The Three P’s of Change

Last year at this time, I was preparing to undergo a full hysterectomy. I came through the surgery beautifully, and thought I would share some of what helped make that challenge such a wonderful opportunity.


I was thinking this morning about what it will take for me to rebound from my surgery next week.

What it boils down to is Persistence, Practice, and Patience.

These 3 P’s of Change are true regardless of whether you’re recovering from surgery or illness, working to lose weight, or making some other life change.


When you’re finally ready to make a change, you may want it to happen right now.

That impatience makes the process very frustrating and fraught with ups and downs. At the very least, this can make the journey unpleasant, and worse can cause you to get so discouraged that you give up on achieving your goal.

Being Persistent is key.

Persistence is mostly a mind thing. It’s being determined in the moment to make the decision that will move you towards your goal, rather than choosing the option that will maintain you where you are, or even set you back.

After my surgery, I will need to consistently make the decision to eat healthy foods to give my body the nutrients it needs to heal and recover—and not fall into comforting myself with holiday treats. And I will need to move as much as I can. Not only does the doctor say that walking will speed my recovery, but consistently doing what I can will help keep me in the exercise habit so as I am feeling better it will be easier to motivate myself to get moving.


There are typically some routine actions that have to be Practiced consistently to facilitate making a change.

For instance, if you’re losing weight, you have to practice eating healthy foods in moderate amounts and moving your body.

There are things you can do to facilitate these regular practices.

If you’re dieting, you can plan your meals for the week so that you have the right food on hand, stick to a schedule of regular eating, and stay on track with calories.

The actions that I want to practice to facilitate my recovery include meditating, eating nutritious meals, walking, and resting.

To facilitate these, I intend to maintain my practice of meditating upon waking. For the past several weeks, my husband and I have made big batches of healthy soups and frozen much of it so that we’ll have easy, nutritious meals on hand. This weekend I also plan to lay in lots of fruit, fat-free Greek yogurt, and other healthy snacks that don’t require any preparation.

Apparently they will get me up for my first walk while I am in the hospital, so I have set some minimum goals for myself for walking on the treadmill when I get home. And certainly I plan to enjoy a lot of naps, reading, and movies.


The biggest gift you can give yourself when making changes is Patience.

You need to make peace with the fact that change will not happen overnight. And you may make decisions in the moment that aren’t the best, or you may miss an opportunity to practice some of the actions you set for yourself.

This is normal!

One of Bill Phillips’ mantras in his book, “Transformation,” is “progress not perfection.”

Change is about consistency, not being perfect. The quicker you can forgive yourself, the faster you can get back on track.

There are a lot of unknowns about how I’m going to feel after my surgery next Wednesday. Perhaps Thursday I’ll need to sleep all day and I won’t get my planned walk in, or the only thing I’ll feel like eating is toast. That’s OK. While I want to push myself to do those things that will help me recovery quickly, I’m also going to be sensible about it and listen to my body.

Over the weeks of my recovery, I plan to eat some of the lasagna a friend has promised to bring over and I will allow myself to enjoy some holiday treats—in moderation—and I’m not going to beat myself up about it. I am going to strive for consistency, not perfection. By not holding myself to an impossible standard, I’m much more likely to be successful in the long run.

Where could the changes you’re making—or plan to make—stand to have some Persistence, Practice, or Patience?

How could using the three P’s make a difference in your success?

Together we can do it!


Catch the Wave of Change

I’m heading to Sedona, Arizona, to attend a business mastermind retreat and am sharing one of my favorite blogs from the past. I’m also sending much love and positive energy to my clients, readers, collegues, and friends who have been dealing with the sudden changes brought by Hurricane Sandy. Be patient with yourselves as you deal with the intensity of this upheaval.

While it can seem like we are basically living the same day over and over again, that’s actually a fallacy. You may be following the same routine, but all around you is change.

The clouds in the sky will never be exactly the same pattern again. The birds and animals will never be in the exact same place. The cars and people moving around in their day are in totally new perspectives and positions from one another. The people we see and talk too are different, and even the words that we say to the people who are most consistent in our lives will be different.

This is truly a new day.

There is a basic life principle that says, “The Only Constant is Change.” We live totally immersed in change because it’s the normal process of life.

The problem comes when we refuse to accept change as a natural process, and instead try to control it.

You know you are trying to control change if it feels like you are being hit by a tidal wave. You may feel overwhelmed, worried, or fearful. You may feel like a victim of circumstances. 

Embracing change feels like the exhilaration of riding that wave. Of being on top of it and moving and shifting with it until it runs its course. It is feeling empowered to make your own choices, and to know you have a choice even in the most difficult situations.

Being faced with two options you don’t like still gives you the power to choose.

If you have already been slammed by the wave of change and are doing your best just to stay afloat, how likely is it that you are going to be able to shift immediately to riding it?

It’s better to grab hold of your board, catch your breath, and use the lessons that you learned about what you don’t want to help you figure out what you do want

You want to be better prepared to catch the next wave!

While it may seem simple, a powerful way to help move you from underneath the wave to successfully riding it is to change your thoughts and language.

Changing the words you use—and the thoughts behind them—can truly change your reality. Suddenly you can see that a new wave is coming in, instead of being so focused on surviving that you totally miss the signs.

Simple changes like shifting:

“Have to,” to “Want to”

“Need to,” to “It’s Important to Me”

“Can’t” to “I choose not to”

These changes can profoundly impact how you adjust to change because you are shifting your focus from what you don’t want to what you do want.

Focusing on what you do want generates positive anabolic energy and keeps you centered and powerful. It builds you up and helps you believe in yourself.

Focusing on what you don’t want generates negative catabolic energy that is disempowering and tears you down. It keeps you stuck under those pounding waves.

What can you do to begin changing your language? How can you remind yourself to focus on what you do want versus what you have to do? Pay attention to how you feel as a result.

Begin doing that consistently and you’ll be riding those waves of change before you know it.

Together we can do it!

Are you struggling with your weight?

Are you worried about holiday weight gain?

Are you ready to get the body you really want?

I have 2 coaching spaces open to help you love your way slim. If you are serious about transforming your mind and body so that:

  • You create the holidays you really want and never feel deprived.
  • You start the New Year energized and feeling fabulous.
  • You break the cycle of losing and regaining weight—once and for all.

Secure your spot now by emailing me at by November 11 to schedule your complimentary breakthrough session. These powerful and empowering sessions are available on a limited basis.

Don’t wait till Jan 2 to take inspired action. Start creating the body—and life—you want today.

Be Authentically Slim

On this day of your life, I believe God wants you to know…

…that if you’re doing something for someone else’s

approval, you may as well not do it at all.

There is only one reason to do anything: to announce

and declare, express and fulfill, become and

experience Who You Really Are.

Do what you do, therefore, for the sheer joy of it,

for sheer joy is who you are. Do what you choose,

not what someone else chooses for you.

Neale Donald Walsch

Do you change how you act when you are around others in order to receive their approval?

Believe it or not, your changing Who you are is one of the things that you are doing that is literally weighing you down. Think of those thoughts as weight-magnets.

This is because they generate negative, catabolic emotions that are impacting your body down to the cellular level. This catabolic energy triggers the release of the stress hormone cortisol, adrenaline, and other chemicals that over time impacts your metabolism and other weight-related systems making it easier to gain and harder to release weight.

Pleasing your parents, teachers, friends, bosses, etc., etc., to get their approval led you away from your authentic self—and actually led them to believe that other people had to change to make them happy. It truly served no one.

One of the things that I work with my clients to do is to show up authentically—regardless of the people or situation.

Showing up authentically doesn’t mean that you spew your opinions or are challenging to others if you have differences.

Truly, it’s just the opposite.

The authentic you is loving and accepting. The authentic you sees your value—and the value in each person and situation. The authentic you knows that there are no mistakes and that the diversity of people and opinions is what makes the world go round. The authentic you knows that being true to Who you are will be a gift to others—even if it doesn’t seem like it in the moment.

But if I you are acting out of anger, frustration, fear, judgment, or condemnation, you’re not being authentically you, and that is when it’s best to keep quiet.

You may think that it’s the other person who needs to change so that you can get along or get the approval you want, but—this may be hard to hearyou are contributing just as much to the difficult dynamics.

The only person you can control is you.

The onus is on you to stay connected to your Higher Self and to pay attention if you are coming from a place of love or a place of anger, a place of appreciation or a place of fear, if you are being authentically you, or if you are seeking the other person’s approval.

But how do you stay authentically you?

One way to maintain your connection to your Higher Self in relationships—particularly if you have a history of pushing each other’s buttons—is to actively focus on all the good qualities of the other person BEFORE you see them. You literally practice seeing them in the best light. Create a list of all the things about the other person that you appreciate, and read and add to it every day.

You can also practice a visualization where you see yourself bathed in a golden light that feels like joy and love, and then to expand that light to include other people. First, extend the light to the people you love and get along with easily. As the light grows brighter and more powerful, you can then more easily expand it to include more challenging people or people you feel the need to please. Keep expanding it until you eventually encircle the world.

By practicing appreciation you show up differently. Your expectations are a little different and you may not be so quick to judge, take offense, or alter your behavior.

Choose now how you want to show up during your next encounter with a particular person, and practice shifting your thoughts about them. Practicing your appreciation now makes it easier to show up authentically later.

If you find yourself sliding into old patterns, take a few deep breaths, or literally remove yourself from the situation. Go to the bathroom, or step out onto the porch. If you need to, go for a walk around the block. Do what you can to reconnect and find some relief.

And if you do react in a less than positive way, the primary thing to do is forgive yourself. You don’t have to be perfect. Pick yourself up and keep practicing being the best possible version of you so you show up differently the next time.

Together we can do it!

What You are Doing that’s Keeping You From Slim and Sexy

“I’m doing everything right. Why isn’t my body responding?”

“Being on a diet makes it really hard to enjoy life.”

“I’ve tried everything and nothing works!”

“Losing weight is a struggle every day.”

“I’m so TIRED of being overweight.”

“Why can’t I just have a normal body, and relax and enjoy myself like I see other people do?”

“I’m already working so hard and I’m not seeing any results. I don’t know what else to do.”


These are common statements that I hear women make. They feel frustrated, angry, and often think that their body is somehow faulty and that they are stuck with the body shape they have.

And they desperately want something else. They yearn for a healthy, slim, and sexy body—sometimes more than anything else!

What if it is these very thoughts that are holding you back? What if those feelings of desperation and yearning are like spraying yourself with healthy, slim, and sexy repellent?

It’s possible that may actually make you feel worse. “How can I not feel desperate,” you might ask? “How can I not think dieting is hard when it bloody well is,” you might argue?

This is not meant to make you self-critical, inspire you to explain to me why your situation is different (that just keeps you stuck), or to overwhelm you because you’re already working so hard to “fix it.”

Honestly, I get it. I spent more than 35 years thinking some of those same thoughts and feeling that desperation. I couldn’t get a break. My body was somehow faulty, and actually felt like it was working against me. I tried everything and I couldn’t see any more solutions.

But what I discovered is that I had the solution all along.

What is actually going on here is that you have a pattern of negative thoughts and emotions that are generating catabolic energy.

That’s it. It doesn’t make you a bad person—or a good person for that matter. It doesn’t mean you aren’t doing an exceptional job sticking to your eating and exercise plan, or that you don’t have enough willpower (probably, you have more than most!). It doesn’t mean you aren’t spiritual enough or are too spiritual. And it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you—or your body.

Now there are a couple of reasons that this pattern of catabolic thought and energy is keeping you stuck exactly where you don’t want to be.

And you have the power to change it. There is no outside force holding or keeping you down. (That’s one of those thoughts that is actually keeping you stuck!)

You have the power! You are strong enough, loved enough, have enough, can do enough, are worthy enough. As soon as you are willing to take the keys, you will begin unlocking the shackles that have kept you from getting the body you want.

It is as simple as deciding that your thoughts and emotions matter. And then slowly, steadily—and gently—practicing new thoughts and reaching for new emotions.

I won’t lie to you. The physical changes won’t happen overnight. But the emotional change can happen in as little as 68 seconds. In just over a minute you can feel a sense of relief. And that shift in energy is enough to begin bringing you the body that you want.

So why are your negative thoughts and emotions literally repelling your healthy, slim, and sexy body?

On a physical level, your negative thoughts and emotions are generating catabolic energy that releases the stress hormone cortisol, adrenaline, and other chemicals that literally strip your body’s vitality at the cellular level. This breaks down your immune system, stresses your heart, and impacts your muscles. Over time, this catabolic energy can cause everything from painful trigger points in your shoulders, to inflammation, to heart attacks. It also impacts your metabolism and other weight-related systems making it easier to gain and harder to release weight.

Catabolic thoughts and emotions also attract more of what you don’t want in life. This is because “Energy Attracts Like Energy” (also known at the Law of Attraction). Being overly focused on where you are—or where you have been—just keeps summoning similar thoughts, feelings, experiences, situations, and people so that your results never seem to change. In fact they can actually continue to spiral downward as you think and feel that the situation is getting worse.

Thoughts and emotions are energy, not marble. You have the power to change them!

You begin by relaxing and easing up on the critical thoughts about your body. (Note: This is a mental process, not an excuse to go eat a pan full of brownies!) To do this:

  • Meditate, journal, or just focus more on how your body is working for you rather than against you.
  • Pay attention to how you feel. Take negative emotion—despair, overwhelment, frustration, anger, blame, etc.—as signals alerting you to the thought pattern you have going on that is not serving you.
  • Ease up on your thinking. That can look like, “I am doing a lot right. I am taking care of my body. I am beneficial to a lot of people, I do have good relationships, and I am connected spiritually and have made lots of progress in my life. And I will figure this out, too. Of course there is room for me to grow and expand in this boundaryless Universe. I love my spiritual connection and love watching it grow and magnify. And there is a lot about my body that is working well. My heart is beating and my blood is pumping and my lungs are breathing in and out. I know that the answers and solutions are there and when I tune into them, they will become clear. I will figure this out. And there is a lot about my body to appreciate. I’m just going to relax and let this go right now.”
  • Focus on all the things you can do, and let go of all the things you can’t.
  • Begin to relax into the idea that this is just where you are right now. It doesn’t mean you will be here forever.
  • Work with a coach to help you sort through your thoughts and get individualized help to break through those blocks that are literally weighing you down.

You absolutely have the power to transform your mind to get the body you want.

What’s one way can you begin shifting your thoughts and emotions? How willing are you to begin practicing that—even for as little as a minute a day? How does that emotional relief enable you to begin moving you towards your goals?

Together we can do it!

Feeling Fabulous!

Yesterday was my birthday.

In Friday’s blog I sketched out a plan to navigate the food and drink from the celebratory weekend so that come Monday morning, I would feel good body, mind, and spirit, and be back on the healthy track.

I am happy to report that I feel fabulous!

As I sit to write this blog, my workout is complete and my healthy meal plan resumed. I also had an amazing time with my folks who came to town to help celebrate, and I thoroughly enjoyed all that we ate and drank.

While I definitely ate more than unusual, I did practice reasonable moderation and didn’t go crazy. I don’t feel the least bit deprived. In fact, I feel thoroughly feted.

While I didn’t follow my plan exactly, I did find it extremely helpful to have thought out what I wanted to do, and to reach out to you fabulous readers for accountability. Remembering that I was going to have to report back to you was a great curb to going back for seconds on desserts, or ordering a second cocktail.

But here’s the real key—I definitely had some splurges and I wasn’t perfect. It would be easy to beat myself up over those. But instead, I’m choosing to look at all the times I did push back from the table, stopped at one glass of wine, and got my planned workouts in.

Building on small successes generates positive momentum that moves you towards your goal.

Focusing on the negative—as I used to always do—drains your momentum and zaps your energy, which means you are more likely to go ahead and keep eating because all is lost anyway.

Not only did focusing on the positive help me maintain a reasonable level of moderation, it helped me maintain my mental and emotional energy over the weekend, and as a result I had one of the best visits with my family that I can recall. It was relaxed, loving, and fun.

It hasn’t always been this way. They didn’t change—I did.

Here are my wins from the weekend:

  • Got in both my planned workouts
  • Had a wonderful visit with my folks
  • Was loving and appreciative of my awesome husband
  • I never let myself get too hungry
  • Where I could, I made healthier choices (gluten free crackers and chips, sauces on the side, the entrée with more vegetables, etc.)
  • Often shared meals or packed up half to take home
  • Limited alcohol
  • Was mindful of getting full
  • Savored what I was eating
  • Savored the delicious moments with my family

What can you do to shift your focus from where you weren’t perfect to what you did well? How do you think building on small successes and feeling that positive momentum will help you move towards your wellness goal?

Together we can do it!

Guaranteed to Change Your Life

What if you knew your success was guaranteed?

What if the entire Universe was on your side?

What if your value to the world was assured?

What if all that entailed was spending more time focused on what you want, who you want to be, what you want to do, and how you want to feel?

That when you looked at a problem, you quickly shifted your thoughts to what you would like the outcome to be? That when you saw someone behaving badly, you focused on how you wanted people to behave? That you appreciated more things than you complained about?

It seems like such a simple shift to make. Love more. Appreciate more. Laugh more. Relax more.

But simple—and even preferable—doesn’t necessarily mean easy.

People often fear that if they take their eyes off the problem for a moment, it will grow and get worse. So they stay ever vigilant and keep their attention fixed on the worst-case scenario.

Or they may be weak in guiding their attention, and therefore believe they have no option but to look directly at what is right in front of them.

Or they may be so bought into reacting to “reality” that they don’t even know there is anything else to look at.

What if it was your attention and focus that was actually making the problem worse? What if by not choosing what you want to think about you are guaranteed to see more of all the things you don’t want? That all “reality” means is that you are seeing a reflection of what you are focused on?

We are each responsible for the “reality” of our lives. If you expect—and choose—to see good things, you will see good things. And if you don’t like what you see, it is an opportunity to choose what you do want. To find the solution to every problem, you must spend more time focused on the solution.

As soon as you focus on what you want, you are allowing All-That-Is (God, The Universe, Source Energy, Higher Coach—whatever works for you) to support you, answer your prayers, give you what you want, bring forth the life of your dreams.

Even if you are unwilling to make the effort to spend more time loving, appreciating, relaxing, and laughing, your value to the Universe is guaranteed. You are important in the grand scheme of things. You are loved and adored just as you are.

Whether you feel that—and how much fun life is along the way—is up to you.

All it takes to begin making that change is to find one thing to appreciate today. Do that again tomorrow. And then slowly begin to look for more things to appreciate.

That’s it. That’s all you have to do. That one tiny change done consistently is guaranteed to change you life.

It truly is that simple.

It’s only hard if you think it has to be.

Together we can do it!



You Are So Beautiful!

What is beautiful to you?

Does it involve a certain body weight or shape? A certain wellness level? When you look in the mirror do you see your definition of beauty smiling back?

I often hear clients focused on wanting to change how others see women and judge beauty. There is much frustration that women on television and in ads are significantly thinner than average. People point to pundits’ criticisms of specific bodies. There are many photos of past sex symbols who were less than lean tied to complaints about the changing definition of beauty.

But how likely is it that you are going to change society, or the modeling, television, or advertising industries?

Wouldn’t it be easier to focus on your own judgments and definition of beauty?

Until you are so pure in your appreciation of every woman’s body and beauty that a critical thought is never entertained, until your actions align 100 percent with your personal definition of wellness, and you can look in the mirror with not only appreciation but adoration, you have no power to change anyone else.

You may want others to deem you—or more women—as beautiful, but before that can happen, you must judge yourself as beautiful first. And you must allow everyone else to have their own definition of beauty.

This is the sticking point for most women. You have to stop looking outside of you for self-esteem, appreciation, and acceptance. Those are things you have to give to yourself.

It is only when you began making these internal changes that you will begin to see lasting external changes.

To do this, you have to begin:

  • Letting go of the fear of other people’s judgments.
  • Aligning your actions with your beliefs and desires.
  • Looking for and appreciating your beauty and innate value—body, mind, and spirit

Instead of trying to change others, how would it feel to examine your own judgments and definition of beauty? How could you begin to align more fully with that?

The best way to change the world is to change how you see yourself.

Together we can do it!

I Surrender

The Universe does a good job of keeping me humble.

It’s not lost on me that I’m scheduled to present information to colleagues next week on being empowered to choose our responses and twice in the past few days I have not shown up as the best possible version of me.

Yesterday, in fact, was pretty much a textbook example of first victim and then anger responses.

Good show Universe! Good show!

Seriously, I really do appreciate the mirror and the opportunity to clean up my own act. If we are not aware of how we are showing up, how can we change?

This is one of the purposes of stretching, growing, and evolving. Each step gives us the opportunity to become even more.

But it’s up to us to take that step.

I suspect I could fill you all in on the details and get at least most of you to agree that I am “right.” That my point of view is clear and logical, and that the path I point to is the “best.”

But the inner world is not the appropriate arena for consensus. Agreement will just keep me stuck in the destructive, negative catabolic emotions, and that truly benefits no one.

It negatively impacts my body, mind, and spirit. And that destructive power reaches out and brings others down with it. Righteous indignation is not the same as right. Rather, it is a sign of being out of alignment with Who you really are and that more introspection is needed.

You can think of it as a coin. On one side of the coin is the problem and on the other is the solution.

If you are stuck on the problem side of the coin, all you will see is the problem. You will talk about it, rail, and rant against it, and get people to rail and rant with you, but when you are on that side of the coin you will not see the solution.

Switching sides of the coin means switching the mindset with which you look at the problem.

Einstein expressed this beautifully when he said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”

Instead of looking at a problem and feeling apathy or anger, it means shifting our mindset to being hopeful, open, and curious.

So how do you shift you mindset from the problem to the solution?

Here’s the process I have gone through so far:

Distract yourself—When you are in the throes of an angry, catabolic reaction get off the topic so that you can cool down. Last night, my husband David and I chose to watch a movie so that I could focus on something else. This was great as it enabled me to go to bed and get some sleep.

Feel the emotion—When my eyes popped open at 3:30 a.m., I actually felt OK. But as soon as I turned my thoughts to the topic, the catabolic emotion sprang back to the surface in a powerful way. I got up and let myself fully feel it. Often people avoid their powerful emotions, but that just prolongs the pain and catabolic energy.

Meditate—Once I was calmed down, I was able to focus on clearing my mind, which helped raise my energy and mood.

What’s at the root?—From this more constructive, anabolic place I was able to look at what was really going on. What was I really reacting to? What made me feel the need to dig in my heels? How important was it really?

Surrender—There is nothing to gain here by holding on to my one “right” way. The sooner I let go of this, the sooner we can find the solutions.

Trust—I use Jerry Hick’s mantra that, “Everything is always working out for me.” What I really want is on its way to me. My path—and the solutions—will be clearer if I just focus on that, and let the rest unfold.

There is no one “right” way to do anything. When you surrender and release the painful emotions, the solutions will be clearer.

Together we can do it!

Dang That’s Judgmental

One of the things I love about stepping outside my comfort zone is that my shadow side may show up. That’s the part of me that is insecure, defensive, judgmental—you get the idea. It’s an amazing opportunity to practice showing up as authentically me—regardless of the people or situation.

The authentic me is loving and accepting. The authentic me sees my value—and the value in each person and situation. The authentic me knows that there are no mistakes and that the diversity of people and opinions is what makes the world go round. The authentic me knows that speaking my truth with ease and grace will be a gift to others, even if it doesn’t seem like it in the moment.

If I am acting out of anger, frustration, defensiveness, fear, judgment, or condemnation, I’m not being authentically me—and I have the opportunity to make a difference choice.

The onus is on me to stay connected to my Higher Self (God, All-That-Is, Universe, Source—whatever works for you) and to pay attention if I am coming from a place of love or a place of anger, a place of appreciation or a place of fear.

One way for you to stay authentic and maintain your connection to your Higher Self in relationships—particularly if you have a history of pushing each other’s buttons—is to actively focus on all the good qualities of the other person. To literally practice seeing them in the best light.

There are a couple of ways to do this.

Create a list of all the things about the other person that you appreciate, and read and add to it every day.

Practice a visualization. See yourself bathed in a golden light that feels like joy and love, and then expand that light to include other people. First extend the light to the people you love and get along with easily. As the light grows brighter and more powerful, expand it to include more challenging people.

You may think that it’s the other person who needs to change so that you all can get along, but you are contributing just as much to the difficult dynamics. It’s up to you to show up differently.

The only person you can control is you. Choose now how you want to show up.  Practice showing up authentically.

And if you do react in a less than ideal way—as I guarantee that you sometimes will—the primary thing to do is forgive yourself. You don’t have to be perfect. Just pick yourself up and keep practicing being the best possible version of you so you show up more authentically the next time.

Together we can do it!