Be Authentically Slim

On this day of your life, I believe God wants you to know…

…that if you’re doing something for someone else’s

approval, you may as well not do it at all.

There is only one reason to do anything: to announce

and declare, express and fulfill, become and

experience Who You Really Are.

Do what you do, therefore, for the sheer joy of it,

for sheer joy is who you are. Do what you choose,

not what someone else chooses for you.

Neale Donald Walsch

Do you change how you act when you are around others in order to receive their approval?

Believe it or not, your changing Who you are is one of the things that you are doing that is literally weighing you down. Think of those thoughts as weight-magnets.

This is because they generate negative, catabolic emotions that are impacting your body down to the cellular level. This catabolic energy triggers the release of the stress hormone cortisol, adrenaline, and other chemicals that over time impacts your metabolism and other weight-related systems making it easier to gain and harder to release weight.

Pleasing your parents, teachers, friends, bosses, etc., etc., to get their approval led you away from your authentic self—and actually led them to believe that other people had to change to make them happy. It truly served no one.

One of the things that I work with my clients to do is to show up authentically—regardless of the people or situation.

Showing up authentically doesn’t mean that you spew your opinions or are challenging to others if you have differences.

Truly, it’s just the opposite.

The authentic you is loving and accepting. The authentic you sees your value—and the value in each person and situation. The authentic you knows that there are no mistakes and that the diversity of people and opinions is what makes the world go round. The authentic you knows that being true to Who you are will be a gift to others—even if it doesn’t seem like it in the moment.

But if I you are acting out of anger, frustration, fear, judgment, or condemnation, you’re not being authentically you, and that is when it’s best to keep quiet.

You may think that it’s the other person who needs to change so that you can get along or get the approval you want, but—this may be hard to hearyou are contributing just as much to the difficult dynamics.

The only person you can control is you.

The onus is on you to stay connected to your Higher Self and to pay attention if you are coming from a place of love or a place of anger, a place of appreciation or a place of fear, if you are being authentically you, or if you are seeking the other person’s approval.

But how do you stay authentically you?

One way to maintain your connection to your Higher Self in relationships—particularly if you have a history of pushing each other’s buttons—is to actively focus on all the good qualities of the other person BEFORE you see them. You literally practice seeing them in the best light. Create a list of all the things about the other person that you appreciate, and read and add to it every day.

You can also practice a visualization where you see yourself bathed in a golden light that feels like joy and love, and then to expand that light to include other people. First, extend the light to the people you love and get along with easily. As the light grows brighter and more powerful, you can then more easily expand it to include more challenging people or people you feel the need to please. Keep expanding it until you eventually encircle the world.

By practicing appreciation you show up differently. Your expectations are a little different and you may not be so quick to judge, take offense, or alter your behavior.

Choose now how you want to show up during your next encounter with a particular person, and practice shifting your thoughts about them. Practicing your appreciation now makes it easier to show up authentically later.

If you find yourself sliding into old patterns, take a few deep breaths, or literally remove yourself from the situation. Go to the bathroom, or step out onto the porch. If you need to, go for a walk around the block. Do what you can to reconnect and find some relief.

And if you do react in a less than positive way, the primary thing to do is forgive yourself. You don’t have to be perfect. Pick yourself up and keep practicing being the best possible version of you so you show up differently the next time.

Together we can do it!

What Did You Need?

I had an intense session with my coach, Kendra Thornbury, yesterday where we broke through some blocks that were showing up in the form of limiting beliefs and fear.

Whew that felt good!

The resulting clarity will help me move forward in achieving my goals.

But any time you do intense emotional work, you have to be aware of the impact it has on your body.

Our bodies and minds are much more significantly linked than most people realize.

So I slept in this morning, skipped my workout, and am treating myself gently.

It wasn’t too long ago that I would have made myself get up and workout anyway.

There’s a fine line between knowing when to push past mild resistance and when to ease up and give your body a break.

Here are some tips to help you figure out how to listen to your body and honor its messages.

How often do you give in? Are you regularly training yourself to go for the bigger win of a slim and healthy body by skipping treats and working out most of the time? Or do you scarf down every treat thinking it will be your last one? It gets easier to tell when your body needs a little TLC when you are more consistent in your actions.

Practice shifting your thoughts and emotions. Your thoughts and emotions will determine how successful your actions will be. For instance, if you want to start working out, yet you’re constantly thinking about how much you hate exercise, hate to sweat, hate the gym, etc., etc., your chances of maintaining an exercise program are pretty much nil.

So the first step in starting your workout program isn’t joining the gym, but is figuring out all the reasons you want to exercise and making those reasons your predominate thoughts. Then when you join the gym, the action of going is easier. As you practice shifting your thoughts and emotions you are better able to hone in on what is actually going on in your mind and body.

Take out the judgment—yours or anyone else’s. Just observe what’s going on with you. Skipping an occasional workout because it feels like what you need in the moment doesn’t mean you’re a slacker—no matter what anybody says. When you take out the self-criticism, you can tell if there is a pattern of negative thought that needs to be shifted, or if this a positive step of self-care.

You are the only one who truly knows what is best for you. Learning to listen to yourself and trust your judgment takes practice, but is an important part of loving your way slim.

Together we can do it!

Photo by Lindsay Miller

Where Are You Headed?


One of the challenges with creating the body that you want is that you are always carrying the body that you have around with you. It’s a constant reminder that you are where you don’t want to be.

When you think about the Foundation Principle that “Energy Attracts Like Energy,” also known as the Law of Attraction, it makes sense.

Our thoughts are energy. If you are focused on the fat you don’t want, or your lack of fitness or beauty, you will not only attract more thoughts like that, but more circumstances that support those beliefs.

Getting the body you want requires continually tearing your attention away from where you are and focusing more on where you want to be.

Only, this backfires if you don’t believe you can get where you want to be.

So how do you mentally walk this fine line of being in the body you don’t want—and having to look at and experience it all day every day—but not quite believing you can achieve the body you really want? Particularly when you are so used to thinking negative thoughts about your body, you don’t even know you’re doing it?

This is why a coach is so helpful. But ultimately, whether you have a coach or not, you are the one who has to navigate this mental path forward.

So here are some tips:

Pay attention to your emotions. How many thoughts do you think a day? A lot! It will just make you crazy trying to monitor what you’re thinking. Instead, pay attention to how you are feeling. If you’re having negative, catabolic emotions, such as frustration, overwhelment, hopelessness, blame, etc., these should be like signal flares letting you know you are headed where you don’t want to go.

Then you can determine what you were thinking, or better yet, just begin to shift your thoughts in the direction you do want to go. Such as:

“Clearly I’m not where I want to be. But that’s OK. I am where I am. And the good news is I caught myself. That right there is progress. And I am doing a lot right. I’m paying more attention to the food that I’m eating and I’m moving my body more. And I’m noticing that my stamina and energy levels are improving. I feel really good after my workouts, and every day I’m seeing a little bit of progress. I didn’t get where I am overnight and I it will take a little time to get where I want to be, but really, I’ve come a long way. I’ve already lost a few pounds, my clothes are looser, and I’m feeling more confident. With just a little consistency and persistence on my part, I am going to see significant changes. It doesn’t have to happen all at once. I know I can get there.”

Now you should be feeling a sense of relief, which is all you need to feel to let you know you have shifted your energy.

Change the mental subject. When you catch yourself looking in the mirror and being self-critical, find something else to think about that you do feel good about. Maybe it’s another body part that you can praise. Or maybe it’s how much your dog or child makes you laugh. You can even make a list of things that you enjoy, and then read it when you catch yourself heading down the road towards body shame.

Go take a nap. Or meditate. Or even just take three deep breaths. If you catch your catabolic thoughts picking up speed, do what you can in the moment to just to ease your foot off the gas pedal. Slowing the negative momentum will make changing thoughts smoother and easier.

Your thoughts lead your life. Shift your thoughts consistently in the direction you want to go and your body—and life—will follow.

Together we can do it!




Aren’t You Curious?

I set aside time yesterday to work on my business bookkeeping. In addition to a little bit of procrastination, I found myself starting the project with a small bowl of dark chocolate chips.

And I went back for seconds.

Of course this is not the end of the world and I did get the bookkeeping done, but what both the procrastination and chocolate let me know is that I have some negative, catabolic thoughts, emotions, and beliefs going on that I need to look at.

Whenever your actions and goals aren’t in alignment, it just means there’s some underlying catabolic energy that needs to be addressed. That’s it. It’s not an indication of your strength of character, willpower, or how good a person you are.

And it’s not about the food.

Mentally beating yourself up in these situations is the equivalent of throwing gasoline on a fire. Adding negative self-criticism is literally just making the underlying catabolic energy stronger and giving it more momentum.

It’s best just to step back and observe yourself with curiosity. What’s going on here? What am I thinking? What am I feeling? What do I believe about myself in regards to this situation?

And don’t even try to change your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs in that moment. Remember, you’ve got some energetic momentum built up. Stepping in front of an energetic tidal wave will emotionally pound you into the rocks.

Just watch and let the wave go by. Later, when you’re feeling good and are in a positive, anabolic state of energy, you can revisit the scenario and look at the underlying beliefs. Not only do you gain clarity from this better-feeling place, but you can more powerfully change your thoughts so that the next time you’re better able to align your actions with your goals.

In my situation, I have some lingering limiting beliefs about my math skills that go back to grade school, as well as expectations about how “unfun” bookkeeping is, etc., etc. So here’s how I shifted my thinking after meditating this morning.

The reality is putting my bookkeeping off feels way worse than doing it. And as long as I have a calculator, I’m actually pretty good at it. I have an intuitive sense that enables me to make smart decisions. There’s a part of me that really enjoys seeing the numbers line up. And I see the income I’m making as an indication of the value and service I’m providing my clients. And I love how the income is helping me build my business so I can support and help empower more women. It feels very satisfying to have my books in order and to know exactly how much I have spent and earned. I love the feeling of being on top of things and knowing the ins and outs of my business.

Now, next time I’m sitting down to do my books, I’ll be able to tap into that feeling of satisfaction, enjoyment, and even empowerment, and I’ll be less likely to feel the need to reach for chocolate.

However, because this issue entails some long-standing limiting beliefs, I may have to do this process several times before I am chocolate-free. But each time I do it, I’m shifting the underlying energy to a more positive place.

As I let go of the catabolic feeling of dread around bookkeeping and switch it to a more anabolic feeling of expectation, satisfaction, and even eagerness, not only will I be able to let go of the chocolate, but I’ll have an increase in energy that will enable me to be more productive and engaged in all areas of my life.

The next time you find yourself doing some stress- or emotional-eating, just observe yourself with curiosity. Pay attention to what you are thinking and feeling. Later, when you are feeling better, look at how can you change those beliefs.

Together we can do it!


Photo from



Five Tips to Transform Your Mind to Get the Body You Want

How many times a day do you experience a negative emotion?

Feelings like:

  • Frustration at being stuck in traffic.
  • Overwhelmed by how much you have on your to-do list.
  • Fear about how you’re going to pay your bills.
  • Impatience with how fast the line is moving at the grocery store.
  • Irritation at how much noise your kids (or pets) are making.
  • Dread over going to work.
  • Regret about a past experience.

What if every one of those negative, catabolic thoughts and resulting emotions was literally sucking a little bit of your wellness away?

Because the reality is every negative thought and resulting emotion impacts your bodywhether the thought is about your body or not.

Don’t worry. A few negative emotional hits here and there are no big deal. In fact, if you’re about get hit by a bus, you want some catabolic fear to kick your adrenal glands into high gear so that you can get the heck out of the way. That’s how catabolic energy helps us. It enables quick action during a crisis or dangerous situation.

The problem is that the majority of people spend most of their time stressed. They see almost all of life as a crisis that requires the fight or flight response.

Over time, this catabolic energy begins to impact your wellness at the cellular level.

Your body is not meant to deal with chronic levels of the stress hormone cortisol and adrenaline. This is why stress breaks down your immune system, overburdens your heart, and impacts your muscles. Over time, this prolonged catabolic energy can cause everything from painful trigger points in your shoulders, to inflammation, to heart attacks. It also impacts your metabolism and other weight-related systems making it easier to gain and harder to release weight.

So if you really want overall wellness and a slim and sexy body, you are shooting yourself in the foot if you don’t address your thoughts and emotions in addition to what you eat and how much you move your body. This is why so many diet and exercise programs fail to create long-term change.

You have to transform your mind to get the body you want.

The good news is that your thoughts and emotions are made of energy, not marble. You can change them! And it’s simpler than you might think.

It just takes consistent and persistent practice. Consciously shifting your thoughts and emotions for as little as a minute a day can make a significant difference to your overall wellness.

Isn’t getting the body you want worth that little bit of time and attention? Isn’t knowing the impact you are having on your overall wellness a powerful incentive to begin paying attention to how you feel emotionally?

Here are some simple ways that you can begin shifting your thinking:

  1. Take three deep breaths. My clients are always amazed at the simple power in this. When you catch yourself caught up in anxiety or frustration, just stop and breathe. Deeply. Taking three deep breaths is all it takes to feel a sense of relief, which signals a shift in energy.
  2. Focus on something else. Getting frustrated with the pokiness of the checkout girl? Shift your attention to the contents of your shopping cart, or to the abundance of food that the store carries, or even the cover of some of the magazines in the check-out aisle. Change the subject mentally.
  3. Literally change the subject. Stop yourself when you notice you are participating in a gripefest with friends or co-workers. Introduce a better feeling topic, or if you need to, disengage. You might remember a call you need to make or a task you need to get to in order to walk away from the catabolic banter. Your job is not to stop your friends, but to stop yourself.
  4. Take advantage of when you are feeling good. Even more powerful than stopping yourself mid-catabolic thought is extending those times you are feeling good. Laughing with friends? Consciously think of other things that make you laugh or that are fun. Enjoying a beautiful sunset? Think about other things that you find beautiful. Feeling a sense of love or appreciation for a child or pet? Think about other things that you love. See how long you can keep that good feeling going.
  5. Regularly practice meditation, positive prayer, or centering. Quieting your mind for as little as a minute a day—every day—will begin to have a profound impact on how you feel. When you master a minute, build up. Or do a minute several times a day. The benefits to your body grow the more you do it.

What are you willing to do for a minute every day to begin to transform your mind to get the body you want?

Together we can do it!

What Did You Envision?

When you were watching the Olympics, did you notice how many athletes closed their eyes for a few moments before they got into the starting position?

My guess is that they were visualizing the performance they wanted to have.

Visualizing is a powerful technique that is scientifically proven. It makes sense when you realize that thoughts have energy, so aligning your thoughts and your actions builds your momentum for reaching your goals.

But I always struggled with visualizing until I tied it to how I would feel when I achieved my goal. Emotions are easier for me to direct, and they add another little push. Now I have the energy of my thoughts and emotions behind my actions.

You can began practicing this emotional envisioning in various ways.

Before bed, think about how you want to feel as you move through your day—for instance how energized and eager you are to give your workout your all. How much you appreciate the food that you are eating and your amazing body that is knocking itself out on you behalf.

Then as you go through your day, reach for the emotion you envisioned—and then make it even more specific.

For instance, not only reach for feeling energized and eager before your workout, but also think about how good it feel afterwards–it makes you feel alive, confident, successful, even powerful. Spend a moment allowing yourself to feel that way, and then begin moving your body.

Talk about amping up your workout! And an added bonus is it increases the positive feelings you experience when you’re done, so the good feeling just keeps getting better and better!

Feel how you want to experience your meal before you eat. Feel how rested and refreshed you will be when you wake up before you go to sleep. Feel how cleansing and hydrating the water is before you drink.

You are creating a wave of energy that is like a tidal wave moving you where you want to go.

However, if you are in a lot of pain or are struggling with something, trying to envision how it will feel when you meet your ultimate goal may actually make you feel worse because it seems too far away. If that’s the case, just reach for a smaller feeling of relief. For instance, envision waking up feeling a little more rested, or the satisfaction of completing your walk around the block. Your progress is your progress.

What can you do to begin emotionally envisioning how you want your life to go before you live it? What difference does that make to how much more fun life is along the way to reaching your goals?

Together we can do it!