Wellness Tip of the Day: Ease up on your self-criticism and examine your own judgments. When you see yourself—and others—as beautiful you change the world.
Does it involve a certain body weight or shape? A certain wellness level? When you look in the mirror do you see your definition of beauty smiling back?
I often hear clients focused on wanting to change how others see women and judge beauty. There is much frustration that women on television and in ads are significantly thinner than average. People point to pundits’ criticisms of specific bodies. There are many photos of past sex symbols who were less than lean tied to complaints about the changing definition of beauty.
But how likely is it that you are going to change society, or the modeling, television, or advertising industries?
Wouldn’t it be easier to focus on your own judgments and definition of beauty?
Until you are so pure in your appreciation of every woman’s body and beauty that a critical thought is never entertained, until your actions align 100 percent with your personal definition of wellness, and you can look in the mirror with not only appreciation but adoration, you have no power to change anyone else.
You may want others to deem you—or more women—as beautiful, but before that can happen, you must judge yourself as beautiful first. And you must allow everyone else to have their own definition of beauty.
This is the sticking point for most women. You have to stop looking outside of you for self-esteem, appreciation, and acceptance. Those are things you have to give to yourself.
It is only when you began making these internal changes that you will begin to see lasting external changes.
To do this, you have to begin:
- Letting go of the fear of other people’s judgments.
- Aligning your actions with your beliefs and desires.
- Looking for and appreciating your beauty and innate value—body, mind, and spirit
Instead of trying to change others, how would it feel to examine your own judgments and definition of beauty? How could you begin to align more fully with that?
The best way to change the world is to change how you see yourself.
Together we can do it!
Wellness Tip of the Weekend: Stop trying to change how others see beauty and examine your own judgments. When you see yourself as beautiful you change the world.
You may be accepting the negative messages offered by your inner critic as true. And you feel bad.
Symptoms of this include:
- Feeling body shame when you look in the mirror
- Being overly critical of specific body parts
- Wanting to hide under the covers when you have sex with your partner
- Feeling impatient when the weight doesn’t drop off instantly
Stop right there!
Chances are those flimsy arguments offered up by your Gremlin are totally bogus. Search your thoughts with the bright light of Truth—those Universal Truths that are true no matter who, no matter what.
Now you probably won’t be able to jump in an instant from feeling body shame to the Truth that your body is beautiful. But a feeling of relief lets you know you are headed in the right direction.
Choose a different—better feeling—thought that creates an entirely new path.
This might look like:
- Recognizing that your body is working hard to help you meet your goals. You didn’t get where you are overnight and it will take a little time to get where you want to go.
- Focusing on a body part you can praise.
- Focusing on the love you are expressing with your body.
- Having faith that your body is responding to your eating healthy and exercising. Changes are coming!
When you catch yourself feeling a negative emotion, use that as a cue to look at your thinking. If you think it’s your Gremlin talking, reason your way through its messages looking for Truth.
What better feeling thought can you choose that moves you towards your goals?
Together we can do it!
Wellness Tip of the Day: Imagine what it must feel like to have a beautiful body. Find that feeling and practice it. Look for ways to appreciate your body.
Wellness Tip of the Day: To create a beautiful body, you must think beautiful thoughts. You can’t create a beautiful body while hating the one you have.
What do you see when you look in the mirror? What are your thoughts about yourself? How much praise is there compared to criticism?
Would you speak to someone else the way you speak to yourself? How would they feel if you did? What if you said those things to a child? Would it nourish them, or make them tremble?
Often, what we say to ourselves would get us arrested if we said them to a child. If it’s not OK to say to someone else, why is it OK to say to yourself?
One of my client’s biggest limiting beliefs—and one that I used to share—is believing that they are less than; less valuable, less important, less smart, less beautiful, less worthy, etc.
I wish that I had a mirror I could hold up so that you could see the Being that you truly are. To help you see that you have intrinsic value—no matter what you do or don’t do.
In this mirror you would see that you are as unique as a snow flake. There is not anyone else in the world that has had the exact same experiences as you, or who sees the world in exactly the same way. Your unique perspective adds value to this world. It is important to All-That-Is.
You are more powerful than you can even imagine. You have complete creative control over your life if you will just take it. All it requires is shifting your focus to where you want to go, knowing that it is an absolute fact that you will get there, and releasing control of how you arrive at that place. Simple, but not necessarily easy.
You are uniquely gifted. Your gifts add to this world the way an instrument adds to a symphony. Your instrument sounds beautiful all on its own, and adds to the whole when it is joined with others. Your instrument only sounds flat and out of tune when you are being less than you truly are.
You are resourceful and are much greater and wiser than you appear to be. Your solution to any problem is always there if you will but take your eyes off the problem long enough to look for it.
And you are loved more than you can possibly imagine. Not only by your families, but by people whose lives you have touched as no one else has, and by the Source of All-That-Is.
Allow yourself to begin seeing yourself this way. There are no reprimands or limitations in your mind other than the ones you shackle yourself with. No angry hordes will come after you with pitchforks for acknowledging that you are unique, powerful, gifted, resourceful, and loved.
In fact, that spark of good feeling, that sense of upliftment, that outright feeling of joy is letting you know that you are speaking the Truth about yourself—maybe for the first time.
This Truth can only come from the inside out. You cannot depend on anyone else to see or confirm it. But I see it. I know this is who you are. And when you allow yourself to see it, too, you will be empowered to live as who you are meant to be.
Together we can do it!