I had to give myself some tough love yesterday.
In the hubbub of trying to get out of town, my purse got left behind. I very much wanted to blame this on my husband who was gathering up the bags while I dealt with the dogs, one of whom had been in a state of anxiety for 24 hours because of storms leaving me with little sleep.
In truth, at first I did blame it on David after our friends called to tell us it was still on the kitchen table when we were already an hour down the road.
But the cranky, whiplash-fast response I had didn’t feel good because he’s not responsible for my purse—or my life. I am.
I’m not surprised that this came up for me to deal with head on, because I’d bristled at him just the day before when he playfully brought up another time during a trip that I left my purse behind at a restaurant. I didn’t like the reminder of my thoughtlessness and the resulting consequences—not only for myself, but for other people.
Doing this again was an opportunity to remember that I create my life and have responsibility for meeting my goals to be intentional, constant, and clear.
It’s a lot easier to blame others when things aren’t going right for us. Common excuses I hear about losing weight are, “If my boss didn’t make my job so stressful, I wouldn’t eat so much.” “The rest of my family wants to eat junk food, so I have to eat it, too.” “My spouse makes me so angry, the only way I can calm down is to eat.”
While these things may very well be true, shifting the blame to anyone or anything else makes you the victim—of others, situations, even the world. When you are in catabolic victim energy, you have no power to create the life of our dreams. It makes you blind to the path forward—even if it’s right in front of you—and zaps your energy for taking any step towards where you want to go.
Being the victim lets us off the hook. You don’t have to do better, try harder, or make any changes because everyone else needs to change first.
But you will never create the life of your dreams if you are waiting for anyone else to change. To truly change your life, you have to take responsibility for how you show up, respond, and the actions that you take.
Once again I have been presented with the evidence that I am not being as mindful as I want, that I’m using excuses for not being the best possible version of me, and I’m not owning up to the fact that is so obvious to everyone else—I’m not perfect.
If I shunt the responsibility for this onto David, I lose the opportunity to use this as a reminder of how much I want to be present in my life, to learn from this experience so I can make different choices next time, and to share this with you fabulous readers to remind you that nobody is perfect and that we are all growing and evolving every moment of every day.
What can you do to take responsibility for a task, situation, or event today and make a different choice for how you respond? How does taking responsibility empower you? How do you see yourself differently as a result?
To create the life of your dreams let go of blaming others and take responsibility for everything that happens. See everything as an opportunity to move towards the best possible version of you.
Together we can do it!
Here’s another blogger’s view on taking responsibility: Lose the Excuses by Living4Bliss
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