Tag Archives: Children

Harry Potter and the Quest to Be You

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In previous blog posts I’ve professed my love of Harry Potter. More often than not, when I put a book down with a satisfied sigh and desire for the story to continue, it was labeled for children or young adults.

But as an English major, embracing my love of children’s literature felt taboo. I “should” read novels that improve my mind, challenge my humanity, and inspire deep book-club conversations.

While I certainly can analyze prose and burrow around for deeper meaning, I really don’t enjoy it. That’s not what inspired my love of reading as a child. What I loved then—and now—was the flight of imagination, the struggle between good and evil, with good always prevailing, and a foundation in a Universal truth, such as there is nothing more powerful than love.

It took me a long time to embrace this preference as a part of Who I am and to let go of those books that lay neglected on my coffee table either unopened or partially read because they were what I “should” be reading. It took me even longer to stop pretending that I was reading those books and instead share my enthusiasm for the children’s book I was currently in love with.

While embracing my preference for something as inconsequential as reading material may not seem like a big deal, determining what you enjoy and accepting that instead of struggling with what you think you “should” like based on other’s expectations is an important step in being the best possible version of you.

My not acknowledging this part of me led to long bouts where I didn’t read anything at all because I felt so guilty about not liking what I “should” be reading. It inspired a failed try to join a book club that resulted in spoiled friendships. It generated a lot of self-doubt and –criticism, and the fear of other’s judgments kept me from connecting with people who actually do share my passion.

In short, it contributed to my overall feeling of unhappiness and created a lot of negative, catabolic energy that released stress chemicals and other harmful physical processes. It inhibited my ability to achieve optimal wellness and a vibrant life.

Part of being the best possible version of you is letting go of Who you think you should be and embracing Who you really are.

There is a fine line, however, between determining and doing the things that you love, and drawing a boundary around yourself and automatically rejecting new things and experiences. This shuts off personal growth and can also keep you from pursing the ever-changing mark of the best possible version of you.

The perfect balance in the Quest to be You is letting go of what you don’t like, embracing what you do, and looking for new things, people, and experiences that align with you.

Where are you holding on to something that you really don’t enjoy? What is something that for whatever reason you haven’t allowed yourself to enjoy before? How do you feel when you embrace that, and do more of that? What else would be fun to explore?

Together we can do it!

Photo by jannoon028 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Open Your Heart to Wellness

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I know what it feels like to shut my heart to someone because they are not behaving as I think they should.

Withholding love is a very common reaction when people are not living up to the standards we have set.

This could range from a lover choosing to spend time with friends instead of with you, to someone committing a terrible crime.

When someone does not live up to our or society’s rules, we feel justified in judging them as unworthy of our love. This is one way that we “punish” them.

But shutting our hearts down—even for the best of reasons—does not actually punish the other person as we think it does—and it is far more detrimental to us.

The catabolic reactions are felt in our bodies, not theirs. These are the draining and destructive body processes—such as the release of stress hormones—that actually eat away at our cells.

This is why practicing forgiveness and unconditional love is so powerful. By allowing ourselves to give love—no matter what—we are providing ourselves with constructive, anabolic energy that actually heals us from the inside out.

Withholding love is something we learned—it is not our natural way of being. Look at the love and joy that flows through little children. But almost from day one, we begin giving children the lesson that if they behave in a certain way, they will make us happy and we will then love them. It doesn’t take long for children to learn that control is a part of love.

Begin to notice when you are shutting your heart down. Pay attention to how uncomfortable that feels. Recognize that it’s up to you to change your reaction—it is not up to the other person to change their behavior.

Where people often get stuck is feeling like loving someone anyway is the same as condoning that awful behavior. This is where it is helpful to remember that the Universe (God, Higher Power, All-That-Is–whatever works for you), is involved in that other person’s life, too, and that each of you is receiving guidance. Your job is to pay attention to your reactions and move towards the bigger part of you. Your guidance will always lead you to the best outcome for you.

Where in your life are you withholding love? What can you do today to open that door in your heart just a little bit? Notice how much better that feels.

Together we can do it!

 

Photo by graur razvan ionut / FreeDigitalPhotos.net