting your new habit in the comments field.

Jennifer Barley is a Professional Certified Life Coach, public speaker, Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) instructor, author and former award-winning Weight Loss Leader.

It is Jennifer’s strong belief that every person can create whatever life they choose and she partners with her clients to make it happen. She has a strong talent for motivating, inspiring and adding humor to every situation.

Jennifer works with clients one-on-one, in workshop environments, and through online tele-classes. As the KickStart Coach™ Jennifer is committed to providing the support, encouragement, accountability, and motivation that her clients need to get inspired and get in the game.

You can learn more about her at www.jenniferbarley.com and read her blog at http://blog.jenniferbarley.com

Truth or Consequences . . .

While I’m in Charleston, South Carolina, this week participating in and presenting at a couple of workshops, I thought I would share a couple of my favorite blogs.

This one is from my fabulous friend and mentor, Jennifer Barley.

The theme right now in my house is action.

Making decisions and taking action. Moving forward. Getting clarity about the goals and figuring out how to make those plans come alive. It feels good.

And I am now feeling like a student of action. I am studying what makes us move, what creates flow, and what stops us dead in our tracks.

Today—let’s talk about consequences.

As long as you want the benefits (of the goal) with no consequence—you will always stay stuck.

Everything has consequences. People may judge you, people may not approve, you might outgrow people in your life. You might lose money. You might have to re-paint. You might be vulnerable. You might get hurt.

Instead, focus on what “might” happen if you do fulfill your goal.

You might be empowered. You might go to the next level. You might fully love. You might meet new people. You might feel fulfilled. You might help others. You might feel better than you have in years.

Focus on the benefits of the goal—and risk the consequences.

You are capable of handling the “might” consequences—and you deserve to have the “might” benefits.

Tony Robbins, the master of motivation, has The Ultimate Success Formula:

1. Know your outcome.

2. Get yourself to take action by deciding to do so.

3. Notice what you’re getting from your actions.

4. If what you are doing is not working, change your approach.

Seems simple enough, doesn’t it?

Where are you ready to take action in your life?

Jennifer Barley is a Professional Certified Life Coach, public speaker, Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) instructor, author and former award-winning Weight Loss Leader.

It is Jennifer’s strong belief that every person can create whatever life they choose and she partners with her clients to make it happen. She has a strong talent for motivating, inspiring and adding humor to every situation.

Jennifer works with clients one-on-one, in workshop environments, and through online tele-classes. As the KickStart Coach™ Jennifer is committed to providing the support, encouragement, accountability, and motivation that her clients need to get inspired and get in the game.

You can learn more about her at www.jenniferbarley.com and read her blog at http://blog.jenniferbarley.com

 

Just Because You Can Doesn’t Mean You Should

While attending a workshop in Sedona, Arizona, over the next few days, I am sharing a few of my favorite blogs.

Today’s blog is from my friend, mentor, and coach, Jennifer Barley.

Many of us have many abilities. Those talents, skills, things that come oh-so-easy, resources, tools, and the “can-do” characteristics that ooze from every cell of our bodies.

However, just because I can do something, doesn’t mean I should. I often take on projects under the guise of, “Well, if I don’t do it, what is going to happen to the person, the project, the group, the goal?” or “Well, I can just bang it out, why not?”

The why not is because I no longer want to spend my time, energy, and talents on the things that do not bring me joy. I want to stay in alignment with my vision, my focus, and my limited time.

Saying No or Saying Yes is something I have been working on for years. However, I observed myself losing my footing when I saw that a local organization clearly could use some good leadership, and could really benefit from some marketing, program development, and a good ‘ol swift “I can so do this” kick in the pants. All of a sudden, I found my name up on the flip chart next to the name of a committee.

Then I remembered my “three-day rule.” Since I tend to get overly enthused in the moment, any time I am asked or have the inkling to volunteer my time, I give myself three days to think it over—how much time is needed, what would I need to contribute, what kind of support would there be, is this something I REALLY want to spend my time on?

The “three-day rule” is my own personal checks and balance system. It is a no-fail approach to make sure that what I choose to do is in alignment with how I want to spend my energy.

I gave myself the three-day grace period and let the group know that I would not be able to effectively be a part of the team at this time.

Just having that conversation made me feel better . . . more connected even. Connected to myself.

What are the things that you wish you had given yourself three days to really think about?

 

Jennifer Barley is a Professional Certified Life Coach, public speaker, Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) instructor, author and former award-winning Weight Loss Leader.

It is Jennifer’s strong belief that every person can create whatever life they choose and she partners with her clients to make it happen. She has a strong talent for motivating, inspiring and adding humor to every situation.

Jennifer works with clients one-on-one, in workshop environments, and through online tele-classes. As the KickStart Coach™ Jennifer is committed to providing the support, encouragement, accountability, and motivation that her clients need to get inspired and get in the game.

You can learn more about her at www.jenniferbarley.com and read her blog at http://blog.jenniferbarley.com

 

 

How You Show Up For Anything Is How You Show Up For Everything

While attending a workshop in Sedona, Arizona, over the next few days, I am sharing a few of my favorite blogs.

Today’s blog is from my friend, mentor, and coach, Jennifer Barley. Here she gives us another take on expectations than I provided in Monday’s blog. How do you think expectations serve you and limit you? How possible is it for the answer to be both?

How we show up for one thing resembles how we show up for everything.

We carry our beliefs and attitudes everywhere with us. If we are looking for trouble, we find trouble. If we expect a conversation to go badly, it usually goes badly. If we enter with an air of exploration, we explore. If we are focused on incompetence, we find incompetence.

Basically, we are just trying to prove ourselves right. By doing so, we get the ego boost to say, “A-ha! I was right . . . this is so lame. . . so amazing. . . so beneath me.” Fill in the blank.

What you expect to get out of a situation usually comes true. The question is–why do you have so many expectations? How do you carry those expectations into various situations? How does having expectations actually cause disappointment?

If you are constantly disappointed, how are your showing up? If you are skeptical, do you focus on the things that aren’t measuring up?

It is so easy to default to focusing on the negative–why things won’t work, how you wish they were different, how other people annoy you–the list can go on and on.

What if you showed up with no expectations and just experienced the experience. No judging if it is good or bad. No ranking on where it falls. I mean, really letting go of expectations.

Where is one area you could let go of expectations–and truly be an observer without judgment? It could change how you show up . . . for everything.

 

Jennifer Barley is a Professional Certified Life Coach, public speaker, Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) instructor, author and former award-winning Weight Loss Leader.

It is Jennifer’s strong belief that every person can create whatever life they choose and she partners with her clients to make it happen. She has a strong talent for motivating, inspiring and adding humor to every situation.

Jennifer works with clients one-on-one, in workshop environments, and through online tele-classes. As the KickStart Coach™ Jennifer is committed to providing the support, encouragement, accountability, and motivation that her clients need to get inspired and get in the game.

You can learn more about her at www.jenniferbarley.com and read her blog at http://blog.jenniferbarley.com

My FOMO is Affecting My MOJO

While meeting a deadline, attending a workshop, and traveling over the next few days, I thought I would share the inspiring words of some other fabulous coaches. 

Today’s blog is from my friend, mentor and coach, Jennifer Barley.

 

Oh. . . I have it. I have it bad.

FOMO. The Fear of Missing Out. It must almost be comical to watch me with all my worked up FOMO. It can sure work me into a tailspin.

Just yesterday I received an email from a friend about a condo available for free in Orlando this week only—did anyone want it?

Ironically, I am going to Orlando a week from Friday to go to Epcot center. So the FOMO kicks in and I start rearranging my week—figuring out how to pack, when I can go, how to get in touch with the person, how do I move Epcot up to this week, can I rearrange my schedule—all of this around the fear of not wanting to miss out.

Free condos aren’t the only areas. My FOMO spreads far and wide to all topics such as sales, meeting people, bike rides, speaking, conducting workshops, teaching, sunshine, beautiful views, traveling, half-price airline tickets, BOGOs (buy one, get one free), chicken wings and groupons. The list can go on and on.

FOMO messes up my mojo because I get all reactive. Sometimes I am not even sure that the “opportunity” is that great of an “opportunity” but I can pour a lot of energy in to it. FOMO can also create a lot of, “What if . . . ?” and “I wonder . . . ?”

FOMO can go the other way and create a pitiful case of stagnation. Me with a restaurant menu says it all. It all looks so good. A lot of the food I rarely eat. Hence my FOMO kicks in as I waffle between multiple items and have the hardest time making a decision—all from not wanting to miss out.

After yesterday’s reaction—which by the way, I passed on—I realized that I am not missing out on anything. I am being present in my life right where I am.

How can I worry about missing out on a bike ride if I am on a wonderful power walk? How can I worry about missing out on Dillard’s semi-annual sale if I don’t really need anything? How can I worry about missing out on meeting people if I just look around and see who is already there?

Don’t let your Fear of Missing Out actually cause you to miss out on your life exactly where you are.

 

Jennifer Barley is a Professional Certified Life Coach, public speaker, Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) instructor, author and former award-winning Weight Loss Leader.

It is Jennifer’s strong belief that every person can create whatever life they choose and she partners with her clients to make it happen. She has a strong talent for motivating, inspiring and adding humor to every situation.

Jennifer works with clients one-on-one, in workshop environments, and through online tele-classes. As the KickStart Coach™ Jennifer is committed to providing the support, encouragement, accountability, and motivation that her clients need to get inspired and get in the game.

You can learn more about her at www.jenniferbarley.com and read her blog at http://blog.jenniferbarley.com

 

Waiting for The Other Shoe To Drop . . .

I have family in town, so I thought I’d share this great blog from my mentor and coach, Jennifer Barley.

 

Bad things happen in threes. If I am too happy, then something bad will happen. I can’t be this lucky. I’ll never be happy like that again.

It is amazing the stories we tell ourselves and how those stories can change our energy. Perhaps we are just spinning old wives tales, perhaps it is superstition, perhaps we just don’t want to jinx anything.

But what if . . . you could consistently feel good and have things go well in your life all the time? What if you actually believed it?

How freeing would that be?

Wherever you put your energy expands. If you are looking for the third bad thing—well, you’re going to find it. If you are thinking about the other shoe dropping, well you’re going to be looking out for ‘when’ that will actually happen.

Our fear is that something—such as happiness, joy, bliss—will be taken away from us. It can’t. Those qualities live within each of us regardless of anything external or anything that happens to us. It doesn’t mean that life won’t give us a wide spectrum of experiences—but inner qualities can exist regardless of the circumstance.

Don’t feel like you have to hoard your happiness—feel it, expand it, share it, know that it has the potential to always be there. You have to be open to that possibility. Live in a mentality of abundance—not lack.

Allow yourself to imagine the “what if I could experience more joy” mentality. You can. You just have to be open to it.

 

 

Jennifer Barley is a Professional Certified Life Coach, public speaker, Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) instructor, author and former award-winning Weight Loss Leader.

It is Jennifer’s strong belief that every person can create whatever life they choose and she partners with her clients to make it happen. She has a strong talent for motivating, inspiring and adding humor to every situation.

Jennifer works with clients one-on-one, in workshop environments, and through online tele-classes. As the KickStart Coach™ Jennifer is committed to providing the support, encouragement, accountability, and motivation that her clients need to get inspired and get in the game.

You can learn more about her at www.jenniferbarley.com and read her blog at http://blog.jenniferbarley.com