Monthly Archives: June 2012

You Have the Keys to the Queendom

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Here are the top 10 ways people give away their power:

1. Asking others what they should do.

2. Thinking God decides who gets what.

3. Worrying about how their dream will come true.

4. Thinking they have dues to pay.

5. Attaching to unimportant details and outcomes.

6. Believing in soul mates.

7. Thinking karma or spiritual contracts are absolute.

8. Fear of anything, especially falling in love.

9. Waiting for their ducks to line up before acting.

10. Choosing to be unhappy.

Understand the truth, little bird, and you will soar.

Caw-caw,

The Universe

To be happy or not is always a choice.

 

 

Do you think it’s hard to make changes on the inside?

Do you believe your life is somehow separate from your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs?

Do you feel that those negative internal patterns are stronger and more powerful than your desire to change?

These are all signs that you are not being the leader of your body and life.

It’s time to step into your role as the alpha female of you. It’s time to accept your power. You are hereby granted sole proprietorship of your inner Queendom.

The key is deciding–deciding to take responsibility, deciding if it’s going to be hard or easy, deciding to be steadfast and persistent in your internal leadership role.

The internal changes may not be instantaneous, but little-by-little, decision-by-decision, moment-by-moment, each time you focus on what you want, who you want to be, and how you want to live your life and then make the decision to reach for that regardless of the fear or negative self-talk, you will be changing your interior landscape to one that will support and celebrate your self-leadership.

It is only when you take responsibility for and control over your daily thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that lead to your actions that your inner landscape changes. You do have power over your subconscious, your thoughts, and feelings–but you have to step into the leadership role.

How willing are you to be the leader of your own life? How willing and committed are you to take the consistent action needed? Only you have the answers for you. How hard or easy it will be ultimately depends on what you decide.

Together we can do it!

Feel the Love!

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This morning I stood under the shower and let the hot water pulse against my chest and back. It felt like an embrace from the Universe and I felt loved.

Often, women who struggle to release weight are love-starved. Oh, they may have plenty of people who love and adore them, but they don’t feel loved. Perhaps they’re so afraid of being judged that they refuse to completely open their hearts to others, or they have expectations of how people should love them that aren’t being met, or some variation.

At the root of this is the belief that love is something that is given to you, that comes from outside of you, that has to meet certain criteria before you will accept it as love.

How’s that working out for you?

To see lasting changes in your body, it’s important to begin to crack that shell and allow love to trickle in from alternative places—from All-That-Is (God, the Universe, Source Energy, Higher Coach—whatever works for you) and from yourself.

It’s easier to allow yourself to feel Universal love when you begin to believe Einstein was correct when he said E=MC2. In other words, everything is energy. Where do you think that energy comes from?

When you connect tactile experiences with Spiritual Energy, you can begin to feel them in a different way. The hot water of a shower feels like an embrace. The silky feeling of your blouse feels like a caress. The blankets enfolding you in your bed feel like a hug. Lean into those experiences and accept them as signs of love from All-That-Is.

Another powerful way to feel the love is to begin appreciating yourself. Not only can you turn your attention to those physical parts of you that you can appreciate, but also the internal parts. Did your kindness or compliment make someone smile?

Or appreciate the things that you do. Is the garden you have been tending overflowing with beautiful flowers? Did you give yourself some time to read a book or get a workout in? Count all the things you can appreciate about yourself, and acknowledge and celebrate them.

As you grow the love you have for yourself, you grow the love you have to give to others. Truly, loving yourself enough to take care of you—body, mind, and spirit—is what gives you the physical and spiritual capital to spend on others.

What can you do today to let yourself feel loved? How can you make that a consistent practice? What difference would that make in your life—and the life of others?

Together we can do it!

Photo by Lindsay Miller

It’s Worth the Weight

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In yesterday’s blog, I wrote about what’s behind the desire to wave a wand and have all your excess weight magically disappear.

Today, I’m going to talk about some of the reasons it’s worth the weight—to share the true value in experiencing the step-by-step process of releasing your excess pounds.

Because believe it or not, there is value in every experience. What you are thinking and feeling is part of Who you are, and the process you will go through to release the weight once and for all is about your becoming more powerful and true to yourself and Who you want to be.

I know this from experience. My weight and negative self-perception was an issue for me almost my entire life. I began hating my body at a very early age. I focused almost exclusively on its flaws, and what was wrong with me.

My negative self-perception—and my resulting struggle with my weight—raged for more than 35 years. Those negative thoughts bled over into all areas of my life. I was often depressed. I shied away from taking leadership roles at work. I had a hard time making close friends. I didn’t feel sexy or attractive with my husband.

And my struggle with my weight wasn’t because I didn’t know what to do. I taught myself about nutrition and exercise, and several times I got into incredible shape. I ran—finishing one half-marathon and doing all the training for another. I lifted weights. Several times I got down to a size 6. I knew what to do.

Even though I would lose weight, emotionally I didn’t feel any differently. All those problems that I thought would magically be solved by being thinner were still there.

This was because I wasn’t making the changes on the inside. I wasn’t aligning with what I wanted and why I wanted it. I didn’t feel confident in being accepted as the true me, which goes a lot deeper than just how I look. What it boils down to is I didn’t feel lovable because I didn’t love myself.

Because I was making these changes through sheer willpower, it didn’t take much for me to fall back into the pattern of regaining not only the weight I had just lost, but then some.

What ultimately had to change was what was going on the inside. What had to change were my thoughts, emotions and beliefs about myself, what I was capable of, what I deserved.

So in addition to consistently moving my body and eating healthy foods, I began looking for inaccurate thinking and practicing new thoughts of appreciation, praise, and support for my body—and myself. And I began tying this process to my spiritual journey. Accepting the love of All-That-Is (God, the Universe, Source Energy, Higher Coach—whatever works for you) was the path that lead to loving myself.

Successfully making these internal changes helped me not only get down to where I am today—between a size 4 and 6—but to keep the weight off now for more than two years.

Not only do I feel vibrant and alive, and have more fulfilling relationships in all areas of my life, but more importantly, those same internal changes have given me the confidence and self-empowerment to go after the life of my dreams, and reach out to help many, many women feel lean and sexy on the inside so they can be lean and sexy on the outside.

The process of releasing your weight is so worth it because it is a journey of self-discovery. It is reconnecting with your true self. It is embracing your power to create the life of your dreams.

Today I am grateful for all the struggles and challenges, and yes, even pain that I experienced over all those years. Every moment of it helped me be Who I am today, and makes me uniquely able to relate to other women who are using the path of releasing their weight for self-discovery.

If you are in the midst of the pain, you may not be able to feel, hear, or believe this right now, but I promise you, the end result is so worth the weight.

Together we can do it!

 

Photo from www.freedigitalphotos.net

 

 

Three Tips for Living Lean

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When a woman makes the decision to lose weight, often she wants the change effective immediately.

It’s the mindset of, “I want to be a size 4 and I want it today.”

This impatience is really being focused on the fact that you don’t have what you want, which means you are fighting the forces of the Universe and will struggle to lose weight.

What does it really matter if it takes a little time to achieve your goal? It’s the pain factor, right?

It’s looking in the mirror everyday and suffering from body shame. It’s feeling deprived as you turn down that piece of chocolate cake while everybody else digs in. It’s dreading the dressing room and trying on 50 swimsuits to find one that you might be willing to wear in public. It’s the risk of having your partner see you as unsex-worthy because of your sagging stomach.

You want to just wave a magic wand and make it all go away.

These thoughts are all symptoms of what has caused you to gain weight in the first place. At their heart is the fear of judgment and a lack of self-love. This is why so many diets and exercise programs fail. For lasting results, you have to change your core thoughts and beliefs along with eating healthy foods and moving your body.

Here are three tips to let go of the thoughts that keep you from living lean.

  • Focus on a body part you can appreciate. How often do you look in the mirror and criticize your stomach, butt, or thighs? When you catch yourself doing this, shift your attention to something you can compliment. Maybe it’s your hair, your ankles, or your fingernails. Just find something you can consistently shift your focus to and praise.
  • Make peace with the process. You didn’t gain the weight overnight, and you won’t lose it overnight. Recognize that life is meant to be lived and this includes living the experience of losing weight. Choose an eating and exercise program that you actually enjoy and that gives you some flexibility.
  • Celebrate your daily progress. Did you eat on plan today? Woo hoo! Did you choose an apple over pie? Awesome! Did you walk five minutes longer than the day before? Fabulous! Focus on all the things you are doing right and ignore the rest.

What can you do today to begin shifting from wanting immediate results to thrilling in moving towards your dream?

Together we can do it!

Take a Restraining Order Out On Yourself

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How long would you want to hang around someone who was constantly critical of how you looked, what you did, what you said, or how you acted?

Would they be the friend you went to for support when you were down, or to celebrate your success? Let’s hope not!

Loving support is about building you up, cheering you on, and having someone who believes in their heart that you can do anything that you set your mind on achieving.

Now look at how you treat yourself. Are you critical and demanding or loving and supportive?

If you are like most women, you say things to yourself that you would never say to a friend or loved one.

I’ve watched women give themselves a little slap along with a bit of self-criticism. “I should have thought of that.” Slap. “I’m so sassy.” Slap. “I can’t believe I did that.” Slap.

Many verbally abuse themselves for things like not being able to maintain a positive attitude in the face of real challenges, being less than perfect, and not looking the way fashion magazines say they should look.

In relationships where someone is verbally or physically abusing another, a court will step in and issue a restraining order to the keep the other person from inflicting any more harm.

It’s time to take a restraining order out on yourself.

Begin to ease up on the demands and criticisms you direct towards yourself. Look for and celebrate the signs of the progress you are making rather than the distance you haven’t yet traveled. Catalog and have confidence in the things you do well.

Treat yourself as you would treat another.

What can you do to draft yourself as an ally to support you in achieving your goals? How does changing how you treat yourself alter how others treat you? How much better does loving and supporting yourself feel?

Together we can do it!

Photo from www.freedigitalphotos.net