Category Archives: Emotional Eating

3 Easy Tips to Create a Slimmer You in 2013

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ScaleOver this holiday week, you may have found yourself eating, and eating, and eating!

And you may be beating yourself up about it.

But telling yourself how horrible you are truly is NOT helpful—and it could very well end up making you feel so bad about yourself that you unknowingly sabotage your future efforts to lose weight. 

It will probably go something like this:

You feel fat. You may even feel desperate to lose weight. Every time you feel how tight your clothes are, all you can think about is how much you hate your body.

You know you need to diet and exercise so that you can drop some weight, but it’s the end of the year, right? Why start now?

You make a New Year’s Resolution to lose weight. You decide that on January 2nd you are going to start dieting and exercising.

Between now and then you keep eating, and eating, and eating. You are trying to cram in every food you love to prepare for months of hunger and deprivation.

You feel bloated, headachy, and slightly sick.

And you hate yourself even more. You feel ashamed that you’ve let your weight get out of hand—again.

On January 2, you force yourself to work out and you start a diet that drastically cuts the amount of food you’ve been eating.

Each day gets harder and harder.

Maybe your diet lasts for a day or two, or for a week or two, or maybe you are even successful at meeting your goal.

And then you feel your control slip.

You just can’t maintain the rigid diet and exercise “rules” you’ve set in place. You’re tired of being hungry. Your tired of feeling deprived. Your tired of feeling like you aren’t fully living your life.

Before you know it, you’ve regained the weight you’ve lost—and then some.

This time next year, you find yourself putting “losing weight” at the top of your list of New Year’s resolutions—again.

It’s time to say, “ENOUGH!”

There is another way! And you don’t have to follow rigid rules, feel hungry and deprived to get the body you want. (Honestly!)

The first tip  is to ease up on the self-criticism.

This makes sense when you think about the the foundation principle that Energy Attracts Like Energy (also known at the Law of Attraction).

If you spend all your time thinking about the fact that you don’t have the body you want, you are actually creating more life experiences where you are unhappy with your body.

Begin using this Universal Law to work for you instead of against you! 

Start today by focusing on what you can appreciate about your body. By focusing on what is working and what you do like, you will create more opportunities to appreciate and love your body.

The second tip  is to ease up (just slightly!) on the food intake.

This is not the last time you will be able to eat your favorite foods. (I promise!) When you take off the pressure of “never being able to eat this again!” there is not the frenzy to shove everything in now before the “diet deadline.”

Eat what actually feels good. What you really want in this moment. What you can really savor.

There is more than enough. There is plenty. You can still eat your favorite foods AND lose weight. 

Taking the self-imposed pressure off means you will eat less, enjoy more, and start the year maybe not quite as heavy and physically hung-over as you would be otherwise.

You will feel better and have some momentum going on January 2, so beginning to implement some healthier eating doesn’t come as such a shock to your system.

The third tip is to take baby steps.

If going to the extreme of implementing rigid rules and drastically reduced calories is going to make you feel deprived and resentful—and ultimately send your efforts to create the body you want on the skids—then why go that route?

What if instead you committed to eating a little bit healthier today? Or getting in a 10 minute walktoday? And you celebrated what you did, instead of what you didn’t do? Would making that same commitment be a little easier tomorrow? What would your wellness journey look like next week? Next month? In six months?

“A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.”

Lao-tzu, Chinese philosopher (604 BC – 531 BC)

What step are you willing to take on your wellness journey today?

When you just keep taking those small steps, it’s not too much time before you have achieved your New Year’s Resolution and have created the body—and lifestyle—you want!

Together we can do it!

I’m offering a FREE tele-class to help you revolutionize your weight-loss resolution (so it finally works)!

Transform Your New Year’s Resolution

to Lose Weight!

Make 2013 the Year

You Finally Get the Body You Want  

 

January 2, 2013, 8 p.m. USA Eastern

In this content-rich seminar you’ll discover:

  • The Top 5 Ways You are Unknowingly Sabotaging Your Efforts to Lose Weight
  • Why Your Weight is Still a Struggle for You and How to Break the Rebound Weight-gain Cycle Once and For All
  • The Surprising Power You Have to Successfully Lose Weight and Improve the Life of You and Your Family
  • 3 Easy Tips to Transform Your New Year’s Resolution and Turn it into a Reality
  • An Exciting NEW Opportunity to “Love Your Way Slim”
  • Plus Much More…

Simply register by filling out the form at loveyourwayslim.com/transformyourresolution/ and you’ll receive access to this free call.

 

Reclaim Your Feminine Power to Get the Body You Want

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dance walkWhen you exercise, do you love and adore your body? Are you having so much fun you wish you were doing your workout at other times during the day? Does moving your body help you tap you’re your sensuality and feminine power?

In this provocative TEDx talk, Sheila Kelley shares how tapping into your feminine power can help you in every part of your life—include getting the body you want.

The challenge is that all women have learned to be ashamed of your bodies.

Kelley shares that every woman has a “First Offense” that brought negative attention, judgment or shame to your body.

I vividly remember my “First Offense.”

When I was 5 years old, my father told me I needed to learn how to suck in my stomach.

Me blowing out the candles on my 5th birthday

Me blowing out the candles on my 5th birthday

Now at age 5, I wasn’t fat. But how I interpreted his comment was that he was telling me I was fat. He was telling me there was something wrong with my body.

I was a tomboy who always had scabs on my knees from falls and crashes on my bike. Shortly after that conversation with my father I remember for the first time being embarrassed at how my banged up knees looked and trying to pull my knee socks up as high as they would go to cover them up.

For the first time, I suffered from body shame.

From that moment on, I focused almost exclusively on my flaws, and what was wrong with me. And for most of my life, I struggled with my weight.

That was just the first offence. With every criticism or judgment we receive as we grow and mature, we close ourselves off from our feminine power.

This is why so many women “hide” behind unhealthy eating habits.

Kelley says 80 percent of women in America feel something is missing and they have no idea what it is.

That “it” is reclaiming your feminine essence and reclaiming your body.

Near the end of the talk, Kelley invites every woman to, “Step into the grandeur, the beauty, the gorgeousness, the sway, the curve, the power, the fire of your body, of your spirit, of your emotions.”

Reconnecting with your feminine power is an important step in getting the body you want.

Together we can do it!

Aren’t You Curious?

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I set aside time yesterday to work on my business bookkeeping. In addition to a little bit of procrastination, I found myself starting the project with a small bowl of dark chocolate chips.

And I went back for seconds.

Of course this is not the end of the world and I did get the bookkeeping done, but what both the procrastination and chocolate let me know is that I have some negative, catabolic thoughts, emotions, and beliefs going on that I need to look at.

Whenever your actions and goals aren’t in alignment, it just means there’s some underlying catabolic energy that needs to be addressed. That’s it. It’s not an indication of your strength of character, willpower, or how good a person you are.

And it’s not about the food.

Mentally beating yourself up in these situations is the equivalent of throwing gasoline on a fire. Adding negative self-criticism is literally just making the underlying catabolic energy stronger and giving it more momentum.

It’s best just to step back and observe yourself with curiosity. What’s going on here? What am I thinking? What am I feeling? What do I believe about myself in regards to this situation?

And don’t even try to change your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs in that moment. Remember, you’ve got some energetic momentum built up. Stepping in front of an energetic tidal wave will emotionally pound you into the rocks.

Just watch and let the wave go by. Later, when you’re feeling good and are in a positive, anabolic state of energy, you can revisit the scenario and look at the underlying beliefs. Not only do you gain clarity from this better-feeling place, but you can more powerfully change your thoughts so that the next time you’re better able to align your actions with your goals.

In my situation, I have some lingering limiting beliefs about my math skills that go back to grade school, as well as expectations about how “unfun” bookkeeping is, etc., etc. So here’s how I shifted my thinking after meditating this morning.

The reality is putting my bookkeeping off feels way worse than doing it. And as long as I have a calculator, I’m actually pretty good at it. I have an intuitive sense that enables me to make smart decisions. There’s a part of me that really enjoys seeing the numbers line up. And I see the income I’m making as an indication of the value and service I’m providing my clients. And I love how the income is helping me build my business so I can support and help empower more women. It feels very satisfying to have my books in order and to know exactly how much I have spent and earned. I love the feeling of being on top of things and knowing the ins and outs of my business.

Now, next time I’m sitting down to do my books, I’ll be able to tap into that feeling of satisfaction, enjoyment, and even empowerment, and I’ll be less likely to feel the need to reach for chocolate.

However, because this issue entails some long-standing limiting beliefs, I may have to do this process several times before I am chocolate-free. But each time I do it, I’m shifting the underlying energy to a more positive place.

As I let go of the catabolic feeling of dread around bookkeeping and switch it to a more anabolic feeling of expectation, satisfaction, and even eagerness, not only will I be able to let go of the chocolate, but I’ll have an increase in energy that will enable me to be more productive and engaged in all areas of my life.

The next time you find yourself doing some stress- or emotional-eating, just observe yourself with curiosity. Pay attention to what you are thinking and feeling. Later, when you are feeling better, look at how can you change those beliefs.

Together we can do it!

 

Photo from www.freedigitalphotos.net

 

 

Isn’t Life Delicious?

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DELICIOUS adj \di-ˈli-shəs\

1: affording great pleasure : delightful

2: appealing to one of the bodily senses especially of taste or smell

Merriam-Webster

Why do you eat?

For very few people is it just to give their bodies the vital nutrients they need to sustain life.

For women who struggle with their weight, eating is often their primary source of pleasure, comfort, satisfaction, and even experience of love.

This is why diets cause such feelings of deprivation.

Who wants to live a life void of pleasurable feelings? Certainly not me!

And you don’t have to!

All that’s happened is that over time—and for a variety of valid reasons—you have shut yourself off from sources of satisfaction, comfort, and love because they have also been sources of pain, dissatisfaction, and loneliness.

The lover who broke your heart, the friend who betrayed you, the parent or boss who tried to control you sent you to the one obvious and consistent source of comfort—food.

It was a totally normal reaction. Food is delicious. It’s pleasurable, satisfying, and comforting. And it’s easy.

But it’s also betrayed you.

It’s caused you to gain weight. It’s negatively impacted your health. It’s momentary comfort is completely outweighed by the overwhelming feelings of guilt and self-loathing that it now causes.

It’s no longer giving you what you were seeking in the first place—those pleasurable feelings.

It’s time to begin looking for these feelings in the only place they will be given consistently. From the only place you can truly count on them being there 100 percent of the time, no matter what you do, say, or be. Where you know you are absolutely loved and adored.

The Source of pleasure, satisfaction, comfort, nourishment, and love is All-That-Is (God, the Universe, Higher Coach—whatever works for you). And your thoughts are what help you tune into these feelings—or not.

No one else is “making” you feel anything. It was not your boyfriend who made you feel unworthy—it was because you believed him.

Thoughts of your unworthiness feel so bad because they are not true. In the eyes of All-That-Is, you are utterly and completely perfect.

But because you have taken the word of a lot of people with limited perspectives over the knowing of All-That-Is, you have pretty well convinced yourself that you are unworthy. You may even have a strong negative reaction to the very idea that you are perfect.

Remember the infant “You” that was in your mother’s arms? Would you judge the infant “You” as anything other than perfect? Would you ever have been “bad” if someone else who had been told they were “bad” hadn’t perpetuated the inaccurate assessment?

Most of what was judged “bad” by others was simply eagerness, exuberance, and joy that was seen as inappropriate by someone who you believed knew better than you.

When your thoughts about yourself are in agreement with what All-That-Is knows about you, your heart sings. You love life. You love other people. You want to give generously. You want to receive all the gifts that life is offering.

Life is delicious, not just food.

At first, changing your thinking feels like walking out on a lake that has frozen over in winter. You aren’t sure how stable and solid the ice is. You don’t trust if it will really support you.

You begin by tentatively sticking a toe out and testing the strength of the ice. If that holds, you then add the weight of your whole foot, and slowly, you venture out further and further until you know that the ice is so strong, you could drive a car out on to it. Once you know how solid and stable it is, you then frolic freely.

So start with thoughts that are the equivalent of tapping your toe to test the ice.

Gratitude is a great place to start. Begin being grateful for the small things in your life that are stable and solid, such as your pillow as you go to sleep, the comfort of a hot shower, the feel of a soft shirt on your skin.

As you practice those thoughts and get more comfortable, begin to look for and savor life experiences that give you pleasure, comfort, satisfaction, and love. Fill up on those experiences instead of food.

For me, having a client experience an “a-ha” moment is absolutely delicious. I feel satisfied when I wake up with a kitty snuggled and purring in the crook of my arm. I savor moments of laughter with my husband. I am nourished by the wind blowing through the leaves as I walk in nature. I feel comfort in quiet moments with friends and family.

Life is juicy and delicious. How can you begin to look for and feel for each and every luscious moment? How does your finding more satisfaction in life change your need to seek comfort from food?

Together we can do it!

Do You Know Who You Are?

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What if Who you are at your best is Who you truly are? That your very core is the person who responds with a kind word, helps others, and engages with and loves life?

What if all you had to do to be the best possible version of you was to accept that higher vision as Truth, and let go of some long-practiced inaccurate thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about Who you are, what you deserve, and how great your life can be?

Would being that bigger, brighter, happier version of you be worth the time and effort to let go of everything but the belief that you can be that person?

If you at least hope that these words are true, then you can become the best possible version of you.

If you don’t believe they are true, then that is all that is holding you back from doing the same thing.

During coach training this weekend, I got some clarity on all those things that I think and tell myself that hold me back from being the best possible version of me.

It all boiled down to old messages that I picked up along the road of life that are not true.

Thoughts like:

  • “Don’t try because it will only lead to failure and rejection.”
  • “No one listens or cares about me.”
  • “I’m not capable.”
  • “I should have known and done better.”
  • “I am stupid, forgetful, thoughtless, lazy, etc.”
  • “Life is hard.”
  • “I have to do everything myself.”
  • “I must protect myself.”
  • “I must control all aspects of my life.”
  • “Eating helps me relax.”
  • “I don’t want to be told what to do.”

There are of course lots more, but I expect you get the point and might even recognize some of these as thoughts and beliefs that you’ve had.

Your negative, catabolic self-perception and world-view is all that is holding you back. Whoever told you those things was wrong. Those conclusions you drew were inaccurate.

The Truth is the only way to succeed is to have fun trying, and to learn from each experience until you get the result you want. You are fully seen and loved beyond measure. You are more capable than you can imagine. The process of learning how to do better is incredibly valuable. You are worthy and brilliant. All-That-Is (God, the Universe, Source Energy, Higher Coach—whatever works for you) is working on your behalf, if you will let It. There is no one right way to do anything and the way others do it is valuable. You are perfectly safe. Your life is unfolding just as it should. All of your emotions are valuable and are worth feeling fully. Finding the solution that works best for everyone is the best way to work with others.

Create a vision of Who you are when you are at your best. What are the thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that are holding you back? What can you do today to be the person you truly are?

Together we can do it!

Photo by SOMMAI/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why Are You Eating?

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The primary place where I still deal with emotional eating is when I’m feeling overwhelmed or frustrated when I’m on deadline. The stress from being under the gun makes me want to chew.

My desire is to reach for crunchy foods like popcorn and nuts. Sometimes the desire for a specific food can be so strong, it feels like I must give in or I will never be able to concentrate again.

According to Linda Spangle, author of “Life is Hard, Food is Easy,” this is a classic example of “Head Eating.” Stressful feelings like anger, resentment, and irritation often trigger a specific desire for a chewy or crunchy food.

Eating to cope with hollow or restless feelings like boredom, depression, or loneliness is “Heart Eating,” and is where an unspecific craving for comforting, soft and creamy foods is experienced. Think of standing in front of the fridge wondering what it is you want. The answer might be something like ice cream, candy, mashed potatoes, or macaroni and cheese.

Neither of these types of emotional eating is choosing delicious and healthy foods that will feed and nourish your body. You may tell yourself you are eating because you are hungry, or that you love food, but you’re not.

The true taste of food only lasts for the first few bites. After that, you no longer taste the deliciousness. If you can’t stop after a few bites, there is something more going on.

A quick way to tell if your hunger is because your stomach needs food to function, or is a desire in your mouth or head is to ask yourself if you’re hungry enough to eat an apple or orange. If one of those won’t do, ask yourself, “Why am I eating.”

When you can identify the situation—for me, stressful deadlines—then look for the emotions. I can feel overwhelmed with not enough time to get everything done that I need to, and frustration when people don’t call me back or get me the information that I need by when I need it. (They should, of course, recognize that I am on deadline and therefore cater to my needs! This is me rolling my eyes at myself.)

Once you realize that eating won’t change the problem—and may actually make it worse with feelings of guilt and self-hatred—look for what you can do instead. Note: this is easier done before you find yourself in the situation that will again trigger emotional eating.

Create a plan of attack. The next time that situation or feeling comes up, what can you do besides eat?

For me, I chew a lot of gum. (That’s a bit of a crutch to get me past the emotions, but it’s not eating, so I’ll take it.) I also take deep breaths, or take 10 to 15 minutes to meditate. (It can be really hard to make myself take that time, but it pays off in spades with how productive I am afterwards.) Typically these things work, but if all else fails, I do have some bags of 100-calorie popcorn on hand. They aren’t a great nutritional choice, but they won’t undo all my exercise and great eating up until that point, either.

How can you remind yourself to pay attention to why you are eating? When the reason is to soothe stress or deaden an uncomfortable emotion, what can you do to solve the problem without food? How much better do you feel about yourself afterwards?

Together we can do it!