A lot of my clients feel like they have to figure out exactly where a problem started. They want to analyze and dwell on it and determine how it’s impacted them every step along the way.
I totally get this, as I once felt that need. And it can be helpful to make a new choice when you understand the one you have been consistently making.
But it’s often not necessary.
If you get lost driving in a new town but you’re able to get pointed back in the right direction, how helpful is it to turn around and look for the exact moment where you made the decision that led to a wrong turn? Won’t you get to your destination faster if you just keep going in the right direction?
In situations where healing is not the primary agenda (which is where a qualified therapist is most needed), what seems to be at the heart of this desire is a lack of confidence that they’re moving in the right direction, and a fear of meeting their goals.
When you think about the underlying principle that Energy Attracts Like Energy (also known at the Law of Attraction), being overly focused on where you are—or where you have been—just keeps summoning similar experiences, situations, and people so that your results never seem to change. This can lead to frustration, disillusionment, and even giving up on achieving your goal.
It is far more helpful to set your focus on who you want to be and the life you want to create now. Not with yearning, but with confidence and determination.
But how do you bridge that gap between the person you have been and having the confidence that you are creating the person you want to be?
This is the real work, isn’t it? It’s testing your footing by taking baby steps, and doing what you can do. It’s looking at the examples of others who have already been successful. It’s staying focused on all the reason you do want to make the change and what you want the end result to be. It’s ignoring your fearful gremlin that tries to convince you that the safety of right now is where you want to stay. It’s cutting away old inaccurate thought processes and beliefs that limit your progress, and celebrating each tiny step that leads you in the right direction.
And this is where faith comes in. It’s letting yourself believe that the Universe (God, Source, All-That-Is, Higher Power—whatever works for you) is on your side, regardless of your current experience. It’s a willingness to let yourself be optimistic and to feel good now, even when your situation hasn’t changed. It’s accepting what you have and where you are, without letting go of your goals. It’s an unshakable belief that what you want is absolutely and completely yours and on its way to you, and letting go of any evidence to the contrary. It’s ignoring naysayers, and being brave enough to think and believe something different from the crowd. It’s looking inside for the answers and embracing your own internal light.
In my own journey, I’m laser focused on optimal wellness. I have an unshakable knowing that it is mine, and my surgery next week is just an action step taking me closer to that reality. I am focused on and determined to do those things that are within my control, such as eating healthy foods and exercising. And I’m feeling excited about this new adventure I am embarking on.
What can you do to focus more on creating the person that you want to be, rather than dwelling on the person you have been?
Together we can do it!
Goss Coaching 
Letting go of who we were, particularly past mistakes, is hard to do but so necessary to moving forward on the journey to the best possible version of myself. I’ll happily take baby steps because I know the best is yet to come…one step at a time.
That’s truly all it takes! Love you so much!
You could have been writing about me, just a few months back! I spent most of this year dwelling on the whys and wherefores instead of trying to move past those obstacles!
For instance, I am unsteady on my feet because I have epilepsy. That’s the very reason that I walk with a stick. I became massively overweight and suffered horrific tendonitis because of an epilepsy medication that I was taking, meaning that I suddenly couldn’t get around at all. I became ashamed of leaving the house because I was fat, and would make excuses to not even go out in the garden where next door’s kids might see me. I suffer from depression because it is linked to both my autism and my epilepsy – and it became worse because I became obsessed with my weight.
I’m an ex semi-pro swimmer and also excelled in hockey, basketball and cycling. I used to be super-fit in my younger days. When I couldn’t take it any more I asked for a new medication, and the weight began to fall off within the first few weeks of coming off the previous med entirely.
Except that I’d become anorexic by then, because I was terrified of remaining fat and feeling sick all the time (the extra weight put pressure on my gut and caused even more excess acid production than usual, and so I was vomiting every few days).
I can’t remember when I decided that facing my issues and dealing with them was going to cure me and that simply accepting my poor health as Something That Was would be the most harmful thing I could do to myself, but I did. I’m still battling my eating disorder to a degree (getting into pickling/preserving has helped there, as working with food actually makes me want to nibble) but I dropped all the weight and retain curves that I didn’t have before starting that medication because I was underweight before the changes began.
My epilepsy is much improved, and I believe this to be because I’m not stressing about my health and appearance any more. I still walk with a stick, but have been out to the nearby supermarket with my husband a couple of times in the last week and have been busy in the kitchen. I am eating toast most mornings and managing small amounts of soup on occasional evenings.
I control my anorexia now; it doesn’t control me. Eventually my stomach will come back up to a healthy capacity and I’ll be able to enjoy food with unmitigated abandon again, just as I used to. I can wait, because I’m already getting better; there’s no need for me to fret over and force something that is going to become worse if I worry about it.
I hope that you and I, between us, can inspire somebody to eye every fence and *believe* that they can jump it!
Gemma xx
Awesome, Gemma! What an incredible job of shifting your focus and energy, and staying focused on the progress you are making. I am cheering you on! Thanks so much for sharing, and I am sure, inspiring others! Hanna
I enjoyed reading your post! Our life experience is like driving a car, you wouldn´t drive your car looking back over your sholder all the time on where you have been – you would not even have a glass-window underneath your feet as you are driving so that you can look at where you are right now… you would be looking forward, to where you are going.
Everything that has happened brought you to where you now are, and all your power is right now in this present moment. So choose what you give your attention to because attention to brings more of…
Absolutely! Thanks so much for posting!
Yes…Synchronicity at work here. Interersting we are on the same wave length today 🙂
http://oneworldrising.wordpress.com/2011/12/09/time-to-dump-the-baggage/ thanks for your thoughts. They activate my challenge…I wish you all the best with your surgery next week……VK
Awesome! I will check out your post. Thanks for commenting!
Great reminder for me this morning!
Thanks, Tracy! Sending you positive thoughts!
I am in times that I am shaking and this post inspire me to keep going … thank you for sharing…. Best regards! 🙂
Thank you so much! I appreciate your reading and commenting on my blog! Hanna