It’s not lost on me that I’m scheduled to present information to colleagues next week on being empowered to choose our responses and twice in the past few days I have not shown up as the best possible version of me.
Yesterday, in fact, was pretty much a textbook example of first victim and then anger responses.
Good show Universe! Good show!
Seriously, I really do appreciate the mirror and the opportunity to clean up my own act. If we are not aware of how we are showing up, how can we change?
This is one of the purposes of stretching, growing, and evolving. Each step gives us the opportunity to become even more.
But it’s up to us to take that step.
I suspect I could fill you all in on the details and get at least most of you to agree that I am “right.” That my point of view is clear and logical, and that the path I point to is the “best.”
But the inner world is not the appropriate arena for consensus. Agreement will just keep me stuck in the destructive, negative catabolic emotions, and that truly benefits no one.
It negatively impacts my body, mind, and spirit. And that destructive power reaches out and brings others down with it. Righteous indignation is not the same as right. Rather, it is a sign of being out of alignment with Who you really are and that more introspection is needed.
You can think of it as a coin. On one side of the coin is the problem and on the other is the solution.
If you are stuck on the problem side of the coin, all you will see is the problem. You will talk about it, rail, and rant against it, and get people to rail and rant with you, but when you are on that side of the coin you will not see the solution.
Switching sides of the coin means switching the mindset with which you look at the problem.
Einstein expressed this beautifully when he said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”
Instead of looking at a problem and feeling apathy or anger, it means shifting our mindset to being hopeful, open, and curious.
So how do you shift you mindset from the problem to the solution?
Here’s the process I have gone through so far:
Distract yourself—When you are in the throes of an angry, catabolic reaction get off the topic so that you can cool down. Last night, my husband David and I chose to watch a movie so that I could focus on something else. This was great as it enabled me to go to bed and get some sleep.
Feel the emotion—When my eyes popped open at 3:30 a.m., I actually felt OK. But as soon as I turned my thoughts to the topic, the catabolic emotion sprang back to the surface in a powerful way. I got up and let myself fully feel it. Often people avoid their powerful emotions, but that just prolongs the pain and catabolic energy.
Meditate—Once I was calmed down, I was able to focus on clearing my mind, which helped raise my energy and mood.
What’s at the root?—From this more constructive, anabolic place I was able to look at what was really going on. What was I really reacting to? What made me feel the need to dig in my heels? How important was it really?
Surrender—There is nothing to gain here by holding on to my one “right” way. The sooner I let go of this, the sooner we can find the solutions.
Trust—I use Jerry Hick’s mantra that, “Everything is always working out for me.” What I really want is on its way to me. My path—and the solutions—will be clearer if I just focus on that, and let the rest unfold.
There is no one “right” way to do anything. When you surrender and release the painful emotions, the solutions will be clearer.
Together we can do it!