A lot of my clients feel like they have to figure out exactly where a problem started. They want to analyze and dwell on it and determine how it’s impacted them every step along the way.
I totally get this, as I once felt that need. And it can be helpful to make a new choice when you understand the one you have been consistently making.
But it’s often not necessary.
If you get lost driving in a new town but you’re able to get pointed back in the right direction, how helpful is it to turn around and look for the exact moment where you made the decision that led to a wrong turn? Won’t you get to your destination faster if you just keep going in the right direction?
In situations where healing is not the primary agenda (which is where a qualified therapist is most needed), what seems to be at the heart of this desire is a lack of confidence that they’re moving in the right direction, and a fear of meeting their goals.
When you think about the underlying principle that Energy Attracts Like Energy (also known at the Law of Attraction), being overly focused on where you are—or where you have been—just keeps summoning similar experiences, situations, and people so that your results never seem to change. This can lead to frustration, disillusionment, and even giving up on achieving your goal.
It is far more helpful to set your focus on who you want to be and the life you want to create now. Not with yearning, but with confidence and determination.
But how do you bridge that gap between the person you have been and having the confidence that you are creating the person you want to be?
This is the real work, isn’t it? It’s testing your footing by taking baby steps, and doing what you can do. It’s looking at the examples of others who have already been successful. It’s staying focused on all the reason you do want to make the change and what you want the end result to be. It’s ignoring your fearful gremlin that tries to convince you that the safety of right now is where you want to stay. It’s cutting away old inaccurate thought processes and beliefs that limit your progress, and celebrating each tiny step that leads you in the right direction.
And this is where faith comes in. It’s letting yourself believe that the Universe (God, Source, All-That-Is, Higher Power—whatever works for you) is on your side, regardless of your current experience. It’s a willingness to let yourself be optimistic and to feel good now, even when your situation hasn’t changed. It’s accepting what you have and where you are, without letting go of your goals. It’s an unshakable belief that what you want is absolutely and completely yours and on its way to you, and letting go of any evidence to the contrary. It’s ignoring naysayers, and being brave enough to think and believe something different from the crowd. It’s looking inside for the answers and embracing your own internal light.
In my own journey, I’m laser focused on optimal wellness. I have an unshakable knowing that it is mine, and my surgery next week is just an action step taking me closer to that reality. I am focused on and determined to do those things that are within my control, such as eating healthy foods and exercising. And I’m feeling excited about this new adventure I am embarking on.
What can you do to focus more on creating the person that you want to be, rather than dwelling on the person you have been?
Together we can do it!