Feel the Relief

Every feeling you have is either a derivative of love or fear. Like opposite ends of a magnet, the feelings that you have are moving you closer to one pole or the other. Where you spend most of your time is reflected in how you experience life.

Is what you are feeling most of the time closer to joyful, appreciative, content, hopeful or frustrated, angry, overwhelmed, depressed? As a result, do you see the world as a happy or scary place?

While many people think their feelings are out of their control, this isn’t actually the case. What you are feeling is tied directly to what you are thinking.

You may believe that what you are thinking about a situation is etched in stone. The situation is the situation after all. It’s either good or bad, right? How could you possibly think something different about it?

We begin to take control of our thoughts and emotions when we recognize that what we think and feel is a choice.

For instance, I can focus on the rain that is falling right now, the thunder that has my dog anxious, and the gloomy sky, or I can focus on the mild temperatures we are having in the middle of January, how our drought-lowered water table is being refilled, how animals in the wild have plenty of water to drink, and come spring, the wild flowers that will be abundant.

And if a situation is truly so bad that you can’t shift your thoughts about it, then as often as possible, figure out how you can take your mind off that topic. You will not be giving it freedom to get worse if you give your mind a rest to think about something that you do feel good about.

Letting go of your grip on worry and stress—even for a minute here and there throughout your day—can actually help you see solutions that you otherwise would have missed.

This is where it’s helpful to tap into your spiritual beliefs. You can feel a sense of relief when you put your mental burden in the hands of a power bigger than yourself, that understands the story behind you and to come, that has such a broad perspective that the solution is clear, and that has the capacity to create the Universe and that will use all of its resources working on your behalf.

However you can get there, a feeling of relief is all you need to strive for. Trying to jump from depression to joy will just bring you crashing painfully to the ground. The small step of a feeling of relief is all that you need to move you closer to the love-side of the magnet.

The more you step your thoughts towards love, the more you love your life.

What can you do today to alter your thoughts to create a feeling of relief? Do that, and repeat.

Together we can do it!

Photo by dan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What’s Your Holiday Focus?

For the past several days, I have been more focused on what I don’t want then what I do want.

  •  I’ve been focused on not eating sugar instead of eating for health and wellness.
  • I’ve been focused on my worry over gaining weight instead of being confident in my ability to maintain my weight.
  • I’ve been focused on all the things I can’t do because I am recovering from surgery instead of what I can do.
  • I’ve been focused on being bored instead of milking every ounce of rest and relaxation out of this recovery time.

Just remembering that what I focus on is a choice feels so much better! With that reminder to myself, I will practice shifting my focus every time I notice that I am feeling out of sorts. Like magic, not only do I feel better, but I have more fun, my stress level drops, and life unfolds in a more beautiful way.

For many people, the holidays are a time where they focus on stress, too much to do, family squabbles, and maybe even judgment, disappointment, sadness, and loss.

This is all focusing on what you don’t want.

What can you do to shift your focus to all the opportunities presented by the holidays? Here’s what those new thoughts might look like:

  • I’m choosing to do these extra things because I love my family and want them to have the best holiday ever.
  • I will do what I can, and am willing to let go of those things that really aren’t a priority.
  • I am going to focus on how I show up at family gatherings, and will let go of past problems and expectations.
  • The past is over. I have a new opportunity right now to create a better-feeling present and future.
  • I recognize that the holiday season is about love, forgiving, and giving, and I’m going to demonstrate that to everyone I encounter.

Don’t beat yourself up if you catch yourself focused on what you don’t want. We all fall into that pattern sometimes. Just gently and persistently shift your thoughts to what you do want.

Practice focusing on what you want, who you want to be, what you want to do, and how you want to feel. What difference does that make in your life?

Together we can do it!


Photo by suphakit73 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Choose Your Focus

I’ll admit to some nerves this morning.

Some of it is from my husband who told me last night that he is feeling anxious about my surgery tomorrow, which I think is pretty normal and expected.

Some of it is my very full schedule today that includes an early meeting that is compressing my time to blog. OK, a lot of it is just that there is so much to get done today!

Some of it is anticipating all the new things I’m going to experience in the next 48 hours and trying to follow all the steps that are required, such as bathing tonight and tomorrow morning with germ-killing soap, not taking anything—not even an aspirin—and not eating or drinking anything past midnight.

Some of it is reminding myself that I can’t hit automatic pilot and accidentally put on lotion or forget to take off my nail polish, and then there is just trying to think through all logistics. Have I missed anything?

As I sat down to write and felt those nerves, I reminded myself to take a deep breath and to choose my focus.

I can focus those nerves into anxiety, or I can turn those butterflies into excitement that will help keep me focused and give me the energy to get everything done.

I can make this stressful by focusing on everything I have to do, or I can make this fun by prioritizing and tackling those things that I want to get done.

I can make this scary by focusing on the unknowns, or I can think of this an adventure and be confident in my well-being and the great care I’ll receive from well-trained doctors and nurses at a hospital that has an awesome reputation.

What I focus on is a choice, and it is my intention to use this experience to practice focusing on what I want, who I want to be, what I want to do, and how I want to feel.

Photo by luigi diamanti's http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=879True freedom comes when we realize our joy is totally within our control. It doesn’t matter what the situation is. We can focus on the beautiful and aromatic rose, or we can focus on the danger and potential pain caused by the thorns.

What are you focusing on? How could shifting your attention from what you don’t want to what you do want make a difference? Decide right now that today is going to be an awesome day!

I know I have.

Together we can do it!

Keep Going in the Right Direction

A lot of my clients feel like they have to figure out exactly where a problem started. They want to analyze and dwell on it and determine how it’s impacted them every step along the way.

I totally get this, as I once felt that need. And it can be helpful to make a new choice when you understand the one you have been consistently making.

But it’s often not necessary.

If you get lost driving in a new town but you’re able to get pointed back in the right direction, how helpful is it to turn around and look for the exact moment where you made the decision that led to a wrong turn? Won’t you get to your destination faster if you just keep going in the right direction?

In situations where healing is not the primary agenda (which is where a qualified therapist is most needed), what seems to be at the heart of this desire is a lack of confidence that they’re moving in the right direction, and a fear of meeting their goals.

When you think about the underlying principle that Energy Attracts Like Energy (also known at the Law of Attraction), being overly focused on where you are—or where you have been—just keeps summoning similar experiences, situations, and people so that your results never seem to change. This can lead to frustration, disillusionment, and even giving up on achieving your goal.

It is far more helpful to set your focus on who you want to be and the life you want to create now. Not with yearning, but with confidence and determination.

But how do you bridge that gap between the person you have been and having the confidence that you are creating the person you want to be?

This is the real work, isn’t it? It’s testing your footing by taking baby steps, and doing what you can do. It’s looking at the examples of others who have already been successful. It’s staying focused on all the reason you do want to make the change and what you want the end result to be. It’s ignoring your fearful gremlin that tries to convince you that the safety of right now is where you want to stay. It’s cutting away old inaccurate thought processes and beliefs that limit your progress, and celebrating each tiny step that leads you in the right direction.

And this is where faith comes in. It’s letting yourself believe that the Universe (God, Source, All-That-Is, Higher Power—whatever works for you) is on your side, regardless of your current experience. It’s a willingness to let yourself be optimistic and to feel good now, even when your situation hasn’t changed. It’s accepting what you have and where you are, without letting go of your goals. It’s an unshakable belief that what you want is absolutely and completely yours and on its way to you, and letting go of any evidence to the contrary. It’s ignoring naysayers, and being brave enough to think and believe something different from the crowd. It’s looking inside for the answers and embracing your own internal light.

In my own journey, I’m laser focused on optimal wellness. I have an unshakable knowing that it is mine, and my surgery next week is just an action step taking me closer to that reality. I am focused on and determined to do those things that are within my control, such as eating healthy foods and exercising. And I’m feeling excited about this new adventure I am embarking on.

What can you do to focus more on creating the person that you want to be, rather than dwelling on the person you have been?

Together we can do it!