Take a Restraining Order Out On Yourself

How long would you want to hang around someone who was constantly critical of how you looked, what you did, what you said, or how you acted?

Would they be the friend you went to for support when you were down, or to celebrate your success? Let’s hope not!

Loving support is about building you up, cheering you on, and having someone who believes in their heart that you can do anything that you set your mind on achieving.

Now look at how you treat yourself. Are you critical and demanding or loving and supportive?

If you are like most women, you say things to yourself that you would never say to a friend or loved one.

I’ve watched women give themselves a little slap along with a bit of self-criticism. “I should have thought of that.” Slap. “I’m so sassy.” Slap. “I can’t believe I did that.” Slap.

Many verbally abuse themselves for things like not being able to maintain a positive attitude in the face of real challenges, being less than perfect, and not looking the way fashion magazines say they should look.

In relationships where someone is verbally or physically abusing another, a court will step in and issue a restraining order to the keep the other person from inflicting any more harm.

It’s time to take a restraining order out on yourself.

Begin to ease up on the demands and criticisms you direct towards yourself. Look for and celebrate the signs of the progress you are making rather than the distance you haven’t yet traveled. Catalog and have confidence in the things you do well.

Treat yourself as you would treat another.

What can you do to draft yourself as an ally to support you in achieving your goals? How does changing how you treat yourself alter how others treat you? How much better does loving and supporting yourself feel?

Together we can do it!

Photo from www.freedigitalphotos.net

Feel the Relief

Every feeling you have is either a derivative of love or fear. Like opposite ends of a magnet, the feelings that you have are moving you closer to one pole or the other. Where you spend most of your time is reflected in how you experience life.

Is what you are feeling most of the time closer to joyful, appreciative, content, hopeful or frustrated, angry, overwhelmed, depressed? As a result, do you see the world as a happy or scary place?

While many people think their feelings are out of their control, this isn’t actually the case. What you are feeling is tied directly to what you are thinking.

You may believe that what you are thinking about a situation is etched in stone. The situation is the situation after all. It’s either good or bad, right? How could you possibly think something different about it?

We begin to take control of our thoughts and emotions when we recognize that what we think and feel is a choice.

For instance, I can focus on the rain that is falling right now, the thunder that has my dog anxious, and the gloomy sky, or I can focus on the mild temperatures we are having in the middle of January, how our drought-lowered water table is being refilled, how animals in the wild have plenty of water to drink, and come spring, the wild flowers that will be abundant.

And if a situation is truly so bad that you can’t shift your thoughts about it, then as often as possible, figure out how you can take your mind off that topic. You will not be giving it freedom to get worse if you give your mind a rest to think about something that you do feel good about.

Letting go of your grip on worry and stress—even for a minute here and there throughout your day—can actually help you see solutions that you otherwise would have missed.

This is where it’s helpful to tap into your spiritual beliefs. You can feel a sense of relief when you put your mental burden in the hands of a power bigger than yourself, that understands the story behind you and to come, that has such a broad perspective that the solution is clear, and that has the capacity to create the Universe and that will use all of its resources working on your behalf.

However you can get there, a feeling of relief is all you need to strive for. Trying to jump from depression to joy will just bring you crashing painfully to the ground. The small step of a feeling of relief is all that you need to move you closer to the love-side of the magnet.

The more you step your thoughts towards love, the more you love your life.

What can you do today to alter your thoughts to create a feeling of relief? Do that, and repeat.

Together we can do it!

Photo by dan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net