Every situation is an opportunity to learn, grow, and live life to the fullest. How good you feel is a choice—and is impacting your body.
Wellness Tip of the Day: Is the emotion behind your actions closer to love or fear? Is that the foundation you want for your body—and life? It’s your choice.
While I’m in Sedona, Arizona, attending a business mastermind retreat, I’m sharing one of my favorite past blogs.
Last night I took a look at all the things that are pretty commonly thought of as requirements for being healthy.
Things like eating healthy foods, exercise, drinking water, getting enough sleep, etc.
What was different was that instead of evaluating how well I am doing in each category–which leaves plenty of room for self-judgment—I looked at how I am approaching each thing.
- Is it something I “won’t” or “can’t” do?
- Is it something I “have to” do?
- Is it a “need to” do?
- Or is it something I “choose to ” or “choose not to” do?
This may sound like semantics, but in truth, the positive anabolic energy generated in approaching everything as a choice is like putting a rocket launcher on your ability to achieve your goals.
When you make working-out something you “choose-to” do, you are empowered. Even when you choose not to exercise today, you cut out all the guilt and self-punishment, and are still empowered.
Telling yourself you “can’t or “won’t” exercise removes all choice and generates negative catabolic energy that bogs down your momentum like wheels getting stuck in mud.
Feeling like you “have to” workout is only a little better because your ability to choose is still limited.
Telling yourself you “need to” work out gives you more of a choice and starts to shift your momentum.
Choosing your actions gives you total control.
It was empowering just looking down this list with my fabulous mentor coach Jennifer Barley and seeing that in eight out of 12 categories, I am functioning at not only a “choose to” level, but a strong “want to!”
Taking out judgment left me feeling confident about my ability to achieve my wellness-goals.
For instance, it doesn’t matter that I am choosing to decrease the intensity of my workouts for the time being because of tweaking the muscles in my back (something I have been judging myself for).
What is important is that I am still choosing to work out five to six times a week for a minimum of 30 minutes doing what I can do. I’m still empowered and moving towards my goal; more slowly perhaps, but still forward.
That left only four categories that I feel I “need to” be doing to be healthy.
Instead of judging my overall wellness based on some room for improvement, I can separate out those few categories and work on shifting my thoughts around them from “Need to” to “Choose to.” That feels much more doable and like something, well, I “want to” do!
Here’s how to do this exercise for yourself.
- What is your wellness goal?
- Make a list of all the things that you believe you “have to” do to achieve it.
- Then rank how you are approaching those things.
Are you closer to the disempowered “have to” or the empowered “choose to?” What can you do to move any low-energy areas to things that you “want to” do? How different does that feel?
Together we can do it!
Are you struggling with your weight?
Are you worried about holiday weight gain?
Are you ready to get the body you really want?
I have 2 coaching spaces open to help you love your way slim. If you are serious about transforming your mind and body so that:
- You create the holidays you really want and never feel deprived.
- You start the New Year energized and feeling fabulous.
- You break the cycle of losing and regaining weight—once and for all.
Secure your spot now by emailing me at email@example.com by November 11 to schedule your complimentary breakthrough session. These powerful and empowering sessions are available on a limited basis.
Don’t wait till Jan 2 to take inspired action. Start creating the body—and life—you want today.
Wellness Tip of the Weekend: Make everything you do today a choice. Empower yourself by choosing each action, and let go of can’t, won’t, have to, and need to.
One of the things I love about stepping outside my comfort zone is that my shadow side may show up. That’s the part of me that is insecure, defensive, judgmental—you get the idea. It’s an amazing opportunity to practice showing up as authentically me—regardless of the people or situation.
The authentic me is loving and accepting. The authentic me sees my value—and the value in each person and situation. The authentic me knows that there are no mistakes and that the diversity of people and opinions is what makes the world go round. The authentic me knows that speaking my truth with ease and grace will be a gift to others, even if it doesn’t seem like it in the moment.
If I am acting out of anger, frustration, defensiveness, fear, judgment, or condemnation, I’m not being authentically me—and I have the opportunity to make a difference choice.
The onus is on me to stay connected to my Higher Self (God, All-That-Is, Universe, Source—whatever works for you) and to pay attention if I am coming from a place of love or a place of anger, a place of appreciation or a place of fear.
One way for you to stay authentic and maintain your connection to your Higher Self in relationships—particularly if you have a history of pushing each other’s buttons—is to actively focus on all the good qualities of the other person. To literally practice seeing them in the best light.
There are a couple of ways to do this.
Create a list of all the things about the other person that you appreciate, and read and add to it every day.
Practice a visualization. See yourself bathed in a golden light that feels like joy and love, and then expand that light to include other people. First extend the light to the people you love and get along with easily. As the light grows brighter and more powerful, expand it to include more challenging people.
You may think that it’s the other person who needs to change so that you all can get along, but you are contributing just as much to the difficult dynamics. It’s up to you to show up differently.
The only person you can control is you. Choose now how you want to show up. Practice showing up authentically.
And if you do react in a less than ideal way—as I guarantee that you sometimes will—the primary thing to do is forgive yourself. You don’t have to be perfect. Just pick yourself up and keep practicing being the best possible version of you so you show up more authentically the next time.
Together we can do it!
Wellness Tip of the Day: Freedom is found in wellness. Take charge of your independence of thought, response and choice. Claim dominion over your body and mind.
What if every moment of every day you have the choice to focus on what you don’t want or what you do want? That creating the life of your dreams is just a matter of deciding what you want, knowing that it is absolutely and completely yours, and staying in that confident place regardless of what other people say, or the circumstances that are unfolding?
The process is simple but far from easy, particularly since it seems like outside people, places, situations, and things are definitely impacting you. And everyone around you thinks they are at the mercy of these outside influences, and often remind you that you are, too.
It can be challenging to go against the typical mental-flow. As you read these words, it may feel right that you are more in control of your life than you can possibly imagine, but as soon as you are in your car and hit traffic, or someone complains to you, or you feel overwhelmed, you’re right back in that mode of life having control over you.
When people begin working to shift their focus to what they do want, they often think the shift should happen effortlessly. They are surprised that it feels like work.
But think about it. If you spend the majority of your time sitting passively in front of a computer or TV and are not doing any exercise, how likely is it that you will just be able to get up one day and go out and run 10 miles? In that case, you would expect that you need to train.
First, you would decide that you want to run 10 miles. Then you might plan how you are going to do it by setting up a running and workout schedule. Then you would commit to following the schedule and doing the workout every day. If you missed a workout, you wouldn’t beat yourself up. You would just get up the next day and do the planned workout. As you practice running you would start to see changes—you can run further, your lung capacity expands, and muscles develop in your legs. Do that consistently over a period of time, and you will master running 10 miles.
Why should it be any different to build your mental muscles?
You have to decide that you are willing to do the work to gain the mental strength to focus on what you want—no matter what—because you want to love your life. You want to plan how you are going to achieve that goal. Are you going to meditate every day? Keep an appreciation journal? Work with a coach? Then you will want to commit to following your plan. Slowly but surely, you practice shifting your thoughts and feelings. You gain new insights into how the world works, and let go of limiting beliefs and patterns that have been holding you back. Over time, you notice that you can make the mental shifts faster, your consciousness expands, and you are mentally stronger. Do that consistently and you will master your focus and thoughts, and will fall in love with life.
To get to the place where joy is totally within your control, all you have to do is decide, plan, commit, and practice consistently. If you do that, it won’t happen overnight, but it will happen.
What can you do today to strengthen your mental muscles to create the life of your dreams?
Together we can do it!
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