Heartfelt Wishes for a Friend in Pain


A friend of mine has a close family member that has a cruel disease that will kill them in a few months. I can’t even imagine how excruciatingly painful it must be to watch someone you love so much deteriorate rapidly before your eyes. I expect it feels like life is supremely unfair.

While I empathize, because I am not in the midst of her pain, it is easier for me to see the gifts in this experience that I hope with all my heart she will one day be able to look for and receive. Because as hard as life can be, everything we go through gives us the opportunity to learn, grow, and expand—and reach for more joy and fulfillment.

So I wish for my friend that at some point she will be grateful she and her family had this time to say goodbye. That as hard as it is, that she will be able to hold on to the fact that she was able to tell—and show this person—how much they mean to her. She will not regret having left anything unsaid or undone.

That even with this disease and the resulting grief, there are incredibly touching moments going on where everyone is fully present and loving. Those will be gifts they have for the rest of their lives.

I hope she can remember her faith and take comfort in the fact her loved ones suffering was short in comparison to the complete and utter joy that awaits them. That their connection will not be lost—just transformed.

Life is precious and we are not always able to consciously be present with the people we love, or to remember to live our own lives as fully as possible. As a result of this experience, she will know this more fully then just about anybody on the planet.

I hope she can feel the love and appreciation that so many people have for her. And that while her heart is breaking, that she will take comfort in the fact that so many of us who love her fully will hold the pieces until she is ready to put them back together again.

While these wishes are directed specifically to my friend, they are also directed to you. Sometimes “bad” things happen to good people. It’s easy to dwell on the misery, but the gifts are there, too. It is often those “bad” things that ultimately bring us closer to Who we truly are.

And we don’t have to wait for “bad” things to learn these lessons. Be present in this moment. It’s a gift that you cannot barter, return, or exchange. No matter what is going on in your life, fully experience right now. What difference does that make in how you think, feel, and live your life?

Together we can do it!

Photo by Evgeni Dinev / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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20 thoughts on “Heartfelt Wishes for a Friend in Pain

  1. I agree wholeheartedly. I knew that the one and only time I was able to make the distance to visit my beloved Nan in hospital would be the last time I ever saw her. As heartbreaking for me as it was, I’m glad that I was able to hold her and tell her how much I loved her.

    She died less than a week later; I firmly believed that she held on for me.

    My heart goes out to your friend and their family member.

  2. Very poignant. As I speak, I have a first cousin, suffering from Leukemia. As he fights a losing battle, I see the wonderous strength and gratitude his young wiffe displays.I realise that siuch moments of intense struggle awaken some deep down courage and strength in people. Is it an inner compass to cope? Or do people get into a delusion mode?

    Shakti

  3. Love this post, Hanna! I’m so thankful my mom’s cancer is gone, but she still has a very very long way to go to get back to optimal wellness. This give me lots to think about. Thank you, my friend, for your always wise words!

    • Thanks, Julia! So glad your Mom’s cancer is gone! Woot woot! Sending her–and you–lots of love and positive energy as she returns to optimal wellness. Love and appreciate you!

  4. Sorry to hear about your friend, must be difficult. They are lucky to have you as a friend. I wish I had the support of someone like yourself when I was going through something similar. Absolutely beautifully said!

  5. I go through the goodbye process constantly it seems. I guess that happens as you get older.

    It is hard for those who are watching, but we must be thankful for the time that we have. My religion helps in that we believe that we will be reunited again pain-free in the next life but it is so hard watching the physical pain in this life.

    Thank you for the comforting post. My BFF from HS whom I just reconnected with after 30 years is in stage 4.

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