Feel Fabulous On the Way to Getting the Body You Want

HappyOften when we set the New Year’s resolution to lose weight, the underlying thought behind the goal is, “I will be happy when I am slim.”

But it’s backwards. You have to start feeling happy now.

As much as possible, feel the emotion that you think being slim will give you. Feeling that emotion right now will actually help turbocharge your efforts to get the body you want.

And it will make the process of releasing the weight fun. (Yes, it really is possible to enjoy getting the body you want!)

It was a huge change for me when I shifted my thinking from, “I will be happy when I lose weight,” to “I will be happy now and enjoy the process of releasing my weight.”

Huge not in that making this shift was difficult, but huge in the impact it had on my life.

One way to make this shift is to think about how being at your ideal weight would make you feel.

Will losing weight make you feel confident? Empowered? Sexy?

This emotion is key. It is this emotion that you are truly after. You just think that losing weight is the route to getting that emotion.

One reason tapping into that emotion is so powerful is because you harness all of your energy in the present instead of siphoning it off to some future time or event.

Shifting your energy from the future to now is like going from driving with bald tires in the snow to having snow tires, chains, and all-wheel drive. It gives you traction, power, and momentum to reach your goals. 

How awesome is it that you can feel the way being slim would make you feel right away (you don’t have to wait!), AND feeling that way will help you get the body you want?

So how do you do that?

Think about times when you do feel confident, empowered, or sexy. If you can’t bring anything to mind, just imagine what having the body you want would feel like. And if you catch yourself feeling confident, empowered, or sexy, make that feeling last as long as possible by reaching for thoughts that build on that emotion.

Now practice this feeling as much as possible every day. Even feeling it for as little as 1 minute will start to move you in the direction you want to go.

Not only do you get the bonus of feeling good right now, but the process of releasing the weight becomes fun and satisfying. Best of all, you keep the weight off for good.

This time next year you can feel physically fabulous and fully love your body.

Decide right now to reach for how being slim will make you feel. And practice that every day.

Together we can do it!

Be Happy Now To Get the Body You Want

Winter HappyDo you need a “reason” to be happy?

Maybe you tell yourself you’ll be happy “when” you lose weight? Or maybe it’s “when” you recover from an illness, meet that deadline, or have a certain amount of money?

I’m going to be completely honest and open with you—I’m guilty of this, too.

For the first time in two years, I’ve found myself putting off “being” happy.

As a result, I’ve been stressed.

And I didn’t listen to my body when it was telling me to slow down. Now, I’m recovering from a lingering cold.

This is an awesome reminder for me that your wellness is never “done.” You can’t mark self-care off your “to-do” list, and proclaim yourself “complete.” It’s an ever-evolving process. New things can come along that you have to adjust to and that require you to re-find your balance.

You have to refocus on being happy now.

What’s given me this “future focus” and caused me to put off being happy?

I’m taking my business to the next level by launching my new brand and website today (!), getting ready to launch a new coaching program in January, and am planning my first ever Love Your Way Slim Beach-side Retreat in April. I’m also giving a free tele-class tonight for Impact ADHD.

My topic tonight? “How to Love Your Way Through Holiday Stress.” Believe me, the irony of that topic was not lost on me while I was putting together this presentation! It may not be the holidays that are stressing me out, but stress is stress.

When I got up this morning, this comment was waiting for me about a blog post I wrote this summer, The Best Reason to Be Happy.

“I’m happy I found this article. It is so true. Everyone should read this first thing in the morning, or right before bed, or whenever needed throughout the day.”

So I went back and read that blog.

Thank you All-That-Is (God, the Universe, Source Energy, Higher Coach—whatever works for you), for the gentle reminder to practice what I preach!

How would it be different if you could be happy on your way to losing weight, recovering from that illness, or even meeting that deadline and planning a new website and program launch?

As I was reminded by what I wrote in July:

Every moment that you deprive yourself of feeling good is like putting yourself in jail and refusing to set yourself free, even though you have the key in your pocket.

Wouldn’t it be better to be happy now?


Allowing yourself to “be happy now” relieves stress, provides positive anabolic support to your body down to the cellular level, and is just plain more fun!

If you really need a reason to be happy, what reason can you use?

I’m re-sharing this list of things you can use as an excuse to be happy now because as my fabulous reader reminded me this morning, everyone should read this list daily. Including me! 

Reasons to be happy now:

  • The sun has risen.
  • You are receiving these words.
  • Someone somewhere loves you. (Probably a lot of someones.)
  • You are alive this moment of this day.
  • You have some form of nourishment available to you.
  • You have clothes for your body.
  • You have a body that is working well-enough for you to understand these words.
  • There is an abundance of air to breathe.
  • No matter what your state of wellness, your body is knocking itself out on your behalf.
  • You have at least one thing that you’re really good at and enjoy doing.
  • You have a lifetime of experiences that are unique to you.
  • You see the world as no one else does, and your perspective is valuable.
  • Even if it seems the same, this day is different from all the others that have come before.
  • Streams and rivers are flowing, and ocean tides are rising and falling.
  • Chances are you have an abundance of clean water to drink.
  • The Earth is spinning and producing resources to support life.
  • There is an abundance of beauty in the world if you will just look for it.
  • The sun will set and will rise again tomorrow.

How can you add to this list?

What is in your life right now that you can use as a reason to be happy? What about your body is working for you? Are there people, places, or animals that you appreciate? What do you find beautiful? Where are you abundant?

How happy are you willing to let yourself feel right now?

Notice how the energy you get from being happy helps you take the actions to get the body you want.

Together we can do it!


My blog is moving!  Beginning today, I’m shifting my blog to my new website LoveYourWaySlim.com. For the next month, I will post both here and there. To keep following my posts after January 15, you will need to follow my new blog. I look forward to continuing the journey with you!

Be Happy Now

Since my body is gently reminding me to appreciate breathing freely, and my folks are in town for Thanksgiving, I thought I would share this mildly tweaked blog from the vaults.

Often, we focus more on those things we don’t have rather than appreciating the gifts and abundance that we do have.

Believe it or not, this is one of the things that keeps women stuck in the rebound weight cycle.

Emotionally—and energetically—there is a huge difference between yearning and appreciating.

There is even a huge difference between yearning and wanting.

You can want to be happy—and believe that it is possible—and can use that to fill yourself with positive emotion to motivate you to make choices that support your body.

Yearning is focused on what you don’t have and is the feeling that you have to have something outside of you to be fulfilled.

The belief that you have to be thinner to be happy is something that inspires yearning in many women.

Wanting a healthy body as part of a full and happy life is allowing life-giving energy to flow through you. Yearning to be thin in order to be happy is shutting that energy down to a trickle.

Yearning for the body you don’t believe you can have is putting off being happy instead of being happy right now.

A great way to practice being happy right now is to take five minutes to write about how grateful you are for all the wonderful things that you currently have in your life. You can write about your body–or not.

It could be that the sun came up, that the clouds are moving in the sky, that you have people in your life that you love–and who love you. It could be the abundance of food in your cupboards, or the gathering of family and friends for Thanksgiving. It could be the love of a pet, or the softness of a blanket.

Write down everything you can appreciate.

And do this everyday.

The more you focus on what you do have, what you can do, and all that you did do, the happier you allow yourself to be right now. And the more positive energy you have to take the actions that will lead you to the body–and life–you really want.

What are the gifts in your life that you can appreciate right now? How can you focus more on that? What actions might that inspire that will help you get the body you want?

Together we can do it!

Get Happy to Get the Body You Want

Do you ever say, “I’ll be happy when I lose weight?”

Think about all the time you lose being happy if you’re waiting for all the conditions to be perfect before you allow yourself to be happy.

How much of your life will you actually spend being happy?

What if being happy now will actually help you get the body you want?

What if, regardless of how much weight you need to lose, the only thing standing in the way of you being happy—is you?

“But,” you might say, “I have a lot of crappy things going on in my life, people have been mean to me, and I’m not where I want to be physically. How can I be happy with all of that?”

That’s the challenge. When you allow life experiences to dictate how you feel, you give up control of your life.

As a result, you may feel like you’re in a tiny rowboat on a raging sea being tossed around from one experience to the next. It’s painful and it’s hard.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. You can begin to transform your rowboat into a beautiful vessel that easily cuts through the waves–regardless of how rough the seas.

To do this, you have to take control of your thoughts and emotions. 

You can do this far more easily than you imagine.

To start, begin choosing what you are going to focus on and how you are going to feel–right now.

So regardless of all the things going wrong in your life, begin focusing as much as possible on the one thing that is going right.

Or take your focus off the bad things and focus on the bigger, better picture. For instance:

The sun came up this morning, the leaves on the trees are starting to turn beautiful colors and there’s a lovely nip in the air. You have an abundance of food to choose from, clean water available with the turn of a faucet, and plenty of air to breathe. There are clothes in your closet, and you have a comfortable bed to sleep in at night. You have a computer or smartphone on which to  read this—and reach out to the world. There are activities that you love to do, and movies and books that make you laugh out loud. There are people in this world who love you—and who you love.

Consciously shifting your thoughts to what is working or is good in your life—for as little as 1 to 5 minutes a day—can profoundly shift how happy you are day in and day out.

It is simple, but powerful. Try it for a couple of weeks and see if you can feel the difference.

Why put off being happy when you could be happy as soon as right now?

Together we can do it!

Wellness Tip of the Day


Wellness Tip of the Day: Self-love is at the core of optimal wellness. Eating healthy, moving your body, and choosing happiness spring naturally from self-value.

You Can Change the Past

What came first, the chicken or the egg?

While I don’t have the answer to that one, I can tell you the thought or belief comes before the experience.

If you can accept that as true at least the majority of the time, it can change your life. Even if you are just willing to believe it’s possible and will look at some of your life experiences differently as a result, it can have a profound impact on your happiness—and how well you achieve your goals.

Most people are unwilling to see their past experiences with any other interpretation than the one they gave it in the moment and have been recounting for years. They think, “That experience was hurtful to me. End of story.”

But what if it’s not? What if it’s your very interpretation that is keeping that painful experience alive for you? That is limiting you? That is holding you back from the body and life of your dreams?

Don’t believe me?

I’ll give you an example of how I shifted an interpretation of a painful experience to one that now inspires me and fills me with appreciation.

When I was in the 7th grade, my brother called me “Buffalo Butt.”

Now this is typical older brother stuff, right?

But to me, that nickname was incredibly hurtful. I felt diminished. For many, many years I carried the belief in my heart that my bum was unattractive, unworthy, less than, and that was the painful story I told myself and believed to my core.

But what if you take the emotional pain and judgment out of the picture for a moment and look at the experience as a gauge of where my thoughts and beliefs were before he made the comment?

What if it was my existing low self-esteem and self-critical thoughts that inspired my brother to make that joke? And what if that comment was totally and purely like having a mirror held up to me of what I already had going on in my head?

Now my brother is not someone who is intentionally trying to hurt me. In fact, his reflection back to me of my existing thoughts and beliefs was actually an opportunity for me to get awareness and change my thoughts.

Now I’m no longer the victim. I’m the creator. I’m in the driver seat. I am empowered.

And the beautiful thing is I was still able to take advantage of that opportunity almost 30 years later when I reflected back on that experience with this new perspective.

What a gift his comment was!  At 13, I was completely in the self-critical weeds and his joke was a perfect reflection of what was already going on in my head.

When I take my brother out of the equation, not only do I let go of long-standing grudges against him (which benefits me down to the cellular level, by the way), I can also change my thinking about myself.

Of course I didn’t have an ugly tush at 13. I can recognize the insecurity for what it was and right now, I can give my 13-year-old-self all the love, acceptance, and appreciation that I wanted in the moment. And if my having an ugly behind was not true at 13, then it is not true now. All that’s ever held me back was my own thoughts and beliefs.

And that right there is like I had a time machine and went back and changed that experience. The past is now and forever altered in my mind.

Once I made that shift, the love and appreciation I had for my body surged. And those new thoughts and beliefs are now creating my current—and future experiences.

And I’ve seen my body change as a result.

How can you begin to see those painful past experiences as purely a reflection of where your thoughts and beliefs were in the moment?

Begin to use them as your gauge of how well you are lining up your thoughts and beliefs with your desires. If you aren’t getting the reflection back that you want, know that you have the power to change your thoughts and beliefs and get a different experience–past, present, and future.

Together we can do it!

Waiting for The Other Shoe To Drop . . .

I have family in town, so I thought I’d share this great blog from my mentor and coach, Jennifer Barley.


Bad things happen in threes. If I am too happy, then something bad will happen. I can’t be this lucky. I’ll never be happy like that again.

It is amazing the stories we tell ourselves and how those stories can change our energy. Perhaps we are just spinning old wives tales, perhaps it is superstition, perhaps we just don’t want to jinx anything.

But what if . . . you could consistently feel good and have things go well in your life all the time? What if you actually believed it?

How freeing would that be?

Wherever you put your energy expands. If you are looking for the third bad thing—well, you’re going to find it. If you are thinking about the other shoe dropping, well you’re going to be looking out for ‘when’ that will actually happen.

Our fear is that something—such as happiness, joy, bliss—will be taken away from us. It can’t. Those qualities live within each of us regardless of anything external or anything that happens to us. It doesn’t mean that life won’t give us a wide spectrum of experiences—but inner qualities can exist regardless of the circumstance.

Don’t feel like you have to hoard your happiness—feel it, expand it, share it, know that it has the potential to always be there. You have to be open to that possibility. Live in a mentality of abundance—not lack.

Allow yourself to imagine the “what if I could experience more joy” mentality. You can. You just have to be open to it.



Jennifer Barley is a Professional Certified Life Coach, public speaker, Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) instructor, author and former award-winning Weight Loss Leader.

It is Jennifer’s strong belief that every person can create whatever life they choose and she partners with her clients to make it happen. She has a strong talent for motivating, inspiring and adding humor to every situation.

Jennifer works with clients one-on-one, in workshop environments, and through online tele-classes. As the KickStart Coach™ Jennifer is committed to providing the support, encouragement, accountability, and motivation that her clients need to get inspired and get in the game.

You can learn more about her at www.jenniferbarley.com and read her blog at http://blog.jenniferbarley.com