I had an energy shift yesterday. The situation didn’t change, and there was no specific thing that happened, or that anybody said or did. I can’t pinpoint the cause, or the exact moment the shift happened. It was an internal change—a change in my thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.
It was a sudden awareness that I wasn’t just focused on the all the reasons the hysterectomy I’m having next week is going to be beneficial, or my plan to rebound as quickly as possible, or even how much humor I can find in the situation. It was a feeling of genuine excitement about the opportunities this surgery is presenting not only for my physical wellbeing—but for me.
I am actually looking forward to the new situation, new sensations, new environment, and new people I am going to encounter—regardless of how pleasant or not I might judge them. My view of the surgery and hospital stay has shifted to an adventure rather than something I know I can endure for 24 hours. And there is an eagerness to see how determined I can be, how focused, and how well I can use the skills I’ve learned to aid my recovery. It almost feels like a game, or an experiment where I get to see what works best in the moment.
What was interesting was the limiting belief this new feeling made me aware of—that you’re not “supposed” to be excited about experiencing something as “bad” as surgery. It made me reluctant to want to share this new perspective. It brought up my fearful Gremlin, who pointed out that things can happen in even minor surgeries that can result in death, or that the benign fibroid tumors being removed could really be cancer.
Yep, that’s all true. And it doesn’t matter. My spiritual beliefs help me see death as a positive experience. (It’s the folks left behind that have the hard time.) And should there be something else that comes of this, I know I can handle it because everything is always working out for me.
This life we are living is a miracle. There is no guarantee that we have anything but this very moment in which to be present and alive, and to enjoy the incredible colors, sights, sounds, and textures all around us.
I’m not sure how long this new perspective will last. My energy around this may bounce up and down. But for now, I’m going to enjoy this space. I’m going to bask in how much this constructive anabolic energy is aiding every cell in my body. I’m going to think about all the new things I will experience and how much about life I can appreciate from this new vantage point. I’m going to revel in my knowing that well-being is the dominate basis of All-That-Is.
Should my energy drop back down to anxiety, I’m going to remind myself that I was here—and that I can be here again. That I can allow myself to feel this good about something that so many judge as “bad.” I’m going to look for as many ways to have fun as possible.
And I am going to be grateful for the miracle of this moment. This fleeting time and space that will never be again. It is a miracle that the sun comes up every day and that the rain falls from the sky. It is a miracle to be able to see how each moment is unique and utterly new—the clouds in the sky will never be the same again. The birds and animals will never be in the exact same place. The cars and people moving around in their day are in totally new perspectives and positions from one another. The people we see and talk too are different, and even the words that we say to the people who are most consistent in our lives will be different. This is truly a new day and it is a gift for which I am so grateful.
Every situation is an opportunity to learn, grow, and live life to the fullest. How good you allow yourself to feel is up to you.
Together we can do it!