Memorial Day weekend is before us and pools across the U.S. will be opening for Summer.

If you’ve been working hard and are fit and ready to show off your bikini-ready body; Congratulations!

If not, don’t decline that pool-party invitation. Go and have fun, anyway.

Too often, people are so afraid of how others “might” judge them that they curtail their summer activities and how much fun they allow themselves to have. Pool- or beach-side fun are put off until some future time when they have lost the weight or are in better shape. Or if they do go, they’re so uncomfortable that they wind up being miserable.

Life is too short to put off fun—perhaps indefinitely—because of what someone “might” think. That’s like not being willing to go outside because a meteor “might” fall on your head.

It’s time to start living fully now.

One way to shift your thoughts to allow yourself to be more comfortable pool-side is to think about what you think about others. Are you judging them harshly or are you so concerned about your own body that you aren’t giving them much thought? And if you are judging others, how long are you focused on them before your thoughts turn back to yourself?

Most people aren’t judging you because they are too focused on how they look in a swimsuit. And if they are judging, you may be a target of their focus for a total of 30 seconds before they turn their focus to someone else, or more likely, back to themselves and what they’re doing.

How reasonable it is to curtail your fun and enjoyment for any amount of time because of what someone “might” think about you for 30 seconds? Seriously, is the impact on your life worth it?

I know it feels scary. I’ve had people say hurtful things about my body. But my curtailing my joy is giving that person and that 30 second incident way more power than it deserves. And if I had been fully present, confident in Who I am, and having fun anyway, would they have seen me the same way and said what they said? I think not.

What’s really happening is you are judging yourself way more harshly and for much longer than anyone else on the planet. This really isn’t about the judgment of others. This is about your continual self-judgment. You are holding the key to the shackles that you have put on yourself. And you have the power set yourself free.

Unfortunately the mental shackles we put in place are often way more powerful than a ball and chain would be. It will probably take practice to move from insecurity to security. But it can be done, and the reward is a fuller, richer, and more joyful life. Might be worth practicing, don’t you think?

One way to practice is to pick someone whose body you admire. Then image what it would feel like to have that body. Would you feel confident, appreciative, and sexy?

Find those feelings and literally practice feeling that way. For instance, think about when you feel most confident, and then feel confident. Think about things about your body that you can appreciate—even if it’s that your heart is beating or you have beautiful hands—and feel appreciative. Think about a time you have felt sexy in the past—and feel sexy now.

There is no law that says that because your body isn’t perfect, you don’t deserve to live the life of your dreams. How can you let go of those self-imposed limitations? How can you live life more fully now?

Together we can do it!

For more tips on mentally preparing for swimsuit season, check out these past blogs:

Five Tips for Feeling Great about Bathing-Suit Season

Bathing Suit Blues: How to Shift from Dread to Delight

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