I think the Universe was priming me yesterday when I wrote my blog about stress eating. Fortunately, I didn’t turn to food when I took a huge stress hit.
That hit was being told that I’m not showing up in a work situation in a way that reflects my absolute strongest core values and beliefs. Talk about taking a sucker-punch to the heart!
After meditating at lunch and much focus throughout the afternoon, I was able to shift my thoughts and perspective on this a little bit, but I still had a pretty sleepless night. As a result, when the alarm went off at 4:30 a.m., I lay there and thought about skipping my workout and sleeping in. I even thought about skipping my blog and just re-running an older post.
But I recognized that using this as an excuse for not showing up as Who I truly am in every area of my life is the exact opposite of the reaction I want to have. And what I want is to use this situation as an opportunity to be even better.
Getting up and facing my day also helped me realize that I’d had some clarity arrive in the night.
Number one is that this does not mean I’m a bad person. I know Who I am and I know that my values and beliefs were intact and being demonstrated—even if someone else made a value-judgment on how they interpreted my words or actions.
Now does this mean that I was showing up as my best self? Absolutely not. And this is where I have the opportunity for growth. In my blog yesterday, I confessed that deadlines make me feel overwhelmed and frustrated—clearly I have some negative catabolic energy going on. One of the unfortunate consequences of being in a carbolic place is that the repercussions are not just the negative emotions you feel.
When I’m under the gun, I have no doubt that I’m efficient and direct, something that could easily be interpreted as a values affront to someone else—something I would never mean or intend. If that’s not incentive to clean up my thoughts, feelings, and beliefs around deadlines and workload so that I am showing up with more anabolic energy, I don’t know what is.
I also recognize that communication is a two-way street. One of the ways that I can be a better version of myself is to work to open up that communication to get the discussion out of the value judgments and into specifics about what it is they’re looking for from me, and how we can avoid assumptions and interpretations in the future.
Another element of this is that the complaint lodged against me is the same one that has been lodged against everyone in my position. I had stepped into some preexisting catabolic victim-energy without realizing it. Had I not been in my own stress mode, I might have recognized this sooner and consciously chosen a different way to interact.
This long-stranding energy may mean that no matter what changes I make to show up more authentically, their perspective might not change. And I have to be OK with that. The only person I have control over is me—and it is my intention to be the best version of me that I can be in all areas of my life.
Striving to be the best possible version of you doesn’t mean there won’t’ be challenges. What’s different is that you take them as opportunities to be even better.
What can you do today to recognize that negative, catabolic emotions are a sign that you may not be showing up as the best possible version of you? How can you begin to be more in alignment with Who you really are?
Together we can do it!
I’m glad you “got up”, glad you wrote your blog! Enjoy your day!
Thanks, Pauline! I appreciate you!
That couldn’t have been easy to take those comments and turn them around to better yourself. Good for you. 🙂 Glad you aren’t letting it bring you down! Keep smiling! 🙂
Not easy, but a great opportunity! Thanks for commenting.
It hurt your heart so much because your heart is so big! It’s one of the reasons I love you =0)
Believe in yourself and the person you truly are, that’s the story you want to tell and that’s the truth.
Thank you! I love and appreciate you so much!
I’m glad you showed up too!