Be Authentically Slim

On this day of your life, I believe God wants you to know…

…that if you’re doing something for someone else’s

approval, you may as well not do it at all.

There is only one reason to do anything: to announce

and declare, express and fulfill, become and

experience Who You Really Are.

Do what you do, therefore, for the sheer joy of it,

for sheer joy is who you are. Do what you choose,

not what someone else chooses for you.

Neale Donald Walsch

Do you change how you act when you are around others in order to receive their approval?

Believe it or not, your changing Who you are is one of the things that you are doing that is literally weighing you down. Think of those thoughts as weight-magnets.

This is because they generate negative, catabolic emotions that are impacting your body down to the cellular level. This catabolic energy triggers the release of the stress hormone cortisol, adrenaline, and other chemicals that over time impacts your metabolism and other weight-related systems making it easier to gain and harder to release weight.

Pleasing your parents, teachers, friends, bosses, etc., etc., to get their approval led you away from your authentic self—and actually led them to believe that other people had to change to make them happy. It truly served no one.

One of the things that I work with my clients to do is to show up authentically—regardless of the people or situation.

Showing up authentically doesn’t mean that you spew your opinions or are challenging to others if you have differences.

Truly, it’s just the opposite.

The authentic you is loving and accepting. The authentic you sees your value—and the value in each person and situation. The authentic you knows that there are no mistakes and that the diversity of people and opinions is what makes the world go round. The authentic you knows that being true to Who you are will be a gift to others—even if it doesn’t seem like it in the moment.

But if I you are acting out of anger, frustration, fear, judgment, or condemnation, you’re not being authentically you, and that is when it’s best to keep quiet.

You may think that it’s the other person who needs to change so that you can get along or get the approval you want, but—this may be hard to hearyou are contributing just as much to the difficult dynamics.

The only person you can control is you.

The onus is on you to stay connected to your Higher Self and to pay attention if you are coming from a place of love or a place of anger, a place of appreciation or a place of fear, if you are being authentically you, or if you are seeking the other person’s approval.

But how do you stay authentically you?

One way to maintain your connection to your Higher Self in relationships—particularly if you have a history of pushing each other’s buttons—is to actively focus on all the good qualities of the other person BEFORE you see them. You literally practice seeing them in the best light. Create a list of all the things about the other person that you appreciate, and read and add to it every day.

You can also practice a visualization where you see yourself bathed in a golden light that feels like joy and love, and then to expand that light to include other people. First, extend the light to the people you love and get along with easily. As the light grows brighter and more powerful, you can then more easily expand it to include more challenging people or people you feel the need to please. Keep expanding it until you eventually encircle the world.

By practicing appreciation you show up differently. Your expectations are a little different and you may not be so quick to judge, take offense, or alter your behavior.

Choose now how you want to show up during your next encounter with a particular person, and practice shifting your thoughts about them. Practicing your appreciation now makes it easier to show up authentically later.

If you find yourself sliding into old patterns, take a few deep breaths, or literally remove yourself from the situation. Go to the bathroom, or step out onto the porch. If you need to, go for a walk around the block. Do what you can to reconnect and find some relief.

And if you do react in a less than positive way, the primary thing to do is forgive yourself. You don’t have to be perfect. Pick yourself up and keep practicing being the best possible version of you so you show up differently the next time.

Together we can do it!

Love Your Way Slim

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”

-Lucille Ball

Often, women who struggle to release weight are love-starved.

Oh, you may have plenty of people who love and adore you, but you don’t feel loved.

Perhaps you’re so afraid of being judged that you refuse to completely open your heart to others. Or you have expectations of how people should love you that aren’t being met. Or you’re so self-critical, that you believe yourself to be unlovable.

Overeating is often an attempt to find the love you crave and fill the void in your heart with food. It is another way of looking in the wrong place to feel comforted and loved.

At the root of this is the mistaken belief that love is something that is given to you, or that you have to earn or be worthy of. That love comes from outside of you. That expressions of love have to meet certain criteria before you will accept them as love.

What many women don’t understand is that they are intrinsically valuable and worthy of love. That love is the very core of Who they are.

Remember the infant you in your mother’s arms. What did you have to do to earn love? What conditions did you put on the love you were receiving? What did you have to change about yourself to be worthy of love?

Regardless of what you have said and done in this life, what you have experienced, or how you have been treated, you are just as loved, lovable, and loving as the infant you.

Allowing yourself to feel loved is key to getting the body–and life–you want.

To see lasting changes in your body, it’s important to begin to crack that shell of protection you have created and allow love to trickle in from alternative places—from All-That-Is (God, the Universe, Source Energy, Higher Coach—whatever works for you) and from yourself.

Here are a couple of proven ways to begin to feel the love.

A powerful way to feel the love is to begin appreciating yourself. Not only can you turn your attention to those physical parts of you that you can appreciate, but also the internal parts. Begin to appreciate Who you are. Are you generous? Funny? Dedicated? Focused? Pay attention to and compliment yourself on your good qualities.

You can also appreciate the things that you do. Is the garden you have been tending overflowing with beautiful flowers? Did your kindness or compliment make someone smile? Did you get in your workout or stick to your eating plan? Count all the things you can appreciate about yourself—inside and out—and acknowledge and celebrate those things.

As you appreciate yourself, you begin to grow the love you have for yourself. You also grow the love you have to give to others.

Truly, loving yourself enough to take care of you—body, mind, and spirit—is what gives you the physical and spiritual capital to spend on others. 

“Life is here for you to live to the fullest. Take your courage in your hands and move out into Life. Ask for what you want. Believe that you deserve it, and then allow Life to give it to you.”

Louise Hay

Together we can do it!

Dress for (Weight Loss) Success

Since I work at home, it would be easy to spend the day in my pajamas.

And I won’t lie. There have certainly been days that being at my desk was a higher priority than putting on my street clothes.

But that is the exception rather than the rule.

Here’s why.

It impacts how I feel about myself.

Every time I walk by the bathroom mirror, my energy level takes a negative hit.

It’s not accurately projecting Who I am and Who I want to be.

And that matters.

This makes sense when you think about the Foundation Principle that “Energy Attracts Like Energy,” also known as the Law of Attraction.

As Albert Einstein so eloquently said with E=MC2, EVERYTHING is energy—including your thoughts and feelings.

This means you get what you project. If you are thinking negative thoughts about yourself, you will get more opportunities to think negative thoughts. If you are feeling bad about yourself, you will get more opportunities to feel bad.

Even what you are wearing sends out an energetic vibration. Do holey pajamas project success, abundance, a joyful and fulfilling life? Or does it project lack and lethargy?

If I feel like I need to hide out when the UPS guy rings the bell, that’s not a good sign.

A lot of women that I work with unknowingly perpetuate the cycle of losing and regaining the same 30 pounds by wearing sloppy clothes, or clothes that don’t fit well because they don’t want to “give in” to their weight gain. But this actually perpetuates the weight rebound cycle because it impacts how they feel and think about themselves.

Now this doesn’t mean I put on a business suit every day. I dress appropriately for working at home. But my clothes are clean, in good repair, and fit well.

When I walk by the bathroom mirror, I feel good about what I see—and each time that gives me a small energy boost. Then having the UPS guy bring me a box feels more like Christmas and I’m happy to see a fellow human.

Feeling good about myself in turn boosts my energy and desire to make consistent decisions that move me towards my wellness goals. For instance, I want to do my workout and to stick to my meal plan for the day.

And the more energy I put towards what I want, the more of that energy I attract. So the snowball effect begins to work in my favor.

What do you want more of? Who do you want to be?

Does what you are thinking, feeling, doing, and even wearing project that? Or are you getting more of the old you?

This doesn’t mean you have to transform your thoughts and feelings—or wardrobe—overnight. All you have to do is slowly and steadily focus more on Who you want to be—and begin making the decisions and choices that person would make.

An easy place to start is with what you are wearing. Does it fit well? Is it in good repair? How do you feel when you are wearing it?

Consciously decide to get more of Who and what you are projecting.

Together we can do it!

What Did You Expect?

What often holds women back from getting the body they want is the belief that they can have it.

Ultimately, you get what you expect.

You may hold yourself back from being willing to believe you can achieve your goal because of:

  • Fear that you will be disappointed
  • Worry that you aren’t doing the “right” eating plan or exercise program
  • Other contradictory beliefs, such as there’s something wrong with your body and it doesn’t respond like other people’s
  • Faulty beliefs about your self-worth and how much you deserve it
  • A combination of these or other thoughts

There are a number of reasons that expectation is so powerful and is such a huge predictor of success.

One is simply that you hold back on your commitment to action if there’s a part of you that believes the results are not possible.

Just think about it. How likely are you to give your workout your all or stick to your eating plan if you are questioning how effective it will be?

It can feel like a huge risk to put all your emotional chips in the game. It can lead to sabotaging thoughts such as, “What if I give it my all and still fail?”

But how likely are you to succeed if you aren’t giving it your all? By holding back, you are actually creating the outcome that you don’t want.

This is why really thinking about what optimal wellness means to you and the value it will have in your life is so important. This is why is it critical to be focused on creating a healthy lifestyle rather than a “diet” that you are doing for a limited time.

It helps you redefine success and the parameters of the game.

If you only define success as the numbers on the scale, it’s easy to “fail.”

But if success includes having your clothes fit better or being a smaller size, having more energy, doing more, feeling better, being more engaged in life, improved health, endurance, strength and stamina, etc., there is no way you could give your plan your all and “fail.”

And if you are focused on creating a lifestyle there is no end buzzer in which the game is over and you “fail.” It doesn’t matter if you reach your goal in 12 weeks or a year. What matters is that you are making progress. (See definition of success above.)

Expecting results is powerful. How much you hold back on being willing to believe you can achieve your goal is how much you will fall short.

The good news is that, as Abraham-Hicks says, a belief is just a thought you keep thinking.

This means that you can change your beliefs by choosing to think new thoughts!

Choose to think about:

  • How it will feel to be slim and healthy
  • How eating healthy food in the right portions and moving your body will help you achieve your wellness goals
  • How hard your body is working on your behalf
  • How much you deserve—and can achieve—the the body you want

What else can you do to shore up your expectation that you can achieve your goals? How does that impact your success?

Together we can do it!

What’s the Best Diet?

I just did a search on Amazon.com for diet books.

There were 71,652 results.

What this means is there is no one “right” way for everyone on the planet to eat—or to lose weight.

Think about it. A piece of fruit may be the best food choice for you, but to a diabetic, it could be harmful. Thus the ancient saying, “One man’s meat is another man’s poison.”

To lose weight, it comes down to the simple formula of taking in fewer calories than you expend. And there are lots of ways to achieve that.

I know women who are slim and healthy who eat a low carb diet, as well as some who eat a high carb diet, who are vegetarians and vegans, who eat only raw foods, or whole foods, the French way, the Mediterranean way, or the paleo way, etc., etc.

So both the challenge and the opportunity is that you have to take responsibility to find the plan for healthy eating that works best for you, that you will enjoy enough to follow consistently, and that is flexible enough to allow you to not only live your life now, but to change, grow, and evolve.

Because what is a healthy step for you today, may be different tomorrow.

For instance, if all you eat is potato chips, a healthier step for you would be a chicken sandwich. Is a chicken sandwich the healthiest choice? No, but it is progress from where you are. And as you get used to making that better choice, it is an easier step to the next healthy level of grilled chicken over salad.

One of the things that trips so many women up is that they think they have to go from eating nothing but potato chips to only organic chicken and steamed vegetables. That’s awesome if you can maintain it, but it’s often just too big a leap. It leads to them feeling deprived.

This is because they haven’t taken the necessary steps to change their underlying thoughts and emotions about what they want, why they want to make healthier choices, and what making healthier choices means to their life.

If the dietary leap is too big, most often they aren’t able to sustain it. If they are able to reach their goal, as soon as they hit the mark they go right back to eating potato chips and regain the weight.

While improving your eating habits slowly and steadily may take a little longer to reach your goals, isn’t the end result the same? And isn’t pulling on your jeans a year later and still having them fit absolutely and totally worth it?

Still, with so many options, how do you know which plan is right for you?

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

  • What is your definition of optimal wellness? (Truly, this looks different to each person and it’s helpful to get really clear about what this means for you.)
  • What are your goals? (Both short-term and long-term)
  • How well will the eating plan move you towards your goals and your vision of optimal wellness?
  • How likely is it to be healthy long-term?
  • How much will you enjoy the plan? (This is key!)
  • How likely are you to be able to make it a lifestyle?

Ultimately, the best eating plan is the one that you will enjoy enough to do consistently and enables you to make a series of increasingly healthy choices long-term.

What choice can you make today that will be a small step towards your ultimate wellness goals?

Together we can do it!