Tag Archives: Self-Esteem

How Much Power are You Giving to the Scale?

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Does having your gas gauge in your car read “empty” ruin your whole day? Do you post about it on your blog and tell all your friends what a failure it makes you?

Do you measure the air in your tires, and sit down on the curb and cry because it doesn’t show the number you wanted?

When you figure out the average number of miles you drive on a gallon of gas and it hasn’t’ changed from the day or week before, do you berate yourself with what an awful person you are—and go find comfort in a donut?

Then why are you doing that after you step on the bathroom scale?

Most women that I work with give way too much of their personal power to the scale. In their minds, not only does it measure how well they’ve done sticking to their exercise and eating plans, but it also measures their self-worth.

In truth, neither of these is the case.

The scale is just a tool—and a faulty one at that—that can be used to help you release weight. Using it consistently gives you a general idea of where you are your journey.

It typically does not accurately measure body fat—which is what you really want to know—and because weight is impacted by things like hormones, salt, sleep, etc., etc., it can go up and down for what feels like no reason.

When it becomes the deciding factor in the quality of your day and crashes your self-esteem, it is actually doing you harm. You might as well throw it away. It is holding you back, keeping you stuck, and making the weight stick to you like glue.

This is because the negative emotions you feel after stepping on the scale are generating catabolic energy that releases the stress hormone cortisol, adrenaline, and other chemicals that literally cannibalize your body. They break down your immune system, stress your heart, and impact your muscles. They also impact your metabolism and other weight-related systems making it easier to gain and harder to release weight.

By giving the scale the power to measure your value you are robbing yourself of the immense power you actually do have to get the body you want.

You can reclaim some of that power right now by deciding that you will no longer allow an inanimate object that at best is an inaccurate tool from dictating how you feel.

Until you can step on the scale and feel good about yourself—regardless of what number it reads—you are better off using a measuring tape, fat-measuring calipers, or even how well your jeans fit as your gauge to determine your progress.

Your value as a person is far greater than the number on the scale. And when you align your thoughts, emotions, and beliefs with your actions, you will be amazed at the progress you make.

How can you measure your progress in a way that will help move your towards your goals, rather than hold you back?

Together we can do it!

 

 

You Are So Beautiful!

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What is beautiful to you?

Does it involve a certain body weight or shape? A certain wellness level? When you look in the mirror do you see your definition of beauty smiling back?

I often hear clients focused on wanting to change how others see women and judge beauty. There is much frustration that women on television and in ads are significantly thinner than average. People point to pundits’ criticisms of specific bodies. There are many photos of past sex symbols who were less than lean tied to complaints about the changing definition of beauty.

But how likely is it that you are going to change society, or the modeling, television, or advertising industries?

Wouldn’t it be easier to focus on your own judgments and definition of beauty?

Until you are so pure in your appreciation of every woman’s body and beauty that a critical thought is never entertained, until your actions align 100 percent with your personal definition of wellness, and you can look in the mirror with not only appreciation but adoration, you have no power to change anyone else.

You may want others to deem you—or more women—as beautiful, but before that can happen, you must judge yourself as beautiful first. And you must allow everyone else to have their own definition of beauty.

This is the sticking point for most women. You have to stop looking outside of you for self-esteem, appreciation, and acceptance. Those are things you have to give to yourself.

It is only when you began making these internal changes that you will begin to see lasting external changes.

To do this, you have to begin:

  • Letting go of the fear of other people’s judgments.
  • Aligning your actions with your beliefs and desires.
  • Looking for and appreciating your beauty and innate value—body, mind, and spirit

Instead of trying to change others, how would it feel to examine your own judgments and definition of beauty? How could you begin to align more fully with that?

The best way to change the world is to change how you see yourself.

Together we can do it!

Time for Self-Respect

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While I’m away at coach training for a few days, I’m running a few of my favorite blogs that you may have missed.

An old boss of mine had a sign on his door that read, “The floggings will continue until morale improves.”

It was a joke, of course. But how often do we try to motivate ourselves with the whip of internal insults, slurs, and condemnations?

Does telling yourself that you’re “ugly, fat, stupid, and lazy,” really make you want to get up and do your workout, or forgo the potato chips?

If spoken aloud, many people’s internal dialogues might be deemed verbal abuse. Sometimes this abuse can go on practically nonstop, every day. What do you think this does to that person’s self-esteem and belief that they can achieve their goals?

Pushing through this line of thinking to create action takes incredible energy and strength, much like rolling a boulder up a hill. And while progress can be made, without changing our underlying thoughts, emotions, and beliefs, one moment of mental fatigue or flagging self-discipline may result in our watching that boulder roll back down the hill, and our not only regaining all the weight we lost, but then some.

Changing our thoughts, emotions, and beliefs about ourselves, what we want, and our ability to achieve it helps break us out of this cycle of self-punishment. It creates a boost of momentum that makes our push towards wellness a lot more fun and sustainable.

A general rule of thumb is, “If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, it’s not appropriate to say to yourself.”

Begin treating yourself with the respect you deserve. Focus on all the reasons you do want to move your body and eat healthy foods. Focus on all the things you are doing to move yourself forward. Speak to yourself with kindness and encouragement, and celebrate each small sign of progress.

By doing the internal work along with the external work, you can achieve the life of your dreams.

Together we can do it!

Photo by Suat Eman / FreeDigitalPhotos.net