Dang That’s Judgmental

One of the things I love about stepping outside my comfort zone is that my shadow side may show up. That’s the part of me that is insecure, defensive, judgmental—you get the idea. It’s an amazing opportunity to practice showing up as authentically me—regardless of the people or situation.

The authentic me is loving and accepting. The authentic me sees my value—and the value in each person and situation. The authentic me knows that there are no mistakes and that the diversity of people and opinions is what makes the world go round. The authentic me knows that speaking my truth with ease and grace will be a gift to others, even if it doesn’t seem like it in the moment.

If I am acting out of anger, frustration, defensiveness, fear, judgment, or condemnation, I’m not being authentically me—and I have the opportunity to make a difference choice.

The onus is on me to stay connected to my Higher Self (God, All-That-Is, Universe, Source—whatever works for you) and to pay attention if I am coming from a place of love or a place of anger, a place of appreciation or a place of fear.

One way for you to stay authentic and maintain your connection to your Higher Self in relationships—particularly if you have a history of pushing each other’s buttons—is to actively focus on all the good qualities of the other person. To literally practice seeing them in the best light.

There are a couple of ways to do this.

Create a list of all the things about the other person that you appreciate, and read and add to it every day.

Practice a visualization. See yourself bathed in a golden light that feels like joy and love, and then expand that light to include other people. First extend the light to the people you love and get along with easily. As the light grows brighter and more powerful, expand it to include more challenging people.

You may think that it’s the other person who needs to change so that you all can get along, but you are contributing just as much to the difficult dynamics. It’s up to you to show up differently.

The only person you can control is you. Choose now how you want to show up.  Practice showing up authentically.

And if you do react in a less than ideal way—as I guarantee that you sometimes will—the primary thing to do is forgive yourself. You don’t have to be perfect. Just pick yourself up and keep practicing being the best possible version of you so you show up more authentically the next time.

Together we can do it!

Living Life By Choosing a Woo to the ‘Who’

While meeting a deadline, attending a workshop, and traveling over the next few days, I thought I would share the inspiring words of some other fabulous coaches.

Today’s blog is from my friend, mentor and coach, Jennifer Barley.

Every day I feel like I am living a bit more authentically—the true me. I am recognizing patterns that don’t serve me as well as the patterns that do serve me well. I am letting go of putting pressure on myself to do more, be more, and show the world more.

I am having fun finding out who I am. Exploring the various sides of me. Understanding myself more and more. Questioning thoughts. Thinking about answers. Continuing to shake up my ‘Who’.

I have found that I do really well when I take the time to slow down. I think back on my prior ‘Who’—always rushing from one thing to the next, working all the time, my mind constantly racing and not slowing down—only to be exhausted at the end of the day. I was always going a thousand miles a minute.

My new ‘Who’ is about ease. Not resisting. Not defending. Not going against the flow. Approaching my day with ease. Enhancing my work by leveraging the things that I am doing. Being grateful for the ease that has been created in my life.

I can still get wound for sound—and it is with ease that I remind myself to breathe.

I am working on eliminating my “shoulds” in life and working on the “want tos.” I am working on straightforward conversations. I am working on not changing Who I want to be.

I am feeling a true Woo-Who!

Jennifer Barley is a Professional Certified Life Coach, public speaker, Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) instructor, author and former award-winning Weight Loss Leader.

It is Jennifer’s strong belief that every person can create whatever life they choose and she partners with her clients to make it happen. She has a strong talent for motivating, inspiring and adding humor to every situation.

Jennifer works with clients one-on-one, in workshop environments, and through online tele-classes. As the KickStart Coach™ Jennifer is committed to providing the support, encouragement, accountability, and motivation that her clients need to get inspired and get in the game.

You can learn more about her at www.jenniferbarley.com and read her blog at http://blog.jenniferbarley.com