Love Is Good for Your Health

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If you will release all concern about how others feel about you, and focus only upon how you feel about them, you will unearth your core understanding of who-you-really-are, and you will discover what true freedom really is.

Abraham-Hicks

May I share something deeply personal with you?

I’ve been processing a lot of intense emotions the past couple of days. My intention with sharing this part of my story is that it may benefit you on some level. Maybe it will let you know that you are not alone, or that moving through and gaining a different perspective on challenging life experiences is possible. May you find this beneficial in some way.

Last month, I wrote about my father, who died over Thanksgiving weekend.

I had not had any connection with him since I was 15. He was emotionally and physically abusive, and I doubt that many people had any idea of the pain being inflicted on me, my mother, and brothers behind closed doors. It took him almost killing my mother one night for us to find the courage to leave him.

Over the years, I had put a lot of intention around consciously forgiving him, and even came to feel strongly that there was nothing to forgive.

While it was the absolute best decision I could have made to protect myself from any future physical and emotional harm that might have come from having direct contact with him, not forgiving him only hurt me.

Looking back at his upbringing, I had come to understand how he had been broken as a child, and how that had led to his actions with us. I had come to value my childhood experiences as key to who I am today, and to celebrate the different choices and patterns I have been able to make in my life. Where he could not break the cycle of pain, my brothers and I had.

And I thought I had opened my heart to him. When I received news of his death, I felt peace. It felt like the last little bit of my with-holding love relaxed as I envisioned my father on the other side experiencing the pure positive love of All-That-Is.

It was interesting on Friday to have an exchange with someone present in his life with a very different experience of my father. While I felt I listened to and even celebrated their positive memories, I felt saddened about missing out on the father I could have had. While I gave the briefest description of the man we knew, I didn’t dwell on it. I thought we ended the conversation on good terms and I felt positive about having reached out.

On Saturday, I awoke to an email that I am sure the writer did not intend to impact me the way it did. What was written was that my experience challenged their memories and they did not want to have any dealings with them. I felt they dismissed my experiences by saying it had happened in the “short” time I knew him, and it felt like they challenged my integrity and those I am closest to. It brought up old feelings of abandonment, and beliefs about my father not ever loving me.

While I had come to understand that no man is all of one thing—there is “good” and “bad” in everyone—what came up for me was the need to “justify” my father’s horrid behavior. That old victim energy bubbled up. We were the wronged ones, damn it. How dare they say our pain was not real or justified? I felt the need to defend my victim status.

But did I really want to dig my heels in around these challenging experiences? Did I really want to grab hold of them and grip them tight as my “story?” Was this not an opportunity to clean up old energy that had been hiding out under the rug?

I let myself feel these intense emotions with the intention of shifting my perspective.

There was a lot of relief in allowing myself to grieve and rail and condemn. But I was also revisiting some very dark spaces. Part of me was afraid I might get stuck there in that painful place.

But I am no longer the same person I was. I have too much experience moving through my shadow spaces. Not shining the light on them and recognizing that there is dirt there that needs to be cleaned is what prolongs pain.

So I reached out for support to my husband, friends, and family. I leaned into the emotions that were coming up, and recognized that the pain I was feeling was guidance from my Higher Self letting me know I was not thinking about this situation correctly.

Source only sees with the eyes of love. The pain I was feeling was because I was shutting that love off pretty darn effectively.

I began to remind myself of what this situation and my father had looked like through the lens of love I had donned earlier. I tried to look through the lens of love that this other person had for him.

About 3 a.m. this morning, the dog woke me up, and these thoughts flooded back into my consciousness. I began to envision a magnificent room in my heart and someone coming in and pulling the curtains back so that sunlight streamed in. Part of me wanted to hide under the covers and wail and bemoan the nightmare I had experienced. But this loving and kind helper told me it was just that, a nightmare. It would stop as soon as I opened my eyes and got up.

And so I did. In my mind, I walked through these magnificent rooms that were dusty from disuse. I could see some piles of dirt in places. So I pulled out a rag that was soaked in a cleaning solution that was pure positive love. And I began to clean and polish.

As I worked, positive memories of my father returned. I had been putting so much attention on the negative haunts that I had forgotten that there had been any good or fun times. I began to remember again that no man is all dark or all light. We each have some of each within us. And I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God loves and adores the man that was my father.

I could feel my energy shift.

There may be more for me to clean up, but I no longer feel the need to defend the awful memories I have. I have loosened my grip on them. They are no longer part of my current reality. The only one bringing them forward as relevant is me. I can allow the memories of those who loved him to remain intact, and not feel that I am somehow belittled by doing so.

If God loves my father, than that’s what I want to do, too.

When I got up this morning, I felt lighter and restabilized. I felt reconnected to the love of All-That-Is. I remembered my own well-being, which will add to my ultimate wellness.

I did not find the love in my heart for my father. I choose love because it was me that was suffering. It was me who had the key to the prison I created. Aligning with the love of All-That-Is sets me free.

It will set you free, too.

Together we can do it!

banner4This is it! This is my last blog post here! Please follow my new blog at LoveYourWaySlim.com to keep reading. Thank you for all your support here at Goss Coaching. I so appreciate each of you fabulous readers. Much love and blessings to you!

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Test if Your New Year’s Resolution to Lose Weight is Heading for Success or Failure

Success

 

Have you made a list of things you want to achieve in 2013? Chances are you made a resolution or two.

One of them was probably to lose weight.

Today, you may be fired up to get to the gym or to start that new diet. If so, Woo Hoo! Deciding to change is a huge step. Let’s harness that positive energy you are feeling right now and keep it going!

And if you are dreading being hungry and feeling deprived, and hate the idea of working out, that’s OK. You are where you are. Let’s begin to shift your energy to make your goal more appealing, and thus achievable.

No matter where you are, look at your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs and see if they are supporting your new actions, or if they are setting you up to fail.

For instance, how sustainable will your commitment to workout be if you are thinking thoughts like:

  • “I hate exercise.”
  • “I hate to sweat.
  • “I have to work out perfectly everyday or there’s no sense in doing it.”
  • “Exercise is no fun.”
  • “I am hating every moment of this.

Those kinds of thoughts will ensure you give up on your resolution.

You can tell by how they make you feel. How much do they fuel your belief that you can meet your goal? What outcome are they pointing towards?

Chances are if you’re thinking thoughts like these, you can’t jump right away to the idea that, “exercise is fun and you love it.” How honest does that feel? So begin by easing up on your thoughts just a little bit.

For instance:

  • “This may be hard, but I really want to meet my goal.”
  • “I know when I get this done I’m going to feel better.”
  • “I can do anything for 10 minutes.”
  • “I don’t have to be perfect, but I do need to be consistent.”
  • “I used to love running and playing as a kid. If I don’t love this exercise, I’ll find something else I enjoy.”
  • “Each small step I’m taking is moving me closer to my goal.”
  • “I’m building endurance and muscle. Tomorrow or next week this will be easier.”
  • “I want to do this because I want to be healthy, fit, and slim.”
  • “I want the freedom that health brings. I want to love my body—and life.”

Easing up a little on your thoughts feels better and fuels your positive beliefs that you can achieve your goals.

Aligning your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs to support your actions is like turbocharging your ability to meet your weight loss goal. 

Pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about your diet and exercise program. Are they moving you where you want to go? If they aren’t, change them to support your goals—and help ensure your resolution becomes reality!

Together we can do it!

Today is the day! Register now for my FREE tele-class to help you revolutionize your weight-loss resolution (so it finally works)! 

Transform Your New Year’s Resolution

to Lose Weight!

Make 2013 the Year

You Finally Get the Body You Want 

January 2, 2013, 8 p.m. USA Eastern

In this content-rich seminar you’ll discover:

  •  The Top 5 Ways You are Unknowingly Sabotaging Your Efforts to Lose Weight
  •  Why Your Weight is Still a Struggle for You and How to Break the Rebound Weight-gain Cycle Once and For All
  •  The Surprising Power You Have to Successfully Lose Weight and Improve the Life of You and Your Family
  •  3 Easy Tips to Transform Your New Year’s Resolution and Turn it into a Reality
  •  An Exciting NEW Opportunity to “Love Your Way Slim”
  •  And much more . . .

Sign up for the call now!  loveyourwayslim.com/transformyourresolution/

Let me help you make 2013 the year you mark “losing weight” off your list of New Year’s Resolutions forever!

PS I’ll be sending out a recording of the call, so even if you can’t listen live, sign up now! 

Flip the Mental Switch to Get the Body You Want

lightbulbDo you focus more on what you like about your body, or what you don’t? What feels good about your body, or what doesn’t? What you want your body to look like, or all that’s wrong with it right now?

If you are like most people, you put the majority of your attention on what you don’t want.

This is being problem focused and it just gets you more of the problem.

While it is important to have a clear understanding of the problem, you then need to shift your attention to the solution—to what you do want.

You want to become solution focused.

Einstein Intuition and SolutionBeing solution focused is looking at the body you will have rather than what is, or was. It’s thinking about why you want a healthy body. It’s putting your attention on what’s working, what feels good, and all the reasons you can get the body you want, instead of all the reasons you can’t.

The reason for this lies in the underlying energy. Focusing on the problem creates negative catabolic energy, while focusing on the solution generates positive anabolic energy.

Just think about the feelings you have when you are standing in front of the mirror looking at what you don’t like about your body.

You may feel:

  • Disappointed in yourself.
  • Betrayed by your body.
  • Shame that you and your body aren’t perfect.

Those negative feelings generate catabolic energy that impacts your body down to the cellular level—actually making it easier to gain and harder to release weight. Feelings such as fear, distress, and anger are all catabolic.

When you’re in a catabolic emotional state, harmful chemicals and hormones and other physical reactions actually impacts your mind’s ability to think creatively, generate ideas, or even recognize solutions.

You literally need to release the problem and shift your focus to the solution, like flipping a switch from off to on.

The problem, however, is often so compelling and distressing, that you’re stuck thinking about how much you hate your body. It’s almost as if you’re afraid to take your eyes off of how bad your body is because it might get worse when you aren’t looking.

If you think about it in the context of the principle “Energy Attracts Like Energy” (also known as the Law of Attraction), you can see that focusing exclusively on what you hate about your body generates more things about your body to hate.

When you ignore catabolic emotions over a long time, your body begins to register the destructive internal processes as illness. Headaches, back pains, and other physical problems often begin to appear. We may associate these with stress, which is basically just an umbrella-term for all the catabolic physical processes generated by a variety of negative thoughts and emotions. When these thoughts and emotions continue to be left unchecked, those catabolic physical reactions can escalate to bigger problems, such as heart attacks.

Of course things like diet and exercise play a role, but there is scientific research that associates almost all aspects of wellness to stress.

And catabolic energy impacts your minds ability to literally see obvious wellness solutions.

By shifting your focus to the body you do want and why you want it, you then begin to allow yourself to see the path to getting it.

Now imagine standing in front of the mirror focusing on a part of your body you do like. Let’s say you’re appreciating your beautiful hair, the curve of your lips, your elegant nails, your shapely calves, or the new muscles developing in your thighs.

Think about the feelings you are having.

You may feel:

  • Confident
  • Attractive
  • Strong
  • Powerful
  • Sexy

Those positive feelings generate anabolic energy that helps your body rebuild and regenerate—and yes, makes it easier to release weight.

Begin to pay attention to where you focus more on the problem than the solution, and try to shift your perspective.

When you shift to more positive thinking, the solutions began to appear. A friend asks you to be an accountability partner, or you have the opportunity to ensure some healthy foods are on the menu, or you recognize that 10 minutes is long enough to jump on the treadmill or go for a walk around the block.

When you release catabolic energy and shift to a more anabolic state, you truly allow All-That-Is (God, the Universe, Source, Higher power—whatever works for you) to provide the solutions you could never create on you own—and often couldn’t even imagine.

You shift your level of consciousness.

How much do you focus on what you don’t like about your body? What can you do to shift your attention to the body you do want and why you want it? What difference does that make in how you feel, and the energy you have to get the body you want?

Together we can do it!

 

Love Your Body to Get the Body You Love

 

Ready to stop the rebound weight cycle once and for all? While in Sedona last week, I put the finishing touches on a new coaching program starting January 7 that will help you finally get the body you really want.

“I want perfect health! I like feeling good. I enjoy my good-feeling body. I have many positive memories of feeling good in my body. I see many people who are clearly in a state of good health, and it is easy to see how much they are enjoying their good-feeling bodies.” When I think thoughts like these, I feel good. These thoughts are in harmony with a healthy body.

Abraham-Hicks

 

 

I’m just going to come out and say it.

There is more to getting the body you want than diet and exercise alone.

This is the reason that an estimated 85 to 95 percent of diet and exercise programs fail long-term.

What is this vital piece that is missing?

It’s the energy at your core.

This is the energy that is generated by your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that is literally impacting your body at the cellular level.

It is this core energy that also connects you to Who you really are, and the Divine presence that is working in your life.

In the Core Energy Coaching™ Process that I use with my clients, the focus is two types of energies that are within each person’s core: Anabolic Energy and Catabolic Energy. 

Catabolic Energy is draining, destructive, and harmful to your body. It’s associated with negative thoughts and emotions.

It’s Stress.

Negative thoughts, feelings, and beliefs, generate catabolic energy that releases the stress hormone cortisol, adrenaline, and other chemicals that literally can cannibalize your body. Over time, this catabolic energy can cause everything from painful trigger points in your shoulders, to inflammation, to heart attacks.

It can even impact your metabolism and other weight-related systems making it easier to gain and harder to release weight.

At the other end of the spectrum is positive Anabolic energy.

Anabolic Energy is constructive and growth oriented. It’s associated with positive thoughts and emotions.

The anabolic energy generated by positive thoughts, feelings, and beliefs releases endorphins, testosterone, and body supporting hormones that help your body heal, rebuild, and flow with physical energy.

And yes, makes it easier to release excess weight.

Here’s an example of how catabolic thoughts, feelings, and beliefs impact your weight.

If you frequently feel that you are at the effect of external circumstances that you believe are outside of your control, at some level you feel powerless.

Maybe this shows up as:

  • Feeling unappreciated by your boss and you come home and eat a pint of ice cream.
  • Or you feel overwhelmed by everything you have on your Holiday to-do list, and fall into the chocolate.
  •  Or you’re dreading the work project you are facing, and mindlessly eat an entire bag of chips.

Some element of life is coming at you, and you are coping with these negative, emotions by eating a food that will trigger a temporary hormonal reaction in your body that does makes you feel better.

It’s like taking a drug–you do feel better!

The problem is that once the physical reaction subsides, feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing take over, driving up negative catabolic chemical reactions in your body—and those negative feelings send you back to the fridge.

Now you’re caught in an unhealthy spiral.

Your level of energy determines how successful you will be at getting the body—and life—that you want.

  • The more positive anabolic energy you have, the more capacity, buy-in, and overall success you have—meaning you have the energy to get up in the morning and move.
  • Your core energy impacts your self-concept and your concept of the world around you—those things that can drive you to the fridge.
  • It impacts how you relate, perceive and engage with others.

When you shift your core energy level by changing your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs—about your body, who you really are, and what you are capable of–you begin to fall in love with yourself.

Recognizing how stunningly beautiful you already are makes it so much easier to get the body you want.

Begin by consciously spending a few minutes every day thinking thoughts about your body and wellness that make you feel good.

While you may not see physical changes right away, you will immediately feel the difference when you are thinking thoughts that are in harmony with your body.

It comes down to this simple truth.

Positive thoughts and emotions support your body down to the cellular level. To get the body you want, practice being happy.

Together we can do it!

 

 

5 Easy Tips to Make Creating Healthy Habits Fun!

Calendar January 2 Transformation StartMost people are not going to start a new eating or exercise program before January 2.

But you can drastically increase the chances of fulfilling your New Year’s resolution to lose weight by creating new mental habits right now

And it can take as little as 5 minutes a day.

Think about how much you get done when you are excited, eager, and looking forward to something. Now think about how hard it is to make progress when you are dreading something, don’t want to do it, resent it, etc.

While you can move forward and get stuff done while you are feeling negative catabolic emotions, consciously shifting to positive anabolic thoughts before you begin a task is like putting on rocket boosters. 

Not only is your power to get things done greater, but it’s easier and more fun.

Most of what makes releasing weight “hard” are your current mental habits.

You have thoughts about how hard it is to lose weight that you have repeated for so long that you don’t even realize there’s another way to look at it. You have practiced dreading dieting. You have developed a mental rut on exercise that is not serving you.

These are just some catabolic habits of thought you have going on. Thoughts are made of energy, not marble. They can be changed! 

Why do you want to go to the trouble of creating positive, life-building anabolic mental habits, you might ask?

Because anabolic thoughts result in emotions that feel good.

Those emotions make your heart sing. When you are feeling anabolic emotions, you know that things are always working out for you. When there’s a problem, you see the solution. You laugh more. You relax more. You are happy to be alive. 

As a result, the actions you need to take feel easier.

  • Instead of hating to work out, you start to enjoy it.
  • You find you like the taste of fresh vegetables.
  • You easily make the decision to turn off the T.V. and go to bed so you will wake up rested and refreshed.
  • Water starts to taste good.

 It’s easy. It feels like the choice you want to make.

Progress not perfection

Start now to create these new mental habits and come January 2 you will be so ready to turn these thoughts into action that there will be no stopping you!

Here are 5 easy ways to begin creating new mental habits:

  • Make a list of how you want to feel come January 2.
  • Think about all the reasons Why you want to be fit, strong, and slim. (Go deeper than just looking good.)
  • Remember all the ways you enjoyed being active when you were a kid.
  • Slow down during meals and really appreciate your food and how it is building the body you want.
  • Appreciate the life giving aspects of the water you are drinking.

Doesn’t that feel good?

Now practice these thoughts every day.

Often people will use the excuse that they don’t have time to create new mental habits, particularly during the holidays.

Truly, you don’t have time not to!

By taking a few minutes now, you will more than make up with ease and efficiency when you do start your eating and exercise program.

A huge bonus is that the more you practice these new mental habits, the easier and more fun your life becomes.

What is one thing you can begin to do regularly to shift your mental habits? What difference does that make in creating the body—and life—you want come January 2nd?

Together we can do it!

Getting Back on Track After Thanksgiving

Nothing else in your experience responds as quickly as your own physical body to your patterns of thought.

Abraham-Hicks

For the first time in two years, my body let me know just before Thanksgiving that I was not following my own advice about loving myself for optimal wellness.

In other words, I was sick over the holiday.

The reminder to tend to my own self-care was actually a message I’d been getting for several weeks.

But I had exciting things underway with travel for a business mastermind retreat, professional photo session, and VIP day with my coach where we created plans for me to launch a new website on December 13, start a new Love Your Way Slim coaching program on January 7, and hold a beachside retreat for 8 women in Charleston, South Carolina, in April. Plus my folks were arriving for five days to celebrate Thanksgiving.

I was focused on “doing.” And it felt like “too much” happening at once.

There is so much more to wellness than checking your workout off your “to-do” list and eating relatively healthy foods.

A significant part of optimal wellness is believing in your wellness and your capacity to deal with any outer situation.

The purpose of life is to give you a chance to be the

grandest version of the greatest vision ever you held

about Who You Are. When challenges arrive, then,

move straight to clarity: This is what you came for.

Now rise to this occasion, and know that you have

every resource with which to create the right and

perfect outcome.

Neale Donald Walsch

The good news is not feeling well forced me to take some time to “Be.” I used the time to rest, meditate, spend quality time with my family, and read a book that felt like the next logical step in my own spiritual development.

And I focused on what I know.

  • Almost all illness and injury is evidence of being out of balance and is temporary. Wellness is your natural state of being.
  • You are unique, powerful, gifted, resourceful, and loved. A great part of optimal wellness is seeing yourself that way.
  • You are never, ever, given a challenge you cannot overcome.

I am grateful that my body gave me a great reminder to take the time to rest and reflect on my beliefs about myself, what I am capable of, and what I deserve, and to tap into what is really important to me.

How are your current beliefs impacting your optimal wellness? Are they helping you be the “the greatest vision ever you held about Who You Are?”

If not, how do you need to change how you think about you?

Together we can do it!

Create the Holidays You Want

I was thinking that I would blog today about getting back on track with food after the big Thanksgiving meal most of us Americans ate yesterday. But as I sat down to write, I realized that for many people, it’s their emotional wellness that is more strained today then their waistbands.

There’s a lot about the holidays that can impact people’s wellness—whether it’s gaining weight, or having your emotional wellness impacted by depression, overwhelment, and stress, as well as challenging relationships.

The typical things that can throw people out of balance–and have them reaching for extra helpings of their favorite comfort food–during the holidays include:

  • Unmet expectations—you might be trying to live up to a romanticized notion of how the holidays should be, either from your memories of when you were a kid or from how the holidays are portrayed in the movies. Or you may be trying to make everything perfect—for yourself or for others. This is something Mom’s can really struggle with because they want to make things perfect for their kids.
  • Other people’s expectations—you can be dealing with expectations of how you should act, or your perception of other people’s expectations. You may really struggle with feeling like you’re disappointing people, or feel like they have a negative perception of you that you can use as a reason to feel bad about yourself.
  • Dwelling on negative things—you might have previous holiday-related disappointments or difficult times that haunt you this time of year.
  • Challenging relationships—tensions often run high during the holidays and there may be family misunderstandings and conflicts, particularly if you’re spending a lot more time together than usual. Or you may be facing the holidays without a loved one, which can also leave you feeling lonely and sad.
  • Extra physical demands—all the shopping, decorating, socializing, cooking, sending out holiday cards—the list goes on and on—can leave you wiped out. Particularly if you feel like you have to do it all yourself. Being exhausted increases stress. Exercise and sleep—those good solutions for stress and fatigue—may take a back seat to chores and errands.

Having a different experience over the holidays is really about making different choices.

Here are some tips for creating the holidays you want:

  • Define what the holidays really mean to you and how you want to feel. Then make that vision your priority. Let go of anything that doesn’t create that vision and feeling.
  • Take care of you! Take the time to meditate, exercise, and get enough rest so that you have mental clarity and physical energy. Taking care of you enables you to take care of others–and be the version of you that others actually want to be around!
  • Focus on the best qualities of everyone you love and forgive them for not being perfect. And most importantly, forgive yourself for not being perfect!
  • Let go of the responsibility for anyone else’s happiness. I know it’s hard to hear and even harder to believe, but this includes your kids!
  • Release the need to do everything yourself and either ask for help or let things go. That means not criticizing your partner when they do things differently then how you would have done them. Done equals beautiful!
  • Focus on all the things you appreciate. If you can only do one thing, do this!
  • Focus on all the reasons you want to start the New Year feeling great. Write down the reminders and read them when you start to feel stressed.
  • Celebrate each tiny thing that you do that creates your balanced and fulfilled holiday experience. Taking a stress-relieving bath, going for a walk, not snapping at your kids–all wins!
  • Reach out for support to help you get through the challenges you are facing. It can be hard to ask for what you need, but this is not the time to go it alone. Seek the support of a friend, hire a coach, or reach out to a free on-line support community, like http://www.transformation.com/.

Ultimately, getting through the holidays feeling healthy and happy is about letting go of the need to be perfect. It’s reaching for the hope and belief that life can get better and better.

Yesterday was just one day in your hopefully very long life. If it didn’t go as well as you hoped, for whatever reason, what can you do today to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep making progress toward the body–and life–you want?

Together we can do it!