Love Is Good for Your Health

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If you will release all concern about how others feel about you, and focus only upon how you feel about them, you will unearth your core understanding of who-you-really-are, and you will discover what true freedom really is.

Abraham-Hicks

May I share something deeply personal with you?

I’ve been processing a lot of intense emotions the past couple of days. My intention with sharing this part of my story is that it may benefit you on some level. Maybe it will let you know that you are not alone, or that moving through and gaining a different perspective on challenging life experiences is possible. May you find this beneficial in some way.

Last month, I wrote about my father, who died over Thanksgiving weekend.

I had not had any connection with him since I was 15. He was emotionally and physically abusive, and I doubt that many people had any idea of the pain being inflicted on me, my mother, and brothers behind closed doors. It took him almost killing my mother one night for us to find the courage to leave him.

Over the years, I had put a lot of intention around consciously forgiving him, and even came to feel strongly that there was nothing to forgive.

While it was the absolute best decision I could have made to protect myself from any future physical and emotional harm that might have come from having direct contact with him, not forgiving him only hurt me.

Looking back at his upbringing, I had come to understand how he had been broken as a child, and how that had led to his actions with us. I had come to value my childhood experiences as key to who I am today, and to celebrate the different choices and patterns I have been able to make in my life. Where he could not break the cycle of pain, my brothers and I had.

And I thought I had opened my heart to him. When I received news of his death, I felt peace. It felt like the last little bit of my with-holding love relaxed as I envisioned my father on the other side experiencing the pure positive love of All-That-Is.

It was interesting on Friday to have an exchange with someone present in his life with a very different experience of my father. While I felt I listened to and even celebrated their positive memories, I felt saddened about missing out on the father I could have had. While I gave the briefest description of the man we knew, I didn’t dwell on it. I thought we ended the conversation on good terms and I felt positive about having reached out.

On Saturday, I awoke to an email that I am sure the writer did not intend to impact me the way it did. What was written was that my experience challenged their memories and they did not want to have any dealings with them. I felt they dismissed my experiences by saying it had happened in the “short” time I knew him, and it felt like they challenged my integrity and those I am closest to. It brought up old feelings of abandonment, and beliefs about my father not ever loving me.

While I had come to understand that no man is all of one thing—there is “good” and “bad” in everyone—what came up for me was the need to “justify” my father’s horrid behavior. That old victim energy bubbled up. We were the wronged ones, damn it. How dare they say our pain was not real or justified? I felt the need to defend my victim status.

But did I really want to dig my heels in around these challenging experiences? Did I really want to grab hold of them and grip them tight as my “story?” Was this not an opportunity to clean up old energy that had been hiding out under the rug?

I let myself feel these intense emotions with the intention of shifting my perspective.

There was a lot of relief in allowing myself to grieve and rail and condemn. But I was also revisiting some very dark spaces. Part of me was afraid I might get stuck there in that painful place.

But I am no longer the same person I was. I have too much experience moving through my shadow spaces. Not shining the light on them and recognizing that there is dirt there that needs to be cleaned is what prolongs pain.

So I reached out for support to my husband, friends, and family. I leaned into the emotions that were coming up, and recognized that the pain I was feeling was guidance from my Higher Self letting me know I was not thinking about this situation correctly.

Source only sees with the eyes of love. The pain I was feeling was because I was shutting that love off pretty darn effectively.

I began to remind myself of what this situation and my father had looked like through the lens of love I had donned earlier. I tried to look through the lens of love that this other person had for him.

About 3 a.m. this morning, the dog woke me up, and these thoughts flooded back into my consciousness. I began to envision a magnificent room in my heart and someone coming in and pulling the curtains back so that sunlight streamed in. Part of me wanted to hide under the covers and wail and bemoan the nightmare I had experienced. But this loving and kind helper told me it was just that, a nightmare. It would stop as soon as I opened my eyes and got up.

And so I did. In my mind, I walked through these magnificent rooms that were dusty from disuse. I could see some piles of dirt in places. So I pulled out a rag that was soaked in a cleaning solution that was pure positive love. And I began to clean and polish.

As I worked, positive memories of my father returned. I had been putting so much attention on the negative haunts that I had forgotten that there had been any good or fun times. I began to remember again that no man is all dark or all light. We each have some of each within us. And I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God loves and adores the man that was my father.

I could feel my energy shift.

There may be more for me to clean up, but I no longer feel the need to defend the awful memories I have. I have loosened my grip on them. They are no longer part of my current reality. The only one bringing them forward as relevant is me. I can allow the memories of those who loved him to remain intact, and not feel that I am somehow belittled by doing so.

If God loves my father, than that’s what I want to do, too.

When I got up this morning, I felt lighter and restabilized. I felt reconnected to the love of All-That-Is. I remembered my own well-being, which will add to my ultimate wellness.

I did not find the love in my heart for my father. I choose love because it was me that was suffering. It was me who had the key to the prison I created. Aligning with the love of All-That-Is sets me free.

It will set you free, too.

Together we can do it!

banner4This is it! This is my last blog post here! Please follow my new blog at LoveYourWaySlim.com to keep reading. Thank you for all your support here at Goss Coaching. I so appreciate each of you fabulous readers. Much love and blessings to you!

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Slow and Steady Wins the Weight-Loss Race—For Good!

RHow are those New Year’s Resolutions to lose weight coming? Are you still plugging away? Can you feel them starting to waiver? Or have they been put aside to show up on next year’s list?

One of the things that can cause people to pass on meeting their wellness goals is the overwhelming feeling that can come from trying to go from holiday-treat-eating coach-potato to food-measuring athlete all at once.

There really is no rule that says you have to change all of your behaviors at once to succeed.

I didn’t.

Four years ago, for various reasons I went from a runner to a walker to not doing any exercise at all. During that period of inactivity, I didn’t curb my eating and pretty quickly reached my heaviest weightever.

I found myself starting over with exercise and losing weight—again. And it did NOT feel good.

While I hated where I was, I just couldn’t seem to find the energy to get out of bed and move.

So what changed? How did I get going?

I first started mentally preparing.

These mental preparations did include mentally visualizing me moving my body, but most importantly,they were a conscious effort to change my thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.

You see, I was spending a whole lot of my mental energy feeling like a failure.

Here I was in this place of starting over—again! I knew how to diet and exercise, yet, I had failed. Surly this meant I was a weak person, or a slacker, or was somehow inherently flawed.

Those beliefs were not getting me anywhere. In fact, they were keeping me stuck in the spiral of shame and self-loathing that I thought losing weight would fix. But that very shame and self-loathing made it nearly impossible to force-start a new diet and exercise program.

And I was struggling with thoughts and beliefs about how hard working out was going to be, and how much hunger and deprivation I was going to have to endure. I was dreading it. These kinds of thoughts were NOT conducive to starting a successful diet and exercise program.

It was important to take the time to mentally prepare for where I wanted to go.

Action is great, but if you don’t have your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs aligned behind it, it’s not going to create sustainable results.

Part of that mental preparation was gently letting go of the idea that I was somehow a failure. Was I really? I did know what to do. In fact, I was so mentally disciplined that numerous times I had forcedmyself to push past a wall of negative energy to Make Things Happen.

What mattered was my belief in myself. What mattered was that I knew Who I was and what I could accomplish.

Changing those underlying thoughts brought a sense of relief that was enough to begin to shift the momentum of energy in my favor.

Another part of my mental preparation was to think about all the reasons I did want to be slim, fit, and healthy. To imagine how good that would feel.

I took my reasons a lot deeper than just looking good in a pair of jeans. I wanted to fully live a vibrantand fulfilling life. A part of me felt like I wasn’t living up to my full potential. I wasn’t consistently showing up in relationships as the person I wanted to be.  I wasn’t accomplishing everything I wanted to accomplish. I wasn’t showing up in my life as who I knew I intended.

Having physical health, energy, and stamina was critical to be able to step out as the Me I truly wanted to be.

And the final piece of mental preparation?

I reached out for support. Having someone there to confirm that I wasn’t a failure or a slacker, and to tell me that they “knew I could do it” was what tipped the energetic scale enough that I was able to get out of bed on that chilly morning and move!

But that movement would have been a joke to some people. What I considered a huge success was just 10 minutes of any kind of physical movement. Seriously, I counted everything! Counting and celebrating each tiny sign of success continued to build the energetic momentum towards achieving my goals.

And it wasn’t until I was consistently meeting my physical goals that I started thinking about the slow and steady changes I could make with my eating.

The daily mental preparation continued to be critical to my achieving my success. It was the wind that helped me get airborne and support me as I flew.

It was—and continues to be—the critical factor in how I have easily maintained a size 6 now for the past several years.

Yes, it took me a year to lose 34 pounds and get back into great shape. So what?

At the end of that year I was a lot happier having slowly and steadily made those small decisions towards a healthier lifestyle than to try to do too much at once and give up, only to be faced with the same goal and results a year later.

And now several years later, I can tell you taking it slow and steady was totally worth it!

It was that slow and steady, inside out approach that led to sustainable results.

What small mental shift can you make today that will move you towards a healthier lifestyle? Do that for a week and then look for another tiny step to make. Do that consistently and you will build momentum and achieve your goals.

Do that consistently and next January 1 you will be celebrating your success rather than being faced with the disheartening decision to put Losing Weight on your list of New Year’s Resolutions—again.

Together we can do it!

Don’t Wait Until Next Year to Get the Body You Want!

Join the the Love Your Way Slim Coaching Program today! 

This unique program transforms your mindset, integrates your core values and spiritual beliefs, provides exceptional support, and hones in on the most powerful actions you can take to make releasing the weight not only easy and satisfying—but fun! (Yes, it really is possible!)

FIND OUT MORE HERE

Program closes January 12, 2013. It won’t reopen until January 2014!

http://loveyourwayslim.com/coaching-program/

Create the Body You Want From the Inside Out

Spiritual ConnectionI had a client yesterday who said she believed she was a terrible and horrible person.

Youch. That is such a painful place to be.

So I playfully asked if she had stolen any babies lately? Committed any murders? Robbed any banks?

Of course not.

Her worst “crimes” were that in the she’d hurt people’s feelings, had yelled at people, was bitchy sometimes, and wasn’t always productive.

This is normal! No one is the person they want to be 100 percent of the time. I certainly haven’t been, and am sure I will fall short in the future.

This doesn’t make you—or me—a “bad” person.

One of my client’s biggest limiting beliefs is believing that they are less than—less valuable, less important, less smart, less beautiful, less worthy, etc., etc.—than everyone else.

The Truth is, you have intrinsic value—no matter what you do or don’t do.

To begin to see this, start with how you speak to yourself.

  • What do you say to yourself when you look in the mirror?
  • What are your thoughts about yourself?
  • How much praise is there compared to criticism?

Would you speak to someone else the way you speak to yourself? How would they feel if you did? What if you said those things to a child? Would it nourish them, or make them cry?

Often, what you say to yourself would get you arrested if you said it to a child.

If it’s not OK to say to someone else, why is it OK to say to yourself?

You are as unique as a snow flake. There is not anyone else in the world that has had the exact same experiences as you, or who sees the world in exactly the same way. Your unique perspective adds value to this world. You are important to All-That-Is.

You are uniquely gifted. Your gifts add to this world the way an instrument adds to a symphony. Your instrument sounds beautiful all on its own, and adds to the whole when it is joined with others. Your instrument only sounds flat and out of tune when you are being less than Who you truly are.

You are resourceful and are much greater and wiser than you appear to be. Your solution to any problem—including how to release the weight once and for all—is always there if you will but take your eyes off the problem long enough to look for it.

And you are loved more than you can possibly imagine. Not only by your families, but by people whose lives you have touched as no one else has, and most importantly, by the Source of All-That-Is.

Allow yourself to feel that love.

There are no reprimands or limitations in your mind other than the ones you shackle yourself with. No angry hordes will come after you with pitchforks for acknowledging that you are unique, powerful, gifted, resourceful, and loved.

In fact, that spark of good feeling, that sense of upliftment, that outright feeling of joy is letting you know that you are speaking the Truth about yourself—maybe for the first time.

And that good feeling is supporting your body down to the cellular level helping you get the body you want.

Your wellness comes from the inside out. You have to give it to you. You do that by loving yourself first–regardless of what any other person says, thinks, or does.

And when you allow yourself to see and know your value, you will be empowered to consciously create the body—and thus life—you want.

Together we can do it!

  • Are you ready to break the rebound weight-gain cycle once and for all?

  • Is it time to let go of fad diets, restriction, and deprivation so you can create a healthy lifestyle you love?

  • Are you prepared to finally get the body you want?

INTRODUCING . . .

The Love Your Way Slim Coaching Program

This unique program transforms your mindset, integrates your core values and spiritual beliefs, and hones in on the most powerful actions you can take to make releasing the weight not only easy and satisfying—but fun! (Yes, it really is possible!)

I created this program so no other woman would have to struggle to find the solutions. To help you live as the fullest expression of your authentic Divine self, feeling fabulous, slim, and sexy, radiating health and vitality, and fully engaging in creating a life that is meaningful to yourself—and others.

The Love Your Way Slim Coaching Program is THE premier caching program for heart and soul centered women who are ready to create lasting changes to live as the healthy, slim, and sexy woman you want to be!

  • You want to feel body confident—in your clothes and out!
  • You love eating delicious foods—and want to feel soul satisfied.
  • You want to feel energetic and vibrant—fully capable of engaging in every part of your life.

FIND OUT MORE HERE

You are invited to become a member of the Love Your Way Slim Coaching Program with Hanna Goss! For 12 months, you receive top notch support that will transform your body and help you create a lasting lifestyle you love.

This cutting edge program is only open to 5 select soul-centered women who are ready and willing to do what it takes to release the weight once and for all.

Our KICK OFF seminar is January 7, 2013.

I would love nothing more than to see your New Year’s resolution to lose weight—and keep it off—finally become a reality.

FIND OUT MORE HERE

 

http://loveyourwayslim.com/coaching-program/

Feel Skinny in 2013!

Smiling WomanI have a friend who jokes that when she catches sight of her rear-end in the bathroom mirror that she reminds herself that she has great hair.

While this got a laugh during a group lunch, she’s actually onto something.

When you consider the foundation principle that “Energy Attracts Like Energy,” also known as the Law of Attraction, it becomes clear that focusing on the problem just creates more of the problem.

A subtle mental shift towards something you appreciate is a powerful way to shift the negative catabolic energy generated by looking in the mirror and feeling miserable about what you see.

You will know that you’ve successfully made the shift to a more positive anabolic place when you experience a feeling of genuine appreciation for another part of your body.

A woman I worked with used this technique during her journey to lose 40 pounds. Whenever she caught sight of her stomach, which she judged fat and unattractive, she would quickly shift her focus to appreciating her lean and muscular legs.

I used a similar technique on my own weight-loss journey. Whenever I was conscious of my body, I would turn the song “I Feel Pretty” from the Broadway play, West Side Story, into “I Feel Skinny,” and would play it loudly in my head, letting myself truly feel it.

When you look in the mirror, do you love or hate what you see? What can you do to focus more on what you appreciate?

Imagine the impact that positive anabolic energy is having on your body and overall wellness.

Together we can do it!

I’m offering a FREE tele-class to help you revolutionize your weight-loss resolution (so it finally works)!

Transform Your New Year’s Resolution

to Lose Weight!

Make 2013 the Year

You Finally Get the Body You Want  

January 2, 2013, 8 p.m. USA Eastern

In this content-rich seminar you’ll discover:

  • The Top 5 Ways You are Unknowingly Sabotaging Your Efforts to Lose Weight
  • Why Your Weight is Still a Struggle for You and How to Break the Rebound Weight-gain Cycle Once and For All
  • The Surprising Power You Have to Successfully Lose Weight and Improve the Life of You and Your Family
  • 3 Easy Tips to Transform Your New Year’s Resolution and Turn it into a Reality
  • An Exciting NEW Opportunity to “Love Your Way Slim”
  • Plus Much More…

Register today at loveyourwayslim.com/transformyourresolution/ to receive access to this free call.

Feel Holiday Abundance to Get the Body You Want

GiftsYou are incredibly abundant.

Even if you are lonely, have little or no money, are struggling with your body—you are abundant.

You have an abundance of air to breathe, the abundance of love in your heart, the abundance of being alive in this moment.

While money and gifts are certainly a part of abundance and should be appreciated, there is so much more of life with which to fill our trays. It’s all there waiting for us to look for and allow ourselves to see and receive.

Perhaps you have an abundance of family and friends, or an abundance of time in which to reflect, or an abundance of beauty to admire. You may have an abundance of laughter and excitement, or an abundance of peace and quiet. You may have an abundance of parties and commitments, or an abundance of freedom to live and do as you wish.

These are things that do not cost money and that nobody else can give you. They are there waiting for you to acknowledge—and thus receive.

No matter where you are or what’s going on in your life today, look for and acknowledge your abundance.

Feeling abundant is truly part of the magic of the holidays.

When you feel abundant, the more abundance you are allowing into your life. It is the Law of Attraction in action. This is the foundation principle that “Energy Attracts Like Energy.”

So when you acknowledge your abundance, focus on it, and feel it, the more abundance you are able to see and appreciate. The more abundant you feel.

And a significant bonus from feeling abundant is it’s good for your body!

Feeling abundant creates positive anabolic energy that releases endorphins, testosterone, and body supporting hormones that help your body heal, rebuild, and flow with physical energy.

And yes, makes it easier to release excess weight. 

Feeling abundant is literally good for you!

What abundance can you find in your life right now? No matter what it is, acknowledge it and let your heart overflow with appreciation. Then consciously tap into the feeling of abundance all year long.

Notice how feeling abundant makes it easier to get the body you want.

Together we can do it!

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My blog is moving! To keep following my posts after January 15, you will need to follow my new blog, at LoveYourWaySlim.com. I look forward to continuing the journey with you!

 

 

Open Your Heart to Get the Body You Want

Love yourself leanHave you ever shut your heart to someone?

I know I have. Withholding love is a very common reaction when people are not living up to your expectations, or you truly believe what they are doing is wrong.

With what happened in Connecticut last week, you may believe that there are things that people have done that are plain unforgivable.

It can be easy to feel justified in judging the culprit as unworthy of your love.

I totally get that.

When I was a kid, I was emotionally and physically abused by my father. And I doubt that many people had any idea of the pain being inflicted on me, my mother, and brothers behind closed doors. It took him almost killing my mother one night for us to find the courage to leave him.

At the age of 15, I severed all connections with my father.

I think most people would say I was justified in withholding love from him. And I did for a long time.

While it was the absolute best decision I could have made to protect myself from any future physical and emotional harm, not forgiving him only hurt me.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

–Buddha

Shutting your heart down—even for the best of reasons—does not actually punish the other person. And it is far more detrimental to you.

The negative reaction is felt in your body, not theirs. And it is causing you physical harm.

This is why practicing forgiveness and unconditional love is so powerful.

By allowing yourself to give love—no matter what—you’re providing yourself with constructive, positive energy that actually boosts your immune system and helps heal and rebuild your body at the cellular level. And yes, helps you get the body you want.

Over the years, I let go of the anger, hurt, and pain that I experienced in the relationship with my father. Not only did I come to forgive him, but I began to see there was actually nothing to forgive.

You see, I learned so much about myself and what I wanted as a result of those experiences.

  • I learned that I had a powerful voice when twice he came to my bed—and I said “No.”
  • I got crystal clear on what I didn’t want out of a relationship, which I think was necessary to figure out what I did want. That clarity is absolutely the reason I chose the amazing man who has been my husband for 20 years.
  • I became who I am right now—and that is a strong, powerful, loving woman who has so much to offer the world.

From where I am now, I truly value those experiences—and my father.

On Saturday, I received news that my father had died.

What I felt was peace.

I could feel the last little bit of my with-holding love relax as I envisioned my father on the other side experiencing the pure positive love of All-That-Is.

From now on, all I will ever give to—or receive from—him is love.

The timing of my learning of my father’s death felt meaningful to me. Many of you may be experiencing significant grief and anger from the events that occurred on Friday. And certainly, women who struggle with their weight often carry the wounds of abuse.

So I’m sharing my story with you, not to make you feel like you need to find forgiveness, love, and peace today, but to let you know it’s worth striving for. It’s worth feeling the pain and moving through it. That you can let go of the hot coal, and that your life will be so much more wonderful than you ever imagined as a result.

Where people often get stuck is feeling like loving someone anyway is the same as condoning that awful behavior.

This is where it is helpful to remember that the Universe (God, Higher Power, All-That-Is–whatever works for you), is involved in that other person’s life, too, and that each of you is receiving guidance.Your job is to pay attention to your reactions and move towards the bigger part of you. Your guidance will always lead you to the best outcome for you.

Begin to notice when you are shutting your heart down. Pay attention to how uncomfortable that feels.Recognize that it’s up to you to change your reaction.

Where in your life are you withholding love? What can you do today to open that door in your heart just a little bit? Notice how much better that feels.

Together we can do it!

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My blog is moving to my new website LoveYourWaySlim.com. To keep following my posts after January 15, you will need to follow my new blog. I look forward to continuing the journey with you!

Take the Time to Transform Your Relationship With Your Body

Self LoveHave you ever been in a relationship with someone who was a “Taker?”

You went above and beyond giving your time, energy, support, maybe even gifts and money—and you never even got a thank you? 

You gave and gave and gave—and still, more was expected of you? 

If you know what I’m talking about, this may be challenging to hear.

You may be “the Taker” in your relationship with your body.

Because what you have going with your body is a relationship in every sense of the word. Your relationship with your body is the longest—and most important—of your life. There is no reconciling from that divorce!

Chances are you don’t appreciate your body and how hard it’s working on your behalf. And you’re probably actively dumping on it and criticizing it for not doing more.

You may constantly tell your body it’s:

  • Ugly
  • Too fat.
  • Too weak.
  • Too sluggish.
  • Too slow to heal.
  • That there’s something wrong with it.

You may constantly tell your body how much you hate it.

Plus, you may be giving it low-quality fuel, little to no water, and vacillate between too little movement and too much.

How long would a person stay healthy in a relationship like that? Is it any wonder your body begins showing up overweight, aching, and breaking down with illness?

The fact is, billions—if not trillions—of cells are giving their lives for your wellness and well-being right now.

Your body is literally giving you everything its got.

Without your having to think about it at all:

  • Your heart is beating in and out.
  • Blood is pumping through your veins.
  • Life-giving oxygen is flowing into your lungs.
  • Your brain is functioning well enough for you to read these words.
  • Nutrients and fluids are being processed in your digestive system.
  • Your bones are supporting every part of your body.
  • Your feet and legs are carrying you everywhere you want to go.
  • Your hands are helping you accomplish everything you want to do.
  • Your hips are supporting you as you sit and read this.
  • Your spine is holding you upright.
  • Your immune system is in overdrive working to heal everything from a scrape to disease.
  • You’re able to register some sensation, be it touch, taste, smell, sight, and hearing.
  • You can smile at someone you love.

How often do you stop and really appreciate everything your body is doing on your behalf?

How often is your only response to criticize it, give it food with little nutritional value, and to sit for long periods of time?

Just think about how healthy you are despite what you give—and what you say!—to your body.

I know. Because for 35 years, I was a “the Taker” in my relationship with my body.

When I finally “got” what I was doing to my body with my constant barrage of criticism, my binging on unhealthy food, and my sedentary lifestyle, I was blown away that it was still functioning as well as it was.

Our bodies are truly amazing and deserve our appreciation and praise, as well as generally supportive food and movement.

Stop being “the Taker” in the relationship with your body.

Begin to look for all the ways your body is supporting you, instead of focusing on all the ways it’s letting you down.

Become more aware of what you’re feeding it, and begin to choose more nourishing foods. Pay attention to how much you move it—is it enough or too much?

Your body will tell you what it needs if you will begin to listen. 

Trust that your body wants nothing more than to have a wonderful, loving relationship with you. Just imagine what it will give back to you when you give it the loving support it needs.

Together we can do it!

Design Your Future

 

My blog is moving to my new website LoveYourWaySlim.com. For the next month, I will post both here and there. To keep following my posts after January 15, you will need to follow my new blog. I look forward to continuing the journey with you!