What Did You Expect?

What often holds women back from getting the body they want is the belief that they can have it.

Ultimately, you get what you expect.

You may hold yourself back from being willing to believe you can achieve your goal because of:

  • Fear that you will be disappointed
  • Worry that you aren’t doing the “right” eating plan or exercise program
  • Other contradictory beliefs, such as there’s something wrong with your body and it doesn’t respond like other people’s
  • Faulty beliefs about your self-worth and how much you deserve it
  • A combination of these or other thoughts

There are a number of reasons that expectation is so powerful and is such a huge predictor of success.

One is simply that you hold back on your commitment to action if there’s a part of you that believes the results are not possible.

Just think about it. How likely are you to give your workout your all or stick to your eating plan if you are questioning how effective it will be?

It can feel like a huge risk to put all your emotional chips in the game. It can lead to sabotaging thoughts such as, “What if I give it my all and still fail?”

But how likely are you to succeed if you aren’t giving it your all? By holding back, you are actually creating the outcome that you don’t want.

This is why really thinking about what optimal wellness means to you and the value it will have in your life is so important. This is why is it critical to be focused on creating a healthy lifestyle rather than a “diet” that you are doing for a limited time.

It helps you redefine success and the parameters of the game.

If you only define success as the numbers on the scale, it’s easy to “fail.”

But if success includes having your clothes fit better or being a smaller size, having more energy, doing more, feeling better, being more engaged in life, improved health, endurance, strength and stamina, etc., there is no way you could give your plan your all and “fail.”

And if you are focused on creating a lifestyle there is no end buzzer in which the game is over and you “fail.” It doesn’t matter if you reach your goal in 12 weeks or a year. What matters is that you are making progress. (See definition of success above.)

Expecting results is powerful. How much you hold back on being willing to believe you can achieve your goal is how much you will fall short.

The good news is that, as Abraham-Hicks says, a belief is just a thought you keep thinking.

This means that you can change your beliefs by choosing to think new thoughts!

Choose to think about:

  • How it will feel to be slim and healthy
  • How eating healthy food in the right portions and moving your body will help you achieve your wellness goals
  • How hard your body is working on your behalf
  • How much you deserve—and can achieve—the the body you want

What else can you do to shore up your expectation that you can achieve your goals? How does that impact your success?

Together we can do it!

Wellness Tip of the Day

Aside

Wellness Tip of the Day: Observe when your actions and goals aren’t aligning. Pay attention to what you are thinking and feeling. How can you change those beliefs?

Tips to Increase Your Momentum Towards Meeting Your Goals

One of the ways I used to trip myself up was to second-guess everything I was doing.

While doing one workout, I was wondering if another might be better. I’d spend a lot of mental energy debating between taking the elevator or stairs, and mentally chastise myself if I ate a protein bar instead of drinking a protein shake.

Being wishy-washy about your decisions—or downright critical—is the mental equivalent of letting the air out of your tires. It is an energetic leak that will slow the success you really want.

While debating your decision when the choices are fairly similar will slow your progress, you will give yourself a flat tire in a second if you choose something you believe is actually harmful.

Negative catabolic thoughts and emotion can literally impact your metabolism and other weight-related systems making it easier to gain and harder to release weight. Actually doing the action you believe to be detrimental—and the resulting guilt, shame, etc.—increases the negative effects.

Remember this the next time you are having a thought such as, “That cake is so fattening. I really shouldn’t eat it.”

This is because every action is preceded by a thought and belief, all of which have energy. Think of each step as increasing your momentum. Aligning the energy of a thought, with the energy of a belief, and energy of the action in the direction of your goal is like a train gaining speed towards your destination. It has the full force of momentum behind it.

The energy of an action that is heading in the opposite direction of your thought or belief is like having a head-on collision. At the very least it’s painful. At worst, it can derail your efforts.

The key is to put all of your support behind your decisions.

You do that by:

  • Being present and committed to what you are doing in the moment. For instance, put all of your energy into the workout you are doing. You can then gauge by the results you are getting if you need to rethink your plan.
  • Making decisions quickly. Don’t waste a lot of energy debating between a protein bar and shake. Pick one and move on.
  • Choosing the option that feels best. There are days it feels good to your body to take the stairs. There are days your body needs a rest and the elevator feels better. Pay attention to how the decision feels, and choose the better feeling option. It’s always the right one.
  • Fully committing to the choice you are making, particularly if they are pretty similar. If grabbing a protein bar helps you get out of the house on time, that’s a great option. Don’t second guess it. You can even boost the power of the decision by being grateful for the option.
  • Getting your thoughts, beliefs, and actions in alignment. If you believe eating any cake on your diet is “bad,” make sure you keep that off your fork. If you really want some cake, how can you feel good about eating it? Perhaps you can align with the idea of having a free meal once a week that will enable you to have a little cake and still meet your goals. Then when you do have some, enjoy it! If you feel guilt afterwards, your thoughts and beliefs aren’t in alignment with your actions.

Pay attention to how you feel. Positive, anabolic emotions such as confidence, contentment, eagerness, etc., are a sign that you are headed towards your goals and are gaining momentum. Negative catabolic emotions such as guilt, deprivation, doubt, etc., are a warning sign that your thoughts and beliefs are headed in the opposite direction of your goals and that you are in danger of not getting where you want to go.

How can you begin to shift your thoughts and beliefs so that they are in alignment with your actions? What difference does that make in meeting your goals?

Together we can do it!

Think Again!

I caught myself grumbling and complaining this morning.

This is a sign to me that I need to look at my thinking around what’s happening. My reaction says a heck of a lot more about me than it does anyone—or anything—else.

One of the things I’ve noticed is that people tend to hold on to their complaints, believing that their thinking the situation should be different, or someone else should behave differently will somehow make those changes happen.

What is actually happening is you are negatively impacting your mental, physical, and spiritual wellness.

Your negative thoughts are generating catabolic energy that releases the stress hormone cortisol, adrenaline, and other chemicals that literally can cannibalize your body. They break down your immune system, stress your heart, and impact your muscles. Over time, this catabolic energy can cause everything from painful trigger points in your shoulders, to inflammation, to heart attacks. It can even impact your metabolism and other weight-related systems making it easier to gain and harder to release weight.

Your complaining is literally weighing you down!

When you “lighten up” emotionally by allowing yourself to relax, smile, laugh, and enjoy life you are making it easier for your body to “lighten up.”

When you lighten up emotionally, you are allowing your body to work for you down to the cellular level. Choosing a more constructive and positive anabolic reaction releases endorphins and body supporting hormones that help your body heal, rebuild, and flow with physical energy. And yes, make it easier to release excess weight.

Here’s a tip. To change your response, change your perception of who you are in relationship to what is happening.

Remind yourself that you are capable of dealing with the situation. Be confident in its resolution. Open your mind to the solutions. Be flexible and willing to look at things from another point of view.

You are much more powerful than you realize. You absolutely have the ability to change your response. All it takes is a slight mental shift in how you see yourself, the situation, and the people involved.

Now when you catch yourself complaining about anyone or anything, recognize the negative impact it’s having on your body. Pay attention to what you are doing to your own wellness.

Reach for a new thought about yourself—who you are, what you are capable of, and what you deserve.

How does that impact how you physically and mentally feel? How does your more positive response improve the situation?

Together we can do it!

How True is That?

While I’m hanging out with my folks celebrating my birthday, I’m sharing one of my favorite blogs that you may have missed.

One of the things that holds us back from creating the body and life of our dreams is accepting those limiting beliefs that we have picked up from others as truth. How likely are you to achieve something if you don’t even believe it’s possible?

If you’re feeling stuck regarding releasing weight, it can be helpful to look at the beliefs you’re holding and examine if they’re accurate or not.

For instance, how many of you have ever heard “You have to clean your plate because there are starving children somewhere in the world?”

Just about everyone, right? This is how our parents or grandparents often got us to eat—and to eat things we didn’t want to eat. Do you think that’s a limiting belief?

How true is it that your cleaning your plate is going to benefit any of those starving children?

Logically, it makes no sense that my overeating will help anyone else. In fact, this belief can actually be harmful. Cleaning your plate teaches you to disregard your body’s guidance that it’s had enough, and eating too much food is at the heart of being overweight, which has serious health consequences.

At the core of this belief is often a concern about wasting food. But the truth is extra food in your body is just as wasteful as putting it in the trash. You can either waste it, or you waist it.

A lot of times, seeing the flaws in your thinking is enough to help you move beyond it. But changing a long-standing belief can also impact underlying values.

For instance, it may be hard for you to let go of this belief because one of your values is helping others in need. What would be a more constructive action than cleaning your plate? Perhaps donating to charities that feed the poor?

Maybe your value around this belief is being sustainable. A more direct way to address that value might be to start a composting system, or to recycle.

Resistance to changing this belief could also be fear—perhaps fear that there’s not enough so you have to eat more than you need. What are some ways that you can focus on the abundance that you do have in your life?

If you want to create the life of your dreams, it’s worth looking at the inaccurate thinking and limiting beliefs you have going on.

How willing are you to let go of beliefs that don’t serve you? How does this enable you to create new thoughts and beliefs that do?

Together we can do it!

 

 

Tips for Changing Your Mental Habits

There is power in feeling good.

Think about how much you get done when you are excited, eager, and looking forward to something. Now think about how hard it is to make progress when you are dreading something, don’t want to do it, resent it, etc.

While you can move forward and get stuff done while you are feeling negative catabolic emotions, consciously shifting to positive anabolic thoughts before you begin a task is like putting on rocket boosters.

And not only is your power to get things done greater, but it’s easier and more fun.

Most of what makes day-to-day living “hard” are just your mental habits. You have  thoughts about how hard it is to get up and go to work that you have repeated for so long that you don’t even realize there’s another way to look at it. You have practiced dreading Mondays. You have developed a mental rut on many topics that are not serving you.

These are just some catabolic habits of thought you have going on. Thoughts are made of energy, not marble. They can be changed!

Why do you want to go to the trouble of creating positive, life-building anabolic mental habits, you might ask?

Because anabolic thoughts result in emotions that feel good. Those emotions make your heart sing. When you are feeling anabolic emotions, you know that things are always working out for you. When there’s a problem, you see the solution. You laugh more. You relax more. You are happy to be alive.

All you have to do is create some new mental habits.

And here’s a bonus. Creating anabolic mental habits makes creating healthy physical habits easier. So instead of hating to work out, you enjoy it. You love the taste of fresh vegetables. You easily make the decision to turn off the T.V. and go to bed so you will wake up rested and refreshed. It’s easy. It feels like the choice you want to make.

One way to create new mental habits is to tap into anabolic energy before you do something.

Here are some quick and easy ways to change the energy of your thinking and create new mental habits:

  • Take 3 to 10 deep breaths
  • Meditate, quiet your mind, pray, or center
  • Take a nap
  • Take a bath or hot shower
  • Read some inspiring quotes
  • Look at pictures of cute animals or things you love
  • Look out a window and focus on a tree, bird, or other bit of nature
  • Create a list of all the things you love or appreciate and read it
  • Journal
  • Light a candle and focus on the flickering flame for a few minutes
  • Count your blessings
  • Think of other explanations for the situation
  • Think about how you want to feel, or how something you are working towards will make you feel
  • Pet your dog or cat
  • Let yourself believe that a solution is possible

These are things to do before you do your workout, before you make that phone call, before you write that email, before you do anything–especially anything that you have developed a negative pattern of thought about.

Often people will use the excuse that they don’t have time to practice anabolic thinking. Truly, you don’t have time not to! By taking a few minutes on the front end to shift your energy, you will more than make up with ease and efficiency, and have fewer problems resulting from your catabolic approach to clean up.

And the more you practice anabolic thoughts and energy, the easier and more fun your life becomes. And the more anabolic mental habits you create.

What is one thing you can begin to do regularly to shift your mental habits? What difference does that make in creating the body—and life—of your dreams?

Together we can do it!

How Focused Are You?

What if you knew that your goal of getting slim was supported by the power of the entire Universe? That All-That-Is  was aware of the body you are going for, and wanted you to  have it? That your Higher Coach was providing you with everything you need to make your fit, strong, and slim body a reality?

Would you let go of doubt?

Would you let go of fear?

Would you give it your all knowing that what you put energy into is guaranteed to succeed?

Would you see the opportunities in obstacles instead of giving up?

What if all that’s keeping you from creating the body—and life—of your dreams is doubt and fear that results in you subtly holding yourself back and giving up too soon?

If you knew your success was guaranteed, would you be willing to give it your all?

If you knew the entire Universe was on your side, would you pick yourself up and keep going when things got hard?

If you knew you were worthy of receiving everything you want, would you expect to see it?

That’s how close you are to the healthy, slim, and sexy body of your dreams.

All it takes is spending more time focused on what you want, what you want to do and why you want to do it, and how you want to feel. And then putting that energy behind your actions.

You are responsible for the “reality” of your life. Focus on what you want, do the work, and allow All-That-Is (God, The Universe, Source Energy, Higher Coach—whatever works for you) to support you, answer your prayers, bring forth the life of your dreams.

How much fun you have along the way is up to you.

What can you do to practice feeling confident, assured, and supported? Begin to look for and expect your success.  How does that impact your actions–and results?

Together we can do it!

 

Isn’t Life Delicious?

DELICIOUS adj \di-ˈli-shəs\

1: affording great pleasure : delightful

2: appealing to one of the bodily senses especially of taste or smell

Merriam-Webster

Why do you eat?

For very few people is it just to give their bodies the vital nutrients they need to sustain life.

For women who struggle with their weight, eating is often their primary source of pleasure, comfort, satisfaction, and even experience of love.

This is why diets cause such feelings of deprivation.

Who wants to live a life void of pleasurable feelings? Certainly not me!

And you don’t have to!

All that’s happened is that over time—and for a variety of valid reasons—you have shut yourself off from sources of satisfaction, comfort, and love because they have also been sources of pain, dissatisfaction, and loneliness.

The lover who broke your heart, the friend who betrayed you, the parent or boss who tried to control you sent you to the one obvious and consistent source of comfort—food.

It was a totally normal reaction. Food is delicious. It’s pleasurable, satisfying, and comforting. And it’s easy.

But it’s also betrayed you.

It’s caused you to gain weight. It’s negatively impacted your health. It’s momentary comfort is completely outweighed by the overwhelming feelings of guilt and self-loathing that it now causes.

It’s no longer giving you what you were seeking in the first place—those pleasurable feelings.

It’s time to begin looking for these feelings in the only place they will be given consistently. From the only place you can truly count on them being there 100 percent of the time, no matter what you do, say, or be. Where you know you are absolutely loved and adored.

The Source of pleasure, satisfaction, comfort, nourishment, and love is All-That-Is (God, the Universe, Higher Coach—whatever works for you). And your thoughts are what help you tune into these feelings—or not.

No one else is “making” you feel anything. It was not your boyfriend who made you feel unworthy—it was because you believed him.

Thoughts of your unworthiness feel so bad because they are not true. In the eyes of All-That-Is, you are utterly and completely perfect.

But because you have taken the word of a lot of people with limited perspectives over the knowing of All-That-Is, you have pretty well convinced yourself that you are unworthy. You may even have a strong negative reaction to the very idea that you are perfect.

Remember the infant “You” that was in your mother’s arms? Would you judge the infant “You” as anything other than perfect? Would you ever have been “bad” if someone else who had been told they were “bad” hadn’t perpetuated the inaccurate assessment?

Most of what was judged “bad” by others was simply eagerness, exuberance, and joy that was seen as inappropriate by someone who you believed knew better than you.

When your thoughts about yourself are in agreement with what All-That-Is knows about you, your heart sings. You love life. You love other people. You want to give generously. You want to receive all the gifts that life is offering.

Life is delicious, not just food.

At first, changing your thinking feels like walking out on a lake that has frozen over in winter. You aren’t sure how stable and solid the ice is. You don’t trust if it will really support you.

You begin by tentatively sticking a toe out and testing the strength of the ice. If that holds, you then add the weight of your whole foot, and slowly, you venture out further and further until you know that the ice is so strong, you could drive a car out on to it. Once you know how solid and stable it is, you then frolic freely.

So start with thoughts that are the equivalent of tapping your toe to test the ice.

Gratitude is a great place to start. Begin being grateful for the small things in your life that are stable and solid, such as your pillow as you go to sleep, the comfort of a hot shower, the feel of a soft shirt on your skin.

As you practice those thoughts and get more comfortable, begin to look for and savor life experiences that give you pleasure, comfort, satisfaction, and love. Fill up on those experiences instead of food.

For me, having a client experience an “a-ha” moment is absolutely delicious. I feel satisfied when I wake up with a kitty snuggled and purring in the crook of my arm. I savor moments of laughter with my husband. I am nourished by the wind blowing through the leaves as I walk in nature. I feel comfort in quiet moments with friends and family.

Life is juicy and delicious. How can you begin to look for and feel for each and every luscious moment? How does your finding more satisfaction in life change your need to seek comfort from food?

Together we can do it!