Wellness Tip of the Day: Live as the person you intend to be. Line up your actions with your desires for the life you want to create.
Tag Archives: Intention
Where Are You Playing Small?
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I was having lunch yesterday with business coach Mandy Wildman when she asked me a question about one of my business practices. When I explained it, she very nicely let me know that not only was I playing small, but I was allowing my clients to play small, too.
Mandy was absolutely right. Even though my intention was to be of service to the most people, the reasoning behind it was a limiting belief.
This is why even coaches need coaches!
And it brought to mind this quote by Marianne Williamson:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
The challenge becomes recognizing when we are playing small.
As I clearly demonstrate, playing small can hide in the best of intentions. If we are only focused on the surface of our thoughts and don’t probe them for depth of meaning and the feeling behind them, we can easily miss where we are limiting ourselves—and possibly others.
Because we think an astonishing number of thoughts a day, it is often easier to discover where we are playing small by focusing on how we are feeling. Negative emotions are a tipoff that we have some inaccurate thinking going on.
If I had truly stopped to probe how I was feeling around that business practice, I would have detected just a whiff of fear. Like a bloodhound catching a scent, that should have been enough to stop me in my tracks and begin digging for where that catabolic emotion was coming from.
But I had ignored that emotional guidance because I had heard other coaches talk about similar business practices. On the surface it seemed to meet my values, so I just plugged the policy in without examining it. This is easy to do because we generally assume that everyone else knows better than we do, which in itself is a limiting belief. Even expert advice may not be right for you.
If we take the time to examine—and question—our thoughts and beliefs we can discover weaknesses. Much like you can’t keep doing the same physical exercise the same way forever and expect to continue to get the same results, you have to look for beliefs that are no longer working and reach for new thoughts that better help you move forward.
And finally, you can talk to a coach who can help point out those thoughts and beliefs that you’ve accepted as true for so long that you don’t even recognize that they are actually hindering your progress in becoming the best possible version of you.
What can you do today to pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs and make sure they’re strong, well-developed, in alignment with your core values, and are taking you in the direction that will help you meet your goals?
You are not meant to play small. You make yourself small by thinking you are less than you truly are. How you play in life is a choice.
Together we can do it!
Photo by tungphoto / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Vacation Accountability
I’m sitting here drinking a green protein shake (spinach, banana, flax-seed, vanilla protein powder, cold water, cinnamon, and ice) feeling good about getting back on track nutrition-wise.
My husband and I in Labadee, Haiti
My husband and I just returned from our first cruise, which we took to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. And boy, people are not exaggerating about the food on cruises. Delicious food is everywhere in massive quantities!
Before I left, I blogged about my plan to deal with food and exercise during the trip and asked you fabulous readers to help keep me accountable.
My intention was to enjoy myself and to feel like I was having a vacation, but also to come back feeling good, balanced, and with my healthy habits intact.
While I didn’t write down what I ate every day (hey, I was on vacation!), knowing that I would be reporting to you all on how I did, I kept a running tab in my head and was planning to give myself a grade of “B” for how well I navigated the week.
But rereading my intention has me re-evaluating that grade. I actually met that intention spot on! I never felt deprived, kept my indulgences mostly in balance, and feel the momentum to resume my healthy habits. Good on me!
Here’s how I did.
Food—I avoided the bread basket all but the night of our anniversary and selected fairly healthy meals. I did eat a lot more beef than normal, but since I am allergic to fish or seafood, I would have been eating the same chicken dish over and over otherwise. Instead of my normal five to six small meals it was definitely more like three larger meals with one snack, but for the most part I avoided empty calories and indulged in healthy fruit because it was so good and fresh.
Sweets—My wonderful husband, David, surprised me which a romance package that included two evenings where appetizers and desserts delivered to our room. The good news was most of the canapés had fish or seafood, so I couldn’t eat them. But the desserts definitely got eaten. Other than that, I ordered dessert every night, but limited myself to a few bites.
Alcohol—The plan was to stick to one cocktail or glass of wine a night. Here I did pretty well. I only had two glasses of champagne twice—the night we arrived when David had scheduled a bottle of champagne to be waiting on us in our room, and the actual day of our anniversary. If I was going to indulge, lower-calorie champagne was definitely the place to do it!
Zip-lining in Jamaica
Exercise—We only hit the gym twice, but were walking, swimming, and active the other days. My body was letting me know that it was pretty good idea to also take a slight vacation from the gym. As a result, a slight back injury is feeling much better and I should be able to get back to hitting the workouts hard in the next week or two. And as soon as I finish this blog, I’m going to head upstairs to exercise.
Sleep—We did a good job of balancing our activities with adequate sleep. I definitely felt relaxed and rested at the end of the cruise.
Healthy Thoughts—Making wellness a lifestyle means consistently practicing healthy thoughts, as well as actions. One thing I noticed is that I felt much less self-conscious in my swimsuit than I have in the past. That is definite progress!
Arriving at Labadee to go snorkeling
How I planned to evaluate my success at achieving balance over our vacation was that I would come home having maintained my weight and feeling good physically and mentally. While I didn’t weigh this morning, my jeans fit just fine and I do feel good. Mission accomplished!
Fun, rest, and relaxation are absolutely an important part of our wellness journeys. Maintaining balance is the key.
Together we can do it!
Are You Tempted?
I’m packing today to go on my first cruise to celebrate my 20th wedding anniversary. To say I’m excited is an understatement!
But I’m also aware that I will be facing lots of temptations, and it might be easy to let my attention to health and wellness slip a little—or even a lot. I’m already feeling vacation’s siren song of rest, relaxation, and indulgence.
Making wellness a lifestyle means consistently practicing healthy thoughts and actions no matter where you are, even a cruise. To me, it also means finding balance and a little bit of freedom without undoing all the mental and physical momentum I generate on a daily basis.
My intention is to enjoy myself and to feel like I’m having a vacation, but also to come back feeling good, balanced, and with my healthy habits intact. To fulfill that, I’ve created a plan.
I will know my plan was a success if when I come back I have maintained my weight and feel good physically and mentally.
Select and Sample
One thing I know I will be facing is lots and lots of food options. It’s important to remember that there’s no way I am going to be able to eat everything I want, and trying to go there will mean paying for it later.
So I plan to use the plentiful food options to my advantage. What that means is that I will be able to select healthy food and portions most of the time.
My intention is that I will be selective and eat those treats that I truly want, but I am going to choose not to eat as much of them as I might want. A bite or two that I savor and enjoy is truly enough. I find that after that, the taste of what I’m eating becomes less intense and what I’m doing as I continue to eat is trying to regain that first taste-sensation.
Although I’m having visions of drinks with little umbrellas, celebratory champagne, and superb wine pairings, I am also going to be careful with alcohol, which is where empty calories can sneak in so easily.
What I’m going to do here is choose one each day. Once a day I will have either a Pina Colada, a glass of champagne, or a glass of wine with dinner. (And I will choose lower-calorie and better for me wine or champagne most often.) Since I normally don’t drink much, any one of those will be an indulgence. My head and body will thank me in the morning (and after the trip), if I maintain some moderation here. Drinking plenty of water during the day will also be key.
I’m bringing along protein bars and individual portion packs of almonds for quick and healthy snacks while on excursions. By not letting myself get too hungry between meals, I will be much more likely to stick to my plan.
Pack Workout Clothes
The ship we’re sailing on has a gym, outside track, climbing wall, surfing simulator, and even an ice rink! While I’m nursing a mild back injury, there should be plenty of fun ways for me to move my body every day.
A workout doesn’t have to be perfect to leave you feeling better and more energized. You just have to do it.
Catch Some Zs
One of the keys for making sure I stay on track while traveling is to get adequate rest, which can be a challenge in a strange bed hearing noises that I’m not used to, as well as having so many fun things to do that I’m not getting to bed until late.
I know what adequate rest means for me, so I intend have fun, but allow myself to get the sleep that I need.
Accountability
I would also like to ask you fabulous readers to hold me accountable when I get back. Knowing that I’ll have to report to you on how I did at following my plan will absolutely help me think twice before sticking my fork into some delicious dish.
And if I do find that I drank a second glass of wine, heeded the call of dessert, or chose having fun over sleep, I won’t beat myself up. To achieve optimal wellness, we only need to be consistent, not perfect.
What do you do to maintain your wellness while on vacation? Please share the travel and vacation tips that have worked for you. The best way to learn is from each other.
Together we can do it!
Photo by Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
How Do You Envision Your Life?
I have spent the morning envisioning my future, and it is good.
This is part of an assignment for a workshop I am taking with my mentor coach, the fabulous Jennifer Barley. While I’ve done visioning exercises in the past that have been powerful, this time it feels even more profound and freeing. But I expect even this vision will expand and evolve as I do, because life is a continuous growing process.
Visioning is simple in that you are envisioning the life that you want to live. The challenge is that often people are unknowingly focused on what they don’t want. Anything that has “not” or “don’t” in front of it is focused on what you don’t want. For instance, “I don’t want to be fat” is still focused on fat. “I don’t want to be in debt” is still focused on debt.
What you’re really saying is that you want to be fit, strong, and lean. You want to be financially free.
Visioning can be words or images (think vision board)—whatever evokes the feeling you want your life to generate. The more fully you can paint this picture in your mind by incorporating all the physical senses, the more powerful it is.
Ultimately you want your vision to give your life direction and to inspire action. And when you take into account the Foundation Principle that “Energy Attracts Like Energy,” also known as the Law of Attraction, it makes sense to as clearly as possible put your focus on what you want.
Interestingly, what I did with this vision is actually get away from specific directives, such as “I want this amount of money by this date.” Instead I described the essence of what I want, which makes my goal feel much more believable. For instance, many of the women I work with have a hard time looking at themselves in the mirror and saying, “I am beautiful.” It just feels like a lie. They can’t allow themselves to feel or believe it. That internal struggle really isn’t helpful when you are trying to envision the life that you want to live. So anytime I felt even the hint of resistance in myself, I tweaked the wording until I could fully embrace it.
I also did sort of a combination vision statement and vision board by incorporating images alongside my vision statements that help me tap into the emotion and detail I want. Because many of the images are things I don’t have the authority to share over the internet, I can’t show you the finished piece, which is now printed out on ledger paper and posted on the wall in front of my computer. I also incorporated color and formatting that I’m not including here.
My intention with sharing my vision statement is to help you think about yours. How do you want your body, mind, spiritual connection, relationships, work, and any other element of life to be in the future? How can you connect with your vision on a daily basis? What kind of impact does that have on your life?
Together we can do it!
I Am Free to Be Me ♦ I Am in Love With Life ♦ I Am Joy ♦ I Am Love ♦ I Am Clarity
I Am Fun ♦ I Am Laughter ♦ I Am Inspiring ♦ I Am Powerful ♦ I Am Intention ♦ I Am Present
I Am Whole ♦ I Am Conscious ♦ I Am Authentic ♦ I Am Natural ♦ I Am Ease ♦ I Am Fulfilled
♦ I Am Appreciation ♦
Spirit
My Spiritual connection is intentional, constant, and clear. I use my emotions to guide me to an ever-growing, richer, fuller, and more fulfilling life-experience. I am whole and in-tune with my Higher-Self. I am delighted and enchanted with my life as it is unfolding. More and more moments feel like sheer magic. I am Who I intend and I am in love with life. My heart overflows with appreciation.
Body
I love and appreciate my strong, lean, and powerful body that is functioning optimally and fully allows me to express my authentic best. I naturally and intentionally gravitate to delicious, high-energy foods that I savor. I love moving my body with intention and intensity. I naturally give my body attention, care, and nourishment.
Mind
My mind is nourished, strong, and expanding. I naturally gravitate to information, ideas, and even entertainment that enhances my knowledge, awareness, clarity, and consciousness. Learning is natural and fun.
Relationships
My relationship is easy, loving, satisfying, and fun. Together we are positive, dynamic, heart-centered, and living in the moment. We explore, engage- and connect-with, expand, and enjoy each other and life. We share on all levels—mind, body, and spirit. We give each other the freedom to fully explore and create our best selves. We listen with our whole hearts, often have moments where we laugh until we cry, and support each other unconditionally. We have open, loving, deep, and honest communication. Together we fully express our love physically—making love, a caress, a hug, holding hands, a touch in passing.
My animal and human family knows they are loved and adored. With them, I am present, heart-centered, and intuitive. We are connected and in-tune. We hear and acknowledge each other fully. We have fun together.
Career
I am inspiring myself and more people than I ever imagined. My remembering and connecting-with Who-I-Truly-Am is a beacon guiding others towards their healthiest and Highest Selves, and their brightening lights serve to expand my own understanding and clarity, which continues to inspire myself and others. We share an ever-expanding circle of growth, clarity, connection, and inspiration. The energy and value that I share in my coaching and the words that I speak and write magnetically attracts an abundant income. I am financially free.
Home
My home is a comfortable and elegant space where things feel loving and easy. It is filled with positive energy, sunlight, life, and colors that I love. I have space dedicated to my body, space dedicated to my mind, space dedicated to my career, space dedicated to my soul, and space dedicated to the people and animals I love. The beautiful view connects me to nature and to Source, and there are many comfortable and easy-to-be spaces indoors and out that help me enjoy that connection to the fullest. My home is filled with love, laughter, beauty, and joy.
Fun
I am having fun playing indoors and out. I am listening to music, watching fun, uplifting, and inspiring TV, movies, and plays, and am reading books that fill my heart with joy. I am hiking, biking, walking, picnicking and otherwise connecting with nature. I am traveling, exploring and loving this fun, interesting, vibrant, and exciting world. Wonderful anabolic friends are connected with everywhere I go and we enrich each other’s lives.
I Am Intentional ♦ I Am Constant ♦ I Am Clear
Accountability
Aside
Accountability for December 26, 2011
After falling into the cookies, on December 20, I committed to being accountable through the New Year to you Fabulous Readers about my diet and exercise as I recover from surgery.
I am back on track! Ate clean—no extras or sweets—and got in all four-doctor-prescribed walks. My intention is to do it again today.
Have a goal on which you would like to be held accountable? Feel free to use the comment space on each of my accountability blogs, and I will cheer you on. Just let me know what your goal is, what you will be doing to meet it, and how often you will be reporting in.
Tame the Inner Cookie Monster
My inner toddler seems to have taken control of my eating since my surgery last Wednesday and has turned into a bit of a Cookie Monster.
This came about because my tummy wasn’t very accommodating for the first few days, so it seemed OK to enjoy saltines, ginger ale, and a few cookies. But as my body has gotten better in balance, my indulgence in cookies has only increased.
Granted these are “healthier” cookies than normal. Before the surgery, my wonderful husband, David, made my recipe for peanut-butter oatmeal cookies, which have no additional fat from the peanut butter and just a little dark brown sugar and honey. When he mentioned making some chocolate chip cookies, out of self-preservation I went on-line and found a lightened up recipe that substitutes oatmeal for much of the flour and cuts the fat significantly. (And wow are they good!) While these are better choices that are fine for an occasional indulgence, they are still more calories than nutrition.
After I set my intention yesterday to eat clean, but wound up having cookies for two of my meals (what works for me is to eat five to six smaller meals a day) and was sneaking in one or two more, I realized it was time to tame this beast and get back on track with my healthy eating. I really do want to be able to wear my jeans at the end of the week!
What I would ask a client is, “What are the feelings that are leading to eating the cookies?”
For me there is some boredom (which makes total sense because my activities are curtailed for the time being and David has had to go back to work, so I’m having to entertain myself) and a sense of entitlement from my inner toddler that feels like I “deserve” cookies because I went through surgery (and behaved really well!), it’s the holidays, and I just plain want them because they are easy and delicious.
(I can almost hear the whining and feel the temper-tantrum coming on!)
Since my commitment to eating healthy is pretty darn high and I’m putting this out there to you fabulous readers to help me stay accountable, what can I do to tame this inner Cookie Monster and meet my goals?
- I can put the cookies in the freezer, which will require that they thaw before I eat them, making sure I have a good 20 minutes to decide if I really want them or not. (Done!)
- Every day, I can read my affirmations and my list of reasons why I want to start the New Year feeling great. (I just went and read them.)
- When I want cookies, I can offer myself a choice of an apple or orange instead.
- I can plan out my meals in advance. (Done)
- I can plan to eat some cookies on Christmas day.
- If my inner toddler throws a tantrum, I can mentally walk away and just let her throw a fit. But the answer will still be “No.”
- I will post how I am doing with food and exercise for the next two weeks so that you can keep me accountable.
I suspect that I’m not the only one who has found themselves eating foods that generate guilt rather than a feeling of ease and alignment with their goals.
If you are in the same boat, ask yourself what you are feeling as you reach for that treat? Look at your commitment to eating healthy—if it’s fairly low, what can you do to raise it? What are some strategies you can engage to make the changes you want? How can you hold yourself accountable?
You are the only one responsible for the things you eat and put in your body. What can you do to eat foods that feel good, rather than create guilt?
Together we can do it!
Goss Coaching 