Tag Archives: Future

Get the Body You Want Now—and As You Age

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If you are like most women who struggle with their weight, you would like to wave a magic wand and have the body of your dreams just appear.

You may also believe that aging is something that “just happens” to you and that ending up frail and ill is inevitable.

You may not like hearing this, but both of these beliefs have you placed squarely in “victim mode.”

Now I know you could probably point to all kinds of “evidence” of somebody you know being a health nut and dropping dead, or people you care about who ended up with an undeserved illness.

Yes, unfortunate things happen.

But most often you are focused on the worst case scenarios rather than the successes.

You probably also know a grandmother who still runs races or swims, and women who are careful about what they eat—and think!—and look half their age.

What makes you accept that the “worst case” is inevitable for you?

“Well,” you might say, “more people seem to get sick as they age.” Or those people who are thriving “just have good genes,” etc.

 What if there seem like more examples of illness because you are focused on them?

What if the majority of people who are sick now saw other people get sick as they aged, and just accepted that as their future?

What if the belief that this is your inevitable future leads to choices that will result in that future?

What if you have way more control over how well you age than you currently believe?

Yes, there is the risk that you could regularly choose healthy foods and move your body every day—and still have issues as you age.

But the chances that you will live a vibrant, long, and healthy life increase dramatically.

Think about it like money. You may choose to invest your money in what the majority of people tell you is a smart stock option, but there’s still risk that you could end up losing money. But you make the decision to invest for retirement anyway, right?

The decisions you make today are investments in your future. Are you choosing to create a healthy, slim, and strong body—now and as you age—or not?

Letting go of the need for a magic wand to get the body you want and embracing the fact that the decisions you make today matter—for your current and future body—begin to pull you out of “victim mode.”

That chocolate cake is not happening to you. You are choosing to eat it.

And there is nothing “wrong” with eating it.

But ask yourself the question, “Is eating this cake right now helping me move toward the body—now and in the future—that I want?”

Making a conscious choice empowers you. It enables you to become the creator or your life.

What can you do to begin making the decisions to move towards the body you want today? What impact will those decisions have on your body tomorrow?

Together we can do it!

 

We’re Having Fun Now!

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When you think of having fun what comes to mind?

Typically fun is associated with relaxation and recreation (re-creation). For most people, having fun means being on vacation, perhaps at the beach or on a cruise, or having a drink with friends, or being at a sporting event. Fun is defined by being kicked-back with nothing to do and no responsibilities.

While this kind of re-creation is indeed fun and incredibly important for recharging our positive anabolic batteries, when fun is so narrowly defined, most of life is spent not having fun.

What if you were to broaden and expand your definition of fun? What if you began to include what you’re doing?

Fun is laughing so hard you cry, being with friends and family, and feeling free, but it’s also solving problems, achieving a goal, being engaged in the task at hand, and the satisfaction of a job well done.

Fun is pushing yourself to and past your limits, knowing you gave something your all, reaching out to help another, and shifting how you think about a situation, person, or event.

Fun is pursuing things you’re passionate about, embracing who you truly are, learning from experiences that many might call mistakes, and being aligned with your core values.

Fun is taking responsibility for everything in your life, is quiet moments of meditation and appreciation, and is striving for excellence.

Fun is repairing damaged relationships, admitting when you’re wrong or don’t have all the answers, and is striving to be the best possible version of you.

Fun is taking life as it comes, focusing more on where you are than on your future destination, and making decisions that move you towards your ultimate goal.

Fun is seeing the opportunities in every moment, cultivating a belief that everything is always working out for you, and enjoying the heck out of the ride that is life.

How can you broaden your definition of fun to include what you’re doing? How much does that increase the amount of fun you’re having? How might that impact your life?

Together we can do it!

Photo by worradmu / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What Direction are You Headed?

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Whatever you’re thinking about is literally like planning a future event. When you’re worrying, you are planning. When you’re appreciating you are planning. What are you planning?

Abraham

 

I used to be a worrier. It’s not clear how I came to the conclusion that to ward off catastrophe, I needed to hold the problem close in my mind, but that’s what I truly believed. My thoughts were an endless stream of judgment and fear. I practiced worry so much that I was really good at it.

It’s exhausting just to recall it.

Moving beyond that was a process of desire and persistence. I knew that life was supposed to feel better than it was—had to feel better than that awful place—and I wanted to find the way. That desire led me on a quest to find out how. Each book that I read and teacher that I found led me closer and closer to understanding the answer.

When I “got” that my worry was literally like planning a future event and bringing me more things to worry about, I felt panic. I was so good at worry that those thoughts came easily. I didn’t want more of that! The idea that I held the responsibility for my own life and happiness was so overwhelming that I literally had to disregard it.

But you can’t unknow something completely.

Slowly and surely I began shifting my thoughts towards what I wanted, and letting go of control. It took time, persistence, and energy, just like exercising your body takes time, persistence, and energy. It is a process.

Now I am in a much better place where I love and appreciate life and I feel good much of the time. But I know that I’m far from—and will never get to—having it all figured out, and can clap my hands together and proclaim myself, “Done.”

I know this because I have been seeking long enough to watch my mentors and their teachings grow and evolve. I know this because our spirits are eternal, which means an endless opportunity to expand and grow.

No matter where you are, your understanding, love, and joy always has the potential to grow.

Which means just relax. Don’t stress about it—anything really. Slow and steady is all you need to move yourself forward. Just practice focusing more on what you want, forgive yourself when you don’t, and strive to appreciate life moment-to-moment.

 

Do that, and you will be creating the life of your dreams.

Together we can do it!

 

Photo by dan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

Look for the Solution

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It used to be that when I had a problem, I talked to everyone about it. I hashed it and rehashed it, and asked everyone’s advice. What should I do?

Often, people would want me to do things that I really didn’t want to do, which created even more stress and struggle. Sometimes even making small decisions—like where to go to dinner—was laborious and emotionally draining. Typically when the time would come to make a decision, I still wouldn’t make one—which is in itself making a decision—and I would just let events and situations play out.

Talk about giving up all my personal power! It was a painful and unhappy way to live.

Part of the process of taking back my power was to stop talking about the problem. Talking about the problem can feel like we are looking for a solution, but truly it is just making that problem seem more stubborn and feel more insurmountable. You cannot see the solution while you are so intensely focused on the problem.

Shifting your focus to finding the solution takes energy away from the problem and opens your mind to possibilities that you would otherwise be blind to.

So how do you shift from focusing on the problem to focusing on the solution?

Being solution-focused is really being future-focused. You have to look away from “What was” and “What is,” and instead look towards “What will be,” and even more powerful, “How you would like it to be.”

Part of it is also trusting, believing, and knowing that there is always a solution to every problem. This is one of those Universal Truths that people don’t always believe because they are so problem-focused that they often miss the solutions, so they think there wasn’t one. Being solution-focused does take a certain amount of faith or confidence that the solution is there and that you will find it.

Taking responsibility for the choices and decisions you are making is another piece. For instance, if you want to reduce your weight, you have to take responsibility for the food you eat. While your eating can feel out of your control, it isn’t. No one else is forcing you to eat anything. Whether you are conscious of it or not, there is always a thought and emotion behind that action. Until you take responsibility for it, you give up your personal power.

And finally—and probably most challenging—is you have to stop looking outside of yourself for the answer. Sure you want to analyze data, understand the problem, and do your research, but people often get stuck in that analysis phase thinking the solution will magically appear. That’s still being focused on the problem. Once you have a good grip on it, turn your focus towards looking for the future-solution. This is when you want to stop asking other people for their opinions of what you should do.

Other people don’t know who you are, what your experiences have been, where you are on your path, and where you want to go. They know what they want and that is not the same thing.

This is where a coach is helpful. A well-trained coach is not going to give you advice, but instead is keenly aware that you have the answers for you, and helps you find them.

Your path is your path. No one else can walk it. When you take your focus off the problem and instead look for the solution, the absolute best step for you will become clear.

Together we can do it!

Photo by Evgeni Dinev / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Resolve to Feel Good

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I’ve been reading a lot of blog posts about the importance of setting goals and resolutions for the New Year. All of them are right that focusing on new desires is important and gets the life-juices flowing.

But one of the reasons that New Year’s resolutions are often dead by February 1 is that unknowingly, people are focused more on not having the thing they so desperately want. They don’t have enough money, aren’t thin enough, aren’t fit enough, aren’t healthy enough, aren’t organized enough—what they want is missing from their lives and they will finally be happy when they meet their goal.

And even though they set the resolution to get out of debt, lose weight, get fit, healthy, or organized, the majority of their thoughts and energy are still focused on the fact that they lack whatever their resolution is focused on.

When you think about the foundation principle that Energy Attracts Like Energy (also known at the Law of Attraction), you can begin to see that thoughts are our mental capital to invest wherever we want, with the dividends being our future life-experiences.

For instance, when you invest the majority of your mental capital on the fact that you don’t have enough money, you are actually building the account that creates more life experiences without enough money. If you invest that mental capital in the belief that you have more than enough money to meet all of your needs, your account includes an increase in life experiences of having more than enough money.

It’s often difficult to recognize where you are investing your thoughts. It seems like if you are focused on money—regardless if it is lack or abundance of money—you should get more money. It can be incredibly frustrating and discouraging to think you are focused on more money only to continue to get lack of money. But your life experiences are always letting you know where you are investing most of your mental capital.

A good way to tell where you are investing your thoughts and energy is by paying attention to how you feel. Focusing on lack feels like yearning or even desperation. This is why wanting often gets a bad rap; people confuse wanting with yearning. A feeling of lack always feels bad.

Wanting is a feeling of confidence that you will get the thing you desire. It’s knowing the goal you have set is yours. It’s enjoying the thought of what you want and being thrilled as you watch the process of life shifting to help you achieve your goal. It’s feeling engaged and excited to do the things you can do to bring your request to fruition and letting go of what you can’t control with an absolute knowing that the Universe (God, All-That-Is, Higher Self—whatever works for you.) is happily engaging all of its incredible resources on your behalf.

But it can be hard to shift your focus from yearning for something to thriving in the process of life that will bring you to your goal. Often it is easier to move yourself forward by shifting your mental capital from the account of money (or whatever your goal is) and to instead invest it in more general life accounts, such as feeling good most of the time, loving and laughing more easily, and enjoying your life more.

You are still investing your mental capital where you would like to build your life experiences, but there is less risk that the investments aren’t going into the account you truly intend. You can tell if you are investing more wisely because you feel good.

If you want to make New Year’s resolutions, by all means do it. Just pay attention to how you feel, and think about diversifying you mental and energetic investments so that you get a better return. You can tell you are putting your mental capital where you want because you get the immediate bonus of feeling good and having more fun right now.

Together we can do it!

Photo by Grant Cochrane / FreeDigitalPhotos.net